Chapter 5: You Still Love Me
"…and then he said 'check the children', and the phone went dead…and she ran up the stairs but it was too late…" Samual Guthrie was sitting on the ground near the campfire, using a firm but very creepy tone to tell a scary story.
"Oh c'mon, that's an OLD story, can't you at LEAST come up with something new? You told that LAST Halloween!" Bobby Drake made a face.
Remy was standing leaning against a tree in a clearing of the small woodland area on the mansion's grounds, watching the scene, the younger mutants sitting in a circle around a small campfire, telling stories, sharing soda and potato chips. Remy wished he had the enthusiasm to join in, but with two hours to pass until his twenty-first birthday, he barely felt his involvement would be wanted amongst the teenagers.
"What time is it?" Rogue wandered over, her voice weary, she seemed bored. She was clad in a long, black woollen coat, buttoned up tight around herself, her hair tied back tightly from her face, her ponytail swinging in the wind.
"Ten," Remy responded, "got 'til midnight," he replied, he took a pack of cigarettes out of his hip pocket, put a cigarette to his mouth, and lit it.
Rogue looked at him with much disgust, "I thought you quit," she said, she leaned against the nearby tree, hands deep in her pockets.
"I quit for you, but since me and you aren't a 'thing' anymore and since doesn't seem like there's much chance we're gettin' back together, I don't think it matters anymore, really," he admitted with a nonchalant shrug, he exhaled through his nostrils, two thin streams of smoke disappearing into the night air.
Rogue shook her head in disbelief, "you're gonna die one of these days, cancer or something."
Remy shrugged again, he looked away from her, "I know we been through a lot this last year, Chere, but for tonight, can we please just get along as friends, teammates or even just acquaintances?" he requested, "I have no wish to argue."
"Fine," Rogue responded quietly.
Remy looked away, "wish I was their age again," he gestured to the younger mutants who were out of earshot, they were laughing together.
Rogue watched him, he was swathed in darkness, but the glow of the end of his cigarette stood out against the blackness, the light from the nearby fire barely casting any light upon either of them. "Why?"
He shrugged, "I don't know, I guess there's some things in life I'd like to do differently."
There was an awkward silence.
"In a few hours I'll be twenty-one…I'm already a man but…twenty-one seems like a ten year jump rather than one," he admitted, "and in truth…I feel so much older," he sighed unhappily. "Ever since I was twelve, been robbed of my childhood. What I'd give just to be able to have it back again…" he looked up to the sky, watching the smoke from the campfire rising.
"I know what you mean," Rogue responded after a moment, her voice soft, "I never had much of a childhood either…" She gave a sigh as well, and chewed the inside of her cheek, she was running out of things to say, "wow…I had totally forgot about your birthday y'know."
"Was a year ago tonight that me and you found out about MutantX," Remy said, "remember?"
"How could I forget," Rogue pursed her lips together tight, eyes darting to check on the others, making sure the ones she was meant to be chaperoning were still behaving themselves, and it seemed they were.
Remy tossed his cigarette way, and walked over to her, he placed his hand on the bark of the tree she had her back against, and leaned in towards her, gazing at her through the darkness, the whites of her eyes glinting in the moonlight, "remember after midnight on that night…me and you were watchin' a movie…you fell asleep with your head on my shoulder," he murmured.
Rogue glanced up at him, "the night you wished on the candle in the jack o' lantern," Rogue looked down sheepishly, "remember what you wished?" she asked, her voice becoming emotional, timid.
"That I'd never do anything to hurt you…" he sighed, "and I did."
"You believed you wouldn't…even I did," Rogue chewed her bottom lip, she glanced up to the sky.
Remy leaned in a little closer, his nose almost touching hers, "I sat there all night watchin' you, thinkin' I must be the luckiest guy on the face of the earth to have found someone like you, someone who was willin' to take me after everythin' I'd done, after everything we'd both been through," he said softly.
Rogue swallowed, she finally raised her eyes to his, in the darkness he almost seemed to have no eyes, only two dark endless hollows where they would be. She shuddered a little, not from the cold, but of the feeling of his breath soft upon her face, upon her mouth, a mouth that for over a year she'd longed to kiss.
Remy quickly glanced towards the young mutants, making sure they were all still there, satisfied they were all right, he glanced back towards Rogue. "I've screwed up, you've screwed up, no one's perfect, but we still care for each other, I can see it in your eyes."
Rogue tried to pull away, "its over," she said, "I gave you the necklace back, its done, we're over."
Remy felt exposed to the eyes of the younger mutants, he sighed, pulling her behind the tree a little more so they were hidden, "we are not over…you mighta thought the necklace would finalise it, but it didn't. It doesn't STOP the feelin's from bein' there…you love me…you STILL love me," he murmured, "please…one more chance…that's all I'm asking."
"I've given you too many chances…"
Remy stepped so close to her that his body was pressing against hers, their lips were so close, their breaths against each others mouths, hot and uneven. There was a strange energy in the air between them, Rogue could feel the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end, Remy could feel it too. "One more…" he whispered, "its all I'm askin'."
"We're meant to be watching the kids…" Rogue swallowed nervously, despite her reluctance to be in this conversation with Remy she couldn't pull away, and she longed to feel those lips against hers.
"Marie, please…" Remy moved so his mouth was near her ear, he whispered, "one last chance…and if I screw up…I'll leave the X-Men, and your life for good."
Rogue closed her eyes, his breath soft, warm and ticklish against her ear, a strange pleasure seemed to come with it, making her feel weak, she reached to hold on to him to steady herself, "not now…" she whispered, "the kids…"
Remy glanced around the tree, he counted them all, "they all there," he assured softly, "please…" he murmured, "all I'm askin' is just one chance."
"What about Jared?" Rogue looked at him, "I'm still technically with him."
"You were still technically with me too, when you ditched me for him," Remy said, "Chere, Jared STOLE you from me…he preyed on your vulnerability."
"Isn't that what you're doing now?" Rogue asked softly.
"I'd do anythin' to get you back…even if it means…havin' to be honest about somethin' else," Remy looked her right in the eyes, "it…won't be what you want to hear, but you should know it…and I don't want you to be mad with me."
Rogue looked at him concernedly, "what have you done…"
Remy swallowed nervously, "me…and Kitty…" he began.
Rogue looked alarmed, "Please don't say you slept with her…" Rogue trailed off, "Please…if you say that, it'll be more than I can take…" she looked away, her eyes glazing over, even in the darkness he could see they were to become watery.
Remy put his hands up his defence, "No…" he moved back a little, hoping to god what he was about to tell her was not going to get him rejected much further. "It's not that."
"Then…what is it…" Rogue looked at him.
Remy sighed, "Maybe I shouldn't tell you," he then decided, "if I do…might ruin our chances of ever bein' together."
"How can you expect me to want to be with you if you won't tell me?" Rogue pointed out. Suddenly, everything she'd thought about letting go of him turned around, she wanted to hold on desperately. "You promised before you'd never lie to me, that you'd tell me anything I want to know…tell me…"
Remy drew his breath, fine…I'll tell you, but please…don't get mad…" he pleaded of her, "Me…and Kitty, we were never into each other…" he gave in finally, winced as a harsh blast of cold brushed against his bare cheeks.
"What do you mean you were 'never into each other'," Rogue looked even more startled, her eyes growing wider, two glassy white orbs contrasting against thick eyeliner and eyeshadow.
"It was an act…to get you back," Remy shoved his hands in his pockets, he looked away, "my idea, not Kitty's," he added in a lie. He felt although this was a lie, it couldn't harm Rogue to not know. The last thing she needed was to know her best friend had come up with the idea of the jealousy dating.
"You…what…?" Rogue wasn't sure she was hearing right.
"Please don't make me say it again…" Remy glanced around the tree, making sure the others were still there, he counted them, yes, all there, still laughing, still having fun. He wished he were laughing with them rather than hurting Rogue again.
"You…you…" Rogue was stammering, trembling with anger, her breath coming out in strange uneven rasps.
"Chere, be steady, breathe…" Remy took hold of her shoulders looking at her, "please…breathe, don't let yourself take another panic attack."
Rogue pushed him away, "you fucking asshole," she screamed at him, "it's because of you he left!"
Remy looked at her, dumbfounded, "wait a minute, I didn't FORCE Jared to leave, he left of his own accord! I had nothin' to do with it."
"You were the reason we were fighting!" Rogue swung a fist at Remy, he caught her arm, she tried to swing the other, he caught it again, trying to hold her back, her strength was becoming more than he could cope with. The pain in his back – which he'd almost forgotten about – was beginning to become extreme with the force he was putting into holding her arms back.
"You asshole!" Rogue screamed, "You couldn't see me happy!" she struggled with him, "let me go!"
"Calm down, the others will hear!" he hissed at her.
"I don't care!" she broke free of his grasp finally, and she swing her hand in his direction. The punch used some force, she wasn't sure if she meant it or not, he swung around, staggering.
Remy had never been hit with such force by a woman, never. She'd hit him before, sometimes it hadn't even been deliberate, and sometimes it had been, but nothing could have prepared him for the pain, nor the sudden dizzy feeling that followed her right hook to the cheekbone. His vision felt suddenly hindered, his balance lost, he fell onto his side, the soft earth, dried leaves and sharp twigs under his skin. "Chere?" he managed to mumble in pain. He felt as if his brain were shutting down, everything became black.
Rogue gaped, she couldn't believe she'd hit him the way she had, she watched him fall, she heard the thud, and the snapping of twigs as he hit the woodland carpet, "Remy…?" She asked in a timid voice. "Remy…get up…" tears formed in her eyes, "c'mon…get up you ass, it was a punch, you can't have been hit that hard…"
"Rogue…is everything okay, we heard yelling…"
Rogue turned, Bobby and Sam were standing looking most confused, they shone a flashlight on Remy.
"What happened to him?" Sam asked concernedly.
Rogue wiped her tears of panic, "nothing, he'll be fine…go back and have your fun, I'll take care of it…"
As Sam and Bobby headed off Rogue raised Remy up, tears streaming down her face. She wasn't sure she'd be able to forgive Remy…and now, she wasn't sure if she was able to forgive herself.