Really Bad Eggs, Viagra and Slashyness THE SEQUEL!, a pirates of the caribbean fanfic

Really bad eggs, Viagra and slashyness

The sequel!

Authors notes:

So once again a plotless story with no point……..only to make u laugh like a dumbass at something incredibly stupid.

So the story begins again……..

The gang was back in action, Elizabeth miraculously came back to life thanks to the minty freshness of Anna Maria's breath. (no one knows why that came to be). They were all in Will's old blacksmith shop. The stale stench of that damned donkey was upon the air as Mr. Gibbs swallowed one of his Viagra, which somehow tasted a little like crap. Literally. So all of a sudden Elizabitch…..er…. Elizabeth screamed out: "ANNA MARIA! COME SCREW ME!" But……..Anna Maria………being a prostitute said: "NO! I'm not a lesbian anymore. I'm sorry, but I'm with the donkey!" So Anna Maria and her prostitute self went off and screwed the donkey like a wild monkey cow.

All of a sudden Will stormed into the room where Anna Maria lay naked next to the donkey who had a massive fricken boner and ripped off all of his clothes. He pushed Anna Maria off the bed which just miraculously appeared out of no where. He rapidly began to hump the defenseless horny donkey and Jack appeared out of no where also with a video camera and began recording this crazzzzy animal porn. "OH YEAH! HUMP THAT DONKEY!" The donkey started making loud noises that donkeys don't usually make and all of a sudden the lens of the camera appeared white and slightly wet……WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN

Elizabitch walks into the room and punches the donkey in the face and kills Jack. :::in Cartman voice::: (Southpark…) "OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED JACK! THOSE BASTARDS!" And Will, being naked….jumps on top of Elizabeth who just so happens to be licking her knee and starts biting her shoulder. Then all of a sudden Mr. Gibbs bursts through the door singing in an operatic tone: "THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF MUUUUUUUSICCCC!!!!! LAAAAAAAA!" And then he jumps on top of Jack screaming for him to come back to life when all of a sudden…… Homer Simpson walks into the room! "Have any of you seen Bart?" And then Homer gets this gigantic visualization of him being screwed by Anna Maria and he goes and rapes her. Then all of a fricken sudden Gandalf the Gray slams the door open and screams: "YOU SHALL NOT SCREW!" And holding his staff in both hands stabs it into the floor but it breaks in half and Gandalf's cloak slips off revealing a Scrappy Doo! So Scrappy starts crying because his plan to rule the world is ruined and all he is left to do is cry for Scooby.

And then out of nowhere….a bright white light shines down from the ceiling and an angelic voice begins to chant some ancient Latin crap and I come down from heaven as an angel and rip Will out of the mess. With my angel powers I bring Will up to heaven with me.

Heaven was bright and full of crappy, ancient Latin chanting. I placed Will on a cloud and he somehow had a big white robe on. His wings were black though so I knew he wasn't a good angel. I condemned him to hell and so down he went (with me of course). We fell through the clouds and back through the blacksmith shop and through layers of earth until finally we reach Hell. (quite a lovely place). Then Jimmy Buffet begins to sing Margaritaville and then we're wearing some ridiculous Hawaiian shirts and shorts and we have a cheeseburger in our left hand and a margarita in the other. The gates to hell open and out comes the Devil, who turns out to be my mother who starts to scream at me. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING DOING HERE, FUCKER?!" She let out a maniacal laugh. So I took out a shard of Gandalf's broken staff and stabbed her in the eye. "YOU SHALL NOT YELL!" And we walked through.

Hell was one big Hawaiian Luau with live entertainment and free margaritas! So me and Will got drunk and entered some stupid wet t-shirt contest and next thing I remember was waking up the next morning naked with Adam Sandler laying naked next to me. I thought to myself, "WHAT THE FUCK?!" So I left Hell and went back to earth. Then Elizabeth was still licking her knee and Jack was alive again and he was picking at a zit on Anna Maria's nose. Will was laying naked next to the donkey who died from excessive hornyness. Mr. Gibbs was off searching the sewers for his Viagra which he thought Jack might have crapped out. But instead he found the Egg McMuffin which Jack had digested before. So Mr. Gibbs, being hungry and all, ate it. He left the sewers and went back to the blacksmith shop.

The gang, including me all looked up at him. He had a happy little smile on his face and FARTED. Then once again it made Will's boner not hard and my nipples, yes all 24 of them dehardenized at the stench. "THAT"S S GROSS!" I yelled out as I threw a sponge at him. "Would it kill you to go the fricken dollar store and buy a fricken bar of soap for 99 cents? Just put it under your arms and scrub! SIMPLE CONCEPT! WOULD IT KILL YOU TO BATHE?!??!" Then I look at Will and say in a munchkin type voice, "He is the filthy one!" And so I picked up Mr. Gibbs and took him to a metal hospital.

There he met Samara, the freaky little girl from The Ring and she crawled out of his T.V. and raped him, but Mr. Gibbs was not good enough because he didn't have his Viagra. So Samara starts crying and says: "All I wanted was to screw someone!" And then she crawled back into her well and was never seen again……

And so Elizabeth said: "The squirrel is master of all that is lasting. Time, space, nothingness. It all passes through the big fuzzy tail. Obey the Lord, obey the Master. I am the only one. Consider yourself not within the reason of being. I am the answer, give unto me. I am the master of all that will be! OBEY FOOLS!"1

So in the end

Mr. Gibbs died of torture

Anna Maria went to hell and literally partied her ass off.

Elizabeth died.

Will screwed himself into a coma.

Jack got food poisoning from drinking an unknown white, sticky fluid on the camera……….

Homer Simpson goes home.

Scrappy Doo gets pregnant from Daphne

Adam Sandler wouldn't leave me alone, insisting I was the best he ever had in bed…

And I……went back up to heaven and chanted some ancient Latin crap.

THE END.

More authors notes: random eh? The first was better…..i know I know….but everyone wanted a second one but my lack of hornyness today was really very odd. Eh, so tell me what you think.

Please note: I had some friends say there might be religious issues with the heaven and hell thing….please realize that I'm a Catholic so don't get offended in anyway cuz I didn't mean anything bad by it…..