The Lord of the Rings- Australian version
Hi people, this is my 1st fanfic, so I'd love it if you could review it for me. I want to know if you like it or not. Thanks! BTW- I own none of these characters, just my strange sense of humour!
Blurb: The Fellowship, on their mission to destroy the ring, accidentally took a wrong turn somewhere near Caradhas and found themselves ended up in Australia, of all places! Tired, hungry and confused, The Fellowship are bickering fiercely and most of them are wishing they'd brought a gameboy or some barley sugars with them on this quest to pass the time.
Oh well, the future is looking up as they trudge their way into a town called Alice Springs. Maybe the fellowship can get some directions to Mordor from there?.
The Fellowship slowly tramp up a red dirt track getting dust on their faces, hands, fingernails, toenails and every other place possible. They come across an old dilapidated building on the edge of a town with the word "Pub" on it. All 4 hobbits faces light up and they begin to run at full pelt without a word towards it (which isn't all that fast considering they're hobbits). The other members of the fellowship look at each other strangely on account of the fact that they have no idea what a pub was. Gandalf being the exception. He smiled knowingly in an infuriating way and looked superior, which annoys everybody ALL THE TIME.
As the rest of the Fellowship enters the pub, they find the hobbits already at the bar, half drunk. With some difficulty, Pippin hobbles over with a stupid smile on his face. "Hiiii Booromir," he says to Aragorn. "Hiiii Aaaragoorn" he says to Gandalf "I didn't know y..you were sooo old!" Gandalf gives Pippin a sharp slap on the ear. "Fool of a Took!" he yells "We don't even know where we are, and you're already drunk senseless!"
"You're lost are you?" came a deep mysterious, stranger's voice. "You'd better come with me then".
The tall, dark stranger clothed in a black cloak led the Fellowship up a flight of stairs into a dark room.
At this stage the hobbits got sick of singing "100 bottles of beer on the wall" and switched to "what shall we do with a drunken sailor" before falling quiet
"They call me Strider©" Said the stranger.
"Oi!" protested Aragorn. "You copied me! I am called Strider!" The Stranger produced a thick wad of official looking documents, explaining that they were the copyright agreement he had drawn up with his lawyers 20 years ago and if Aragorn wanted to avoid a long and onerous court case he wouldn't use the name again. Aragorn meekly conceded but confided to Boromir in a low whisper he had plenty of other names to choose from and frankly, Strider didn't evoke a strong enough image for him.
"Well," said Strider©. "2 poms, a pretty boy, an oversized garden gnome, 4 kids who have no appreciation of drinking laws and an old fart. What are you all doing here?"
After the general uproar from the fellowship members was over (with the hobbits demanding they were all over 18, Gimli yelling he had NO relation whatsoever to a garden gnome, Legolas stating in a snooty tone, that he was NOT a pretty boy, he just knew the importance of appearance, Aragorn and Boromir arguing with each other to the meaning of a "pom" and Gandalf grunting something about how he was not old, just well matured, like cheese) ; the story of the Fellowship's adventure so far spilled out with Gandalf doing all the talking and occasional butting in from the others when he got a fact wrong.
."So on the 12th day, after breakfast.." "Of scrambled eggs and bacon," Sam added quickly "Yes, whatever", said Gandalf. "Anyway, on the 12th day we decided we were well and truly lost. But then, with my superior sight, I spotted what turned out to be a road and saved us all!"
"Ahem! Excuse me!" said Legolas "You seem to have the facts wrong. I am the one with exceptional sight and it was ME that saw the road, you old *******!"
After a night of intense bickering between the fellowship with the exception of Sam, who promptly went to sleep, it was finally morning. All 4 hobbits had severe hangovers and every body else had bags under their eyes. Legolas used concealer on his. They stumbled down to breakfast, where they met Strider© for the last time, who was still struggling to get last nights facts right. "So. you are looking for a mountain. in a place called Mordor." "Yes! That's it!" cried Gandalf, who was trying very hard after last night to prove he was useful. "And its full of bad people, and..." "Well," said Strider, still thinking. The only tall thing around here, is Uluru." "That must be it!" said Gandalf firmly. "It's very confusing how everything has different names. I my self am called Gandalf, the Grey Pilgrim, Mithrandir, the Grey Fool. well, that ones not so much a name as it is an insult." Pippin, anticipating another of Gandalf's long and boring speeches, cut him off with a loud yawn, followed by a burp into Merry's face. "Oi!" protested Merry, and the two proceeded to have a burping competition.
After breakfast, Strider© wrote the directions to Uluru on the back of a drink coaster and handed them to Aragorn, afraid Gandalf would probably lose them if he gave them to him. "Well now, we must be going. Thank you Strider© for your helpfulness" said Gimli. "And that dirty face soap" he added in a sly undertone, grinning wickedly in Legolas's direction.
The fellowship set off up a dusty track, not sure how long it would take them, but determined to complete their quest all the same.
Hi people, this is my 1st fanfic, so I'd love it if you could review it for me. I want to know if you like it or not. Thanks! BTW- I own none of these characters, just my strange sense of humour!
Blurb: The Fellowship, on their mission to destroy the ring, accidentally took a wrong turn somewhere near Caradhas and found themselves ended up in Australia, of all places! Tired, hungry and confused, The Fellowship are bickering fiercely and most of them are wishing they'd brought a gameboy or some barley sugars with them on this quest to pass the time.
Oh well, the future is looking up as they trudge their way into a town called Alice Springs. Maybe the fellowship can get some directions to Mordor from there?.
The Fellowship slowly tramp up a red dirt track getting dust on their faces, hands, fingernails, toenails and every other place possible. They come across an old dilapidated building on the edge of a town with the word "Pub" on it. All 4 hobbits faces light up and they begin to run at full pelt without a word towards it (which isn't all that fast considering they're hobbits). The other members of the fellowship look at each other strangely on account of the fact that they have no idea what a pub was. Gandalf being the exception. He smiled knowingly in an infuriating way and looked superior, which annoys everybody ALL THE TIME.
As the rest of the Fellowship enters the pub, they find the hobbits already at the bar, half drunk. With some difficulty, Pippin hobbles over with a stupid smile on his face. "Hiiii Booromir," he says to Aragorn. "Hiiii Aaaragoorn" he says to Gandalf "I didn't know y..you were sooo old!" Gandalf gives Pippin a sharp slap on the ear. "Fool of a Took!" he yells "We don't even know where we are, and you're already drunk senseless!"
"You're lost are you?" came a deep mysterious, stranger's voice. "You'd better come with me then".
The tall, dark stranger clothed in a black cloak led the Fellowship up a flight of stairs into a dark room.
At this stage the hobbits got sick of singing "100 bottles of beer on the wall" and switched to "what shall we do with a drunken sailor" before falling quiet
"They call me Strider©" Said the stranger.
"Oi!" protested Aragorn. "You copied me! I am called Strider!" The Stranger produced a thick wad of official looking documents, explaining that they were the copyright agreement he had drawn up with his lawyers 20 years ago and if Aragorn wanted to avoid a long and onerous court case he wouldn't use the name again. Aragorn meekly conceded but confided to Boromir in a low whisper he had plenty of other names to choose from and frankly, Strider didn't evoke a strong enough image for him.
"Well," said Strider©. "2 poms, a pretty boy, an oversized garden gnome, 4 kids who have no appreciation of drinking laws and an old fart. What are you all doing here?"
After the general uproar from the fellowship members was over (with the hobbits demanding they were all over 18, Gimli yelling he had NO relation whatsoever to a garden gnome, Legolas stating in a snooty tone, that he was NOT a pretty boy, he just knew the importance of appearance, Aragorn and Boromir arguing with each other to the meaning of a "pom" and Gandalf grunting something about how he was not old, just well matured, like cheese) ; the story of the Fellowship's adventure so far spilled out with Gandalf doing all the talking and occasional butting in from the others when he got a fact wrong.
."So on the 12th day, after breakfast.." "Of scrambled eggs and bacon," Sam added quickly "Yes, whatever", said Gandalf. "Anyway, on the 12th day we decided we were well and truly lost. But then, with my superior sight, I spotted what turned out to be a road and saved us all!"
"Ahem! Excuse me!" said Legolas "You seem to have the facts wrong. I am the one with exceptional sight and it was ME that saw the road, you old *******!"
After a night of intense bickering between the fellowship with the exception of Sam, who promptly went to sleep, it was finally morning. All 4 hobbits had severe hangovers and every body else had bags under their eyes. Legolas used concealer on his. They stumbled down to breakfast, where they met Strider© for the last time, who was still struggling to get last nights facts right. "So. you are looking for a mountain. in a place called Mordor." "Yes! That's it!" cried Gandalf, who was trying very hard after last night to prove he was useful. "And its full of bad people, and..." "Well," said Strider, still thinking. The only tall thing around here, is Uluru." "That must be it!" said Gandalf firmly. "It's very confusing how everything has different names. I my self am called Gandalf, the Grey Pilgrim, Mithrandir, the Grey Fool. well, that ones not so much a name as it is an insult." Pippin, anticipating another of Gandalf's long and boring speeches, cut him off with a loud yawn, followed by a burp into Merry's face. "Oi!" protested Merry, and the two proceeded to have a burping competition.
After breakfast, Strider© wrote the directions to Uluru on the back of a drink coaster and handed them to Aragorn, afraid Gandalf would probably lose them if he gave them to him. "Well now, we must be going. Thank you Strider© for your helpfulness" said Gimli. "And that dirty face soap" he added in a sly undertone, grinning wickedly in Legolas's direction.
The fellowship set off up a dusty track, not sure how long it would take them, but determined to complete their quest all the same.