CHAPTER 2
Pippin sidled up to Merry as they were walking and the two of them started
exchanging all the free stuff they'd got at the hotel last night and
plotting wickedly.
"Hey Sam! Come over here for a sec will you?" asked Merry in an innocent
voice. Sam walked over to see what was up.
"Hey Sam, would you like to buy some souvenirs of our stay at the hotel
last night? Going cheap!"
"There's shower caps, soap, shampoo & conditioner 2 in 1, and even pens!"
added Pip.
"Oh wow! How cool!" exclaimed poor, gullible Sam. "I'll have one of
everything. Mr. Frodo will love these as a birthday present."
Eventually, the fellowship had to stop for the night, and set up camp somewhere out in the middle of no where. Unfortunately, it had been Gandalf that had been leading them all day, and Frodo & the others were quite sure they had taken at least 3 wrong turns. Gandalf though, was adamant that they were going in the right direction and wouldn't listen to a word the rest of the fellowship said.
After a long night, and lots of bad dreams and farting (all of the latter coming from one certain hobbit who will remain nameless) the fellowship awoke, and were led off by Gandalf in a direction which looked suspiciously like the way they had come yesterday. Finally, around Midday, they saw something on the horizon. "That must be Mount Doom", declared Gandalf in a knowing voice. "Looks just like it."
However, as the fellowship came closer, it turned out that it was not Mount Doom, but in fact a castle. HOGWARTS- school for witchcraft and wizardry proclaimed the sign above the enormous gate. "Great going Gandalf" said Boromir sarcastically, "What is this, your old school?" "No!" replied Gandalf hotly "never seen this place before in my life!" Actually Gandalf was a bit annoyed. He had thought there were only a few wizards on Middle Earth, but here was a school for them, so there must be hundreds. Then again, Gandalf reasoned, who knew if they were still in Middle Earth? No, he didn't need a school to be good at wizardry! These people were obviously frauds, no where near as good as him, just out to try and earn a living off magic tricks. And with that, all traces of jealously Gandalf felt towards these people vanished. "Let us move on!" Gandalf cried, "This place is of no good to us!"
And so the Fellowship walked on for days, having given up all sense of direction long ago. On the 43rd morning, or so Pippin reckoned it (though Pippin never was very good at counting, he liked to leave out any number that started or ended with a two,) they came across a plume of smoke in the distance, or so Legolas told them, for no one could see that far. "No, no, you've got it all wrong elf!" Proclaimed Gimli, "Its just a wisp of cloud, nothing to worry about." "Yeah!" added Merry, "It looks like a dragon shaped cloud to me!" Sam got very worried at the mention of dragons and thought they had definitely found their way to Mt. Doom this time. As they walked closer, they found that Legolas was right, it was actually a great plume of smoke they saw. The hobbits cast themselves down in fear, for they believed it to be the smoke of Mount Doom. "Get Up! Get Up you foolish hobbits!" Cried Gandalf. "We must walk towards our foe with dignity to the very end" He stuck his nose up in the air, and as a consequence, didn't see the rock he tripped over.
Bravely the Fellowship walked on, feeling sure they were marching towards certain death, when a girl came out from behind a tree and laughed at them. "Hee hee! You people look a little lost! Where are you heading wearing those clothes? A fancy dress party?" "Be silent!" Commanded Gandalf to the Fellowship. "The enemy has many spies. State your business girl, for we are in a hurry." "You speak funny too," commented the girl. "it's as if you're from another time. Hang on! I know who you are! You're Gandalf, and you're Aragorn, and Legolas, Gimli, Boromir, Pippin, Sam, Merry and of course Frodo." The fellowship stared dumbly at her. "I'm a Lord of the Rings fanatic", she explained almost apologetically, but with a smile. "Come on, I'll show you some stuff in my collection!" She turned and started walking quickly in the other direction. The fellowship looked at each other and jogged to catch up with her. "So, er, what was that smoke over there?" asked Gandalf trying to be casual. "Oh, that's just the factories, I do live in Mount Isa you know." "Mt. Isa, not Mount. Doom?" The girl laughed. "I certainly hope not!"
Presently she lead them to a cottage and stepping inside lead them to a small room. To everyone's amazement plastered on the walls were pictures of them! "What is the meaning of this!" Cried Gandalf "What new devilry has the enemy dreamed up? Spies taking pictures of us?" "No, no, this is my Lord of the Rings shrine", the girl explained. "Anything Lord of the Rings related is in this room. See my novels, posters, postcards, trading cards, lunch box, folder, figurines, light up sword." She trailed off as she realised the Fellowship were staring dumbly at the figurines of themselves. "That.That's me!" cried Sam incredulously "That looks NOTHING like me" stated Legolas. "I do NOT have arms as long as an orangutan, and my mouth isn't that wide, I would NEVER let my fingernails grow that long!" Gimli had a glance at Legolas's figurine, then looked at Legolas. "Looks just like you if you ask me." He said cheekily.
Gandalf, however, was more interested in the novels. "What are these?" he asked the girl "They are the story of your quest" replied the girl. The room was silent. "You know, well, I spose you don't know. Look, take these books and read them, and then hopefully you'll be able to find your way back to Middle Earth. It's all in there" And with that the girl ushered them out of the house and back onto the road. Everybody thanked her as well as they could but she just smiled and told them not to worry.
With that the Fellowship went on, not entirely positive what these books were or what they were for, but more determined than ever to finish the quest. As they walked out of Mt. Isa, Boromir was shot by a stray arrow from the archery club down the road and Merry & Pippin were taken by a couple of orcs that had appeared from no where. Frodo felt the need to be by himself for a while so he and Sam took a different direction, and Gandalf, well, he was long gone. And so the story ended just as it had in the original, except for the fact that they were still in Australia. All's well that ends well.
The End! Well, maybe not. If you liked it (or even if you didn't) PLEASE review, and who knows, if people like it, maybe I'll write more!
(If you are reading this, please review!!!!!!) I'll reply to all reviewers :o)
Eventually, the fellowship had to stop for the night, and set up camp somewhere out in the middle of no where. Unfortunately, it had been Gandalf that had been leading them all day, and Frodo & the others were quite sure they had taken at least 3 wrong turns. Gandalf though, was adamant that they were going in the right direction and wouldn't listen to a word the rest of the fellowship said.
After a long night, and lots of bad dreams and farting (all of the latter coming from one certain hobbit who will remain nameless) the fellowship awoke, and were led off by Gandalf in a direction which looked suspiciously like the way they had come yesterday. Finally, around Midday, they saw something on the horizon. "That must be Mount Doom", declared Gandalf in a knowing voice. "Looks just like it."
However, as the fellowship came closer, it turned out that it was not Mount Doom, but in fact a castle. HOGWARTS- school for witchcraft and wizardry proclaimed the sign above the enormous gate. "Great going Gandalf" said Boromir sarcastically, "What is this, your old school?" "No!" replied Gandalf hotly "never seen this place before in my life!" Actually Gandalf was a bit annoyed. He had thought there were only a few wizards on Middle Earth, but here was a school for them, so there must be hundreds. Then again, Gandalf reasoned, who knew if they were still in Middle Earth? No, he didn't need a school to be good at wizardry! These people were obviously frauds, no where near as good as him, just out to try and earn a living off magic tricks. And with that, all traces of jealously Gandalf felt towards these people vanished. "Let us move on!" Gandalf cried, "This place is of no good to us!"
And so the Fellowship walked on for days, having given up all sense of direction long ago. On the 43rd morning, or so Pippin reckoned it (though Pippin never was very good at counting, he liked to leave out any number that started or ended with a two,) they came across a plume of smoke in the distance, or so Legolas told them, for no one could see that far. "No, no, you've got it all wrong elf!" Proclaimed Gimli, "Its just a wisp of cloud, nothing to worry about." "Yeah!" added Merry, "It looks like a dragon shaped cloud to me!" Sam got very worried at the mention of dragons and thought they had definitely found their way to Mt. Doom this time. As they walked closer, they found that Legolas was right, it was actually a great plume of smoke they saw. The hobbits cast themselves down in fear, for they believed it to be the smoke of Mount Doom. "Get Up! Get Up you foolish hobbits!" Cried Gandalf. "We must walk towards our foe with dignity to the very end" He stuck his nose up in the air, and as a consequence, didn't see the rock he tripped over.
Bravely the Fellowship walked on, feeling sure they were marching towards certain death, when a girl came out from behind a tree and laughed at them. "Hee hee! You people look a little lost! Where are you heading wearing those clothes? A fancy dress party?" "Be silent!" Commanded Gandalf to the Fellowship. "The enemy has many spies. State your business girl, for we are in a hurry." "You speak funny too," commented the girl. "it's as if you're from another time. Hang on! I know who you are! You're Gandalf, and you're Aragorn, and Legolas, Gimli, Boromir, Pippin, Sam, Merry and of course Frodo." The fellowship stared dumbly at her. "I'm a Lord of the Rings fanatic", she explained almost apologetically, but with a smile. "Come on, I'll show you some stuff in my collection!" She turned and started walking quickly in the other direction. The fellowship looked at each other and jogged to catch up with her. "So, er, what was that smoke over there?" asked Gandalf trying to be casual. "Oh, that's just the factories, I do live in Mount Isa you know." "Mt. Isa, not Mount. Doom?" The girl laughed. "I certainly hope not!"
Presently she lead them to a cottage and stepping inside lead them to a small room. To everyone's amazement plastered on the walls were pictures of them! "What is the meaning of this!" Cried Gandalf "What new devilry has the enemy dreamed up? Spies taking pictures of us?" "No, no, this is my Lord of the Rings shrine", the girl explained. "Anything Lord of the Rings related is in this room. See my novels, posters, postcards, trading cards, lunch box, folder, figurines, light up sword." She trailed off as she realised the Fellowship were staring dumbly at the figurines of themselves. "That.That's me!" cried Sam incredulously "That looks NOTHING like me" stated Legolas. "I do NOT have arms as long as an orangutan, and my mouth isn't that wide, I would NEVER let my fingernails grow that long!" Gimli had a glance at Legolas's figurine, then looked at Legolas. "Looks just like you if you ask me." He said cheekily.
Gandalf, however, was more interested in the novels. "What are these?" he asked the girl "They are the story of your quest" replied the girl. The room was silent. "You know, well, I spose you don't know. Look, take these books and read them, and then hopefully you'll be able to find your way back to Middle Earth. It's all in there" And with that the girl ushered them out of the house and back onto the road. Everybody thanked her as well as they could but she just smiled and told them not to worry.
With that the Fellowship went on, not entirely positive what these books were or what they were for, but more determined than ever to finish the quest. As they walked out of Mt. Isa, Boromir was shot by a stray arrow from the archery club down the road and Merry & Pippin were taken by a couple of orcs that had appeared from no where. Frodo felt the need to be by himself for a while so he and Sam took a different direction, and Gandalf, well, he was long gone. And so the story ended just as it had in the original, except for the fact that they were still in Australia. All's well that ends well.
The End! Well, maybe not. If you liked it (or even if you didn't) PLEASE review, and who knows, if people like it, maybe I'll write more!
(If you are reading this, please review!!!!!!) I'll reply to all reviewers :o)