Cruel: Heart and Soul Chapter 9, a harry potter fanfic

Chapter 9

Journal's Log

Life seems strange all of a sudden. I find myself thrown in a confusing all to real state…the bad thing is, I can't get out of it.

Yes, I have finally found Virginia. I planned to talk to her privately, but her brothers, all of them to be exact, were home. What was I supposed to do? Just leave the house after all that trouble. No, I figured that I'd request her to tell her brothers to leave us alone for a while. It didn't take that long, just an hour was needed to tell her of my plans, both plans actually. I informed her that I needed to do some business with her, regarding the Muggle Activities Department. Then, of course, she had said she wanted to know both reasons, I told her that it was boring back home without her. It was typical of her to choose to ignore the second reason.

But, in the end, she couldn't refuse the business proposition because it would look bad on her. Along with that, her parents came, and they too were surprised to see me in their humble little home. Molly and Arthur Weasley, such amusing and delightful parents. Arthur agreed to let me take Virginia out the next week, provided that we stick to some rules.

As I look at the family, I have this rather queer feeling brewing up inside of me. Maybe its because I realized that I never really had a family like this one. Sure, I have a Mother, and I'm proud of her, but what about siblings? I certainly don't have any…I don't have a Father that I could look up to either. If you would compare Lucius and Arthur, you would see how far apart they are. My Father…the bastard! Disappeared during the war, I don't bloody care where he is. All I know is that he just left my mother and me in a time of crisis! He is a Deatheater; a follower of Voldemort…evil scum…Lucius was almost like the devil. Always plotting, always scheming of something new, but then, isn't that where I got my cleverness, my being so slippery and smooth? Shouldn't I at least be thankful? It's kind of hard to thank someone that has been cruel to you both physically and emotionally.

Arthur Weasley…a respectable man. He cares for his family, supports them whole-heartedly, very responsible…someone who isn't my father. The Weasleys are very lucky to have a father who could do anything and everything for them.

…

Why couldn't I have led a different life? With a father who would have been there for me? Instead of that bastard! Maybe who I am now, would have been different if I was brought up in a completely different way. Maybe I wouldn't have been hated by some people, and instead be loved be some. Why did I have to be born into such a world? Could I have been born simple and honest? Could my parents be someone else?

No.

I am what I am and I'll be who I am until I die. Nothing can change that. My Father and Mother, I am grateful for you bringing me into this world. My Father, for providing me with all the material possessions you thought that would make me happy…thank you. My ever-beloved Mother, I thank you for imparting me with all that you have, caring for me in my darkest moments, I owe everything to you.

…

The Weasley Family, I can hear them bustling in the kitchen. I sense that Mrs. Weasley is done cooking the meal. Oh, didn't I mention earlier that I was staying with them? No? Well, it's like this, when Mr. and Mrs. Weasley came in, we had a chat, after which they left and Virginia and I had a talk again, and I guess I was feeling kind of lightheaded and she took it as a sign that I was sick. She laid her hand on my forehead and announced that it didn't feel like a fever. Mrs. Weasley came in and noticed my condition too, and repeated the same thing her daughter did. She quickly told her husband the news and he set off to unfold the bed in the Living Room.

I am in the Living Room, watching with tired eyes the way Mr. Weasley went about fixing the made-up bed. It was around fifteen minutes later that he was done and gone back into the kitchen.

…

She's coming; I better wrap this up if I don't want her asking any questions to what I am doing. I promise I'll try to get back to you later. Ah, here she is. I must go now…

* * *

"Dinner's ready," she announced as she looked down at him. "Can you stand up without me helping you?" she narrowed her eyes at him, judging his appearance.

"You don't need to worry about me," he stood up slowly, standing straight for her to see.

"Alright then," she shrugged and leaded the way into the kitchen. She gestured for him to take the empty seat beside her before taking her own seat.

Everyone was quite silent for a while, till Molly made the first move to ask Bill to pass her the pitcher of water. Everyone took their cue to start their routine. They all started talking at the same time, about everything else except Draco's condition.

"So, Draco, I'm guessing that you don't have extra clothes with you?" Arthur asked him. "I could lend you some of mine, if it would fit you,"

"Oh, no sir, I'll sleep in my own clothes," Draco replied as he spooned some mashed potatoes into his mouth. "But thank you for the offer."

"Nonsense!" Molly declared. "I wont allow you to sleep in your sickly clothes! You can borrow Arthur's clothes…" She looked at him purposely.

"Actually, Mum, I can lend him, my clothes, I'm sure it would fit him," Bill spoke up. "We're almost the same size, its kind of rare that you would have that build," he added.

Draco smiled wryly. "It's called 'work',"

Everyone laughed.

"Why, Percy works a lot but he doesn't have your body!" Fred pointed at Percy.

Percy glared at Fred. "Maybe he means a different kind of work. All I do is sit in the office reading papers and signing them," he sighed.

"What kind of work do you then?" Charlie turned to Draco, imploring him for an answer. "I know you do office work, but what else is there?"

"Oh you know, basically I work in the office, but some of the other workers are so unreliable that I have to do their work too, I have to run around a lot just to get things done!" he said, making running gestures with his hand.

"Percy's too lazy to run around, he totally depends on the others!" George laughed. He stared making faces at his non-too happy older brother. They all knew that Percy didn't like being teased, even if it was only a little.

"Draco, I don't mean to sound overbearing, but I think you looked much paler than before, are you eating right? Is there anything bothering you nowadays?" Molly stared upon his face, searching for an answer.

Draco gritted his teeth and tried to smile politely. "I'm eating alright, maybe its just my work, I haven't been able to get much rest especially now because of my new project."

"Well, I'm sure we can fix that!" she exclaimed. "We'll just have to stuff you with more of my delicious food and just give you some peace and quiet."

"I don't think you can find the last bit in this place," Charlie stared thoughtfully up at the ceiling. "Especially with these four yakking all night," he pointed at Ginny, Ron, Fred and George. "All of you end up doing something loud before we all go to sleep and Mum will have to break all of you up."

"You're forgetting dear brother that we're not kids anymore!" Ginny told him. "Well, maybe its just the twins and Ron, but me!" she looked at all of them with big round eyes. "I an angel!"

Ron snorted with laughter. "Gin, I think you're the one who usually starts the things at night," he ruffled her hair affectionately.

"Hey!" she protested as she gaily ruffled her brother's hair too. Pretty soon both of them were playing over their dinner much to their parent's dismay.

"I'm sorry Draco, they tend to forget their age sometimes," Arthur apologized to their guest. "They haven't changed much, thank Merlin that Bill and Charlie are still sane…" he sighed as he speared his carrots and popped them into his mouth.

"I think you better look again, sir," Draco pointed at the eldest Weasley brothers who were talking boisterously and flailing their arms around madly. "I think you'll have to rely on Percy for sanity," he took a gulp of water and stared back down at his plate. He mostly pushed his food around, making it look as if it was eaten.

Ginny noticed this and frowned. "No appetite? Do you want to rest now?" she asked him softly so that he was the only one he could hear.

He nodded his agreement and let her do the talking. He vaguely heard her voice, telling her parents that she wished to be excused so she could attend to his needs. She helped him up and he gave them a small grateful smile as he continued his way out by Virginia's support. She asked him if he wanted to use the bathroom. He shook his head, unfortunately he wasn't in his right mind to actually freshen up before sleeping, he just wanted to collapse on the bed and have a night's rest.

Ginny sighed and led him to the make-up bed. She certainly hoped that Draco would settle for something inferior to his own bed. But then, the minute Draco landed upon the cushions, not a single word of incrimination was uttered.

"Are you sure you're alright?" she bent down to look into his face. He's asleep. She gazed upon his face wonderingly, amazed at how angelic and peaceful he looked when sleeping. He should be asleep more often than a wake so that he wouldn't cause any trouble. Ginny smiled to herself. A lock of stray hair got her attention, it was right on Draco's closed eyes. She carefully, almost lovingly tucked the stray hair back into place with the others. She sat back and rested her head in her hands and looked at him. It seemed like eternity before she snapped out of her trance only to scold herself.

What's wrong with you girl? This is the man that caused you pain and yet you care for him like…like…what? This shouldn't even be happening. He's only here for business…no…he did mention THAT other reason, which I did refuse to take up with him. Am I hoping? Hoping that he really likes me or what? Do I even like him? Am I telling the truth, am I being honest with myself? Do I have feelings for this man?

Memories of the few weeks that they met up in a long time came rushing back to her. When they bumped into each other on that fateful day in Diagon Alley, the way he kissed her on the same night, when he visited her the next day. And then, fights ensued between her and Seamus, not to mention Harry…oh Harry. It was painful to think that Harry was mad at her. Yes, there were times when Draco hurt her badly and caused immense pain to grow deep within her. But there were also times that he made her happy. She discovered that he did have two sides. He made her laugh, he amused her and she couldn't forget one thing: his kisses. She didn't know why, but whenever he kissed her, all her troubles seemed to just melt into the background. It was very different. A very new feeling. Draco has kissed her around three times or more, all very exciting and different.

Now as she gazed upon him, she shook herself to get out of it. She stood up and made her way to the kitchen with slow steps, she paused by the opening, looking over her shoulder at his sleeping figure.

Ron narrowed his eyes as he watched his younger sibling pause by the door. Bloody hell! What is this? I swear if she's under some hex that Malfoy put on her, I'll do more than kill him!

Charlie seemed to notice Ron's stiff figure, he could hardly see Ron's eyes anymore! "Ron. Just to tell you, I can't see your eyes anymore, do you have a rash or something?"

Ron didn't seem to hear; he was still glaring at his sister in a non-too happy way.

Bill turned to Ron thoughtfully and reached across the table to poke him with his fork. "Hey! Wake up!" His brother didn't seem to budge. Bill sighed. "Fine then, I guess you don't want the dessert that Mum is putting on you plate right now,"

Molly was serving them with dessert and had saved one helping for Draco in the refrigerator. "Eat up Ron."

Ron snapped out of it finally, looking down at his plate and began wolfing it down like there was no tomorrow, but still, he glared at Ginny as she sat down in her place. "You're acting strangely nowadays," he told her.

Ginny sighed. She seemed to be doing a lot of sighing now lately. "Ron, its nothing, I'm just tired that's all." She got a spoon and started poking at her dessert.

"How come I don't quite believe you?" he stared at her. "You're not yourself."

Fred and George looked at each other. They were thinking that they better finish their desserts fast before something starts cooking between the two. Within a few seconds they were done and zoomed out of the kitchen after brining their dished to the sink.

"Well, that was fast," Arthur commented as he stood up too to bring his used utensils to the kitchen to start cleaning things up. "You boys better bring your dishes here too," he winked at Bill, Charlie and Percy.

"Oh right!" Percy excused himself and proceeded to the sink to help his father.

"Do you want to be here when it happens?" Bill whispered to Charlie. "I don't, so I'm going to run like mad for my room!"

"Lucky you, I'm going to be working some more like Percy down here, I guess I'll be having one of those migraines tomorrow, I just hope Draco doesn't get disturbed, poor chap!" Charlie responded as he finished off the last spoon of his dessert and followed Bill to the sink. Only Molly, Ron and Ginny were left in the table. Molly figured that she better keep and eye on the two if anything violent happened, but then again, something violent always happens in this house.

"Ron, can you just leave it alone, you're starting to bug me!" Ginny hissed as she tried to eat her dessert in peace. "Besides, you've got cream on the side of your face,"

Ron frowned as he reached up a hand to the side of his face to feel froth there. "Bugger," he muttered under his breath.

"I heard that young man, I don't want you two bickering in this house, after all, you're adults now, I expect better behavior from you two, besides, we have a guest in the next room who might be sick." She gestured to the Living Room.

"Sick my ass!" Ron stabbed at the bottom of his bowl and pushed back his chair and left the Dining Room.

Ginny stuck her tongue out at him as he left. Honestly, why was he getting on her business? Maybe it's just because of Malfoy being in the house. Or does he think that there's something between us? Oh no! Ron can't find out why I'm here, he can't know that I'm running away or trying to avoid the man in the other room. But what's the use, Draco's already here, I might as well go back to work next week after the business outing.

* * *

` Next day,

Draco woke up to the sound of people's footsteps charging down the stairs. Is there a fire? What the hell is going in here? He lifted his head and squinted to see what was causing the racket. Nothing was happening at the moment but the footsteps have all resided and now it was replaced by loud talking. He groaned and buried his face into the pillow. HE tired to shut out all the sounds to return back to sleep, but it was useless. There was no use in trying to get back to sleep, he roused himself from his groggy state and sat up.

"Hey! You better use the bathroom ahead of everyone else or you'll be sorry!" Arthur stopped beside his bed. "Since you weren't able to use Bill's clothes last night, he had provided you with another pair in the bathroom, I just hope you accept them, because Bill's choice in clothes is far too casual for my type or yours." Arthur added. "You'll find the bathroom near the stairs," with that, Arthur left him.

Draco got up and trudged towards the bathroom and go into the bath. It was well around 15 minutes when he heard someone pounding on the door for him to get out. He was already done anyway, he just needed to dry up and put some clothes on. Still the consistent pounding continued which was annoying him inevitably. He put a towel around his waist and flung the door open. "Yes!"
Ginny stared at him, a blush creeping up her face as she stood in the doorway. "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that you were Ron or someone else…I'm sorry!" she ran away into the next room.

Draco smirked and closed the bathroom door and proceeded to change. Ah, I have a feeling this is going to be a fine morning. Then he checked his appearance in the mirror and shrugged. It will have to do for now. He had to admit, he looked good in Bill's clothes. He looked like a normal person! He stepped out of the bathroom and made his way into the kitchen and found the whole family waiting for him.

            Bill let out a whistle and applauded as Draco sat down beside Ginny. "I must say that you look rather astonishing! Well what do you expect? With his looks and my clothes, I can make a movie star out this guy!"

            "You look like a normal person, not like you're usually self…" Fred commented.

            "He means that you don't look like the rich spoiled kid who always got what he wanted and bullied people around..!" George abruptly stopped as he saw Molly giving him that look. "No offense, alright?"

            Draco smiled and shook his head. Draco was wearing a black sleeveless vest on top of a white shirt with a cargo shorts, he had to borrow Bill's socks and slip in sandals. "Nothing taken, I was rather amazed myself when I saw myself in the mirror." He leaned back in his seat comfortably and crossed his arms over his chest. "Well, I must say that I have to be going after breakfast, I have some more urgent matters to attend to."

            "You think you can take Ginny along with you? She does have to get back to work also," Molly chirped, then she looked at Ginny meaningfully. "You can always come back through the Floo Network." She added. "You are connected, aren't you dear?"

            "Yes Mum" Ginny answered gloomily. She didn't want to go back to work, especially since Draco was going to be hanging around with her. Who knows what might happen to her? And of course, there is that business date next Saturday. She couldn't weasel her way out of this one; her father would disagree and would probably give her a lecture about work or something.

            Precisely after breakfast, Draco and Ginny were standing in front of the fireplace and said their goodbyes to the others. They both agreed to go to the Ministry of Magic right away. Actually, it was Ginny's idea to go to the Ministry, on the count of that she didn't want Malfoy in her house, having him in her house was too much, who knows what havoc he might cause again? Tossing in the floo powder, she said the location and stepped in, followed by Draco shortly.

            Upon arriving in the Ministry,

            Ginny turned on her heel and attempted to get away from Draco. She so badly wanted to get to her office and lock herself in there. She didn't get a few feet away when Draco halted her. "What?" she said sourly as she stopped, not turning to look back at him. "I have a lot of things to do today." She could feel a vein twitching in her forehead.

            "Don't you think you should report in first? After all, they don't know if you've returned or not. You got a leave of absence without specifying the precise date." Draco caught up to her. "Besides, we need to talk some more," he whispered into her ear.

            She frowned and shuddered. "Whatever you're planning, I'm not falling for it. " with that, she continued her way to the main office to report that she would be in her office if they needed her. Draco was walking beside her, matching her equal deliberate strides. Who would ever think that Draco would be after Virginia Weasley?

            "Please do not follow me into the office." She said crisply as they neared her door.

            "We need to talk." He said simply. "You can't dent me entrance because it's rude."

            Ginny tapped her foot impatiently. "You just want to talk about nonsense which I don't have time for." Then she put her hand on the doorknob and was about to turn it when Draco said something, which stopped her in her tracks.

            "What if I want to talk about business, I already told you about the estate, and besides, if you don't let me in, I can report you, and you don't want that to happen." Draco smiled lazily. "Ah, I can just see it now," he looked far off into the distance as if seeing an invisible scene. "Virginia Weasley, gets demerits for refusing help a business associate." He started shaking his head sadly. "And if it does go on, you'll eventually get fired."

            "You wouldn't dare!" she nearly screamed at him. She could feel her temperature rising to hundred degrees.

            "Hush Virginia, temper, temper," he cajoled her. "If you keep it up, maybe I'm not going to be the one to report you, these other people here would," he gestured at the people who were walking up and down the corridor.

            "Fine, whatever!" she hissed and pushed the door open. "Just don't do anything that would damage me permanently."

            "Whatever you say Virginia," he followed her in and closed the door behind him.

            "Good Morning!" Harry turned the chair so that he would be facing the owner of the office. "I could hear you and Malfoy talking outside," he gestured for Ginny to sit down in front of the table. "Oh, forgive me for sitting in your chair, but I've got urgent news for you." Harry smiled at her as she sat down.

            What's Harry doing here? Is he still mad and wants to get revenge? Or has he forgiven me? There's something weird going on around here! "Er, what is it Harry?" she said nervously.

            "Ginny, well, two things, business and personal matters. I guess I'll just have to let the business go later because this is more important." Harry sighed and leaned forward in his chair, putting his hands on the table. "I just want to say, well, I'm sorry," he reached over across the able to grip her hands gently.

            Ginny blushed. So, he has forgiven me? Since when? How long has he been waiting for me to come back from home? Did he even know I was back at home at The Burrow?

            "Well, I've been a real jerk the last time, I didn't give you a chance to explain or anything, I guess I was just too mad to listen to reason…" he trailed off. He was caressing her hands now, and was silent for a while, then with a low voice he said, "Maybe it's because I'm jealous of Malfoy."

            Ginny gasped. She didn't know if Draco heard it or not, but she was shocked beyond her mind could comprehend! Harry is jealous of Draco? But why? There isn't anything between us. Or maybe Harry feels he's losing me…She turned back to look at Malfoy. "I'm sorry, but you'll have to leave for a while, "

            He shrugged and left the vicinity. He had no intentions of leaving the building; he'd just have to wait for her.

            "Harry, listen, I don't see any reason why you have to be jealous, there is completely nothing between Malfoy and I. If you're scared that you might be losing me, don't be, because no matter what I'll always be here for you, you know that, don't you?" she looked into his eyes, confused and uncertain.

            "I know that you'll never leave or anything, but when I saw Malfoy kissing you, something inside me snapped, I don't know what it was but, I just can't live with the fact it brought back some memories, memories that should have never happened."

            Ginny swallowed the lump in her throat. Harry was remembering that time when he almost raped her. Why among all things would he bring that up? "Harry, I don't understand…"
            Harry let out a laugh, no humor whatsoever. "I don't understand it myself either!" he ran a hand through his hair. "That time, I felt absolutely powerless, I couldn't control myself. Ginny, I know that you had a crush on me before, and when I married Cho, I know I broke your heart, but listen to me. I didn't want to be in that kind of relationship with you because I thought I wasn't the one who would make you happy, I wasn't the one for you. I just wanted to be good friends, maybe it was that, but there's this feeling inside of me, denying that fact."
            "What's the fact, Harry?" Ginny touched the side of his face gently. She felt like crying. She's done so much crying to last her a lifetime already! Now, she was hearing Harry's side of the story, she was finally getting an explanation for it all.

            Harry touched her hand and brought it to his lips for a kiss. "Deep inside, I wanted you, but I knew it just wasn't meant to be, that's why I never acknowledged that feeling you had for me. Why was I stopping myself? I don't know why. I can't explain. Don't ask me to!" he sighed deeply. "What does it all add up to? About me being jealous? I realized that, after all these years, even after Cho's death, I would never be happy again. And then when you came into the house the day when I hurt you," Harry's voice cracked.

            Ginny stood up and hurried to his side and put her arms around him. "Shhh, it's alright. I already forgave you for that."

            "I'm jealous that Malfoy will just take you, I can't let that happen, I would never forgive myself! Ginny, you're all that matters to me. I can't afford to lose you again. I made the mistake of not loving you before, I'm not going to make that mistake again, not ever." Harry was shaking in her hold now, his face buried into her belly. His breathing was labored and hot against her clothes.

            Ginny didn't know what to do. All the problems were arising now, hurting her badly. Life really was cruel. All the pain caused to the heart and soul. She didn't know what to tell Harry, she wasn't even sure about Seamus anymore. If Harry did make that ultimate decision to love her now, it would cause a lot of conflict. She was unsure of was Draco was really up to, and now Harry?

            "Harry, I really don't know what to do, I'm sorry, I'm really troubled right now, please don't make me answer."

            Harry nodded. "Don't do anything that you'll regret later on."

            *                                                           *                                                           *

            Draco leaned against the wall adjacent to Ginny's office. So, Potter wants to play. He's got guts to be messing around with me. He doesn't know who his competition is. It would be easy to eliminate the runt, all I have to do is research some more and use the simple facts to my extent, that way, and I won't be telling a lie. After all, Potter did say some useful things that I can use for further turmoil…