The Rediscovering of Past and the End of the Future
By Soul_will_be_Dust
Author's Notes: I tend to think of Middle-Earth as the past of the History of Britain, the leaving the elves took away our memories of it. No record is left, may be are destroyed. But Eru, the Almighty One must have planned a better ending of the World than just to let it dwindle into a mere 21st century, full of teenage scandals and folly. So this is what I guess will happen when the End is to arrive. In fact, Eru simply told me that this is going to be it…
Disclaimer: I don't own ANY character, place, idea etc that you recognise from LOTR, they belong to the immortal JRR Tolkien. Any that you don't recognise, however, are MINE!!!! Please Review!
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Chapter One: The Start of all Endings
"Merian? " a teenaged girl popped her head round the door. "Can I talk to you? " She gazed at the woman on the chair anxiously.
"Mm? Not now darling. You now how I shouldn't talk when I'm having my face made-up dear." The cream covered woman muttered lazily, readjusting a piece of cucumber on her eye.
The girl seems to be expecting this, but plunged on anyway. "But Merian, this is important! It is a dream that seems too real to be a dream!" She ended with a shudder, as if the earth is shaking underneath her feet.
Merian Vanora sighed heavily and replied: "Yes dear. I know. But come back in an hour and I'll be ready. I'm pretty sure that nothing can be more important than getting rid of you wrinkles honey. Now off you hop, I really mustn't talk any more!"
Haven hesitated. She knows Merian. Nothing can move her from her daily facial care. But there might just be one…small…thing. Dare she do it? Is it worth it? I think it is worth it. Haven hoped.
"Mother..." she whispered, hoping that she sounded much more confident about this than she is.
The slender figure on the chair stiffened. Merian peeled off her cucumbers and gazed into her daughter's eyes. Haven shivered at the light within it. There was a cold and controlled fury that she has never ever before encountered.
"I…I'm sorry…I don't mean to…."
"Haven." The voice seems strained. "Haven, you know that I hate been called it. You might not know why, but you will do when I think you are ready. Yet still you should know better then to use it."
"Sorry Merian. It is just that I really needed to talk to you." she mumbled, not daring to look at her mother.
"Fine, go ahead then. Since I've already talked too much." Merian got up from her chair and started to wash her beloved face.
"Well, I…I sort of had a dream just then. It was really confusing. Erm…weird. I was in our woods. It was a really beautiful night. Loads of silver stars, and the moon was shining as well. There were those…people, who looked…unearthly. They looked really sad; most of them are gazing out to the sea. Their expression was that of…of longing…of heart-breaking sadness…I don't know how to explain this…" Haven broke off, struggling to find the right words to explain her bizarre dream.
"A nightmare? Poor puppet. Don't worry about it too much. It'll mess up your skin." Merian doesn't seem to be concerned at all.
"No, no. Not a nightmare at all!" Haven hastily protested, and waved one hand in the air vaguely to add emphasis. "It was too sad and beautiful to be a nightmare. Those people were singing, singing words that I don't understand. There was a hazy mist around them. One of them, a tall boy with long straight golden hair that swayed in the breeze, he stood out and said to me: 'Is this your final choice? If it is, then you'll have to leave now. Are you sure that you wish rather to forget? Forget all who cared about you? Forget your family and friends?' he pointed at the crowd behind him, then: 'Forget me?' In my dream, without knowing what I was doing, I replied 'yes'. And he wept, but turned and walked away. Then I felt this dazzling light on the back of my neck, and there was this voice, said in a whisper ever so gently, and ever so softly to me: 'Child, walk away now. A whole New World lies in front of you, endless possibilities. Think of the best. You won't forget completely, no one can do that. The truth of your life lies deep in your heart, buried in a remote corner, somewhere deep in your mind. Unless your fate says otherwise, it will never ever surface, though glimpses may show themselves in your dream. You'll always be slightly different from others in that world. Just ever so slightly. Thus is your nature, even I cannot change that. Estel will always be right there, trying to find you. That was his choice. Don't turn away from him, don't abandon him.' And them there was another dazzling light in front of me, and I woke up." She ended with a slight sigh.
A pearly tear silently slid down her cheek as the remembrance comes back in full blast of its sadness, her mother observed all this, listened to her narration with a slightly alarmed and strained expression on her face, maybe it is akin to love of a daughter who is astray.
"My love." Merian said with a certain strain in her expressionless voice. "My dear girl. I think you are reading too much fantasy novels. If you come up with any more disturbing dreams like this again, I'll have to ban you from reading those useless books."
"Merian, I'm telling you, it is too real to be a dream! And it has nothing to do with the books I read! Anyway they are Daddy's books; Daddy gave them to me when you abandoned him! So you have no right to chuck them out. You leave our books alone." Haven shouted through her silent tears.
Merian, full of cold fury and rage at the mention of her ex-husband, slaps Haven across the face. "How dare you mention him to me. You are young, you are only 14, and you understood nothing, and understands nothing! Those books whirled him away. I never abandoned him! Those books crazed his moronic mind, and now it is messing with yours! Now go and get that dream out of your head before breakfast or else I'm chucking your books out! You hear me!"
Haven dumbstruck with anger against her mother, and in protection of her Daddy yelled: "It was never any use talking to you about anything! You don't understand anything; you don't understand me, you don't know me, us. You never cared about me as Daddy did! You don't! You don't!" and with this, she ran out of the room and into the woods to find her peace of mind.
"No! Come back! Honey, don't! I didn't mean to hurt you! Honey, please come back!" Merian shouted after Haven when she realised what she had said and done. She sat back into her chair as she sees her daughter disappear into the woods, and puts her face into her hands: "Oh…not again…this job is hard to deal with. They roused her mind much sooner than how we thought it would be. Stupid books."
*
A skylark sang in the crystal clear sky. Yellow and white daisies still lingered, a remnant of Summer and Spring. Golden leaves floated down onto the grassy slope from their beloved homes, abandoning their mother tree, to seek the adventures on the ground. Everything was of a perfect harmony, tinted only by the rising sun. The Autumn dawn found a girl laid there, silently weeping into the grass. Her hair was beautifully straight, and wondrously dark, as dark as the Mid-winter night. A single Silver Star studded against the darkness of her hair, making a more than desirable contrast of light and dark.
"You don't care…you don't care…" she sobbed to the grass. "You don't understand. You never loved me like Daddy. You don't even let me call you mother! Let alone Mum, or Mummy."
And thus, she continued her weeps of sorrow for some time, until gradually she calmed down. Haven Evans sat up suddenly, with her face still stained by tears. Her eyes searched into the horizon.
"Do you hear that music?" She whispered softly to no one in particular, and strained her ears to hear more of that unearthly music, but it faded, like all beautiful things, into the distance far away.
"Doesn't it rings a bell in your head?" Haven murmured to herself. It was something melancholy, and strangely familiar. She tugged at the thin air trying to recover it, in vain. "Come back, please?" tears came back to her eyes, slid down her cheeks along the old tracks. And suddenly, there was this voice, a sad, strained voice:
"Why all these sorrow little one? Why all the tears? Are you not happy?"
Not daring to look, Haven said with a trembling voice: "Who…who are you?"
"Won't you even look and see?" the voice asked, now full of emotion, of regret and memory.
Haven hesitated. The voice is familiar, but where did I know it? Haven thought to herself. Could it be him who was in my dream? Hardly daring to believe it, she turned around slowly. In front of her, stood a tall boy of her age. A tall boy with long straight golden hair that swayed in the breeze. His face is pale, and expressionless.
"Tell me who you are." Words came out of Haven's mouth, as if possessed by some other utter stranger. Haven stared in disbelieving shock.
He crouched down, and cupped her face with his large hand and looked into her eyes deeply, Haven's dark pupils mirrored in his blue ones.
"Do you not remember? Not even the faintest bit? I'm grieved. But then, you were put under a spell that I alone can undo, and now, the time has come at last for the undoing. I'm Estel, and I've been trying to find you for these last 16 years, waiting for you to recover your past. And now, I have achieved the near impossible. I, have found you, and drove away the spell that buried up your past memories. Promise me, never leave me again." Softly he said it, with the same passive face. But with a sudden flow of movement, he embrace her into his chest, enveloping her with a hazy mist. "Oh how I missed you, Telpëalph Finuial, and how glad am I to see you again."
Haven's eyes became opaque. Suddenly, a layer of thin mist started to seep out of her body, dancing, glistening, and wavering in the air. She blinked once, and again, and again, then she let out a long sigh.
"It is good to discover who you were, who you should be." Haven, yet not the Haven we knew, murmured softly. A tear slid down her pale cheek as she said: "But forgive me my dear friend. Forgive me for the pain and toil that I have given you by my choice of folly. Forgive me…"
"Don't cry, little one, there's nothing to forgive. Just don't break my heart any more, and your parent's. Well, maybe I shouldn't call you 'little one' any more, should I?" the boy asked her regretfully. "For in this new Age, I'm only 2 years older, aren't I?"
Hastily Haven wiped her face. "Yes, I guess so," she laughed at his regret. "It makes a change doesn't it? When we were together, in the gardens of the First Age, you were how much older? A hundred? Ninety? You always showed the old wise man expression whenever possible."
"A hundred? How could you disgrace me with that little time? I was five hundred and fifty nine years older than you were. Oh, and plus 3 months and 12 days, to be exact. Don't try to make yourself older, or make me younger!" Estel twitched his nose in that memory.
Haven looked at him in awe, "Lord! I never thought you were that old. I really can't believe that we are only teenagers in this new Age."
"Dear me. We were reborn, Finuial." He answered her bemusedly. "We both have to go to school in here. And remember one thing, only call me Estel when no one is around, my given name in this second birth is Dylan."
"Ah, such a foreign name. Haven at least is English, though uncommon." Haven teased her life long friend.
"Go away before you make me cry. It is Welsh for the Sea. I know," seeing Haven's surprise, he laughed: "My parents gave me a significant name. My mother was your mother's best friend. I'm surprised that you don't remember me, you spent the first 2 years of life playing with me everyday! But then, I knew nothing of our past life, so we were just two ordinary toddlers. I dare say that this town is not new to you."
"Yes." Looking at he bright horizon, Haven suddenly remembers the day when her dad told her that she is going to another place, with Merian. "I left all that I loved from this Age in my old home. 4 years ago Estel, or Dylan. My old woods, my old house. Our beautiful Malyrnwyn Manor. My father. I can recall the exact fields and streams. Clear streams that ran all the way into the Sea. We owned that piece of beach, or an inlet, as Daddy calls it. Oh how many silent nights have I spent, looking into the Sea, under the bright stars. Then, I never knew why I longed for the Sea and the Stars so much. Why does the Sea give me such a sadness as deep as one's marrow. But now I know."
"Yes. At that time, little Finuial would be mightily confused won't she? And who is this…'Daddy'?"
"Ah…he is my dad, but how should I call him now that I had remembered my past? He is not my dad, but he is like one, he is everything that is elvish, apart from the fact that he is mortal. I called him 'Daddy' for 14 years without flinching once. Now, when I say 'Daddy', I feel uncomfortable. It is too 21st century for us. Isn't it Estel?"
"Yes. Imagine what Lord Olwë would say if his heavenly daughter Finuial suddenly went to him and called him 'Daddy'. He would prefer 'Father', or 'My Lord' infinitely more."
Both of them laughed at the image which suddenly came into their minds, of Lord Elwë's disgusted face, etc, etc. Oh the sweet remembrance of the Ages past, the thousands of years that they had spent together.
"What about you Estel? Who are your present day parents?" Haven asked out of mild interest.
"I'm an orphan now Finuial…they passed away a few months ago. It is still a medical mystery as to how they died. But I know, Mandos must know that it is time for me to remember, and for me to find you. Just before they died, I was there, and they gave me 3 things to keep. One is a diary which they kept since my second birth; one is a note they found on me when...I descended out of the heaven to them. And another is a Jewel which came with Me." and he added wistfully: "They were very elvish, like your present father, may be. I love them very much."
"That is sad. A Jewel came with me as well, now I come to think of it. My Star. But nothing else. Merian didn't seem to want me to know about myself. Now I understood why it pains her to hear me call her Mother. "
"Finuial, there was another reason for Merian's silence as well. It is written in the Prophecy of Pity that you should only rediscover your past when you meet me. So it is in the pattern of life that you should not know, and I should know."
"Do you remember that day when we first met?"
"How could I forget it. That was the day when all the murders and Kinslaying was put out of my mind."
"Estel…"
"No, don't say it. I know you will say: 'It wasn't your fault.' But I feel the guilt; it goes with me every where. My kinsmen killed all your brothers save a baby, one by one with a cruel slash on their immortal body. How could I forget that day?"
"Estel…"
"I was there, Finuial. I saw everything. Although I was from the house of Finarfin, and didn't take part in the Kinslaying, I was still guilty."
Together, their minds flowed back to the day when they first met each other, in that bloody battle which spilled the first blood on the Blessed Realm of Aman:
Two elves walked along the slaughtered streets, identical, clearly brothers. Estel, tall, sleek, impossibly fair. His golden hair shined like Lady Galadriel, making a pleasant match with his alabaster complexion. The other, Naruin, though shorter, was stockier in built. His head is covered by a mop of silver hair, so light that one could almost say it's white, such a contrast to his dark tanned face. Such is the twain, trying to find a wounded elf to heal, but all are dead. Then, a girl cried. 'Twas a young girl in white, white robes, white sandals, even a white battle helmet. She was barely out of her childhood. She had Mid-winter night dark hair, pinned together with one single Silver Star; she crouched over some bodies, and was weeping with anguish. Beside her was a mighty silver horse, a horse hat is too big for her, and a bow painted white. She suddenly noticed the approach of the elves, and stood up and picked up her bow. She neatly fitted one snowy arrow to the string with all the smoothness of an expert archer; she pointed it to the taller of the twain, and shouted with her bell like voice, the voice of an angel:
"Don't you dare come near me! Don't you dare touch these elves either. You murdered them, my brothers, every one of them, even the child." She pointed at the bodies lying by her. "You are no elves. You are no Children of Iluvatar! You are monsters! Murderers! Demons of Melkor and the underworld!"
Each word was a stab to his already wounded heart. Estel was grieved to the soul, and tried to comfort her:
"I'm sorry little one. I'm sorry for everything that had happened. If I can undo history, I would. But, what had happened had happened, no one can undo it. I'm no murderer, nor he that is beside me. Our hand are clean, but our minds are stained by guilt. " He stepped nearer, and she backed away, with a face filled with fear and hatred, still stained by tears.
"You killed Maegkal my eldest brother, and Mithlomë my second brother, and Lalaith, who is barely a child, can't you see that he bore no armour? You broke my parent's hearts and mine. You are no kinsmen of the Teleri!"
By this, the fiery tempered Naruin was properly angered, he drew out his sword and before Estel can stop him, and slashed at the girl, again, a work of The Curse. But she was light footed and quick eyed, she saved herself, and was only hurt on the arm. He was relieved, he does not want to kill. And dropping his sword, he fell onto the floor, hiding his face in shame of having done such a thing. Estel tried to comfort her as best as he could. He approached her cautiously, seeing her face filled with terror. She did no move, but crouched onto the ground with pain. Estel placed a hand on her shoulder, she was only a child, and she does not know yet what really is hate, he was glad of that. He healed her hurt as best as he could, with his gifted arts of healing. After a while, she turned around and faced him with her tear stained face and whispered:
"They pained me so much. I was mad then, to yell at you so."
Estel was grieved to see such a gap between the Elven races, such a rage against Fëanor like never before filled his heart. And he loved her like a little sister since, and she had always then counted him her big brother. Of Naruin here's little to be said, she bore him no real love, save politeness, though he loved her as dearly as any man would love a woman…
"You know something Finuial, you would have been happy with him, had you accepted his hand that fall. He really does love you with all his heart, and he is such a good elf."
"Huh!" Haven snorted a this remark. "Him, good? I would no sooner call you a Man. Believe me Estel, I would have never been happy with him. The first memory of him that I have is he tried to kill me, and would have succeeded in doing so, had I not been agile. You might say that this is prejudice, but there is no place for him in my heart, there are no place for marriage in my heart. Not for any Elf."
"Then I see that you have chosen the life of Lúthien, and Arwen Evenstar." Estel said to himself, but Haven heard.
"I have not yet met a Man whom I could love as a lover, I was too young to know such things in this world, and no Elf has conquered my heart either in my real life. May be I'm born to be loveless." Haven replied half-heartedly.
"May be you are born to be loveless…" repeated Estel, with a barely recognisable sadness in his voice.
Then, the voice of a young boy, a mortal boy roused their minds, brought them to the present day. It was an untroubled voice, calling to Haven:
"Hey Havenie! "
Estel turned his head, and saw that running to them is a tall boy, about 15 or 16, built for speed and agility. He had masses of thick dark brown hair, so un-kept that it is like a bird's nest on his head. His face smooth, and would be pale had his cheeks not been flushed from running. He stopped abruptly on seeing Estel.
"Haven, who's this?" The boy gazed at Estel with his clear grey blue eyes. His deep strong voice tinted with a mild curiosity.
"Oh, Brandon! Back already?" Haven grinned at him, and Estel noticed a sudden change in her expression. A warm open happiness that she, he could safely say, never noticed, and he feared for her from then on.
"Badminton club was so boring! It's a good thing you didn't come, you won't believe how crap it was! There weren't even any one who's half decent!" Brandon snorted with disgust.
Haven grinned, but was stuck for words to explain Estel as she saw Brandon looking at him expectantly. She ended up just saying: "This is Dylan."
"Hello Brandon, I'm Haven's cousin, well, sort of. Our mothers are best friends, so we grew up together, but I moved away when she was two, catching up with her now to find that she doesn't remember me!" Estel quickly switched to teenage boy dialogues, and supplied Brandon readily with this interesting history.
"Diolch yn fawr, Nice to meet you Dylan, I'm Brandon Bergins, Haven's friend from King's High." Brandon thrust out his hand in an act of diplomatic meeting. Estel, though amused with his open warmness, shook his hands with all the seriousness of an Elf who has lived for thousands of years already.
"Diolch. I see that you are Welsh too. Well, nice meeting you, I came up from the Caders a few days ago, and I'm coming here to stay until, goodness knows when, till I go to University perhaps. I think I'm coming to King's High as well, so it would be very nice that I know at least two people already." Smoothly changing from his Elvish mind to the more modern one, Estel finds it very easy to mix with this boy from the modern era.
"The Caders? Not the famous Cadair Idris? Wow! I'm from the Brecon Beacons, actually we lived in Brecon village until my Da died, 'course, the Brecons were nothing compared to the Cadair. Anyway, we then moved here. I live just next door. You see? That big white house over there. We called it Nimloth, means white flower or something in Elvish. It's from a book me and Mam read called Lord of the Rings by some Tolkien guy, smashing book, fantastic movie as well, especially the score. He must be an amazing bloke, fancy conjuring up all those so realist myths just from no where! Have you read that book before?" Brandon seems more than ready to have a long conversation with a total stranger. But then, Estel is only 16 in this new age, and teenagers should theoretically find it extremely easy to mix with their peers.
Estel has turned his head sharply to look at the boy when he mentioned Elvish, now he said lightly: "No, I must say I have not. You will have to fill me in with the story."
"Oh, in that case, you should ask Haven to lend you the book, it's her who first got me started on fantasy novels. She's got at least 2 shelves full of books like that, and…" But Brandon had no time to finish what else he was trying to say, because at this moment Merian came into the field, shouting for Haven:
"Haven? Haven! You get in at once, we've got visitors coming now! Fancy Gwen, letting me know just at the last minutes. I guess it's just like her. Her brother Dylan's coming too, you remember Dylan? You used too…" and on reaching Haven, she goggled at Dylan, and her face broke into a warm loving smile:
"Dylan! How are you, my dear boy? Oh so typical of Gwen, coming so secretly, and you never fails to reach Haven before talking to anyone else."
"Aunt Merian! How lovely to see you, it must be, what, 10 years since I last saw you?" Estel, or Dylan beamed at her with all the sincerity there is in the world.
"Yes my dear dear boy. Oh and where is my darling Gwen and Alwyn? And my little Grandnephew Rhys?" Merian required after her Welsh Family.
"They should be in your house by now, I just came over here, because I spotted Haven!" Estel made an excuse for her to go away.
"Oh, in that case, I shall be hastening back. You two be back in half an hour, the latest!" And seeing Brandon, she added with a beam: "Brandon! Didn't see you there! That's not like you to be quiet! Here, you must get your mother and bring her to meet Gwen; she'll adore her! And then you and Haven can show Dylan around in the afternoon, of course you shall certainly have to have lunch at our place, I insist!" Merian seems to have forgotten her last argument with Haven, and is now overflowing with happiness at the sight of her Welsh relations, still babbling, she almost ran back towards the house.
"Well, I better get cracking then! Croeso Dylan! Mam will be well pleased to meet new people. And don't you two shift while I'm gone, I'll come back and find you in 10 minutes!" Brandon made a face at them, grinned and ran full-pelt back towards his house, jumping over hedges with all the ease and light of elves.
"Unusual boy." Was all Estel said about him.
Haven abused him of his stupidity: "Unusual? He is amazing! He's good at pretty much every thing! He's really musical, good at maths and science and so on! How can you say so little of him?"
"Because I'm still studying him. He is too open for my likeness, simple minded, as some wise Elders would have said." Estel replied with a blank smile that is quite uncharacteristic of him, and Haven, sensing dislike, dwelled on that matter no more.
The First Chapter. Do you like it? Review to tell me! Feel free to criticize ANY part that you don't like! By the way, I'd like to have a little competition between races in Middle Earth. So here are the Competition Questions:
Competition Questions:
a) Why doesn't Estel like Brandon? [10pt]
b) Why did Haven want to forsake her Elven identity at the first place? [20pt]
c) Does Merian know of Haven's past? If yes, How? [30pt]
Competition Scoreboard:
Elves: 0
Hobbits: 0
Man: 0
Dwarves: 0
Wizards: 0
Sauron and his creatures (include orcs, goblins, Nazgûls, Balrogs etc): 0
Please Review!!!
Soul_will_be_dust