DISCLAIMER: Cowboy Bebop property of Sunrise, Inc. Original story,
property of me.
AN: Most of these are from Julia's point of view, but somehow Spike ended up in this one…
Beyond Beautiful
By The Lady Razorsharp
Part 6: Flight of Dragons
If this life gets any harder now
It ain't, no, never mind
You got me by your side
And any time you want
Yeah, we can catch a train and
Find a better place…
--Aerosmith
Julia sat on the bed, watching Spike as he pulled clothes from the bureau. He tossed a pile of shirts on the bed, then folded them one after another. Julia's eyes followed the movements of his hands as his long fingers smoothed the worn fabrics.
"So you're leaving. Just like that."
He nodded, snapping the wrinkles out of a teeshirt. "Yeah. Just like that."
She closed her blue eyes for a moment, then picked out one of his shirts and buried her face in it. ~God, he smells so good.~ she thought, rubbing the fabric against her cheek. She felt a tug on the shirt, and looked up to see Spike pulling on the fabric, pulling it out of her hands. With a small sigh, Julia let him have the shirt.
"Why?"
Spike finished folding the shirt and dropped it into his suitcase. He stared at the small case with his hands on his slim hips; all his worldly possessions wouldn't even half-fill it by the time he was done. "I thought you weren't going to ask me that," he said softly.
Julia's fingers tightened on the bedspread. "I never promised you I wouldn't. I just was afraid to ask, before."
He turned back to the closet and dragged the last remaining shirt--a pale yellow one--off its wire hanger. The hanger pinged against its fellows as Spike pulled the shirt over his bare shoulders. "I'm dead to everyone here, Julia," he reminded her. "A ghost can't walk the streets of his home town."
Tears filled her eyes as he plucked his tie from the closet rod. "You're not dead to me. Isn't that what matters?"
Spike cupped her face in his hands, stroking her quivering chin with his thumbs. "Julia…it's better if I'm dead to you, too." He dropped his hands, turning toward her cheval mirror to knot his tie. He watched their reflection as Julia came up behind him. She slipped her arms around his waist and laid her head against his shoulder. ~Don't do that,~ he pleaded with her silently. ~If you hold on to me like that, I'll never leave you. You'll never be safe.~
"Please, Spike. You asked me to come with you, remember? I'll go anywhere with you." She looked up into his face as he turned around. It was only now, at such close range, that Julia could see the slight difference in the garnet irises.
"This isn't something I want you to see. There won't be a place for you where I'm going."
Her blue eyes narrowed dangerously. "I'll be the judge of that!"
Spike shook her once, hard. "Stop it, Julia!" He looked at her, seeing her anger melt into hurt. "I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you, but I've got no choice." He held her tight, stroking her golden hair.
"You're running away. I want to run away with you." She undid a few buttons on his shirt and slipped her hand inside, feeling how his muscles flexed under the smooth skin. "Just the two of us, together."
Desire sank its fangs into him, and Spike's first thought was to shove her away. ~Every moment we're together is another moment I put you in danger,~ the words echoed in his head. He knew he should say them, but her touch robbed him of anything resembling coherent speech. Instead, he cupped her face in his hands again and kissed her, giving in to the pull of his heart and body.
"I love you, Spike," she whispered. "Forever."
* * *
When Spike woke up, it was raining.
Rolling over, he looked at the clock. ~3:57 pm~ it read. As he stared at it, the red digital number winked back. ~3:58 pm.~
God, he was supposed to leave four hours ago. ~All the best laid plans…~ Spike thought with a grim smile.
Julia's side of the bed was empty, the sheets still rumpled from being wrapped around her slender form. Her pillow still had a divot in it from where she'd lain her golden head, and Spike buried his face in it. He could still smell her strawberry shampoo.
~Maybe she was right. We could run away together, to the other side of the galaxy if need be,~ he thought. Raising his face out of the pillow, he glanced toward the slightly ajar bathroom door. "Hey, J--"
It was then that he noticed the folded piece of paper standing next to the bedside lamp.
Frowning, Spike reached over and retrieved the paper, reading his name in her neat printing on the front. A chill slid down his spine as he began to read, hearing her voice echo in his head.
~Don't care for me, don't cry
Let's say goodbye, adieu
It's time to say goodbye, I know that in time
It will just fade away, It's time to say goodbye~
Spike realized with a start that the words were lyrics. The song had been a favorite of theirs, and it brought back memories of a night in a dark café, listening to a torch singer perform the song. The next day, Spike had went to the music store and bought the album for Julia, remembering how much she'd loved it. Now the words were daggers in his heart.
He scrambled up from the bed, note still clenched in his fist. He flung the sliding closet door back on its runners. Empty. He pulled out the drawers of the bureau. Empty. Storming out into the kitchen, he found a plate of eggs and toast sitting on the stove, steam rising from the food. A pot of coffee wafted its dark, bitter scent into the air, and a jar of strawberry jam shimmered in the low light.
~How many kinds of messed up is this?~ he thought angrily. ~The woman I love goes and leaves me, but still manages to fix me breakfast.~
Too heartsick to eat, Spike wandered back into the bedroom. His clothes had been carefully laid out on the chair next to the bed, his suitcase sitting open on the chair. Shaking his head, he walked past the bed and into the bathroom. He turned on the shower, the warm water filling the bathroom with steam. Spike watched as the steam fogged the mirror, hiding his blank, numb expression from view. Idly, he wiped it clean with a sweep of his hand, revealing the face of a young man who looked like he'd just lost his last best friend. ~Probably because it's true,~ Spike thought, resting his head against the mirror as the tears began rolling down his cheeks.
* * *
~I stand alone and watch you fade away like clouds
High up and in the sky
I'm strong and so cold
As I stand alone
Goodbye, so long, adieu~
The torch singer's voice spun out of the convertible's speakers, mournful counterpoint to the drum of rain on the ragtop. Julia slipped on her sunglasses, trying not to look back at her apartment building. Spike was probably just waking up. She kept glancing back, thinking that any moment now, he was going to burst out onto the street, half-dressed and yelling for her to wait. He never did, and she drove on.
~Oh how I love you so
Lost in those memories
And now you've gone
I feel the pain, feeling like a fool, adieu~
He couldn't seem to concentrate enough to actually go through the routine of a shower, so he turned off the water and went back into the bedroom. Spike pulled the Julia-scented sheet from the bed and wrapped it around him like a cloak, standing at the rain-splattered window. Julia's convertible was a swiftly retreating red dot in the distance, and he placed his hand against the glass. The car went over a ridge and disappeared from sight, and the flame of hope inside Spike's chest flickered and died.
~My love for you
Burns deep inside me, so strong
Embers of times we had
And now here I stand
Lost in a memory
I see your face
And smile~
AN: "Adieu" is off of CB OST 3: Blue. Words by Brian Richy, sung by Emily Bindiger.
AN: Most of these are from Julia's point of view, but somehow Spike ended up in this one…
Beyond Beautiful
By The Lady Razorsharp
Part 6: Flight of Dragons
If this life gets any harder now
It ain't, no, never mind
You got me by your side
And any time you want
Yeah, we can catch a train and
Find a better place…
--Aerosmith
Julia sat on the bed, watching Spike as he pulled clothes from the bureau. He tossed a pile of shirts on the bed, then folded them one after another. Julia's eyes followed the movements of his hands as his long fingers smoothed the worn fabrics.
"So you're leaving. Just like that."
He nodded, snapping the wrinkles out of a teeshirt. "Yeah. Just like that."
She closed her blue eyes for a moment, then picked out one of his shirts and buried her face in it. ~God, he smells so good.~ she thought, rubbing the fabric against her cheek. She felt a tug on the shirt, and looked up to see Spike pulling on the fabric, pulling it out of her hands. With a small sigh, Julia let him have the shirt.
"Why?"
Spike finished folding the shirt and dropped it into his suitcase. He stared at the small case with his hands on his slim hips; all his worldly possessions wouldn't even half-fill it by the time he was done. "I thought you weren't going to ask me that," he said softly.
Julia's fingers tightened on the bedspread. "I never promised you I wouldn't. I just was afraid to ask, before."
He turned back to the closet and dragged the last remaining shirt--a pale yellow one--off its wire hanger. The hanger pinged against its fellows as Spike pulled the shirt over his bare shoulders. "I'm dead to everyone here, Julia," he reminded her. "A ghost can't walk the streets of his home town."
Tears filled her eyes as he plucked his tie from the closet rod. "You're not dead to me. Isn't that what matters?"
Spike cupped her face in his hands, stroking her quivering chin with his thumbs. "Julia…it's better if I'm dead to you, too." He dropped his hands, turning toward her cheval mirror to knot his tie. He watched their reflection as Julia came up behind him. She slipped her arms around his waist and laid her head against his shoulder. ~Don't do that,~ he pleaded with her silently. ~If you hold on to me like that, I'll never leave you. You'll never be safe.~
"Please, Spike. You asked me to come with you, remember? I'll go anywhere with you." She looked up into his face as he turned around. It was only now, at such close range, that Julia could see the slight difference in the garnet irises.
"This isn't something I want you to see. There won't be a place for you where I'm going."
Her blue eyes narrowed dangerously. "I'll be the judge of that!"
Spike shook her once, hard. "Stop it, Julia!" He looked at her, seeing her anger melt into hurt. "I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you, but I've got no choice." He held her tight, stroking her golden hair.
"You're running away. I want to run away with you." She undid a few buttons on his shirt and slipped her hand inside, feeling how his muscles flexed under the smooth skin. "Just the two of us, together."
Desire sank its fangs into him, and Spike's first thought was to shove her away. ~Every moment we're together is another moment I put you in danger,~ the words echoed in his head. He knew he should say them, but her touch robbed him of anything resembling coherent speech. Instead, he cupped her face in his hands again and kissed her, giving in to the pull of his heart and body.
"I love you, Spike," she whispered. "Forever."
* * *
When Spike woke up, it was raining.
Rolling over, he looked at the clock. ~3:57 pm~ it read. As he stared at it, the red digital number winked back. ~3:58 pm.~
God, he was supposed to leave four hours ago. ~All the best laid plans…~ Spike thought with a grim smile.
Julia's side of the bed was empty, the sheets still rumpled from being wrapped around her slender form. Her pillow still had a divot in it from where she'd lain her golden head, and Spike buried his face in it. He could still smell her strawberry shampoo.
~Maybe she was right. We could run away together, to the other side of the galaxy if need be,~ he thought. Raising his face out of the pillow, he glanced toward the slightly ajar bathroom door. "Hey, J--"
It was then that he noticed the folded piece of paper standing next to the bedside lamp.
Frowning, Spike reached over and retrieved the paper, reading his name in her neat printing on the front. A chill slid down his spine as he began to read, hearing her voice echo in his head.
~Don't care for me, don't cry
Let's say goodbye, adieu
It's time to say goodbye, I know that in time
It will just fade away, It's time to say goodbye~
Spike realized with a start that the words were lyrics. The song had been a favorite of theirs, and it brought back memories of a night in a dark café, listening to a torch singer perform the song. The next day, Spike had went to the music store and bought the album for Julia, remembering how much she'd loved it. Now the words were daggers in his heart.
He scrambled up from the bed, note still clenched in his fist. He flung the sliding closet door back on its runners. Empty. He pulled out the drawers of the bureau. Empty. Storming out into the kitchen, he found a plate of eggs and toast sitting on the stove, steam rising from the food. A pot of coffee wafted its dark, bitter scent into the air, and a jar of strawberry jam shimmered in the low light.
~How many kinds of messed up is this?~ he thought angrily. ~The woman I love goes and leaves me, but still manages to fix me breakfast.~
Too heartsick to eat, Spike wandered back into the bedroom. His clothes had been carefully laid out on the chair next to the bed, his suitcase sitting open on the chair. Shaking his head, he walked past the bed and into the bathroom. He turned on the shower, the warm water filling the bathroom with steam. Spike watched as the steam fogged the mirror, hiding his blank, numb expression from view. Idly, he wiped it clean with a sweep of his hand, revealing the face of a young man who looked like he'd just lost his last best friend. ~Probably because it's true,~ Spike thought, resting his head against the mirror as the tears began rolling down his cheeks.
* * *
~I stand alone and watch you fade away like clouds
High up and in the sky
I'm strong and so cold
As I stand alone
Goodbye, so long, adieu~
The torch singer's voice spun out of the convertible's speakers, mournful counterpoint to the drum of rain on the ragtop. Julia slipped on her sunglasses, trying not to look back at her apartment building. Spike was probably just waking up. She kept glancing back, thinking that any moment now, he was going to burst out onto the street, half-dressed and yelling for her to wait. He never did, and she drove on.
~Oh how I love you so
Lost in those memories
And now you've gone
I feel the pain, feeling like a fool, adieu~
He couldn't seem to concentrate enough to actually go through the routine of a shower, so he turned off the water and went back into the bedroom. Spike pulled the Julia-scented sheet from the bed and wrapped it around him like a cloak, standing at the rain-splattered window. Julia's convertible was a swiftly retreating red dot in the distance, and he placed his hand against the glass. The car went over a ridge and disappeared from sight, and the flame of hope inside Spike's chest flickered and died.
~My love for you
Burns deep inside me, so strong
Embers of times we had
And now here I stand
Lost in a memory
I see your face
And smile~
AN: "Adieu" is off of CB OST 3: Blue. Words by Brian Richy, sung by Emily Bindiger.