Cruel: Heart and Soul Chapter 21, a harry potter fanfic

Chapter 21

* * *

What is it really that was causing him to writhe in pain?

* * *

What is it really that was causing her to doubt?

* * *

What could they do to stop the endlessly tumult of unanswered questions and immortal suffering?

Yes, what could they do for they are just mere humans?

…

* * *

There were many things that have been done before and after the war between He-Who-Must-be-Named and the wizarding community that opposed him.

Many questions remain unanswered.

Many things still remain as a memory.

Many lives have been lost.

Many have been forgotten and yet…

There are just some memories that can't be let go of…

Most are uncertain of what really transpired in the few moments before the war, what more of what happened after it? Most won't really know what really happened while the war was taking place because most of who battled lost their memories or too shocked to relive it. After the war everything was quiet, dark and desolate. Most were too scared to move a muscle or to even utter a single word.

As far as the Ministry has reported, most of You-Know-Who's Deatheaters were eradicated. The Ministry sadly admitted that the few fled and are afraid that they might regroup. Either way, there were only a few remaining and the wizarding community would clearly outnumber their miniscule population…if you could call it a population.

What the others don't know is that these Deatheaters are vengeful and plotting by the dark of their revenge, waiting most patiently for their leader to bring back one who is worthy to lead them all. They have heard that this wizard was knowledgeable in all areas of Wizardry. If this was true, then there was a big chance of the Deatheaters being resurrected.

They had to wait patiently even if it tortures them to wait. They had to wait and hide from the others lest they be spotted. Their hatred grows every passing day as they wait for their leader by day. Their excitement doubles by night when their leader feeds them with information.

It takes effort for some. Others have the natural ability to be patient and look like they don't care. What they have in common was a thirst to kill. They had to control their urges to go out of their lair and cast an Unforgivable at any poor passerby.

How long will it take?

* * *

Tufts of blond hair peaked out from under the covers as the rest of its body remained motionless. The body was indeed awake but unmoving.

Light fought to break through the heavy curtains framing the window and birds sang on the balcony.

The body still remained motionless.

"Draco Malfoy!" a woman's voice called from below. "I know you're still in bed. If you don't get your pouf out of that bed I will personally haul you down here!"

Draco Malfoy sighed to himself as he rolled over on his back to face the ceiling. He had not intention of getting out of bed. He knew that his mother would do no such thing as hauling him out of bed, though it would be amusing to see her try.

He put an arm over his forehead as he closed his eyes and breathed in deeply.

Moments passed.

"Draco!" he heard his mother call him again. "Come down now, I need to have a word with you before I leave."

Leave? Where was his mother going now?

He sat up and threw off his covers, cleaned his teeth and washed his face before speeding downstairs to his mother. He didn't even give a second thought about his hair as he skidded to a halt on the landing.

Before him stood the effeminate version of himself.

"Draco," she smiled warmly as she heard her son from behind. "I'm sorry if it seems so sudden, but I have to go out on another trip." She held out her hand to him.

He cringed slightly as his bare feet felt the cold seep into his feet creeping up to his body. "How long are you going to be away, mother?" he took her hand in his. "What is it this time?"

Her smile twitched at the corners to form an amused expression etched artistically on her face. "You know, if anyone saw you in this state, they'd surely wonder if you really are my son." She tried to flatten his messy hair in some places but as soon as they were pushed down, they sprang back up. She clucked her tongue and forgot his hair. She took out her wand from underneath her light blue robes and expertly gave it a little flick and Draco's rumpled sleepwear lost all its creases.

"I hate it when you clean up for me," he smirked as he kissed his mother on the cheek. "You do realize that I can look after myself, I'm not a baby anymore,"

"Yes," she whispered as she gave him a final look over. "Yes I do realize that you're all grown-up now and become a fine young man," she looked at him, her eyes glassy and brighter. "But, to me, you'll always be the little boy who always cried and ran to me whenever he scraped his knee," she hugged him tightly.

Draco was flooded with the sudden show of emotion that his mother was exhibiting. He never knew that his mother still held on to the image of him as a little boy. He wondered if she ever missed those days. He never knew that deep inside she must've been missing him from another angle. He held on to her fiercely as the little sobs died down.

She sniffed and wiped her eyes with a beautifully embroidered napkin as she stepped out of the hug. "Oh dear, here I am relieving memories. I suppose I'll have to let it go…" she smiled shakily at her son.

He watched her put a charm on her luggage, making them float in midair and fly out the open door. She turned around and walked gracefully towards the door. Her body was illuminated in light as she stepped out.

"Mother, I'll always be your little boy," he called out to her just before she disappeared.

She gave a little wave and a nod as the doors closed behind her.

Draco sighed and made his way into the kitchen to have some breakfast. Come to think of it, his mother never told him when she's be back. He just hoped she wouldn't be away for too long, now that he realized how his mother was feeling. Why was she acting like this anyway? He wasn't complaining, but he just found it queer.

He shrugged half-heartedly as he proceeded to eat his meal.

* * *

"Hi, Ginny," Harry's voice greeted her from the other end of the line.

"Hi," she responded as she crunched on her toast. "Why so early?"

"Nothing really, I was wondering when you'd be free," he said cheerfully.

From the background she could hear his four-year-old son, Tristan trying to bargain for the phone. Today was a Sunday, which meant no work for her, though she wondered about Harry and her brother. She didn't know if Aurors had days off.

"Anyway, I was wondering if you'd like to come over to the place so that you could come visit Tristan and Rainer." Harry said, there was a hint of hoping in his voice. "Tristan's acting a little fussy for the past few days and…"

She grinned. "Sure Harry, I'd love to help. Tell Tristan I'll be right over."

Harry let out a big sigh of relief." Thank you Ginny, I don't know what I would have done without you,"

"Probably a lot," she laughed as she heard him protest. "Anyway, the sooner we hand up the sooner I can get to your place."

"Alright, bye" he hung up.

Ginny shook her head as she finished off her toast in the last two bites. She didn't change into new clothes as she went back up to her room to tidy up. She headed back into her living room where the fireplace was. She had hidden the Floo Powder behind a loose brick in the fireplace. She took some powder in her hand, stepped into the fireplace, clearly stated her destination and dropped the powder with meaning and felt her body flying through space.

* * *

A scream rang through her ears as she stepped out of Harry's fireplace. She flicked her wand to clean her self up again and made her way to the kitchen.

Harry lived in a mansion, not as big as the Malfoy's but furnished with the best quality of furniture. As custom, he had decorated his house in Gryffindor colors, red and gold.

"Hello," she walked into the kitchen to discover Rainer in her highchair and Tristan being chased by his tired father.

When Tristan saw her, a grin lit up his face as he ran towards her.

"Hey there! Are you giving your father a hard time?" she scooped him up and hugged him to her. "Why's your father chasing you anyway?"

Tristan made a face. "He wants me to eat that!" he pointed a grubby finger, supposedly smeared with oatmeal, at a bowl of half-empty oatmeal.

Ginny looked at Harry and had to bite back a laugh. He was splattered with oatmeal from trying to get Tristan to eat his breakfast.

Rainer let out a laugh as she dumped her plastic bowl of oatmeal on the floor.

Harry let out a groan as he mechanically picked up the bowl and placed it over his head.

After getting the children to eat their breakfast and clean up,

Harry let Tristan play in the backyard as Rainer played quietly in her playpen.

Ginny watched Rainer, a smile on her face as she listened to Harry speaking to her.

"Hey Ginny, have you heard from Valerie? I haven't heard from her since last night, I told her to call me but she didn't," Harry said suddenly.

Ginny stared at him. "Valerie? I haven't heard from her too. Speaking of her, have you invited her over to your place yet? You should introduce her to Tristan and Rainer while they're still young." She gestured at Rainer who waved a rattle happily at her.

Harry shrugged. "Alright, I'll do that."

They lapsed into silence.

Ginny wasn't worried. They were always like this. Harry invited her to his house; they'd talk some and just stay quiet for a few minutes. It was a comfortable kind of silence that passed between them. She got up and traipsed across the span of the living room to where Rainer was playing. She waggled her fingers at him, which prompted a delightful gurgle from the baby.

"Tristan's turning five next week and Rainer is having her party the week after. I was wondering if it would be alright to just give them one party." Harry came up behind her.

She shrugged. "It's up to you. You think Tristan would be alright with the idea of sharing a birthday with his sister?"

Harry scratched his head in thought. "Well, I guess he'd be alright with it." He dropped his hand. "By the way, I'll have to go shopping for both their toys the some time soon and I was wondering if you would go along with me,"

"Sure," she agreed. "You can bring Valerie too after the shopping trip so that they can meet her,"

Harry chuckled. "Alright, but can I hide the presents in your house?"

Ginny gave him a questioning look. "Whatever for?"

Harry laughed. "You see, Tristan has this new talent for finding things that he's not supposed to know about. Just a few days ago, he found some of the spare plugs and was just about to plug them in, but luckily I came in just in time." He shook his head, a wry smile on his face.

"Alright Harry," Ginny grinned as she took Rainer out of her pen and began to play with her.

* * *

Draco clasped and unclasped his hand for the nth time for the hour. It was already nearing midday and he wasn't even hungry. He was in the library and was sorting throughout all his books in his personal section of the library. Now, an album lay open before him. He knew what he was getting into by opening the album; he knew what he was going to see and hear when he leafed through the pages…but he still did it.

Why?

He was now tired, the album's page was stopped directly in the middle. One picture showed Callysta standing by the swing and waving at him. Another picture showed her smiling happily as she gripped a stuffed bear to her chest. On the other side of the page was a large picture of her. She wasn't smiling nor was she frowning. She had this distant look in her eyes, which made her look more beautiful that the other two pictures.

As soon as he had opened the album, he could hear her voice calling out to him. Sweet and young and brimming with happiness as she was before.

Why couldn't he finish looking through it?

He clasped his hands and squeezed tightly before unclasping again. He sighed and shut the album and placed it back on the shelf along with the other albums.

There was also a box on the shelf. He reached for it and opened it before sitting down. Contained inside was a lock of raven black hair, another picture of her, a bracelet, a piece of her gown and a letter. He had the box spelled so that none of its contents may spoil or break. He picked up the lock of her, which was tied by a velvet ribbon. He inhaled its scent and was once again flooded with memories of her.

He picked up the letter and looked at the front. On it was written:

To Draco Malfoy,

May you treasure this letter forever

He took the letter from out of its envelope, unfolded the letter and began to read.

My dearest Draco,

In a mere three days I will be turning fifteen. What is so significant that, you're probably thinking. Well, when I turn fifteen, I know that a lot of things will begin to happen and a lot of things might change. You are already fifteen and must be aware of some things that have already started to happen and change.

I just wanted you to know that whatever happens in the future, I will always be with you. Whether we fight or we grow apart, I will never forget you because I think I never will. You have been a part of me for as long as I can remember. I do hope that you will never forget me, but if you do, then there must be a good reason as to why you wish to do so or did.

Trials may come ahead to test you.

Stay strong and never give up.

I love you with all my heart,

Cally

Draco's hand shook as he placed the letter back inside its envelope and hurriedly put the box on the shelf as if the box was burning his hand. He clumsily sat atop the ladder and stared at his shaking hands.

I should have known that was coming when I received her letter. Things were about to change. She said that we might grow distant…because of what happened….because of her father's plan with mine. They made her do it. They wanted both of us to be like them. But I didn't want to. She said she'd always love me no matter what…was it true? She didn't want to fight me, but there was an eagerness in her eyes to finally emerge as the winner. She cursed me with THIS! She has cursed me with all the misery I'm harboring now. She said she would never forget me, and I doubt that she hasn't. I have never quite forgotten her. She's stay hidden in the dark depths of my soul…but never quite forgotten.

She knew everything. She betrayed me.

Why would she do this? Was it because of her father's plan and mine? Was it because she was also promised just like I was? Why didn't Voldemort kill me when he had the chance? He could have, but didn't, why? Was it because he knew that I was going to suffer anyway because of my actions?

Well, I am already suffering and it would be a long time before I start to heal…

Draco placed his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking with anguish but no tears flowed from his eyes, and not a single tear was shed. He would not shed so much as a tear for her or for his misery.

Such was his fate.

* * *

"Harry," she said uncertainly as he put Rainer and Tristan to their naps.

"Yes?" he said softly as he closed the door behind them, which led to the nursery.

Ginny hesitated. Did she really have the right to ask this? "Harry, do you like Valerie?"

Harry stared at her. "Of course I like her, why shouldn't I?" he led her down the stairs and into the living room again. "Why?"
Instead of sitting down as Harry gestured her to do so, she began pacing the living room. "Harry, I mean---what I mean is---oh hell! What I mean is, do you like her in that way?" she finally burst out as she stopped her pacing to look at him, the warmth spreading to her face.

Harry stared at her, his eyes wider than a while ago. "What do you mean?"

Ginny let out a growl of frustration as she began pacing again. "Don't play dumb with me Harry Potter! Don't think you can deceive me with saying 'What do you mean?'. I've seen how you and Valerie are and I want to know if there's anything between both of you!"

Harry's jaw dropped open as she put her hands on her hips and stared at him demandingly. "Ginny, why are you even asking me this?"

Ginny blushed hotly but she continued. "You told me a few weeks ago that you had feelings for me and I told you that I wanted to have some time. To be honest, I haven't been thinking about it that much because I didn't want to be confused. But know that I've seen you with Valerie, I want to know that truth so that at least I know for the sake of knowing!"

Harry ran a hand through his hair and sighed as he looked away from her.

What was he really feeling? What was he doing? When he met Valerie he felt this strong attraction between them and felt guilty because he knew that he told Ginny that he loved her. Did he still love Ginny in that way? He knew that he would always love her, but he didn't know if he's love her in that way forever. What was it with Valerie? He really liked her a lot but he just didn't know how to tell or when to tell her.

Every moment seemed so awkward.

He didn't know if he loved her enough to let go of Ginny. He was selfish and he knew it. Everyone was selfish when it came to this kind of situation. Everyone would want to hold on to both people because the feeling of 'forever' was there.

He stood up and walked towards her. Her back was to him because she was facing the glass wall and staring out at the garden where Tristan was just playing in a while ago.

The window was foggy and her breath against it added to the fog. It wasn't raining yet but they could already tell that it was.

He placed a hand on her shoulder, but she didn't turn to face him.

A slight rumbling of thunder could be heard from the distance.

…Moments passed…

…and passed

and passed…

…and passed

and passed…

A blinding streak raced down from the sky, stretching out to all directions. A thunder roared in return, echoing loudly seconds after it sounded.

"Ginny,"

Then the rain muffled all sounds.

She could faintly see his reflection in front of her, his mouth moving but she could hear no words come out.

"What did you say?" she raised her voice to be heard over the rain.

Harry shook his head and gestured at the rain before them. He couldn't talk to her in this condition. He thought of using the spell "Sonorus" on himself but decided against it. Instead, he gestured for her to sit by him on the sofa. He gently took her by the elbow and tugged at her when she didn't move.

She looked at the hand on her elbow before she looked at him. She sighed and let him sit her on the sofa.

Together they sat side by side as the rain continued its cry. They watched the lighting light up the sky and listened to the thunder respond. They stayed that way for a while.

After a while, the rain ceased to be a storm. Like a child dying down from a tantrum.

But none of them spoke.

They heard a small patter of feet descend from the stairs. They both turned at the sound of a sleepy voice.

A smaller version of Harry stood on the stairs, a hand at the railing and the other rubbing his sleepy eyes. He let out a yawn as he continued his descent. His feet were clad in socks, which were stuffed into soft lined slippers. "It's raining,"

"Yes it is," Ginny said softly, but loud enough for Tristan to hear. "What are you doing out of bed?"

Tristan let out another yawn. "The thunder woke me up,"

"Were you scared?" Ginny gestured for the boy to come over.

Tristan trudged slowly towards her. He came around from behind the sofa to. He got on her lap and rested his head against her shoulder. "A little,"

"It's alright, a lot of people are afraid of thunder," Ginny smoothed his hair and kissed his head. She then began to rock him slowly.

Harry watched as this woman handled her son.

She was beautiful.

If he couldn't have Cho Chang, then Virginia Weasley would have been his immediate decision. She was wonderful with Tristan and Rainer. She was absolutely breathtaking. He often wondered if he had made the right decision to marry Cho. He often wondered why he hadn't married Ginny instead. Was it because he didn't pay enough attention to her back in Hogwarts? He knew that she fancied him but ignored it because he didn't fancy her. But he was there when she needed to talk, he didn't push her away.

But here he was now.

Without Cho…

With Ginny…

He remembered that incident when he almost violated her.

He shuddered at the thought. How could he have done that?

Maybe because he was in so much pain and needed someone to comfort him…

It was harder to decide now and tell her what he really was feeling.

Ginny or Valerie?

"Can I have some hot cocoa?" Tristan raised his head from his near nap to ask Ginny for the perfect drink for this kind of weather. "Please?"

Ginny smiled warmly. "Sure, I was just thinking of getting some myself." She settled him down on the floor and took his hand and hers and walked towards the kitchen. "Oh Harry," she turned back to look at him. She felt Tristan stop and look at his father, but she could feel his impatience by the tug of his hand on hers.

Harry looked lost and didn't seem to hear her. His eyes were downcast and his head was bowed down, his hair falling into his eyes, making them darker and hard to read.

She opened her mouth again to call out to him but stopped she saw his lips moving.

"Yes?" his voice sounded feeble to her ears.

"Do you want to have some hot cocoa with us?" she inclined her head towards the kitchen.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," he smiled a small smile.

"Can we go now?" Tristan demanded as he pulled on her hand and stomped towards the kitchen, towing Ginny along with him.

She glanced back at him and noticed that he hasn't made any move to get up and follow them.

Harry sighed, almost as if he was ejecting all the burden and problems from inside. He raised a hand to take of his glasses and rub his eyes tiredly.

What was is it really?

From the kitchen he could hear his son helping Ginny.

He smiled and got up from his seat, stretching left and right. He heard a few bones loose. He needed to relax more often. He then followed his son and Ginny to the kitchen.

"Glad to see that you made it," Ginny smiled as she opened the container of cocoa powder.

Tristan stood in front if his father, a dishtowel hanging on one of his arms. "Welcome to The Cocoa Shop. Do you have a--ah--um--a reser—reves---" he cast a look at Ginny.

"Reservation," she supplied while adding the powder into each cup.

"Reservation," he said proudly as he bowed before Harry.

Harry's eyes twinkled with laughter but dared not to utter a sound. "Yes I do, my good sir," he said seriously.

"Right this way then," Tristan led him to the smaller dinner table by the window. "Here is your menu," he handed his father a make believe menu, which was invisible.

Harry took it in his hands and scanned it thoughtfully. "I'll have the shrimp cocktail,"

Tristan shook his head. "No! You can't have that! We don't serve shrimps here! This is a Cocoa Shop! It says so on the menu!" he threw up his hands and stalked over to Ginny. "Honestly, can't some people read?"

Ginny and Harry looked at each other and had to bite their lower lips to keep from laughing.

Disgruntled, Tristan shook his head. "One order of hot cocoa," he placed a make believe slip of paper beside Ginny.

"Coming right up!" she saluted and finished stirring the cocoa. She then placed then mugs on a tray and followed Tristan to the table. She then placed the mugs on the table. "Would you sirs like marshmallows with you cocoa?"

They both nodded at the same time and in the same way.

"That would be an extra fine for it," she informed them as she headed towards the cupboard to fetch the marshmallows.

"Tristan, do you hear that? She's asking us to pay more!" Harry clutched at his chest in mock disbelief.

"You can't do this to me! I own this shop!" Tristan shouted in complaint.

"If you lower your voice and say 'please and thank you' I'll let you have it for free," Ginny bargained with Tristan.

Tristan put a finger to his temple and thought it over. "Okay. May I please have marshmallows?"

"Alright, but first, I'll get the whipped cream and chocolate syrup because you're so nice," Ginny left again to rummage in the refrigerator for the extra toppings.

Harry shook his head at his son. "If you act nicer she might give you a kiss,"

Tristan made a sour face. "Ewww!"

"Why, what's wrong? You don't want me to kiss you?" Ginny laughed as she then shook the can of cream and put some on all of their mugs. She then added the syrup and topped it off with some marshmallows.

"No, I only get kisses from him," he jerked his thumb at Harry and proceeded to eat off the whip cream.

Ginny met Harry's eyes. "Do you think girls are gross?"

"Yeah, but not Rainer and you,"

"So why don't you want me to kiss you?"

"It's yucky coming from a girl," Tristan looked up from his mug, cream on the sides of his mouth.

"I wonder who told you that?" she pointed at the sides of her mouth intending Tristan to wipe the cream of his face.

"Him," he pointed again at his father while he licked the cream of.

"So he did, did he?" she looked at Harry. "Why would you tell him that?"

"I think he told me because he probably thought it was gross too!"

"Really?" she said amused. "I don't think your father thinks the same way any more,"

Tristan looked at her in question. "How would you know?"

"Why don't we ask him?" she spooned some of the whip cream into her mouth. "Harry?"

All throughout the conversation of kissing, Harry remained quiet. He was quite amused with their talk and thought it funny how his son was reacting. He did tell his son that kissing was gross just because Tristan had seen a couple kissing one day on the street. Tristan asked why people do it then. Harry had replied that when a girl kisses a boy, the boy is under the girl's spell and will do anything for her.

Harry smiled at Ginny and told her what had happened on the street as to why Tristan was acting this way.

Ginny then quickly placed a kiss on Harry's cheek. "See, nothing happened," she told Tristan.

Harry grinned.

"No, you didn't kiss him the way I saw it on the street. I saw what happened to the guy, he kept following her around and doing everything she wanted. He looked dreamy…" Tristan shuddered and began to drink some more of his cocoa.

Ginny crossed her arms over her chest. "If I kiss your father and he doesn't become dreamy or anything you say, will you let me kiss you?"

"Alright," Tristan nodded and broke away from his hot cocoa to watch.

Harry's heart jumped to his throat. How could she take this so casually? He didn't have time to think about it because Ginny's lips were on his as she gave him a warm, gentle kiss that lasted about two or three seconds. He felt lightheaded and he felt giddy as she pulled away from him.

"You did it!" Tristan glared at her. "You can't kiss me!" he then went back to his cocoa.

Ginny placed a hand on her lips as she stared at Harry. Did she really do that? Where ever did she get the guts to do that so simply?

"I think we have to do one more kiss to prove to Tristan that I was just joking," Harry licked his lips anxiously. "You do want to kiss him, don't you?" But he was actually referring to himself but he hoped that she didn't hear the plead in his voice.

She stared at him. Another kiss? Was she willing to have another kiss with him just so that she could get to kiss Tristan? Was it that or did she just want to kiss him again? She then realized that this was the first kiss she initiated with him…if she kissed him again, it would probably be meaningful…not like the last time.

Did she want to? What was she doing?

Tristan glanced at Ginny then to his Father. Something strange was going on. He shrugged, he didn't care, just as long as he had his cocoa with him, everything would be fine.