Chapter 23
Journal's Log
I don't know, maybe its just because I've been cooped up too long in the dark…
Or maybe it's just because of boredom…
Or maybe I'm just unreasonably excited…hahaha
Whatever the reason, I want to record this as soon as possible before I lose the feeling!
Obviously, you want to know what the story is, right?
Well, I suppose you do, who'd want to listen to my ramblings, not you I guess…
First of all, I was in the library and I was looking through my old memories…
Yes, her memories. Now you'd ask me why I would want to go and do that when it would just cause me pain and act like a body devoid of a spirit?
I don't know…I don't know the answer to that…
When I was looking through the memories, I don't know how I felt. I was just plainly remembering, I can't recall if I felt anything in the span of reminiscing.
Maybe it wasn't to be that way.
Maybe I was supposed to feel something after I finished remembering…
Well, that's exactly what happened.
I started feeling the pang of loneliness, doubt, annoyance and utter disgust.
For some while, I just kept telling or asking myself if I was condemned to this fate. Surely, there was something else for me? That's when the dark or the anguish start to consume me and I found myself crying out for that person to come and hold me.
Yes, I was desperate for someone.
Not just anyone, but that someone who would understand me no matter what.
I really don't know what happened.
It was just dark, it was comforting for some part…then there was the light that was menacing…it wanted to pull me back, to take me away from that someone. But then, that someone wasn't there yet. I wanted to wait some more, but the light refused me.
Just when I thought I would lose the struggle, an all to familiar fiery ember charged towards me to drive the blinding light away.
And then there was peace, warmth and just her.
I knew I had found her.
I was content.
But then, I knew it wouldn't last, nothing lasts.
But I didn't want to think about it.
But it inevitably came.
We were both separated and that was the last of it.
I felt weak, weak in the physical sense, like I was drained. But for the inner sense, I was tingling all over. I felt alive because I knew I had found her. I knew that somehow I would be able to see her again; I just need some time to figure out how to get to her again.
How to make it happen again preferably how to make it last longer and how to do it in a snap of a finger.
The only thing that scares me is that I must have been dreaming or hallucinating. The most horrible thought that could ever enter my mind is that: What if she's not real? What if she was just made up for my sake? If she wasn't real, how would I be able to continue with this knowledge?
It was maddening to think about it.
As far as I 'm concerned, I want to think that I wasn't just imagining it out of desperation. I would really like to believe that there really is such a person. If there is such a person, I would find her not matter the cost…
But wait!
By doing this, I'm deviating from my original task.
I don't do this! I don't focus just on one woman and give her my entire being!
What am I doing?
Being a helpless romantic doesn't help at all!
I'm supposed to be cruel. I wouldn't care about other women so why I should I care about this one?
And what of Virginia?
…
Yes, what about Virginia?
Isn't it queer that I am talking to myself?
No matter. No one will know of this.
About Virginia…I don't know.
Yes, I will admit that I am really attracted to her. I look at her as an equal.
She's different from other women. I cant say how she is different, she just is. Her being herself exudes all the others. I don't know what she possesses that the others don't have that make her stand out. And because of this, it makes me want all the more to possess her. And so far, it has been proving to be more difficult that the others.
Though, I do like the challenge.
There is Potter, and her annoying brother, and then…there is Valerie.
I wont dwell on Valerie for now. I find that the atmosphere changes when I start to think about her. It's strange…
Back to the topic at hand…
Its shameful to admit that ever since I had decided to pursue her, I had thought of giving up my hobby, but the thought wasn't really a direct kind of thought. I didn't know exactly what I was thinking. The reason why I had thought of it was because I saw or felt something different when I had chosen her.
She was different from all the other women. She was different because of her entire being. She was something like an equal. She possessed something higher and more desirable than all the others. Because of that, I wanted to possess her.
I didn't understand it. She was driving me to do it without her even saying so.
Her innocence was provoking me, driving me to possess her.
Alright, I'm mad or whatever you want to call me.
So what am I supposed to do?
To find her and continue pursuing Virginia, what will it be?
Choose either one and you give it all up.
Do I want to give it all up?
Maybe it was time to stop?
I don't want to think about it.
Virginia, what are you doing now? Where are you? What are you feeling? We'll still be seeing more of each other, I assure you.
As for the recent spiraling into darkness…
I've been doing that a lot nowadays, besides that, I still really haven't figured out what's casing me to act so strangely. I can't stop it. I don't know why I do it. The worst thing that could happen is that I might be doing something awful and not know it. Or I know I'm doing it but I can't stop it. I don't know which of the two is worse.
All I can say is that I've been changing ever since I met her. When I met her I started remembering a lot of things that I thought I'd forgotten. I started acting strangely. Basically, I'm not the only one who changed. A lot of things have changed.
If I do choose to continue with Virginia and at the same time choose to look for that girl in darkness, it would take a lot of time and effort. It would be very difficult to do both.
But I don't want to give up.
I never give up.
And if I do lose all hope, then I'd rather die…
* * *
It was already nearing evening when Ginny left Harry's home. He had earlier offered her dinner in some restaurant but she refused.
Why did she refuse?
Don't know.
Maybe it was because she was so worn out for some reason. It wasn't that Tristan tired her out or that she and Harry had been kissing.
Yes, she had bee kissing with Harry, but it was just for experimental reasons.
It really
didn't mean anything or did it?
She didn't know and she didn't
really care at all for the moment.
She just kept thinking about her experience just a few hours ago.
Entering her house, it was dark and silent.
She reached out a hand to the wall and flicked on the light switch. She blinked her eyes a number of times to get accustomed to the now lit room. She looked around. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
She laughed to herself.
She was being paranoid.
It was if she almost believed for that person to appear in her house.
Yeah right!
Was she crazy? She didn't think so. Was it natural for this to happen? Sure, a lot of mysterious and unexplainable things have been happening in the Wizarding World for centuries, so shouldn't this be natural?
She felt as if she was reasoning out with herself, which made her feel sigh with chagrin.
Oh, stop it! She told herself. Stop thinking about it for a while before you lose all the sanity that's left within you!
Right.
Wearily, she climbed the stairs to her room to have a nice, refreshing bath.
A good way to end this day was to have a bath. She found out that a bath would most likely have a good ending and an even better result in the morning.
* * *
His heart thudded in his chest, sounding like a wave crashing over and over on the shore, the thudding reaching to his ears, his blood suffusing his face as he continued to stare.
Where was he?
He was sure he had fallen asleep over three hours ago. He felt so rumpled. SO disorganized as he swayed like a drunkard.
It was unreasonably cold.
Where was he?
He shut his eyes tight to organize himself. He wrapped his arms around him and huddled against the cold.
He snapped his eyes open, the night clear to him as day.
Oh Gods, not again!
* * *
It was already nearing midnight.
A tingling sensation was creeping over her, starting from her toes to the roots of her hair. It felt warm and cold at the same time. She couldn't sleep right. For some reason, she was very restless, which was strange because she was so weary just a few hours ago.
She was already in deep slumber when she heard the wind outside. It seemed like the wind was calling to her.
Why would it be calling to her at this hour? It was absurd!
And the wind!
Hah!
The wind was calling to her…did she even understand what it was saying? What was she all of a sudden? A wind-talker? It seemed that she was more attune to the wind nowadays.
It gets stranger and stranger by the moment.
She desired sleep and wasn't going to let some silly wind call her at this hour of the night. She threw the covers over her head and buried her face against her pillow as if trying to shut out the wind and its image.
* * *
I'm going to strangle her!
Go ahead. At this rate my Reality will die out there in the cold!
Apollo, isn't there anyway to get my Reality to come out of it? This wind thing isn't really working.
Maybe it's high time that we ventured a little further. It hasn't been done before and I'm not entirely too sure that it would work, but if you want to give it a try…
We'll try!
Well, alright, if both of you insist…This is what you have to do, but before that, I must warn you that if you fail, you'll be losing a great deal of energy to get back into this Realm. Are you sure that you still want to do it?
Silence.
If we fail, the longer it will take our Realities to combine with us. We don't even really know why your Reality is in front of my house! Is this your doing?
I'm not entirely too sure. He was already sleeping when I started to get a fizzing sensation in my core. I found it really annoying and maybe it was best if he got some help. I swear I didn't think a single thought about you, but once I thought of help, I got disoriented and well, my Reality was standing outside your house. Then I thought of waking you up.
So that's why I was feeling all tingly…How dare you wake me up at this hour? Just for some annoying fizzing thing that you can't get rid off? Why I ought to…!
Please calm down. You wont solve anything with your bickering. You will eventually find out what the cause of this fizzing sensation is when both of you get to doing what I'm ordering you to do.
Silence.
Alright, we're still going to do. I'm sure we can. If we fail, which I seriously doubt won't happen, then we can take the risk.
Alright then, here's what both of you should do: He must reach for his core and make it blaze brightly by adding memories of her. In the meanwhile, she must concentrate on it with all the will she possesses, throwing out a single thread of her core to catch your core. Once both of you feel that you are secured to each other, that's when it'll start to happen.
He looked at her, eye's flashing with much determination. If you foul up then its over for my Reality.
She smiled wryly. It would be a better world then.
He glared at her but proceeded with the task of delving deep into himself to look for his core. There it was, an icy spring flowing endlessly. He gathered in his hands, shaping it into a ball so that she would be able to lasso it easily. He began to add all the memories he had of her to the ball, making it glare brightly in the darkness.
Once she caught sight of his blazing core, she herself dove into herself to look for her own core. It was a burning flame that radiated into all directions of herself. She coaxed a single thread to disentangle from the rest. A small ember flew out to meet her, flattening itself into a lasso of thread so that she would be able to use with an easier fashion.
He raised his eyes to look at her and nodded to indicate that she could try now.
She took a deep breath and prayed sincerely that this would work. She threw the thread out to his core, wrapping itself around the ball. Like the remaining thread wrapping around a ball of yarn.
They jolted as they felt an electric current run through them, shocking their cores.
* * *
Ginny felt as if someone stabbed through her with an icicle. She gasped, clutching her chest as her eyes strained to focus in the dark. The wind was still calling to her and made her look out the window. Her eyes widened to discover that a faint blue light was hovering below. Just as she saw the light, it disappeared just as quickly. She jumped out of bed, the covers tangled about her feet. She growled as she fought to kick them off. She nearly stumbled over her own feet as she made her way to the window.
Her breath stopped in her throat as she saw Draco outside her house.
Why did
this seem all too familiar?
Maybe it was because this
really did happen once already?
The scary thing was that Draco might've been the source of light.
If he was the source of light…then the recent experiences in the dark and a faint blue light might be him?
No, it can't be.
It was impossible.
The most reason one just couldn't be related to him…could it?
Then, she started to recall:
Ginny frowned as she felt as if something was wrong. She tried to shake the feeling away but it still continued to cling to her. Frustrated, she set her book away and kicked off the covers. She pulled on her bathrobe and wrapped it around herself to keep from freezing. She looked outside her window and strained to see through the rain and dark. Nothing there. She was about to turn away when she caught a flash of blue from below. She turned back to look and saw Draco standing outside her house. He was drenched and shivering.
What was he thinking? Standing outside her house in the rain? He could get sick or killed!
She saw Draco look up at her. Her heart froze. He looked like a ghost. Something was plaguing him she could see that from his face. She hurried downstairs and flung the door open. She raced outside, ignoring the rain as she brought Draco inside her house. He was dripping on the mat while she fetched a towel from one of the bathrooms downstairs. She proceeded to dry his hair.
Yes, just like before there was a flash of light…a blue light to be exact.
What did all this mean?
The light, Draco outside her house, it wasn't raining but it was definitely cold. He was acting strangely again. She could tell because he looked exactly the way he looked like the first time this happened.
She didn't have time to think.
Once again, she was flying down the stairs, throwing the door open, rushing outside to grab the man and drag him inside her house.
At least she didn't have to go through the task of drying him, but she did settle him in front of the fireplace.
Now that the fireplace was lit and that Draco had a warm blanket around his shivering frame, Ginny examined him.
Yes, it was exactly like before.
Why did history have a knack of repeating itself?
He was pale, his hair matted, his eyes sunken and his skin cold.
What was it this time?
Was it the same reason as before? Though she didn't even know what was plaguing him the last time…So maybe it was time that he told her…It was vexing her that she didn't know what was going inside of him and it vexed her all the more to know that she couldn't do anything about it until she found out.
* * *
Draco eyed the fire, his eyes not really seeing it. He wasn't seeing the fire as it was, but rather he saw it as her. As his eyes drifted to Ginny, that fire settled itself around her form.
His eyes widened.
Was the
fire her?
Was the person her?
He squinted and shook his head, but the fire still remained stuck to her like it was her own skin.
He heard her speak and her words were warm and comforting like those of the person who held him in the dark.
Was it really her?
* * *
Yes! We did it! Though, I do feel kind of weak, but it doesn't really matter! Your Reality is starting to realize it! Starting to realize that it's me!
Yes, we did it, but it would still take some time for things to clear up between both our Realities.
Oh, stop sounding like a pessimist. What's important is that our Realities are getting nearer to fusing with us, their subconscious selves!
He grinned in spite of himself, her excitement was catching.
* * *