Chapter 24
Draco eyed the fire, his eyes not really seeing it. He wasn't seeing the fire as it was, but rather he saw it as her. As his eyes drifted to Ginny, that fire settled itself around her form.
His eyes widened.
Was
the fire her?
Was the person her?
He squinted and shook his head, but the fire still remained stuck to her like it was her own skin.
He heard her speak and her words were warm and comforting like those of the person who held him in the dark.
Was it really her?
* * *
Yes! We did it! Though, I do feel kind of weak, but it doesn't really matter! Your Reality is starting to realize it! Starting to realize that it's me!
Yes, we did it, but it would still take some time for things to clear up between both our Realities.
Oh, stop sounding like a pessimist. What's important is that our Realities are getting nearer to fusing with us, their subconscious selves!
He grinned in spite of himself, her excitement was catching.
* * *
Ginny narrowed her eyes as she saw that Draco's eyes widened.
It was funny, she was doing the opposite of what he was doing.
It puzzled her even more that he shook his head. What was he thinking?
She reached out a tentative hand, laying it the exposed skin of his arm.
Draco's arm was infused with warmth as she touched him.
He was starting to believe that she maybe the one, but he was still in a great deal of doubt.
He looked at her, confused, bewildered. He couldn't take it anymore. What was wrong with him? Why was he acting like this. He loathed it. He abhorred it.
Ginny's hand relaxed as Draco looked at her, looking more human than a few moments ago. She smoothed back his hair from his forehead and sat down on the arm of the huge armchair that he was in.
As a response, he placed his head in her lap as he let her run her fingers through his hair comfortingly.
He was starting to remember…
Starting to remember that not too long ago that the very same thing had happened, but some of the events that were happening now were a bit different that before.
Yes, he had been in the rain that time. He was staring up at her window, willing for her to come out to see him. He wasn't able to talk, he was rendered dumb. He had to wait for some time in the rain before she appeared in the window.
The darkness, it was a common thing between them, yet they didn't know that each of them lived in it.
None of them knew that the light they saw was really each other.
None of them knew who the light was in the darkness.
None knew who was holding and who was crying.
When all they had to do was to look at each other and they'll know that they have found each other.
When did this all start?
They know all too well when it began.
The strange but comforting darkness.
It all started when the contract had been met. When she had come over to stay in the new manor with them. It happened when she had been sleeping and per chance had come upon her. He had held her in his arms and unknowingly dozed off as well.
He had been searching for her as she had been searching for him and they found each other to discover---to discover---they couldn't remember what they had discovered about themselves.
It happened twice in that day.
When they had come back hurtling into the darkness, there was another voice, the owner of the voice said that he was God of The Realm---what Realm? They couldn't remember was well. He was very please about the fact that they had reappeared so quickly.
Did it make any difference?
They both knew that there were other times when they had come back to the welcoming hands of the dark. Though, they just couldn't remember exactly what transpired in those few moments.
But why was the recent darkness so vivid?
It seemed like they weren't just watching, but they were actually themselves.
Maybe an hour had passed.
They couldn't tell.
She was tired, he was tired, though she guessed that he was more stressed than she was. Why wouldn't he? She bet that whatever he was going through was far worse than her own petty worries.
Somehow, when she gentle tried to rise off the arm of the chair, hoping that he would get off of her, she wasn't able to budge. He had her in his hold.
She told him softly that she needed to stand to get her blood circulating.
He didn't let go of her. His grip was still as before.
"I promise not to leave you, I'll be here."
She waited.
Then, his hands slowly loosened their grip on her, his head seemed to be heavy as he lifted it from her lap.
She stood up and winced as the prickles flew across her thighs. She shook out her legs, massaging her thighs to get her blood circulating again. Once she thought that it was all right to sit again, she looked at Draco.
He was watching her, his eyes a little glassy.
She sat in front of the fireplace, her legs out before her and open enough for what she had in mind. She turned to look at him and motioned for him to come sit in front of her, before the fireplace.
He stared at her for a while, as if mulling the thought in his mind. He consented and rose sluggishly a few feet from the chair. His back was hunched as he lurched forward to her. He collapsed just in front of her, his head fitting into the crook f her neck as she leaned back on the chair that he had just occupied.
She wrapped her arms around his waist, staring thoughtfully into the fire just as he was doing.
Yes, it was just like before.
She held him exactly the way the fire held him in the darkness. Her warmth and her touch was the same as the fire's.
He had been meaning to tell her his secret, his past, his stowed memories. He had wanted to tell her, at the party and even before that. He just couldn't find the right time. Maybe now was the time to tell her. But he found it hard to talk now.
Ginny thought now might be the right time to ask Draco what was he thinking about. It was now or never. After all, he had promised her. So what was wrong with asking him now?
Maybe she'd ask him first about his eyes…
Yes, his eyes. She didn't find it frightening, in fact, she found it strangely beautiful. But she wasn't entirely sure that it was really his eyes that was changing color on their own. Maybe his eyes had help from the light.
"Draco, I've been wanting to ask you some questions," she said softly into his ear.
He didn't stir.
"I recall the first time this happened and I've been wanting to ask you what was troubling you. You promised me at the party that you would tell me and I've been waiting since then."
Still, not a single movement.
"Draco, I want to tell you that whatever you have to tell me, I would understand you even though I don't really know what you're going through but I can feel your suffering. It's hurting me that I can't help you. By letting me know, I may be able to ease your pain a bit, it would help you and me. I'm half-frightened of what you're about to tell me and that I wont be able to help much. But at least let me try."
He didn't move.
He's not going to tell me…
Slowly, he slightly turned to look at her, his eyes now a very dark blue.
Her breath caught in her throat. She wasn't hallucinating! His eyes do change color!
"Draco, your eyes!" she breathed as she continued to stare into his eyes. She made a motion as if she wanted to touch his eyes. "They're beautiful."
"Beautiful?" his voice came out in a soft scorn. "I would call it a curse. It took me a long time to master my emotions so that my eyes won't change color. As you can tell, they change at the slightest emotion. I not only had to learn to control my emotions but I also had to learn how to take control of they curse itself. 'Eyes are the windows to a person's soul'" He remembered that line all to well ever since the curse had hit him.
His eyes now turned into a purple-blue shade.
"Tell me how it happened?"
He sighed as he settled himself unto her again, his hands finding hers, holding them gently in his grasp. "When I tell you of how it happened, you will also finally know what's been plaguing me all this time. All the answers can be found in this story, my past, and my memory. I have been hiding this memory for a long time, trying to forget the past. Yes, I have forgotten in, but not entirely. It only started to emerge completely when I met you, when I had been spending a lot of time with you."
"I'm sorry if I have been the cause of your pain. If I am the cause of your pain, you don't need to tell me anymore. I'll walk out of your life so that you can have peace again." Ginny said, her throat tight. So, all this time, she was the one that has been causing him to suffer…
"No, I don't want you to walk out of my life. In a way, you have brought me pain by causing me to remember my past, but at the same time, you had restored some of the happiness from the past."
Her throat loosened a bit. She suddenly felt cold despite the nearness of the fire.
"Listen closely, don't tell a soul, never tell anyone," his voice suddenly low and dangerous.
She nodded.
He breathed in deeply and began. "It all started when I was about seven…"
* * *
It had been two or three hours since he had begun telling his tale.
His voice was devoid of emotion for most of the part. His voice only began to change when he began talking about her.
Yes, her. The woman that had caused him to be like this.
She was the source of his change and his sorrow.
Callysta Veridienne Hope.
She was Draco's first love, yet she betrayed him.
Draco felt that everything was a lie. Nothing was real. Half his life was a lie. The worst part was that his happiness was a lie. The happiness came from her, which was a lie.
She caused a deep hole in him. She ended his happiness, ended his life. The hole or the darkness that she had caused in him started his new life.
A new life? What kind of life was this?
One of hate, betrayal, devoid of trust and love?
Ginny was beginning to see how it affected him so much in school. The earlier years in school was bearable enough. She never realized that he had a different life. He acted so differently in school than he actually was in the comforts of his home. But since he had witnessed the betrayal and lived the lie, things had started to change in him and that was when he was hard to bear with in school.
She felt so bad that she had judged him to be naturally evil and deceitful. It wasn't his fault.
Just as she played with his heart, he did the same with the other girls in school.
She was the cause of it all. She was the darkness within him. Even until now she still had a hold on him.
How was this related with the way he was acting now?
He did say that ever since he met her his memories started resurfacing. The more time he spent with her, the more he remembered and he hated remembering it. He came to confess of his hobby, what he had been doing. He admitted that she was his target. He explained to her as why he chose her. She was different from all others. She possessed qualities that he found intriguing and because of this, he wanted to have her.
But as he got closer to her, the old feeling of "love" started to resurface. He got scared that it might be leading to the same thing as before. He pushed it back and tried to forget, steeling his mind to just continue with the plan. But the harder he tried to forget, the more it clung on to him. How could he forget when she herself was portraying Callysta? He said that she was just like her in the sense of their persona, which was almost the same.
He didn't want to experience the same lie.
He was scared that this was a lie.
That's why he had to go on with the plan.
But once again, it was hard to forget because she was there.
He had wanted so much to believe that she was really real and not acting to care for him. He wanted to believe that she really did care for him, it wasn't an act to get something out of him.
He didn't tell her what his real feelings were for her. He was still fearful of what would happen. He didn't trust himself entirely and he didn't expect her to trust him because of what he has been doing in the past few years. All the more he didn't expect her to trust him because of the things he has been doing to her in the span that they had their little reunion.
* * *
It was nearing daybreak when Draco had finished.
No words were said between them as they went off to separate rooms to sleep.
Ginny had a lot on her mind.
Draco on the other hand felt as if everything he had was squeezed out. He felt drained and as limp as a noodle. In a strange way, he felt light as he went off to bed.
* * *
It was quiet in the Soulmate Realm, particularly within their share of the realm. Both were in opposite corners of the space they owned, huddled against the darkness, staring at each other.
They knew that his Reality finally admitted his past. They knew that her Reality knew about it.
The only thing left was for their Realities to sort things out. When they finally sort things out maybe that would be the time when the conscious and the subconscious would combine.
But why were they at opposite ends staring at each other?
Come now! I demand to know why you are acting this way. This is not the proper way for Soulmates to act! Your Realities are in more in tune with each other, isn't that you were hoping for? Isn't it what you wanted to achieve so that you may become one? Why do you sulk instead of rejoicing? I don't see the purpose in it.
Soulmates chose to ignore the God. They opted to continue to stare at each other. She was hugging her knees to her chest. He had a knee up and the other leg sprawled in front of him. His hand was resting on the propped knee.
Yes, why were they acting this way?
Maybe it was because they knew this was another problem for their Realities.
Now that her Reality knew that his Reality would have a hard time trusting, being cynical and hard to talk to, a lot problems would come their way. The more problems, the longer it would be for them to finally be one. Maybe it was a bad idea to tell her Reality his past…
As if the god read their minds:
These problems may cause pain, may cause suffering, but it would just bring your Realities closer to each other. These obstacles would strengthen their bond. These problems would make them find a solution. In order to find a solution, they must meet more often. And when they meet more often, feelings and emotions change, they grow stronger. Maybe in time while they are searching for the answers, his Reality would see the light. In time, the time spent with each other would lead them to fusing with you.
Though, I also know the other reason that troubles both of you.
Once your Realities realize that they are Soulmates, bound together throughout time, once they have fused with you, more problems would arise. It would be difficult for his Reality to accept that your Reality is his Soulmate on the count of the past. It would be more difficult because as his former love was just his love, you are his Soulmate. There is a great difference between the Love and the Soulmate. The Love would only last for a time, for one lifetime. A Soulmate lasts throughout the ages and eternity. Your souls are immortal. Even if your physical lives are over for the count, still you Souls will continue to find each other and stay bound to each other. It wouldn't matter if there is no physical image, what would matter is the Soul.
It made sense, what the god was saying.
It would be difficult.
But they really wanted their Realities to fuse with them. It was annoying just to see themselves as lights. They yearned for the time when they would be able to see each other completely. When this happens, they wouldn't have to wait for days to see each other again. They could do it in a snap whenever and wherever because they were finally connected.
'That was the beauty of it' as Apollo had once told them.
I'm sorry…She stood up shakily as she looked down at the darkness.
He didn't say anything but just went over to her side. He held her in his arms a she started to cry. He didn't know for what reason she was crying. There could've been a multitude of reasons as to why she was crying. He wanted to know but now was not the right time to ask such questions. To hold her was enough for him, she didn't need to voice out her anguish, just by looking or holding her was enough for him to know of her distress, her grief, her misery. He could feel it radiating from her like a negative flow, streaming from her in huge waves.
It was difficult for him.
All he could do was hold her and hoped that he was offering her comfort.
* * *
Dusk settled in…
She let out a huge yawn as she awoke the next morning. Her curtains were drawn, she was thankful for that. She wouldn't know what to do if a full stream of sunlight would hit her dead smack in the face. Maybe she would've have disintegrated like what vampires do when they were exposed to the light.
She chose to sleep some more. What time had she slept last night? Rather, what did she sleep earlier this morning? It was still pretty dark by the time she had crawled miserably into bed.
Miserably?
At the moment she couldn't remember what had taken place just a few hours ago.
She really didn't want to waste her brain cells trying to recall what it was. As it seemed, the few brain cells she had left weren't functioning as they were supposed to.
She groaned and flopped back unto her bed to get some more rest.
I wonder what time it is…what am I going to eat for breakfast…
BREAKFAST!
She sat blot right up in bed as all the events of the previous hours slammed into her brain.
Oh gods! Now I remember! She clutched her blanket to her chest.
She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling a dull ache start to emerge.
Oh gods. Yes, history did have a nasty little habit of repeating itself. Draco was here last night just as he was the first time. He was talking…yeah, talking about his problem. And his eyes! Yes, his eyes. They were beautiful and I wasn't dreaming. They really do change color with his emotions. It was a curse laid by---Callysta Veridienne Hope---his---love? Yes, she was his love and he thought that everything was a lie…Oh poor Draco…
She threw off her covers and went into the bathroom to clean her teeth and wash her face. She put on a bathrobe and padded toward the stairs in her cotton-lined slippers to make breakfast. Before she had reached the top of the stairs, she tuned around to look at the nearest door.
It wouldn't hurt to look.
She gently clutched her robe and tiptoed across the carpet to the room. She laid a hand on the doorknob and turned it silently, hoping not to disturb the occupant of the room. The door swung open without a sound. She peeked in and smiled to herself as she saw wisps of blond hair sticking out of the covers. She closed the door and quickly flew down the stairs as quietly as she could to make breakfast.
What she didn't know was that Draco was already awake. He was already awake even before she herself had woken up.
He felt as if he hadn't slept a wink, but he must have because his body felt the refreshing aftermath of a good sleep.
He remembered everything clearly. He didn't doubt his decision in telling her about his past and everything else she had wanted to know. If she could help him then telling her would not be in vain. He had her to look after him in the meantime…
In the meantime?
In the meantime before he finally found her…or at least he was sure that Ginny was really the fire in the darkness.
He didn't want to get hurt, wishing to believe that it really is her because he really needed someone to fill the void in him. He had written in his journal: Second chances were hard to come by because people nowadays were so untrusting, especially when they had their hearts broken once or twice.
A female heart is such a fragile thing.
The frightening was is that he didn't realize it until now that he wasn't only talking about Ginny; he was referring indirectly to himself. It was hard for him to love again because of what happened, he felt as if he could never trust anyone. There couldn't be love if there isn't trust. His heart was a fragile thing.
Who didn't to risk losing what was left of him. If he lost everything, what would be left? Who would be able to repair his soul? Who would be the one to reawaken him?
It would be impossible for such a person to exist…