Author's Notes: Okay so I'm sorry I didn't update yesterday, so today is a double update. I'll do one chapter this afternoon, and one this evening. It'll all even out. Please don't hate me... Okay so here are my thank-you's: Jennie, Lisa, IDontWriteIJustRead, Carbytrekie02, Helen, Catie, Honeybear1, Abby, Hyperpiper91, Amanda, Kattybaby2318 (read her fic, it's soo good, 9 Month's Loosing Something, after your done with this to continue the Carby high, or low, or whatever, but it's a great story..) and last but certainly not least, CarbyLuv... Thank you guys so much for reviewing and well I got this review from Amanda, and I was doing something that I was hoping NOT to do, so that's why this chapter gets interesting at the end, so Amanda, thank you for your review.. I hope you realize the change, and that you like it, along with everyone else. Thanks again. And my Screen name: ChaosTheory137 is always available along with email : ellaspyrka@yahoo.com if anyone ever needs anything :-)
~*~
She walked out of the room, still completely in shock. How? Why? She didn't expect his reaction either. She expected him to scream, to yell, to slap, to curse, anything but the simple statement she had just heard from him. What was going to happen now? Did he expect her to tell Nette and John the truth? Did he want to forget it all? Where did they stand? How was she going to find out what he wanted if they couldn't hold a conversation. She walked past the desk, quickly mumbling something about a break and headed to the roof to think.
The breeze hit her briskly, sending a chill down her spine. She wrapped her arms around her body, trying to keep warm, because in the midst of everything, a sweater or coat hadn't been her biggest concern. What was she supposed to do now?
She looked out at the lakefront, the sun making the water glimmer. And soon enough it was like her question had been answered. She heard footsteps behind her. She didn't want to turn around in fear.
"Let me see your arms."
It was said forcefully, like he had been trying to avoid saying it. Like a little kid who is forced to apologize, make up, and play nice. She didn't move.
"Abby, if I sprained your wrist, you shouldn't be working. You could endanger patients."
He pleaded those words with her. She knew he didn't exactly care. He's probably just doing it out of obligation. She felt his hand on her shoulder, gently, as if checking if it was okay, like you step on ice to see if it's stable before you fall through. He applied a slight force and spun her around to face him, gently this time. She felt his eyes burning into her. But she didn't look up. She was so close to him she could almost hear his heart beating. They both breathed heavily, showing up in the cold air. She felt him pry her arms away from their secure position, running a bone alignment and muscle tension check to make sure he hadn't done what he probably intended to, to hurt her.
"You're okay. Ice that wrist when you get home."
She somewhat emphatically lunged her arm back towards her. Not giving the slightest recognition to the grimice that appeared on her face from the pain. She heard him sigh deeply and heard the door slam. She heard another set of footsteps coming her way.
"You okay?"
She knew Susan stood behind her, but she didn't know how much she knew, or how pissed she must be at her.
"Why did you tell him?"
She waited for a response. The one she got wasn't the one she expected.
"He knows?"
Of course he knows. You should know he knows since your the one who told him.
"You knew I didn't want him to find out just yet. I trusted you!"
Her trust in people was always broken. Why did she even attempt to believe in someone?
"I didn't tell him."
Sure she didn't. Now what does she expect me to do? Give her a list of the people I've dated while in Boston so she can go run to John and tell him not to worry since she's only been with 3 guys in the entire ten years out there?
"Don't give me excuses, just tell me why you thought you could control fate?"
The last thing she wanted to hear was that she and Carter were meant to be together. They weren't. It didn't work out then. It defintely wouldn't work out now.
"Did you ask him how he knew?"
No. They couldn't hold a conversation. It was back and forth question and answer session or they avoided each other complete. Even today she hadn't said anything that she didn't deem extremely urgent to him.
"We can't hold a conversation. How the hell am I supposed to ask him how he knew?"
She felt a coat going around her shoulders. Well okay, maybe she could stay now. She hadn't realized how cold she was.
"You need to talk to him."
As if talking will really fix anything. They would probably end up fighting with each other, screaming and making a scene in the entire ER.
"He doesn't want to talk to me."
He didn't want to talk to her. That was the truth. And she really didn't want to talk to him either, it just sounded better that he didn't want to talk to her.
"You've got to give him a chance..."
Yeah. A chance. She gave him plenty of chances.
"When I said we needed to talk, he left and got on a plane to Africa... I'd rather just not say anything anymore."
She could still remember yelling after him, telling him to stay. Telling him they needed to talk. Begging him not to give up.
"Abby, he's changed. But his love for you hasn't. Even though you can't see it. It's killing him to hide it from you."
Oh yes, the fact that he almost broke her wrists in the suture room is a sure sign of love.
"He threw me against a gurney and practially broke both my wrists."
She felt the instant reflex of Susan's doctor mode kick in when she reached for her arms, but she kept them close to her chest.
"I'm fine. Just sore."
She saw the woman back away from her.
"Just talk to him."
She wasn't planning on talking to him unless she absolutely had to.
"Susan, do you mind just letting the idea of me and Carter together go? It's not going to happen."
It wasn't going to happen. They were just too different. They had given it a shot and it hadn't worked out. She wasn't planning to put herself, or her kids, through that endless torture again.
"And would you just get your head out of your ass and realize he loves you? I'm sick of him mopping around the damn hospital, like a dog without an owner, for 10 years. He can't move on because of you. It's not him, it's you. He knows what he wants. He knows that you were the best thing that ever happened to him and he knows that this is a second chance. It's you. It was always you. You need to get over yourself. You want a relationship to work? You've got to give him all you have, always. You can't shut yourself up, you can't leave him. You have to be there for him. Even if it's inconvienant for you. You've got to put him first. But of course, you won't because you are a selfish person who needs the pity of everyone, all the time..."
She heard the door slam. She was furious. How was she even able to say that. She thought Susan was her friend. Apparently people had changed, drastically. She got the feeling Susan would try to apologize later and blame it on the horomones or whatever. But it was over. Carter and her would never be together. They would never have what they had before. It was time to move on. She had. A long time ago. She had her kids to worry about. Nothing else mattered to her. She didn't need love. Love was a stupid illusion created in fairy tales and fiction to move the world along. Love was a mental game you played with yourself. You convinced youself to love. She didn't believe in it. Or soul mates. She only believed in happiness. And that was through her kids. Even friendship seemed like a joke to her now.
~*~
Sorry for the bottom author's notes but you guys we have to band together, I know some people aren't Carby supporters, but the ones that are keep on reading, we're trying to get them to change the way the relationship is going and emails don't seem to be working b/c they are so easy to delete or ignore. I'm hoping that if we can get enough letters to NBC studios maybe they will begin to listen. So if you can, just write a quick little note or letter and send it out to:
Viewer Relations
30 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY 10112
Thank you so much..
~*~
She walked out of the room, still completely in shock. How? Why? She didn't expect his reaction either. She expected him to scream, to yell, to slap, to curse, anything but the simple statement she had just heard from him. What was going to happen now? Did he expect her to tell Nette and John the truth? Did he want to forget it all? Where did they stand? How was she going to find out what he wanted if they couldn't hold a conversation. She walked past the desk, quickly mumbling something about a break and headed to the roof to think.
The breeze hit her briskly, sending a chill down her spine. She wrapped her arms around her body, trying to keep warm, because in the midst of everything, a sweater or coat hadn't been her biggest concern. What was she supposed to do now?
She looked out at the lakefront, the sun making the water glimmer. And soon enough it was like her question had been answered. She heard footsteps behind her. She didn't want to turn around in fear.
"Let me see your arms."
It was said forcefully, like he had been trying to avoid saying it. Like a little kid who is forced to apologize, make up, and play nice. She didn't move.
"Abby, if I sprained your wrist, you shouldn't be working. You could endanger patients."
He pleaded those words with her. She knew he didn't exactly care. He's probably just doing it out of obligation. She felt his hand on her shoulder, gently, as if checking if it was okay, like you step on ice to see if it's stable before you fall through. He applied a slight force and spun her around to face him, gently this time. She felt his eyes burning into her. But she didn't look up. She was so close to him she could almost hear his heart beating. They both breathed heavily, showing up in the cold air. She felt him pry her arms away from their secure position, running a bone alignment and muscle tension check to make sure he hadn't done what he probably intended to, to hurt her.
"You're okay. Ice that wrist when you get home."
She somewhat emphatically lunged her arm back towards her. Not giving the slightest recognition to the grimice that appeared on her face from the pain. She heard him sigh deeply and heard the door slam. She heard another set of footsteps coming her way.
"You okay?"
She knew Susan stood behind her, but she didn't know how much she knew, or how pissed she must be at her.
"Why did you tell him?"
She waited for a response. The one she got wasn't the one she expected.
"He knows?"
Of course he knows. You should know he knows since your the one who told him.
"You knew I didn't want him to find out just yet. I trusted you!"
Her trust in people was always broken. Why did she even attempt to believe in someone?
"I didn't tell him."
Sure she didn't. Now what does she expect me to do? Give her a list of the people I've dated while in Boston so she can go run to John and tell him not to worry since she's only been with 3 guys in the entire ten years out there?
"Don't give me excuses, just tell me why you thought you could control fate?"
The last thing she wanted to hear was that she and Carter were meant to be together. They weren't. It didn't work out then. It defintely wouldn't work out now.
"Did you ask him how he knew?"
No. They couldn't hold a conversation. It was back and forth question and answer session or they avoided each other complete. Even today she hadn't said anything that she didn't deem extremely urgent to him.
"We can't hold a conversation. How the hell am I supposed to ask him how he knew?"
She felt a coat going around her shoulders. Well okay, maybe she could stay now. She hadn't realized how cold she was.
"You need to talk to him."
As if talking will really fix anything. They would probably end up fighting with each other, screaming and making a scene in the entire ER.
"He doesn't want to talk to me."
He didn't want to talk to her. That was the truth. And she really didn't want to talk to him either, it just sounded better that he didn't want to talk to her.
"You've got to give him a chance..."
Yeah. A chance. She gave him plenty of chances.
"When I said we needed to talk, he left and got on a plane to Africa... I'd rather just not say anything anymore."
She could still remember yelling after him, telling him to stay. Telling him they needed to talk. Begging him not to give up.
"Abby, he's changed. But his love for you hasn't. Even though you can't see it. It's killing him to hide it from you."
Oh yes, the fact that he almost broke her wrists in the suture room is a sure sign of love.
"He threw me against a gurney and practially broke both my wrists."
She felt the instant reflex of Susan's doctor mode kick in when she reached for her arms, but she kept them close to her chest.
"I'm fine. Just sore."
She saw the woman back away from her.
"Just talk to him."
She wasn't planning on talking to him unless she absolutely had to.
"Susan, do you mind just letting the idea of me and Carter together go? It's not going to happen."
It wasn't going to happen. They were just too different. They had given it a shot and it hadn't worked out. She wasn't planning to put herself, or her kids, through that endless torture again.
"And would you just get your head out of your ass and realize he loves you? I'm sick of him mopping around the damn hospital, like a dog without an owner, for 10 years. He can't move on because of you. It's not him, it's you. He knows what he wants. He knows that you were the best thing that ever happened to him and he knows that this is a second chance. It's you. It was always you. You need to get over yourself. You want a relationship to work? You've got to give him all you have, always. You can't shut yourself up, you can't leave him. You have to be there for him. Even if it's inconvienant for you. You've got to put him first. But of course, you won't because you are a selfish person who needs the pity of everyone, all the time..."
She heard the door slam. She was furious. How was she even able to say that. She thought Susan was her friend. Apparently people had changed, drastically. She got the feeling Susan would try to apologize later and blame it on the horomones or whatever. But it was over. Carter and her would never be together. They would never have what they had before. It was time to move on. She had. A long time ago. She had her kids to worry about. Nothing else mattered to her. She didn't need love. Love was a stupid illusion created in fairy tales and fiction to move the world along. Love was a mental game you played with yourself. You convinced youself to love. She didn't believe in it. Or soul mates. She only believed in happiness. And that was through her kids. Even friendship seemed like a joke to her now.
~*~
Sorry for the bottom author's notes but you guys we have to band together, I know some people aren't Carby supporters, but the ones that are keep on reading, we're trying to get them to change the way the relationship is going and emails don't seem to be working b/c they are so easy to delete or ignore. I'm hoping that if we can get enough letters to NBC studios maybe they will begin to listen. So if you can, just write a quick little note or letter and send it out to:
Viewer Relations
30 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY 10112
Thank you so much..