Author's Notes: Quick shout outs, I promise. JANE: Keep on rambling... I love it, you know that! HELEN: You are my hero! Long reviews are the best. And Abbyisms is the coolest word I have ever heard.. hehehe LILY and TAMMI: Lemme know if ff.net is being mean to you and I can email you the chapters... And NOBODY, E, CATIE,COOL CAT, AND MAVEN: You guys rock my world! Thanks for reviewing!!! Done. That's it. I promise. So I don't know how this chapter is going to be since I'm not in a really good mood.. I just got into a huge fight with my boyfriend, John, (it's pure coincidence) and he wants me to stop playing basketball b/c he says we don't get to see each other enough. There is a slight age difference as well.. Sorry I"m babbling... Lemme just say, I'd rather kill myself than give up basketball. It's in my blood. I'm done. No more. Onward to the story... Sorry it's so short. Tell me what you think. I'm leaning towards Angsty, but whatever happens, happens... (HINT HINT)
~
She knew John wouldn't be the biggest fan of having Carter take them to school, but they needed to get to know him, as hard as that might be on her. They were his kids. His kids that she kept away from him. Guilt makes someone do crazy things. She packed up their lunches, ready to shoo them out the door, when John began walking to her, almost a terror like expression on his face.
"Mom, why aren't you taking us to school??"
His voice was pleading with her.
"I thought that you and Annette could get to know Carter better."
She looked for his reaction. So he planted himself right in front of her, arms crossed, determined look on his face.
"I'm not going unless it's with you."
She didn't know whether she wanted to comfort him and talk to him, or yell and threaten him. She looked at her watch, ten minutes after seven. She chose the latter.
"John Andrew Wyczenski, get yourself off that floor and out the door, NOW!"
She rarely yelled at her kids. She hadn't a need to. But when she did, both knew she meant buisness. And she also knew he was stubborn as an old stump. He had wiped that determined smirk off his face, and looked back at her with apologizing eyes, fear etched in them as well. But he didn't move.
"JOHN! NOW!"
Her voice was loud, but it disappeared near the end after all the yelling she did last night. He continued to sit there. They were going to be late. She heard Carter come in, probably wondering what all the commotion was about.
"Abby, is everything okay?"
She looked at him. No. Everything was not okay. She wouldn't have to go through with this had he not shown up in the first place.
"Does it look like everything's okay?"
She seemed angry. Scratch that. She was angry. Why couldn't her stubborness have skipped the family tree altogether?
"Why don't we take them together?"
She nodded her head. It was the only way out she had if she wanted to get them to school on time and be at work before Susan chewed her head off about being late. She looked at John, still sitting on the floor.
"You heard the man. Get going before I change my mind."
She helped him get up and as soon as he turned around she spanked him on his butt. Oh he knew what was doing, the little brat. He knew what cards to play. Why did her kids have to be so smart? She grabbed her purse off the kitchen counter and her coat from the hallway chair, and headed off after them. The walk to the twins school was a short one, a good morning stroll. From there, they would catch the El towards County. It was all perfectly worked out. She emerged from the building to find John waiting for her. She grabbed his hand.
"Come on kid, let's go."
He gave her a slight smile and headed off after Annette and Carter, who had gained quite a distance in a short amount of time. She could hear Annette telling him about some math test she had to take. John and Annette were in different classes, which was probably a good thing. Annette was enrolled in regular classes, while John was enrolled in the honors advanced program. They had a few general classes together, but they were usually seperated during the day. John being the younger one, always ended up helping Annette with her homework. It amazed her. They came from the same womb but they were so different in personality, and even in features. She enjoyed the silence with her son, it was comfortable. Normal. And she would give anything not to have him bring up anything involving Carter for the next, maybe 50 years or so.
They reached the school, a large 3 story building. It was public, selective, and it was only because of Michelle had she gotten them in. Michelle knew everyone in this town. It scared her sometimes. She was worse than the FBI if she wanted to be. Annette ran back to her, gave her a kiss, and headed over to Carter for another hug goodbye. She let go of John, and he gave her a hug and kiss. She watched them walk off towards the building together. As soon as she was sure they were inside, she began to walk towards Carter, and they headed off to the El.
"She's really something..."
She was knocked out of her thoughts by his random converstation starter.
"Yeah, she is. All she's missing is her own talk show."
She got a small laugh out of him. Then they went back to serious.
"Is everything alright with uhh, John...?"
Oh of course it is. He pulls tantrums like that every morning. He never listens. He's a problem child. Carter should think a little. He's bright, he got through med school. Or did he pay his way? Whatever it may be...
"He's just not used to being rushed into things."
He nodded his head.
"I heard you talking to him this morning."
She gave him a questioning expression. What? Now he was evesdropping on her conversations? Now she knew were Annette got that from. How this whole mess started in the first place.
"You had no right."
She saw him look down, like a dejected puppy.
"I know.. But I walked in to get some coffee, and I didn't know you two were in there. It was a mistake..."
Mmhhmm. Mistakes. He must make alot of mistakes.
"He's not going to warm up to you if you don't respect him."
He was playing with his bag, pushing the edges back and forth.
"I don't know what to do anymore. It hurts so much that my own son doesn't acknowledge me."
She couldn't see that well, since he had moved his head away, but she thought she had seen tears brimming his eyes. She grabbed his hand, and gave it a light squeeze.
"It'll just take time."
She saw him nodd his head slightly.
"Time is about all I have..."
She saw he was in pain. God, why did this have to be so complicated. Why couldn't everyone just get along? She took the hand she had been holding, and pulled it into her lap, and she held it with both hands, running over his knuckles with her fingers.
"I'm sorry. I never knew how much they would mean to you."
He was just starring out into space, the words coming out like on autopilot.
"My life changed the day I found out. I was a father. I loved them without even knowing them."
She closed her eyes. What was she supposed to say to that.
"Better than love at first sight, huh?"
She needed something to break the tension, something easy, lighthearted.
"I would exactly say that. I fell in love with you at first sight. And that was the best thing that ever happened to me."
He was still starring out into the unknown, looking extremely concentrated on a chair, but she knew he was in a completely different world. She saw him snap out of it, shaking his head. He looked at her, and looked away. She was still caressing his hand, but she let go suddenly, as if his touch were fire. His hand still laid in her lap. She regained enough inside herself to intertwine her fingers within his, a simple little weave. With her other hand, she picked his chin up, making him look at her, not beyond her, but at her. She cocked her head to the side, a smile forming on both their lips. She moved in, this time she was in control. Of her intentions, of her emotions, of him. A small, delicate kiss, a little nibble on the lips. She pulled away, just to see him captivating the moment. She looked up and saw that they were almost at the hospital. The train just began to stop, and the door began to open as she got up, and headed out the door. But right before she did, she muttered a short, small statement to him, nothing fancy.
"We were a disaster..."
She paused looking over at him, who had just begun to stand up. He was looking intently at her.
"A beautiful disaster."
With that she walked out the door. She didn't look back, she knew she needed him to follow her rules. She had so much at stake right now. Too much. She shouldn't have even done that. But it just felt right. Like breathing. It was a tease, a jumble of emotions going haywire. The shock and frustration just coming out. They knew it from the beginning. They were never meant to be. It was nice while it lasted, but they both needed to get over this sudden display of emotions. She needed to concentrate on John and Annette. Not Carter. He was in the past. Not the future.
~
She knew John wouldn't be the biggest fan of having Carter take them to school, but they needed to get to know him, as hard as that might be on her. They were his kids. His kids that she kept away from him. Guilt makes someone do crazy things. She packed up their lunches, ready to shoo them out the door, when John began walking to her, almost a terror like expression on his face.
"Mom, why aren't you taking us to school??"
His voice was pleading with her.
"I thought that you and Annette could get to know Carter better."
She looked for his reaction. So he planted himself right in front of her, arms crossed, determined look on his face.
"I'm not going unless it's with you."
She didn't know whether she wanted to comfort him and talk to him, or yell and threaten him. She looked at her watch, ten minutes after seven. She chose the latter.
"John Andrew Wyczenski, get yourself off that floor and out the door, NOW!"
She rarely yelled at her kids. She hadn't a need to. But when she did, both knew she meant buisness. And she also knew he was stubborn as an old stump. He had wiped that determined smirk off his face, and looked back at her with apologizing eyes, fear etched in them as well. But he didn't move.
"JOHN! NOW!"
Her voice was loud, but it disappeared near the end after all the yelling she did last night. He continued to sit there. They were going to be late. She heard Carter come in, probably wondering what all the commotion was about.
"Abby, is everything okay?"
She looked at him. No. Everything was not okay. She wouldn't have to go through with this had he not shown up in the first place.
"Does it look like everything's okay?"
She seemed angry. Scratch that. She was angry. Why couldn't her stubborness have skipped the family tree altogether?
"Why don't we take them together?"
She nodded her head. It was the only way out she had if she wanted to get them to school on time and be at work before Susan chewed her head off about being late. She looked at John, still sitting on the floor.
"You heard the man. Get going before I change my mind."
She helped him get up and as soon as he turned around she spanked him on his butt. Oh he knew what was doing, the little brat. He knew what cards to play. Why did her kids have to be so smart? She grabbed her purse off the kitchen counter and her coat from the hallway chair, and headed off after them. The walk to the twins school was a short one, a good morning stroll. From there, they would catch the El towards County. It was all perfectly worked out. She emerged from the building to find John waiting for her. She grabbed his hand.
"Come on kid, let's go."
He gave her a slight smile and headed off after Annette and Carter, who had gained quite a distance in a short amount of time. She could hear Annette telling him about some math test she had to take. John and Annette were in different classes, which was probably a good thing. Annette was enrolled in regular classes, while John was enrolled in the honors advanced program. They had a few general classes together, but they were usually seperated during the day. John being the younger one, always ended up helping Annette with her homework. It amazed her. They came from the same womb but they were so different in personality, and even in features. She enjoyed the silence with her son, it was comfortable. Normal. And she would give anything not to have him bring up anything involving Carter for the next, maybe 50 years or so.
They reached the school, a large 3 story building. It was public, selective, and it was only because of Michelle had she gotten them in. Michelle knew everyone in this town. It scared her sometimes. She was worse than the FBI if she wanted to be. Annette ran back to her, gave her a kiss, and headed over to Carter for another hug goodbye. She let go of John, and he gave her a hug and kiss. She watched them walk off towards the building together. As soon as she was sure they were inside, she began to walk towards Carter, and they headed off to the El.
"She's really something..."
She was knocked out of her thoughts by his random converstation starter.
"Yeah, she is. All she's missing is her own talk show."
She got a small laugh out of him. Then they went back to serious.
"Is everything alright with uhh, John...?"
Oh of course it is. He pulls tantrums like that every morning. He never listens. He's a problem child. Carter should think a little. He's bright, he got through med school. Or did he pay his way? Whatever it may be...
"He's just not used to being rushed into things."
He nodded his head.
"I heard you talking to him this morning."
She gave him a questioning expression. What? Now he was evesdropping on her conversations? Now she knew were Annette got that from. How this whole mess started in the first place.
"You had no right."
She saw him look down, like a dejected puppy.
"I know.. But I walked in to get some coffee, and I didn't know you two were in there. It was a mistake..."
Mmhhmm. Mistakes. He must make alot of mistakes.
"He's not going to warm up to you if you don't respect him."
He was playing with his bag, pushing the edges back and forth.
"I don't know what to do anymore. It hurts so much that my own son doesn't acknowledge me."
She couldn't see that well, since he had moved his head away, but she thought she had seen tears brimming his eyes. She grabbed his hand, and gave it a light squeeze.
"It'll just take time."
She saw him nodd his head slightly.
"Time is about all I have..."
She saw he was in pain. God, why did this have to be so complicated. Why couldn't everyone just get along? She took the hand she had been holding, and pulled it into her lap, and she held it with both hands, running over his knuckles with her fingers.
"I'm sorry. I never knew how much they would mean to you."
He was just starring out into space, the words coming out like on autopilot.
"My life changed the day I found out. I was a father. I loved them without even knowing them."
She closed her eyes. What was she supposed to say to that.
"Better than love at first sight, huh?"
She needed something to break the tension, something easy, lighthearted.
"I would exactly say that. I fell in love with you at first sight. And that was the best thing that ever happened to me."
He was still starring out into the unknown, looking extremely concentrated on a chair, but she knew he was in a completely different world. She saw him snap out of it, shaking his head. He looked at her, and looked away. She was still caressing his hand, but she let go suddenly, as if his touch were fire. His hand still laid in her lap. She regained enough inside herself to intertwine her fingers within his, a simple little weave. With her other hand, she picked his chin up, making him look at her, not beyond her, but at her. She cocked her head to the side, a smile forming on both their lips. She moved in, this time she was in control. Of her intentions, of her emotions, of him. A small, delicate kiss, a little nibble on the lips. She pulled away, just to see him captivating the moment. She looked up and saw that they were almost at the hospital. The train just began to stop, and the door began to open as she got up, and headed out the door. But right before she did, she muttered a short, small statement to him, nothing fancy.
"We were a disaster..."
She paused looking over at him, who had just begun to stand up. He was looking intently at her.
"A beautiful disaster."
With that she walked out the door. She didn't look back, she knew she needed him to follow her rules. She had so much at stake right now. Too much. She shouldn't have even done that. But it just felt right. Like breathing. It was a tease, a jumble of emotions going haywire. The shock and frustration just coming out. They knew it from the beginning. They were never meant to be. It was nice while it lasted, but they both needed to get over this sudden display of emotions. She needed to concentrate on John and Annette. Not Carter. He was in the past. Not the future.