Title: More Than You'll Ever Know
Summary: All Adam's dad wants is for Adam to make pro-hockey. All Adam ever wanted was a friend. A friend to stick by him. He'd lost one before, and when she comes back, sparks fly, but not for the better.
Main Duck: Adam Banks
Rating: PG-13 for language and later violence
Time frame: After D2, before and during D3 maybe after D3 if I feel like it and if you give me reviews =p
Author's Note (more like plead): Thanks for all your reviews: Emma Conners (Your story is awesome!), and Momo (I know it's going a little slow, but bear with me. Thanks for sticking with me though!) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!!
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own 'em. I just own Jessica, Ethan, Sally, Jason, and Andrew.
This chapter: Adam has a little confrontation with Jessica.
Adam
"Banks, I'm open!"
"Banks, shoot!"
"Banks!"
I didn't know who was calling me or what I was going to do. 'Calm down, Adam. It's a street hockey pick-up game.' I kept telling myself, but something was bothering me. What was that nagging feeling at the back of my head? And why wouldn't it just let me play the stupid game?
"Ducks!" we all turned. It was Coach Bombay, smiling somewhat broadly.
"Hey, Coach!"
"What's up, Bombay?" were the general responses as we skated up to him.
"I have some news!"
"Yeah? We're all ears," Charlie prodded. Now Bombay got serious, "Last night, I got a phone call and it basically stated that my son and his sister need a legal guardian. So, I agreed. You're looking at a proud father now." That was met with a shocked silence. Son? Since when did Bombay have a son? This was definitely something.
"Uh…coach? I thought you never married…" Fulton trailed off.
"I never married, you're right Fulton. But I had a girlfriend…" He told us the whole story of how to oldest boy was born and then how she, the girlfriend, had another child, a girl this time. The second child didn't belong to him, but we weren't supposed to say anything about that, he'd told us. They had been abused by their mother and their mom was finally caught and thrown into rehabilitation for drug and alcohol abuse. I was glad. Anyone who would do that to any kid was out of their minds and needed to be corrected or thrown behind closed bars. I felt bad for these kids.
"Where are they?" I asked when he finished.
"Back at their house setting up their mom's old room for me. They gave me the address and they said they knew how to get back. Apparently, they know the neighborhood so they're coming to meet you guys here." As if on cue, two people walked onto the blacktop. The girl froze when she saw me and I probably did the same.
"Jessica," I gulped.
"Adam," she bit her lip nervously. Coach looked surprised, "Oh you know each other?"
"You could say that," she walked to her brother, Ethan.
"At least we used to," I muttered. Coach didn't seem to get it. Smiling, I greeted Ethan, "Ethan! What's up?" He slapped me a high-five, "Hey Banks!" Coach looked confused so Ethan said, "The three of us used to play on the same hockey team."
"The Hawks?" Charlie cut in. We nodded. Uh-oh. This would cause a little trouble.
"What?" Luis, Dwayne, Russ, and Julie looked puzzled.
"Hawks, rival team in pee-wees. They were always really mean to us." They nodded.
"Well guys," I defended Ethan, "Ethan already stopped playing hockey and turned to football when we faced you guys that year you switched to Ducks." They nodded. Jessica seemed to be uncomfortable just standing there. Coach told us he had to leave to sign papers and gave Ethan and Jessica instructions to be home at seven.
After he left, I turned to Jessica, "So how's Zak?" I knew it was mean and unreasonable, but it was irresistible.
"Why do you wanna know?" She shot back.
"Because I know that I can say 'I told you so' when I find out."
"Yeah? Well he moved, so what's there left for you to say, huh Adam?"
"Jessica, you never were one to stand up for yourself. I bet it's an all out lie, what you just told me."
"You never were one to be stupid. But ever since the Junior Goodwill Games, I'm not so sure anymore. I mean, who would be stupid enough to stick their hand out to have a hockey stick be broken over it?"
"Yeah? You think you're so good at hockey? Well here's a secret. The only reason Reilly let you play was because of Ethan. Not because you had talent!" She was getting me mad now. I guess I was getting her just as mad, but it wasn't even an argument anymore. It was more of an 'I'm better than you' grudge contest.
"You're not that great either, Mr. I'm too good for everyone. You just seem as if you're great because of your father and his bribes. Otherwise, you'd never be where you are today!" Oh now she was asking for it. I threw down my equipment and skates. She dropped her back-pack.
The Ducks moved back, as if afraid to interfere. Ethan stepped in between us, "Hey!" But he was ignored. We were too involved in staring each other to death to even notice that anyone was even around us. I think both of us lunged at each other at the same time, swearing and punching the other. I don't think we ever made contact with each other because to tell you the truth, I could never hit a girl, even if it was Jessica Mor…I mean Bombay. And Jessica was never the fighting type and she wouldn't hurt a fly. Finally fed up, Ethan yelled, "STOP!" Jessica and I stopped screaming, our fists stopped flying and we faced Ethan and the now terrified Ducks.
"Look you two obviously have your differences. What happened after the Junior Goodwill games two summers ago is all in the past. Can't you put that behind you?" Ethan asked, almost pleading.
"No," we said simply in unison. Ethan threw his bag onto the floor and slumped against the fence in exasperation. Now Charlie tried to take charge, "Okay well maybe it would help if you talked about it with us." I couldn't help but laugh, "Me talk to her? Like, in a civilized way?" Charlie nodded. I rolled my eyes, "Sorry I'll pass."
"Is talking to each other that bad?" Jesse Hall asked. I felt a pang of guilt because Jesse, my best friend, was moving in a few days to a town about an hour away. And all I was doing was yelling at an ex-friend. Either Jessica or I spoke. Finally, Jessica picked up her bag in anger and stormed away, upset.
"Sorry," Ethan apologized.
"No!" Jessica screamed from the other side of the fence, "Ethan, don't apologize for me! Adam thinks he's so superior to me just because he joined his Duckie friends. I don't think he realized what a total asshole he'd turned into after winning the gold for the USA!" She ran this time and nobody stopped her. I saw the look of pure hatred wash over Fulton's eyes.
"Fulton, don't," I sighed. Ethan waved as he retreated. Fulton listened to me. Before a word could be said, I told the other Ducks I had to leave.
Back at my house, my mind raced with memories of Jessica and I together as best friends. They were all triggered by her appearance that day and I think that was the only thing I liked about having her around at that point. They were good memories from being a Hawk, some of the only good ones. There were so many, especially when Jessica stood by me after I joined the Ducks.
*Flashback*
Even though they didn't know it, I was listening to their conversation from behind my porch.
"I still don't get why you're so stuck on getting Banks to play!" McGill's voice whined.
"Just because he doesn't wear our uniform doesn't mean he can't be our friend!" I heard a female voice shoot back. I cautiously peered over the hedge. There stood Jessica glaring at McGill. The rest of the Hawks stood by watching, not wanting to interfere.
"Look Jessica, Banks left us. He's a traitor!" McGill pointed out. I wanted to punch him, but couldn't, considering my position.
"He has a first name, you know!" Jessica shouted hotly.
"I don't recall him having one, sorry!"
"Barry, you are so shallow! Don't you know what a great friend Adam has been to us? What about the time when that girl stood you up? Who was there for you?" This was met by silence.
"That's right," Jessica continued, "Adam. So why can't you make amends even if he joined the Ducks?"
"Because he ain't a Hawk!" I sighed inwardly. McGill was being stubborn and he knew it.
"FINE! If you're gonna be that way, I'm not playing!" I heard a clatter of equipment and saw her throw everything- her gear and her stick- to the ground. Shaking her head slightly, Jessica skated towards my house. As silently as I could I ran back into my house. A few moments later, she knocked. After that day, we were closer than ever.
*End Flashback*
I sighed, admitting to myself that I really did like Jessica more than I thought. I just didn't understand why she didn't trust me. She didn't then and Jessica still didn't now. But before I could start feeling guilty, anger started to rush through me. If she hadn't been so bitchy today, I wouldn't have jerked off. But then again…
"DAMN!" I slammed my fist through the window, breaking glass. (I guess hockey did something for my strength…)
"Adam? What's wrong?" my brother Andrew knocked on my door.
"Nothing," I said through clenched teeth.
"Can I come in?" I figured that I might as well let him in since he'd bust in if I didn't.
"Yeah." Andrew came in and gaped at the scene, "A-Adam, sit down for a minute…sit on the bed." I obediently sat down. Andrew busily rushed to get ace bandages to wrap my hand in.
"What happened today, bro?" he asked.
"Nothing really." I protested. But my brother was like my best friend, "Come on Adam. You know I know you're lying." When all I did was stare at the ground, Andrew knelt down in front of me, "Look, I'm leaving for college the same day you go to Eden Hall. At least let me leave knowing you're somewhat happy."
I swallowed, "I just saw Jessica again, that's all. She got me madder than I thought she would. It's like everything we've been through, Hawks and all, just washed away. Like we were never best friends at one point and like she turned into one of them. A typical ex-Hawk." I confessed. Sure we'd fought, what kind of friendship survives if there's no fighting, but we always made-up. This time it was different. It had already been 2 years. I lost one of my best friends. For good.
"Adam, I have to admit, I've never felt that way before. But maybe this is a learning experience for the both of you. Maybe it's just a big fight that'll blow over soon. If you guys get through this one, your friendship is golden. Talk to her in a civilized manner, okay?"
"Okay," I nodded. The door slammed in the front hall, signaling that my dad was home. Andrew patted my shoulder and left me to myself. It's not to say that I don't love my dad because I do. It's just that he gets way too over-excited about my hockey career. Of course I want to make the NHL. It's been my life long dream. Except, I want to enjoy getting there. I want to feel the excitement. But my dad doesn't understand that and half the time, I don't expect him to ever get it.
At the dinner table, the talk was of hockey, naturally. Andrew rolled his eyes when dad started making a big deal about me and Eden Hall hockey.
"Dad, I'll be okay, really. I'm not going to let you down. Come on, when have I let you down?" I asked him. Obviously, I let him down many times and I knew my question was stupid. I knew it so shrinking back I muttered, "Stupid question." Just loud enough for everyone to hear.
The first time I let my dad down was when I joined the Ducks over not playing hockey at all. But I couldn't just stop playing because I would have felt like a part of me was gone. The second time was when I sprained my wrist at the Junior Goodwill Games. The scouts were everywhere and my dad was counting on me. Even though he said it was alright, disappointment gleamed through his eyes.
"Adam, you haven't let me down. You just haven't had the best of luck. I know that you'll be fine at Eden Hall. I just want so much to see you achieve that dream of yours." I nodded my head. Dinner was pretty quiet after that.
In bed that night, I tossed and turned, leading my thoughts to my…friends. They were all at Jessica's welcome party. I just didn't want to go and although Jesse, who called me, said he understood, he obviously didn't. The day before, Charlie assured me that what I did as a 10 year-old Hawk was forgotten. But was it really? Guy, Averman, Goldberg, Portman, Luis, Ken, Dwayne, and sometimes Julie didn't really trust me. Although they cared and stuff, they still questioned me whenever the subject of the Hawks was brought up or we talk about pee-wees or any Hawks come by. After the Ducks told the newcomers about my wonderful Hawk rep, they shied away from me as if I'd backstab them. They were all like a clique. As soon as a person did one thing wrong or unloyal, they dumped you. Of course, they'd take you back after you've groveled and begged, but there would be that mistrust. Maybe that was just me or maybe it wasn't. I'd never know. Charlie was there from the start, Jesse and Fulton gained trust at the Pee-wee state champs, Connie didn't really care, and Julie wavered between the lines. But Connie was always with Guy, as Fulton was with Portman. Julie lived in Maine and Charlie hung-out with Russ more and more everyday. Jesse and I ended up being pretty close and we hung-out whenever we could, which was not often since we weren't exactly neighbors. This left me to spending quality time with myself.
Maybe I was asking for it, hell, I probably was, but then again, I was shy. All my life, I had never been one to ask if I could play. That was the one thing, on top of millions of others, that I hated the most. Especially since the Hawk incident. I had clammed up and became a hermit crab. In fact, Jessica, Connie, Tammie, Julie, and my mom were the only five females I'd ever interacted with. As for males, only the rest of the Ducks, my dad, and brother. Hard as I tried, I couldn't leave the hermit shell. But I thought, 'If they're really your friends, they'd try harder to get you out of the shell wouldn't they?' I shook my head and whispered bitterly, "Way to go Adam. You barely have friends and it's your own fault." I drifted into uneasy sleep.