AN/ Hello, happy 'Yasha people! Originally this fic was written in 2003 and worked on for some time before I abruptly, erm, died. So I have begun to rewrite it and it's much better. I'll definitely be slow updating this so sorry in advance, but I'm not gonna lie. Anyways, I have a prologue now (which it definitely didn't have before) and I've decided to throw it out there. The original chapters will still be available and will change to the new as I finish them, edit them, and all that yadda yadda. You'll know when the chapter is new. It'll be much better. Anyways, I'm outtie for now. See you at the end.
Disclaimer: Inuyasha and its characters and its plot and Sesshoumaru are not mine. Sesshoumaru and the rest all belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Seriously. I do not own Sesshoumaru. Damn.
Lessons in Trust: The Miko and the Taiyoukai
Rewritten
By: Honourable Fool
Prologue
Doubt is an old friend I know well. It has spent many long years gnawing away at my heart until it has eaten up a hole there in which to nestle its bloated body, cradled in the tender flesh it draws upon for sustenance. Once it was foreign to me. Once I was a child, confidant and brave and filled with love. But then the love I thought I had… it was gone. A wind sighed through my kitchen window one day and breathed away the presence I had put all my faith in. And just like that he was snuffed out, gone from life, never to return. I didn't know that then, though. I was a faithful child. I sat at my window, looking out at the ancient, gnarled tree on the far side of the courtyard, and waited. I wonder, now, for how many years I looked, pleading with the Tokyo skies to breathe that wind back my way, that he might return. I know it was a year before I first felt the tentative bites of doubt, tasting my heart for tenderness and flavor. He must have liked what he tasted.
From that moment on doubt was a frequent visitor, always eating his fill, and leaving without word or thanks. I used to wonder if he would not just come to stay. And then I fell down a well.
Now, I shouldn't say 'fell' necessarily, because it was more like dragged. Of course, you might question, "How exactly does one get dragged down a well?" It's quite simple, really. It was a mononoke in the form of a giant centipede with the upper body and head of a very ugly woman. It's difficult now to remember exactly what happened, but suffice to say her skeleton managed to snag me and tear at a secret jewel hidden in my side. This jewel not only revived her but transported us both back 500 years into the Sengoku Jidai. That was how I fell in love.
I met a hanyou there with white, furry dog ears and fierce amber eyes. He was coarse and rude and stubborn as all hell, but I loved him. I loved his rough, red haori, the texture so like his personality. I loved his random kindness, not as gentle as I could wish for. I loved his determination, though it bordered on stupidity. I loved him from the moment he begged me to pull the arrow from his heart. Young and naïve, I think I thought that I could heal his heart if over time I poured enough love and caring and gentle words into the wound. This was how doubt made a home in my heart. My devotion to Inuyasha was a feast for the little bugger and he gorged himself delightedly. But still I did not abandon him. You see, I was destined for him and he for me. I had the soul of his former love, how could he not belong to me? I was her reincarnation. Surely I was meant for the same man.
Surely I was wrong. Similar as I was to the woman known as Kikyou, we were not the same. We could never be the same. But I misunderstood this truth as the whispers of doubt, and he only grinned toothily around the remains of his feast and sought to suck up every last crumb.
I was a foolish girl who understood nothing of myself nor of anyone else. I fell in love with a man, no, a half-demon with a hole in his heart and thought that I could mend it. He proved to me that I was not for him. He chose her over me.
When it happened, I knew, I saw, how much of a fool I was. I should have seen it coming. But I refused to listen to my doubt. Now though… now I understand. Doubt plagued every minute of my relationship with Inuyasha. I thought it was only natural. But I have never doubted him. I did not doubt him 500 years ago and I do not doubt him now.
Tokyo is strange to me after so long in the Sengoku Jidai. Sometimes I find myself staring out over the city and trying to trace the remains of Edo, the ancient village I knew so well. But any bones that might have survived are long gone, destroyed by war and advancement, eaten away by time. I sit at my window again, looking out at the gnarled Goshinboku as I did when I was a child. I sit and sigh at the Tokyo sky, begging not for a wind but for a storm, lightening streaking across the western skies, hiding the bloody trail of the setting sun beneath thundering brows. That is what I wish for and in my heart there is no doubt.
Souta pities me. I can see it in his eyes when he's looking away or when he thinks I'm not looking. I can smell it on him when I sigh and see it in the set of his body. He does not believe my assertion. But I have no doubt. He does not understand how 500 years ago the creature known as doubt was torn from my heart by delicate clawed fingers. He did not feel the lifting of my soul as I stared into that golden abyss, teetering on that silver edge. And he does not need to. I will wait for him and he will come for me. For doubt has no part in our lives.
AN/ Well, I hope you liked. Me? I've gotta go work on ch.1 Should have Listened to Shippou. I'm still at the beginning of the chapter, but it is so improved! Anyways, drop me a line and tell me what you thought. And don't worry, the subsequent chapters are gonna get much better! As always, thanks to Inazuma-sama for her five star rating system. Now use it people!
Inazuma Akai's 5 Star Rating System for Fanfiction:
1 star – This fic is unreadable! Get a beta-reader stat!
2 stars – This story needs a face-lift in the worst possible way…
3 stars – Not bad, but with a little more effort you can make it a really good fic.
4 stars – There are some minor errors here and there but otherwise it's a very nice fic!
5 stars – It's an exceptional work of art! More, please?
TTFN