This song title is from Celine Dion's Falling Into You CD. I don't think it works all that well, but the song would only get in the way regardless, so it's not here. Anyway, just so you know.
Daisy: Yes, aren't they. *smiles brilliantly* Thanks.
Gionareth: Hm, torture the readers, a new idea. Not entirely my aim. Hehe. This is soon. *g*
Steph-h: lol. Well. Does that mean you liked it?
Mirax: lol, well, if you knew where I was, it wouldn't be hard to find. Everything's all in the same place to make posting easier. Who said Elrond doesn't think more about his twin? Can't have the thoughts if they have no relevance to the fic, you know. *g* lol. Wait til you see how I finished this one. You'll likely be all day thinking about it anyway, but here it is. I hope you get it before tomorrow. *smiles*
Grumpy: Yep, too much to hope that he cleaned up. Far too much. And you forgot a qualifier. Tired. And here it is, ready and waiting. Wish I could say the same next chapter, but maybe by this time tomorrow, I'll be able to. *g*
Okay, everybody. Have fun. Read, enjoy, review. Get posts sooner. I need your inspiration for this one. *g* lol. Remember how reviews get posts quicker? They also help me write faster. . . .
If That's What It Takes
Arwen continued forward slowly, her gaze fixed before her so she would not be tempted to stay, would not risk causing her father more pain than he felt already. But all her good intentions failed when she heard a familiar sound approaching quickly through the trees. Thinking perhaps to see her brothers, she turned.
"Arwen!"
For a suspended moment, she felt nothing; no pain, no happiness, no sorrow, no emotion at all. Aragorn was once more before her, followed distantly by the twins, and the protective wall around her dissolved, destroyed in a confused rush of emotions that plunged her into icy pain. Unable to bear looking at him, she turned away.
"Arwen, wait!" he cried, nearer now, but she could not.
Aragorn pulled his steed up abruptly when he was near her and slid off his horse's back before the creature had even come to a complete stop. He stumbled forward on legs that refused to hold his weight, then dropped to his knees and tried one last plea to get her to wait. "Tinuviel! Please. . . ." He waited with baited breath as the pure white steed the elf-maiden rode eased to a stop, and the lady from his dreams turned slowly to face him.
Arwen closed her eyes, tears slipping down her cheeks. That name, he had to use that name. Against her will, she turned to face him, unable to resist the desperate call that had started everything, for better or worse. When she did, her eyes fell on a pathetic sight. Before her, the proud king of men stood on his knees, heedless of the dirt that now marred his clothes, already rumpled and dirty from hard riding, chest heaving with heavy breaths, face pale enough to be a wraith and marred with black half-moons beneath his eyes. But it was his eyes that held her, avid silver, as sure as she had ever seen them, pleading she wait.
In the back of her mind, she was aware of Elladan and Elrohir coming up at a saner pace behind the human, and of her father standing nearby, but she never moved her eyes from Aragorn, and he never dropped his gaze from hers. Her mind screamed at her to turn and continue, leave him in the dirt, but she could not. With a weariness she could not remember having felt before, she slid from her horse and stood before him. Then she lifted her chin, and waited.
Relief flooded through him when he saw Arwen slide to the ground and face him. He knew elven etiquette well enough to know he had been given permission to come closer and address her. He tried to stand, but he had pushed his body too hard for too long and had not the strength to lift him. His legs trembled beneath him but would not propel him up. The man sensed movement behind him and knew one of his brothers were likely coming to help him up, but he did not want help; he had not needed it to hurt Arwen. Swallowing the last of his pride, he began to crawl.
Arwen drew in a startled breath when Aragorn did not rise, but instead rocked forward and began to make his way towards her on his hands and knees, an action she could not imagine from him, one she knew had to bruise his pride terribly. Surprised gasps and quiet murmurs behind her told her that the other elves had returned to see what was wrong when neither Elrond nor Arwen continued in after them.
Aragorn never faltered, nor looked up, merely continued his slow path and Arwen was seized with the urge to stop him, to force him to his feet and halt this degredation. But pain rooted her to her spot and she did not move. Breathing hard, she looked down at him when he stopped barely two feet before her and eased back up on his knees.
The space between him and Arwen seemed to grow, but Aragorn refused to stop and admit defeat. So when he heard the gasps of others, he did not glance up lest his courage fail him and defeat be his before the battle was even over. He needed to tell her he loved her, that he always ahad, and though he still did not know how to say it, he had to make her understand the truth before she left.
He saw her feet before his eyes and stopped, slowly rocking back to his knees so he could look up into her lovely face and stare into her deep blue eyes. The silvery streaks of tears down her cheeks and the sorrow in her eyes did nothing to detract from her beauty, merely make it more heart-wrenching to behold, and words would not come. Silence stretched between them.
Arwen found her voice first, the silence too much for her to bear on top of everything else. "Speak, good King," she bid, her voice not quite steady as she clasped slightly trembling hands before her.
His mouth opened and closed, then he inched forward and spread his hands as if helpless. "I'm sorry, Arwen," he began. She just blinked. "I am so very sorry. I hurt you. I'm sorry I drove you away. I'm sorry I'm weak and stupid and foolish and Edain. Sorry I can't give you everything you deserve." He blinked back tears rapidly and swallowed hard. "I'm sorry you loved me, that we came between you and your father, that you feel such pain because of me. I'm sorry paain is your reward for caring, for loving, a mortal." He paused and took a deep breath, seeming to brace himself for a difficult task, then continued a bit slower, mostly calm. "I'm sorry to have interrupted your journey, sorry to be keeping you here in pain, but I could not let you leave until I told you. . . ."
"Told me what?" she asked, her tone no different than Aragorn's had been when the twins had brought her up back at the palace.
And like the twins, had to pause a moment before answering, but not for the same reasons. He had not expected she would let him continue and had to re-order his thoughts. He licked his lips nervously before speaking. "Told you that I love you."
Arwen stared at him, the words slicing through her heart with a double-edged sword of happiness and pain. Her eyes narrowed, anger over-riding both. "You love me," she repeated, her voice level with a hint of danger behind her tone. Most would have cowered, but Aragorn already had nothing else to lose and expected the worse she could give.
He did not so much as blink, and confirmed, "I love you."
For a moment, she stood still, like the words meant nothing to her, then something in her snapped and fury coursed throug her. "You don't love me!" she cried. "You never did. If you loved me, you would not have pushed me away. You would not have acted like we meant nothing! If you loved me, you would have married me."
"Without a second thought," he answered. She turned then and stalked away, her face set. Painfully, unsteadily, Aragorn forced himself to his feet and followed her, stumbling as he did so. "I would give you anything you desire."
Arwen stopped and turned back to face him, a strange expression on her face as she took in the wavering man before her. "Anything?"
"Anthing that is within my power to give," he said. His eyes focused on the blue that stared back at him so intently, and his heart quivered at the thought of what she might ask. He waited, struggling to keep his legs from dropping him to the ground. If he fell, he did not think he would be able to get back up.
"If I asked you to go," she said, "if I asked you to leave and never return, would you go?"
Tears threatened, tears he had not cried except in sleep, and he blinked them back furiously. "Yes."
She stared at him, measuring his sincerity and found nothing but honest conviction. Part of her wanted to do just that, pay him back for all the pain, but another part wanted nothing more than to pull hi into her arms and never let go, content to stay that way forever. Like before, she did neither. Instead, she spoke. "Then tell me why."
"Why I would leave?"
She shook her head, furious at the tears that gathered in her eyes but unable to stop them. "Why you made me leave."
His eyes closed slowly, regret and pain written all over his face, and when he opened his eyes, they were filled with shame. "I couldn't let you stay," he admitted, his voice falling to just above a hoarse whisper, but al lthe elves gathered heard his response clearly. "I convinced myself I knew what was best for us and everyone. I was afraid."
Aragorn searched her face, looking for relief, rejection, disgust, any sign that what he had said meant something, but her expression never changed, her stance never shifted. The only thing that changed was the addition of unwilling curiosity to his deep blue eyes. He knew he had to tell her the truth, the complete truth. He owed her that much for putting her through hell, no matter what everyone thought of him when he was done.
"I was afraid of hurting you," he elaborated after a moment, ahd her averted his eyes, unable to look at her when she laughed bitterly. He stared off through the trees, but he was looking back. "I've always been afraid of losing you, Arwen. There was only two things I was sure of from the beginning: that I loved you, and I don't deserve to have you. When you loved me back, I felt I had stepped into a dream, that I could do anything and anything was possible. And in the back of my mind, far away where no one could see, I always feared I would wake up and know the dream to be a lie, or that you would wake and realize I was nothing to trouble over.
"When your father bid me think of you and let you return with your people, let you go, love fought. And pride, stubborn pride. It hurt too much to let you go, but doubts are insidious things, fair Undomiel, and I had plenty. You never shoud have loved me. I let that thought persuade me that it was wrong, that Lord Elrond was right an dyou were better off with your people. I could never give you all that you deserve. . . ." He trailed off, his eyes searching out blue once more before he made this last confession, and was surprised to find tears streming down her cheeks, though her expression remained as set as ever. "I could never love you as someone better could."
Arwen stared at the man before her, her mind slower in drawing conclusions than her body, which trembled slightly, and she brough a delicate hand up to cover her mouth. All these years, and he was telling her he still loved her? That he had never stopped? Was he telling her it did not have to be thus, and they could go back and made this nothing more than a terrible nightmare? Not sure what to think, she turned confused eyes on her father.
Seeing her gaze on him, he smiled encouragingly and walked towards her until he could wrap her up in a hug, his chin resting atop her head. Elladan stepped forward and caught Aragorn's arm, helping him stand when he would have fallen, and he shifted so he could talk in her ear. "My Evenstar," he murmured. "I am so sorry for my part in this horrid mess. If it was mine to do over again, I pray I would have the strength to leave it alone and let you have your dreams." He paused. "Do not think ill of Estel, Arwen," he bid softly, "for he was stronger than I. He let you go when I could not, though it tore his heart asunder."
With that, Elrond stepped back so he could view his dauther's face. "And if you are willing, I think there is something he would ask you."
She turned to look at Aragorn, and the man stepped forward, pulling away from Elladan until he stood before her, his hands held palm up before him as he stared into her eyes. When she placed her hands lightly in his, he clasped them lightly in his, then spoke formally. "I beg thee not send me from thy side."
She nodded, unable to find her voice, granting him permission to stay. Then, he surprised her by sinking to his knees, never removing his eyes from hers.
"My Lady, were it in my power I would gift you the stars, but you already hold them in your sway. If I could, I would gift you unending happiness, fullfill your ever dream, and never make you sad. As it is, I can only do everything in my power to try and deserve the faith you placed in me so long ago, and hope I can give you even half the happiness you have given me. I would have the opportunity to please you forever, but I only have the span of my life." He took a deep, calming breath, then caught her eyes even more firmly than before.
"Arwen Undomiel, Evenstar, fairest of the all the lands, will you grant me, Aragorn Elessar, the gift of your hand in marriage, and join me in life . . . and in death?"