Title: Abandoned (5/?)
Author: WolfPilot06
Category: AU, angst, shonen ai/yaoi, philosophical ramblings (really?), future mpreg, NCS, lime/lemonish stuffs
Pairings: Muraki x Hisoka, Tatsumi/Watari + Hisoka (father-son/brotherly relationships), (will be) Tsuzuki x Hisoka, Terazuma x Wakaba
Notes: A chapter intended to explain more about Hisoka's past. Does it explain his more vulnerable personality better? ^^; I hope it does. @.@;;;
I'm an atheist/agnostic, know almost nothing about Christianity/Catholicism, and intend to have absolutely no correlation between the god of Christianity and the god of my own making. Sorry if there is.
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He could still remember his creation. It was one of the things that made him different from the other angels; where they had lived a mortal life, died, and entered Heaven, he had been created. The hands of their God had touched him and molded his form, shaping the figure of a young androgynous being frozen forever in the early steps of mortal existence. Dimly, in a corner of his mind, he could remember a sense of tranquility and trust as his God created him, gentle hands never hurting and always, always filling him with love. His love had forged an unbreakable bond of loyalty between the young angel and his creator, one that had lasted even to now, when his God appeared to have abandoned him.
His empathy had been a mistake. In a rare moment of distraction, God had unwittingly transferred this precious gift- or was it a curse?- to His almost finished creation, unaware of what He had imparted upon His beloved child even after the transfer had been completed.
God soon learned of His mistake.
Days after he had begun to sense his God's loving emotions through His touch and His mere presence, God finished his creation and regarded it as perfect. A beautiful creature of His own making, the embodiment of everything God considered Perfect, created without others' knowledge and kept away from others until his completion. And so he was named Hisoka. God's little secret.
On the day after his creation, God presented him to the other angels, proudly displaying His beloved child-angel to the masses of His followers, beseeching them to love him as He had loved him. Then He had awoken His secret, made him aware of the heavenly sky stretching out far above, the emerald fields extending endlessly into the distance, dotted here and there by jeweled flowers and blooming trees. He had showed him his fellow angels, encouraged him to open his eyes and pushed him gently forward to face the murmuring crowd.
And he had screamed.
He was not afraid; oh, no, he was not afraid. But some of the others were. Their emotions came crashing into his vulnerable mind like a tsunami upon a beach, threatening to shatter his sanity. He felt fear, amazement, anger, suspicion joy confusion hate so much hate drowning him and he was lost not knowing who he was or what he was only able to feel and scream and scream and scream…!
When he had regained his consciousness, hours, perhaps even days, had passed since his introduction to the other angels. He found himself gazing into the sorrowful eyes of God, who explained the gift he had been given and taught him to build up shields so that he would no longer hurt from the others' emotions. And then, to his great horror, he found that his God was leaving him.
Too long had God toiled on his beautiful creation, He explained, and though He loved His little secret above all else, the world came first in His priorities; thus it was He sent His Hisoka to live with the other angels, to learn to live as a separate and independent person. However, He had counted on the other angels to support His child. He did not expect the other angels to rail against His frightened child and threaten to throw him out of Heaven's pearly gates. With His eyes turned away from the Heavens, He could not have known of the harsh treatment and hatred his beloved secret suffered at the hands of the cruel Council, who treated the innocent child as a monster and a demon. His unwanted power incited fear and distrust in those whose thoughts were not wholly pure and they feared him above all else. Whenever he reached up to pluck a ripe peach from the bough of a nearby tree or asked in a tremulous voice for a sip of ambrosia, he found himself berated and abused by the other angels. And so the poor little child-angel wandered about Heaven's holy fields, partaking of none of the endless ambrosia and sweet fruit and subsisting mainly on water and the occasional blade of grass. Though he could not die, he grew paler and thinner, his beautiful emerald eyes seeming overly large in his emaciated face. He appealed in a loud voice to his God, crying to Him to come and save his Hisoka, to show the same love He had showed during his creation. But his cries went unanswered and the little angel resolved to let himself dissolve away into nothingness. He sat beneath a tree by a shady brook and entered a deep sleep, determined to never awaken again.
Then, to his great dismay and pathetic joy, he was saved. A dark-winged angel knelt by his dying form one day and fed to him the luscious, sweet flesh of a peach, gently wiping away the thin streams of juice that trickled from his cracked lips and ensuring that the half-conscious child ate every precious bite. He had looked upon his savior with cloudy green eyes and seen a handsome face filled with soft concern and warmth. For the first time since his God had left him, the little secret felt love.
Tatsumi, he found, was the dark-winged angel's name. The angel returned day after day, each time bringing with him more food and drink, and slowly nursed the child-angel back to health. But to the innocent child, starving for affection and love, the stories Tatsumi told were valued more than nourishment he brought. Through the blue-eyed angel's tales, the little angel learned of others as kind as he- Watari-san, Konoe-Kacho- and gradually built up a burning curiosity to see the strange, dim building that Tatsumi often described. He began to wish for the strength to return to his legs so that he could travel to Tatsumi's office and see other angels as the older man had described them. Finally, Tatsumi offered to carry him away from his brook-side abode, offering the young angel something he had never had before: a home.
It was an offer Hisoka had never regretting taking.
Under the caring tutelage of Tatsumi, Watari, and Konoe-Kacho, the young angel learned about the world and its inhabitants; with their encouragement, he was finally able to accept himself; and finally, with their tender, loving care he recovered from the hatred he had experienced for the first two years of his life. He found peace and security with the three older angels; most importantly, he found a family.
But now he was alone and hurt very badly, and all he could think was that he had been unable to keep his promise to Tatsumi. Tatsumi had given him so much, and Hisoka had only been able to carry out various little errands for Tatsumi in return. Then the mission came. Finally, Hisoka had received a chance to repay Tatsumi back for all he had done for him, and he had missed it.
Now, all he could do in the agony-filled darkness, writhing in pain and terror beneath a hot, heavy body pushing against his, into his, causing him to feel things he never considered possible, was wait and pray for Tatsumi or someone else to come save him. He could not keep the screams from issuing from his lips; he could not keep from crying as his terror overwhelmed him; all he could do was hope that the agony would soon end. And so he waited…and prayed…and hoped.
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TBC
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Why all the cliffhangerage? Because I'm evil. Ba ha ha. Hear me laugh in evil, sadistic delight.
C&C please? And I promise that the plot will start moving again next chapter. O.o;;
**Wolf**