Revamped chapter 2!
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Chapter 2: The First Step
Year 1971
Remus Lupin:
I loved the moon. I think I always have. I once thought a white rabbit lived on the moon, waiting for a friend to come by. That was one of few memories from my childhood. I can hardly remember my parents. I don't remember their names, and I don't remember their faces. They are just masked, unknown beings, far from comforting images I saw from Lily's family.
I am not so sure what to believe, my memories or my nightmares. They are so intertwined together it was hard to distinguish them from fact or imagination.
I clawed the walls, pushed against the windowless room, scratched the floors, bite my tail, find my tail, find the moon. Find the moon.
Where are you? Let me out. Let me out.
LET ME OUT.
I heard the long moanful howl, and it took the wolf to realize that it was a lonely one. I howled against the bloodied room, and began my fight again. The fight I can never win. I tore at my skin. I tasted blood. Bitter and coppery. Never enough to satisfy my hunger, my wish, my dream. Never enough.
I screamed. Half conscious mind of human creeps back, and I screamed the abnormal sound of a beast and a boy. The low growls trembled in the back of my throat.
They said wolves are social animals. A wolf could never survive alone without its pack. Where is my pact? My family? Why am I all alone?
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhrgggg," I screamed piercingly, still scratching the walls. Trapped in my own hell. I cried for my lost family, for lost innocence, for anger, for frustration and for sadness I felt all my life.
Back in Dafford, I've never felt this burden on my chest. I knew that even if my reasonable human mind tried to ignore the fact, my dark wolf couldn't under the moonlight. And it was stronger than ever before.
My own roommates hated me. Sirius Black, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew and Daniel Jones. I know that they think I am not a normal boy. They would stop their conversations whenever I walked into my dorm room, classroom, or sit too close to them at the Great Hall.
My sensitive ears heard the voice of Daniel whispering, "Too sissy. You think he's a poof?"
I wasn't sure what he meant, but I knew it wasn't good, when suddenly Sirius, Peter and James laughed. I told myself over and over again what Mr. Stafford had told me, never show them your weakness.
And I didn't.
I held my head high. I made friends with first year girls and older years. I tried to forget the exclusion of boys my age. Actually, I don't really know how old I am. I could actually be a year younger than most of my peers. Boys my age are generally taller and more manly. I, who looked like a girl, was pale and still short. More reasons for them to exclude me.
It became worst, when I was paired with Severus Snape to brew potions, for I was the only Gryffindor to pair with a Slytherin, whom they hated with passion. The paring was to help me with my potion by Professor Loden.
The best student of Potion with the worst.
The idea was in the right place, but they would start blowing up our caldrons, trying to make Severus more irritated. In turned, Lily came up to a boiling point with them, which made the matter worse. I had to fend Lily off from hexing them, and Severus was about to kill me every time I didn't anything right.
"You are a useless, Lupin! Don't touch the ingredients until I asked you to." Severus spitted out his anger. And I don't blame him. Him paring with a Gryffindor was more of an insult to his character than accomplishment.
I felt the last pull of the moon. The beginning and the ending are said to be the most painful. The fight between dark beast and human began, and fought, then lost.
Albus Dumbledore:
I feared for the pull of the moon tonight. I heard that Remus was having hard time with boys in his house. I had feared for something like this. Werewolves are strange and mystical creatures. And people do recognize them subconsciously without really knowing the reason why. He became a werewolf in such a young age, very rare, indeed. The control of their population has been very tight, and hardly a young one survived a year after they had been bitten.
Remus was the strong one.
Boys will be boys. It would eventually work out on its course. I remembered my own school days. My brother, Aberforth, had the hardest time in the beginning, but by the time he graduated, he was the most popular boy in his house and more.
I felt restless like a caged animal. My affection for Remus astonishes me sometimes. I do fear for him as I care for him. It hurts me to look into his face and see someone else. They are so alike, more than I had believed. But my restlessness is not entirely for him, that I know. I fear that something is about to happen, something great and disturbing.
Efrem Kurtz:
The Dark Lord summons me now, his mark burning into my left arm.
Would this be the day all the wizards and witches remember forever? Would this be the day for me to ascend to the power?
The fools at the Ministry have no idea what is about to hit them. Let them wait. Just a little longer.
Lord Voldemort:
It is time.
Remus Lupin:
I woke up in the infirmary hours later. My voice gone, my lips spited and my body numbed with pain. It was my third transformation at Hogwarts. One good thing from the boys' exclusion was they never ask too many questions. No suspicious stare or whisper.
When I showed up at the breakfast next day, I felt the hundred eyes on me. I wondered if it was my lycanthropy they were sensing unknowingly, for nobody really cared to be silent when others walk in, it happened only when I did. I ignored the intruding eyes and sat normally as I could beside Lily.
Ashley Thompson, who likes to sit in the library time to time with me, gasped. I tried to smile, but I think it turned out to be a grimace instead.
"What happened to you? I thought you were visiting your sick mum, not moving a canal." Lily said as she touched my slumped shoulder.
"Just tired I guess," I mumbled as I began to eat corn porridge. My raw throat was still too raspy to talk normally.
"Well, I hope your mum is fine now. Is she?" Meg asked as she looked at me straight in the eyes. I never feel comfortable when people stare at my eyes. I feared they would see straight through my charade of being normal.
I lowered my eyes and answered, "Yes, yes. She's much better now. They said if she rests a bit more, she would be fine."
Madame Pomfrey was amazing with healing spells and potions, all my fresh wounds; the worst cuts were healed up over night. The only sign of the full moon was my tired eyes and bruises on my body, which was covered up by my robe.
I put spoonful of porridge in my mouth again, then asked, "Did I miss anything important?"
I saw Lily's concern eyes flickering, "Well, you missed DADA's exciting and scary section on red capps." Her voice was in mock terror, and everyone broke out laughing. Jo even feigned death.
"Seriously. Where would we use these useless information? Never in our life time." Ashley muttered.
"Unless you go visit the ruined castle in Romania for fun." Lily answered as if it was the most fun thing to do.
"At least it is not boring like potion." Jo said with a grin, as she knew it was my worst class.
"Correction, the History of Magic has to be the most boring class," Meg whispered as the group of professors came into the Great Hall.
"Hear, hear." Ashley agreed.
"Don't forget, Remus. You have missed Professor Sprout's herbology lesson on the hundred deadly poisonous flowers of this century. You can see my notes later tonight." Lily added just before Professor McGonagall clapped her hands.
Severus Snape:
It started like any other morning. Students eating, talking or reading in their appropriate house tables. I didn't think of anything, when morning mails were late.
I had most horrible time in Potion class yesterday in hands of Potter and Black. Without Lupin, who was a dodder in Potion, I had no blockage from their assaults on my ingredients. My whole potion was ruined, but Professor Loden was kind enough to give both of them detention.
Honestly those fools are getting on my nerve. I had planned a marvelous surprise for them in Astronomy class today. If they think they won the battle against Snape, they must think again and face the long war to loose.
I was thinking out my plans carefully on my breakfast plates with leftovers, when McGonagall clapped her hands. "Attention, students. Please remain sited and calm. Professor Dumbledore has an announcement to make."
Her voice was unusually grim and weary, and everyone was as quiet as a mouse. It wasn't usual for all the professors to come and sit down during breakfast, with such dark faces, and when Dumbledore was making an announcement it had to be bad.
"Students. I am afraid I have some bad news. Last night, the 3rd office building of the Ministry of Magic, the Office of International Affair, was blown away," Dumbledore paused for the gasps of students to fade. "There was no fatality, however the message was clear. A dark wizard of name of Lord Voldemort is behind this brutal and surprising attack.
"All the aurors are now looking for him, but we do not have the reason behind his attack as of this morning. If your parents or family are working for the Ministry of Magic, you can see Professor McGonagall for more information and arrangements.
"For the circumstances, all the classes are canceled today. I advise you to stay inside the school, although that is not required at this moment. And now here is your morning mails."
Dumbledore whipped his hand, and all the owls started to fly in with mails from worried parents.
I've received five letters from my father, Luther Snape, and so called my mother. She was my step-mother, and she's as cold and as detached as my father. Perfect match, actually. She didn't want any children, for fear that it would ruin her perfect figure, and he already had one. How convenient.
My real mother was a muggle, and my father discarded her as easy as throwing out leftover foods. I am glad really that my father sent her away. I don't think I could bear it, if anyone found out I was a half muggle.
The letters contained her usual pretences of mother-like concerns and his strong wintry confidence that everything would work out the way he expects it to. They didn't forget to send me more Galleons.
Everytime there's a slightest disturbance, they throw me more golds. I think they honestly believed that the money would solve anything. They truly believe they could even buy my love. I guess I didn't get my intelligence from my father's side.
The fear of Lord Voldemort increased few hundred times, when on the eve of Christmas, his followers blew away half of Diagon Alley, and killed countless people. But inside the Hogwarts, the life continued as normal.
Albus Dumbledore:
The identity of Lord Voldemort troubles me. It seems as if he appeared out of a thin air. No substantial backgrounds were found, which was impossible.
Everyone has a family or friends.
Don't they?
Remus Lupin:
It was my first Christmas away from Mr. Stafford and our beloved Dafford castle. I terribly missed the winter scenery that I was fond of for so many years without noticing. It was unfortunate that Mr. Stafford had to leave the country for some unknown business. I sure hoped he would find what he was looking for this Christmas.
I've learned long ago that the saddest time of year for Mr. Stafford was Christmas time. I learned not to ask any questions since I could remember, and I never imposed upon his pain. It seemed to me that he and I are doomed to dance around our own pains.
Knowing without acknowledging was the best manner between us.
I had woken late than usual, since my dorm room was unusually silent. Lily's present was a large box full of chocolate frogs. Meg and Jo, both, sent a book about advance DADA, for my surprise. Ashley sent me homemade honey teas, with a note claiming that one drink would make me feel a whole lot better. I reminded myself to thank them when they come back.
Mr. Stafford had sent me a bottle of grapiana (non-alcoholic wine), which was produced solely from our vineyard, and a box of chocolates. I enjoyed them while I sat near in front of my bedroom window, looking out into the purely white and perfect Hogwarts field. I was saddened at the sudden thought that Mr. Stafford would be all alone while I savored the richness of chocolate, but suddenly I was shaken out of my thoughts as I witnessed the snow fights between two boys.
Upon closer watch on my behalf, I could make them out to be Daniel Jones and Sirius Black. Then Hagrid joined in unknowingly as they threw him couple good snows, as he was walking near by.
"You little birds, take that!" Hagrid tried to throw large snowballs at them, but unfortunately hit couple of staffs, whom unfortunately were walking the grounds as well. Which led up to full-blown up fight among staffs and even Professor Dumbledore. My, even Madam Pomfrey joined in after getting hit couple of times by Professor Sprout and McGonagall.
I had to wipe the window couple of times to see them more clearly. And while watching them, I almost felt I belonged there with them. But my smile faded as I was reminded once again of my place and condition, when I saw the bruises on my left arm as my pajama sleeve slipped to my elbow.
I bit my lower lip and pulled up my sleeve to hide the bruises. Even the little pinch would cost me to bruise so easily, it was impossible to play like…what would they called it? Play like young men. I was never normal, and it bothered me more now than before.
"Oh, sorry Professor Loden. I thought you were Hagrid!" Sirius shrieked as three hard snowballs came his way.
"Mr. Black, you knew darn well, I wasn't him!" Sweet tempered, Professor Loden ducked out of the fire zone as now professors and students divided into appropriate place to battle.
"Professor Loden, you talk too…" Madam Pomfrey hurled, "too much!" the snowball to the opposite side. "Just…" she panted, "Let's…" ducking from the balls, "win this one! Ahhh! Professor Dumbledore! You should be ashamed of yourself. Using unfair spells like that!"
"I contest, Poppy, for the referee…didn't stated specifically…that we can't use the…" Dumbledore stopped the angry snowball that was coming his way, "Magic!!"
"I pry to know who is the refereeeeeeeeeee?" McGonagall fell down next to panting Professor Loden, behind the make shift barrier.
"Why, it's me, of course," Dumbledore looked over at them over his moon shaped glasses.
Their playful banter continued until the team Loden, McGonagall, Pomprey, Dumbledore lost held up the white flag. Sirius and Daniel celebrated their team's win by throwing more snowballs at each other.
A sudden attack of blurriness, I quickly turned from the window. In blindness, I packed away my gifts into my trunk beneath my four-post bed. After wiping my eyes, I dressed myself and headed for my solitude at the library.
Sirius Black:
It was beautiful Christmas morning. The news of new attack from yesterday did not brighten up my day, but I guessed I had to make best of the worst situation. The snow fight between the staffs were unintentional but awesome.
I never had a gut to throw a snowball at McGonagall's face, but it was all in a good fun. I think it was awesome that mother decided to visit her family in America for the holiday. Christmas at Hogwarts was so far splendid.
Too bad, James had to leave, but he had promised to stay at least one Christmas here.
As I cleaned my coat of any excess snow, I caught myself looking at our dorm room window. Through the window, I could see a figure moving about. I don't really have to guess who the figure was.
Remus J. Lupin.
I haven't been nice to the boy, since the first day. I don't know why, but whenever he's close to me, I feel the urge to hug or punch him. I don't think that's right response to a boy, I hardly knew.
"Sirius, aren't you coming?" Daniel yelled over from the entrance, and I nodded. When I looked back at the window, Remus was gone.
I've got a sudden feeling of emptiness. I shook it off quickly when I realized there will be food to eat. House elves of Hogwarts must be the greatest elves in the world, never had I tasted something so good.
Efrem Kurtz:
His Lordship summons me now. I am afraid I have an unfortunate news for him. It would not make him happy.
Severus Snape:
I am glad my father and mother decided to visit Russia for this year's Christmas, leaving me in peace without them. I hated pretending to be a good son to them in front of their guests; it was so much more productive to spend time alone than with them, really.
I looked up when I heard the faint resonance of light footsteps coming closer. I frown a bit to be interrupted my perfect seclusion by the sound. He noticed me and walked quieter. Hidden from stacked books, I watched my potion partner sitting next to the window. His shoulders hunched and small.
Remus Lupin. My lips sneered up at the boy.
Ever so studious Gryffindor, who excelled in DADA and Astrology, but failed miserably in Potions and Flying lessons. It's amazing he never broke any bones, the rate he was falling. He had no air coordination, even girls flied better than him. But something about him was interesting. He looked different. There's an air about him… I shook my head as if I realized I knew too many things about him than I admit to myself.
Many times I have to restrain myself not to taunt the boy whenever our potion blow up in my face, or when the other Gryffindors ruined our robes. It wasn't his fault really. I can't really dislike Lupin, when he was so good in DADA. Even better than myself, although I hate to admit the defeat.
In this time of uncertainty, the knowledge of DADA is the at most importance. I must have fallen asleep, because suddenly I had awakened by tap-tap on my shoulder. When I lifted my head, I was staring into the eyes of Lupin.
"WHAT?" I spitted out more vehemently than I had intended originally.
Lupin looked a bit taken back, but urged up his courage to speak his mind. "It's almost time." I stared at him, and so he continued, "I-I thought y-you wouldn't want to miss the Christmas dinner."
I looked at him piercingly, and nodded my head. I began to pack my books and notes, and I noticed Lupin walking out alone. His head slightly bent down in his usual small form.
I closed my eyes and called, "Wait."
Lupin stopped and turned with his big golden eyes staring back at me. I caught up to him in a heartbeat, and began to walk beside him. "Thanks. I wouldn't want to miss the dinner." I tried to sound indifferent, but I couldn't quite pass that off, when Lupin smiled and nodded in understanding.
At that moment, something passed between us.
We walked in comfortable silence until we parted to our appropriate dorms. He looked back and nodded as he ascended long staircase. I never felt this warmer and lighter in days. As if I had taken my first step toward something unfamiliar but not all that unpleasant.
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end of chapter 2.