Title: More Than You'll Ever Know

Summary: All Adam's dad wants is for Adam to make pro-hockey. All Adam ever wanted was a friend. A friend to stick by him. He'd lost one before, and when she comes back, sparks fly, but not for the better.

Main Duck: Adam Banks

Rating: PG-13 for language especially in this chapter and later violence

Time frame: After D2, before and during D3 maybe after D3 if I feel like it and if you give me reviews =p

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own 'em. I just own Jessica, Ethan, Sally, Jason, and Andrew.

Epilogue

Four Years Later

            It was the beginning of the end and the end of the beginning. Eighteen-year-old Adam Banks stood at the edge of the cemetery, head bent in sorrow and tears shining in his eyes. The past four years had been the best years of his life. His relationship with his dad was still awkward, but it was returning just the same. The Ducks were still his best friends when he made (and stayed on) Varsity sophomore year. They were all closer than ever. Then there was Jessica. The couple had only fought once in junior year when the stress of SAT's went over the top for both of them. Other than that, they were in love and happy together. Adam was starting college the following month at the University of Pennsylvania. Jessica would've gone to Princeton.

            "Adam," a red-eyed Ethan Bombay beckoned for his sister's boyfriend to approach the coffin. Everyone there turned to stare at him. Adam stepped forward past the Ducks and the faculty of Eden Hall. Another step past the old Varsity players. Another step past former Hawks (minus McGill). Another step past his, Danny's, Tori's, Aaron's, and Jordan's families and the former football team of Eden Hall (Ethan's team). Another step past Aaron, Tori, Jordan, and Danny. A final step and he was in front of the coffin and in line with the immediate family.

            "Hey Jessie," he said softly letting a single tear drop to the ground, "Remember when you said that the concert was the 2nd best day of you life and the 4th anniversary was the best? I disagree. The best day of my life was the day I met you. You were always a good fighter and friend. You helped me fight my way through high school and the drama it came with. And I know you'll help me fight my loneliness without you. I never met anyone like you and I knew you'd go far. Look where Reality is now. They definitely couldn't have done it without you. I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't come into my life.  I love you. Forever." Now Adam had a river streaming down his face.

            "She left a note. These are yours," Gordon Bombay handed over green, blue, and pink spirals. Her journals. Ethan handed him her favorite blanket, whispering, "She'd want you to have this."

            Adam sat in his room later, staring at the journals before him. He picked up the pick one, the latest one, and flipped to the back to see her last memory. Their 4th anniversary. And then there was a tear-stained note. For Adam.

Adam,

            You know as well I as do that I'm not going to be alive any longer than the first week of college. I'm going to leave a note asking my father to give these journals to you. Maybe Ethan will have the sense to give you that old blanket. Remember when you got me that because I was always complaining that I was cold? Share these journals with Ethan. I'm sure he'll want to know what I was thinking half the time I was with him. I know you're scared. To tell you the truth, I am too. I'm scared as hell, Adam. How am I going to face this by myself? Without you? (And don't you dare take that as a sign of permission to commit suicide because I will never forgive you if you do) I never really thought about death. Even after I found out about the lupus in my body, I only thought about it for five minutes, tops. When the doctor told me that I had a high chance of death, I was terrified. It's not anyone's fault, though. It could have happened to anybody.

            I don't think I can express enough how much our 4th anniversary meant to me. I've never felt so loved in all my life and I can honestly tell you that I had a great time. You didn't hurt me in any way. And even if I already lost my virginity to Zak Hill, you were my first time. Willingly. I never knew you could cook, either. It makes me sad to think that I won't be able to find out anything else about the mysterious Adam Banks. But still, the time that we spent together is time that was definitely worth it. I don't regret anything when it comes to you, except maybe that fight we had freshman year. But when you think about it, if we didn't have that fight, we might not have gotten together in the first place. So maybe it's a good thing.

            I'm leaving you the bracelet you gave me. Now you can have both halves and remember me forever. And please, Adam, don't dwell on me forever because if I know you, and I really would like to think I do, you'll be moping around all first semester. Don't. Go out and meet new people; I won't mind at all. Because I know that you'll still be thinking of me. Anyway, I digress. It wasn't supposed to be this long, but thinking of you gets me like this. Which makes it all the more painful. Dammit, Adam, I'm scared. I'm fucking scared!! But I'm ready. I wrote a note like this to my brother and my dad and my friends. Please give it to them. After saying good-bye to you, I'll have closure and I think I'll be ready.

            It was really fun and it was the best choice I'd ever made, being with you. I'll miss you so damn much because well, Adam, you're just fucking amazing. You're the best buy any girl could ask for and I'm so lucky that I had you there for me for four straight years. Good-bye. Oh and one last thing. Adam Bradley Banks, I love you.

Love forever and always,

Jessica

            Adam cried silently, adding a mixture to the Jessica's dried tears on the page. Their 4th anniversary had been the week before. And Jess already knew it would be the last she was alive for. She knew the lupus was consuming her body and that she wouldn't make it another year.

            "I love you too, Jessica Rachel Bombay," Adam whispered bringing her blanket to his face, his tears getting absorbed into its stitches. He took in her scent. It still smelled like her.

            "You really love her, huh?" Charlie Conway stood in the doorway, sympathy and a hint of tears shining in his eyes.

            Adam nodded, smiling at the thought of her beautiful face, "More than you'll ever know."

~*End*~

I would just like to say thanks to everyone who read and reviewed this story, sticking with me even during the really bad parts of it =D. Hope to see everyone in another fic soon!

~Melody~