Year 1975
Lily Evans:
"Merlin!"
I ran blindly, following the others, being pushed by the crowd, seeing only what was in front of me. It was hard to see or hear what was really happening. One minute, I was dancing with 7th year Ravenclaw boy, then next I was almost trampled by people.
I felt the tiny burning pains, and I looked at my arms. They were bleeding from various cuts, but otherwise, they seemed to be working.
"Lily!" It was James, calling me from my right. Everyone calling at everyone in frenzied fear. Then there was another BOOM, and everyone screamed and ducked. The debris started to fall on our heads. We needed to get out.
"James!" We weaved our way into each other, still surrounded by frighten students, walking fast toward a place with clean air. "Are you okay?" I shouted to be heard, almost hysterical. The painted people were also running across their canvass, leading us to safer place.
"Yes! Yes," he looked down at me in alarm, "You are hurt!" James clutched my blood stained sleeve. He took a turn, guiding me into another hall, apart from the crowds and the noise.
"I am fine! I fell, that's all," I said, breathing in the cleaner air. We were far from the Great Hall now. I looked around the surroundings and knew that we were near the entrance of Potions dungeon. Cooler night air hit me hard, and I stumbled.
"Let me take you to Madame Pomfrey," James said, looking at my arms, steadying me to my feet.
"But that's in the another wing. We should stay here until we know what's going on," I pulled my arms from his gentle grasp. I looked up at his face, noticing the prominent cut on his face for the first time, "You've got a cut on your cheek." James reached up to his face, and cringed when his fingers contacted the angry cut. We had been hiding there for hours, but to us, it only seemed like few seconds.
"What do you supposed happened?" James looked out through the dark window. He sounded scared and worried, and for the first time in my life, I was afraid. Sure, the war was raging on with You-know-who, but I never felt we were in any danger under Professor Dumbledore.
"Do you think it's an attack from...?" I asked timidly.
James looked sharply at me, "You-know-who attacking right under Dumbledore's roof? I don't believe it. He wouldn't dare." He hugged me with his right arm, pulling me close. "He wouldn't dare." But we both knew there was no possible explanation for sudden impact except for the death eaters of you-know-who.
"James," I looked up at him, "I forgot something."
"What is it?" He asked me frowning, as if thinking what I was thinking of.
I straighten up my body, "we are prefects, James. We can't stay here, hiding like this. We've got work to do. We've got to go back and help the others."
He looked at me with a strange expression that resembled how he looked at his favorite Quidditch player, then he too straighten his robes, and took charge.
"You are right. Let's go," he took my hand, and we both headed toward The Great Hall. I wasn't scared anymore. We pushed deeper into the Hallway in blind darkness, only with our wands to light our ways. When we approached the Great Hall, we could see the thin half sized moonlight streaming in.
The smoke was still there as we approached and few reminisce of fire here and there, we saw two students helping a boy with leg injury. And the strangest thing was, not the ruined windows or the red and green stained floor, it was the instruments, stilling playing the supernatural waltz for us in the empty room.
"James, look at this?" I called for him in front of where our magnificent windows used to be. "Look."
James looked out, seeing what I was seeing. Out in the ground of Hogwarts, we saw groups of teachers surrounding a distinctive outline of Professor Dumbledore, making a ring about him, but we weren't looking at them. James and I stared in horror as one distinct Death Mark hung in mid air, shiny as a full moon.
"Someone's hurt," James said tensely as he looked out at the group of people. They parted the way for Professor Dumbledore, who was followed by a stretcher with a person on it. There was a white sheet over the person.
Someone was dead.
That night was a blurred memory. Only thing I remembered after that was how all the professors gathered the unharmed students, and told us all our parents were expecting us. That it was, indeed, an attack and not an accident. That no student died. That life would go on. That few of students would have to remain in Hogwarts over the break to recover, and that the one of them was Remus. That the death eaters had invaded our school. That we didn't know the reason why. That we didn't do anything. But the evil didn't need a reason for the things it destroyed. That it was not our fault.
None was got to say goodbye to Remus when we were almost forced on board early next morning. They wouldn't tell us what was wrong with him. Whether he was badly injured or not. All of us wanted to stay for Remus, but that was not option. Our parents were worried, and the professors wouldn't allow it. Sirius was almost ready to kill someone as he brooded quietly in the corner, Peter looked he was about to die, and James looked very very sad. We sat quietly, lost in our own thoughts and worries. They didn't tell us who it was that died yesterday.
Remus Lupin:
My face was hot and I felt little tipsy. I assumed the punch I had drink had some effect on my brain, because I had boldly told Sirius how I wasn't sorry about his kiss and my heart wasn't leaping out of my chest. I felt unusually calm despite the tenseness in my brain, that was, until I heard the loud bang.
When Sirius and I were being pushed by frighten peers, I had fallen. I lost the control again. Madam Pomfrey had explained to me about my narcolepsy months ago, that I could loose control of my consciousness, when my mind or body is stressed or agitated. I had fallen and would have been trampled with a serious injury, if not for Severus Snape.
He must have seen me go down, because he found me despite all the moving bodies, shuttered glasses and shakes of the ground, and carried me all the way to Madam Pomfrey. We must have been the only ones to make a run for it using the corridor, right of the Great Hall. I remembered waking up suddenly in his arms to see Snape's left face as he was running. Entire hallway seemed to be in flames and submerged in smokes. It was so intensely hot that our bodies seemed like an ice, we shivered against the heat. He didn't even notice me trying to get his attention. I was yelling his name as if that was only thing I could do. I was scared and confused. There was so much smoke around us. Our eyes throbbed with tears.
I yelled his name over and over again in pure horror, my shrieks would have been loud, but he wasn't listening and neither was I. Snape, he just ran like there was no tomorrow. To us it seemed like an eternity to get away. He missed the hospital wing twice by running pass the entrance. Both of us were fixed on one thing to not shut down completely from the shock and fear. We fell together about three times, each time we thought we were dead. We heard the footsteps, right on the heel, as if they were chasing us. We were too shocked to remember what really had happened during the run to hospital wing.
When finally we had arrived, Snape practically passed out of exhaustion and drain of sudden energy. I was still shrieking his name, and only after Madam Pomfrey gave me something, I stopped and gagged for air. Physically there were only bruises and scratches on our bodies, but mentally we were scared out of our minds. We didn't know it then, but we were the only ones to witness the death eaters in Hogwarts.
When I woke up the very next day, the hospital wing was only occupied by three others, a boy I didn't know with a broken leg, a 6th year Hufflepuff boy with burned arms, and then Snape, who was snoring lightly in the corner. Madam Pomfrey was talking quietly to Professor Dumbledore, when they noticed I was awake.
"Remus," Professor Dumbleddore said in grave voice, as Madam Pomfrey left us, "How do you feel?"
I subconsciously touched my head, trying to feel any pain. "I feel fine, sir."
Dumbledore sighed heavily, his eyes looked tired and warned out. "I have something terribly unfortunate news to tell you-"
"Was it you-know-who?" I asked fearfully. For split of second, I saw a slight change in his eyes. It took him few seconds to answer me, "Yes, I am afraid it was him. No, no. Everyone's safe. The rest of students are back home with their parents."
My heart started to race with unfound anxiety, "Does Mr. Stafford know what happened? He might worry when I don't show up. He doesn't really like waiting at King's Cross, muggle place and all..." When I trailed off, I felt silly. Of course, everything would have been taken care of. They always do.
For a while, he didn't say a word. That got my heart to race again.
"Remus," he said with great difficulty, "Ishm- Mr. Stafford-"
I didn't hear what he said after that. I just knew. My eyes began to fill with unshed tears. I felt Dumbledore's embrace when he pulled me closer to him, but I must have been in shock, because all I remember was one sound that rang out in my ears and no more.
Severus Snape:
I was walking. No, I was running. It was so dark, yet so red, I couldn't breathe. I saw the flashes of masked figures. They were chasing, yelling at me. I didn't understand what they wanted, but I wasn't going to find out if I could help it. I was running as fast as I could. I felt tired yet strong. I looked down, and I was holding something. I opened my hand to find a small white flower. So small, so pretty. I realized this was what those figures wanted, they wanted to take this away from me. I shield the flower with my hand, and I speed away. I saw the light coming from the distance, then suddenly I woke with a start.
But I regretted it soon. My legs and arms hurt like hell. I tried to go back to sleep, but that sound wasn't going away, in fact it was getting louder. And louder. I opened my eyes, and realized I was in the hospital wing. I thought it was funny, because I didn't remember coming here. When I turned my face, I found out where this sound was coming from.
My eyes focused to find Lupin sobbing hysterically against Dumbledore's frantic embrace, and Pomfrey was trying to find his vein to stick a needle into. Lupin's whole aura was silver, radiating from his body as if he was on some kind of ice fire. My eyes widened, and my mouth drop opened.
I was taken back, when I noticed something else. All the windows of the hospital wing were smashed. I instantly knew it had happened only few moments ago, because all the shattered glasses were still on the floor. I knew Pomfrey would never leave sharp glasses around the floors, if they had happened last night. It must have been the sound of shuttering of glasses that woke me up.
"Poppy!" Dumbledore said, just before Pomfrey stepped back.
"Somniamus!" he cast a spell on the boy, and instantly Lupin fell silent and limp, the silvery aura fading away from him.
"Are you all right, Poppy?"
"Yes," said Pomfrey with a face of shock and concern, "Yes, I am fine. What happened, Albus? Was that what I think it was?" she asked, and I eagerly listened.
"I've told him," Dumbledore said heavily, then he flicked his eyes at me, "I think you should check the others. I see that Severus has awaken."
Pomfrey looked she wanted to ask more, but she held her tongue. I supposed Dumbledore didn't want me to hear.
Pomfrey tended me with more potions, and filled me in about the other students and the situation. I was to remain in Hogwarts until first, I was well, or second, when my parents came to get me.
I told her flat out that, I would stay here over the break. I knew my parents would be away again. I had already gotten the letter from them few days before the Yule Ball. And I had a strong suspicion that they were in deep with you-know-who, as most of my peer's families were. 'This summer, we will bring you with us to meet someone important,' my father wrote. I can guess what that someone would be even if I had a brain damage, it would be Voldemort.
Then Pomfrey told me something startled me yet again. She said I had carried Lupin through now totally destroyed hallway. She said it was as if someone was watching out for us. She said the classes along the hallways were engulfed in flames. If we didn't die from the falling debris or the intense fire, we should have been dead from all the toxic smoke we swallowed. But here we are, still alive.
I turned to look at sleeping form of Lupin. Even without Pomfrey or Dumbledore explaining it, I knew it was Lupin who had shattered all the windows. The silver aura around him explained it all, as my mind cleared.
Every person has an aura to them, doesn't matter if you are a muggle or a wizard, but you see, the only strongest wizards and witches have physical aura that others can see. Look at the powerful wizards like Merlin, Jesus or Buddha, they have them. Even muggles noticed them and drew countless pictures of them with white rings around their bodies.
I knew Lupin was underestimated wizard, everyone thinks Lupin's weak and sickly, which they assumed meant he was not much of a wizard, but I knew underneath all that, there laid a strong wizard, even stronger than anyone I knew, I just didn't know how strong he truly was. I bet he didn't even know his own potential. I supposed that hidden quality was what drew me to him in the first place.
Lupin had the power, and something had awakened it just for a moment. He would need someone to help him unleash his potential. I was more certain that someone would be me.
As Christmas approached, two other boys left as soon as their injuries were healed by Pomfrey. I was not allowed to go back to my dorm, since it was so closed off for the restoration of Hogwarts. Which meant, I was to stay in the hospital wing. All of my stuffs were magically brought down, and I didn't feel I needed anything else.
For first few days, Lupin slept most of the day. When he was awake, all he did was stare at the ceiling, as if he was counting all the patterns. But I knew he wasn't really seeing them. Pomfrey told me he had lost someone, and only learned of the news. It was shame really. So many people were dying, and it was all for nothing.
I was soon bored of Lupin's supine state, and I began to venture out, exploring the aftermath. It was very unnerving to walk around the ruined Hogwarts. There was practically no one here. Most of professors were busy restoring and protecting the school, that they didn't care whether I was there or not. Every evening, I would come back to Infirmary to have a quiet dinner, most of the time alone. Pomfrey was mostly helping the rest of the staff in casting spells and enchantments around the school, making sure it was strong enough to protect the students, if there should be another attack.
It was Christmas Eve, when finally Lupin remerged from wherever he was since that morning.
He said so quietly, he had to repeat it in order for me to hear him right, "Thank you, Severus."
"For what?" I asked curiously.
"For hauling me here," he paused, then that mischievous look I knew so well from loads of pranks cheeped back into his eyes for a moment, "I was yelling right next to your ear, but you ran like you were high from chocolate frogs."
I crinkled my nose, trying to remember, "Was that why my ears hurt so much, when I woke?" I said.
Suddenly, the light in his eyes disappeared. He looked away from me. Maybe I sounded harsher than I intended to be. I had a habit of scaring others without meaning to do so. Suddenly embarrassed that I had hurt him, I quickly said, "I'm sorry."
"For what? You didn't do anything," he said softly.
He was right of course, I quickly added, "I am sorry about your loss," I stared at his eyes, that pretty golden eyes, "I heard. And I am sorry."
"Yeah," he said finally, "I am sorry too." We were silent; the candle lights dancing against unknown breeze up above us, making our shadows dance as well. I stared at the shadowy figures. My thoughts went back to the Yule Ball, when I was dancing so close to him. My heart was racing so hard I thought it would burst out. I was even telling him about how ridiculous this whole thing was, and he laughed. I made him laugh that night. Then my eyes had met Black. He was giving me his death stares. Little Possessive? Jealous? My mind laughed satisfyingly at him.
"He was very old," Remus suddenly spoke, breaking our trance. "But he was never a cranky old man as most people thought he was."
"Who was he? Your grandfather?" I asked timidly. I didn't know anything about Lupin's family.
He shook his head lightly then smiled sadly, "He was my guardian. Stafford was his name. But, I guess, in some sense, he was my grandfather."
"Why is he-"
"My parents," he intercepted, "they are busy with their works far from here, and Mr. Stafford was…an old relative, and his place is a lot closer to Hogwarts."
I snorted bitterly, "My parents are busy too," I glanced at Lupin's for his reaction, and his interested eyes encouraged me to open up. "They are always away. Last summer, I hardly saw any of them. Not that I missed them or anything. This time it's Russia. As you can guess, that's why I am still here." I smiled, "No, Lupin. I am not here to study ahead of DADA. Your lead is safe, for now."
I was rewarded with his tiny smile, "Really? I thought I was seeing things, when I saw you without books."
"Hey, don't believe everything I say," with that I whipped out a book from my trunk and showed him the title, DADA: What You Need to Know to Succeed. "You are too gullible, Lupin. I might be toying with you to slack off, while I study ahead in secret."
He laughed, not a shy and guarded laugh, but carefree laugh of a teenager, a friendly laugh. "I guess I better watch out."
That night, we talked of our family to house elves, from favorite food to our least favorites, from potions to Quidditch, from our plans for the future to the war with you-know-who. We were open, not hiding anything about our true feelings on each subject. We felt normal.
When I woke on Christmas morning, I found Lupin curled up in feral position on the floor. His face had a trace of tears, and my heart wrenched at the sight. He was holding something against his chest, and I had to pry it out of him before he broke it. It was a crumpled package. I called out his name, shaking him slightly, fully knowing he won't hear me. He was in exhausted sleep, mumbling incoherently. I sighed and picked up the package. It was just regular gift, but upon my closer inspection I found the name "Stafford". When I gently pried it open, it revealed an old wand. Nothing special looking, mind you. Just a worn down wand that might been used long time ago.
I slid my arms around the boy, and lifted him up to his bed. The morning floor can be quite cold. As soon as I put him in bed, he curled toward my body, seeking heat. I stood over him, frozen. I looked around in habit, and I got into bed next to him, holding him warm, wiping away his tears. His skin was so pale, yet I never touched anything so delicate and smooth, it was like touching the finest Chinese silk. I caressed his golden brown hair, then trailed his eye brows, then his fine nose. His lips. Those lips were so full and so pink. It was the only feature of Lupin that I wanted to have. His lips. I wanted to kiss them for so long.
Lupin had changed, for the better. He had grown up to be beautiful young man. His muscles had nice tones to them, and his face became more boyish from girlish features. He had lost his baby fat around his cheek, and they were more defined. His eyes were complimented by his strong golden eyebrows and long lashes. He had lost his uncontrollable red blushes, which was a shame, because it made him looked very endearing.
I wasn't the only one who noticed the handsome face. Although Lupin tried to be inconspicuous, that made him stand out more. Beside he was one of the Golden Gryffindors. Potter and Black were the envies of many, due to their Quidditch skills and foolish and daring pranks. Many even envied Pettigrew, whom younger years found cute blonde. Many thought I hated Potter, but I don't hate him nearly as I hate Black.
If Potter was god in Quidditch, then Black was the god among people. He was Apollo with his mighty strength and irresistible smile. People ached to hold his attention, they wanted to receive his flash of light, the flash of warmth. He could have anyone he wanted with his charm. With the rate girls fell in and out of him, it was rumored that he was quite a lover.
And now, he wanted Lupin. He could have anyone, but he wanted what I wanted. It was always a competition. Whenever I was tutoring Lupin in the library, I felt his eyes on me. Spying me, warning me, challenging me. It was a game, you see. Who will win Lupin. And when he suddenly felt I was stepping over the line, he would rush in and collect Lupin with silly excuses, like he needed Lupin to find his homework. Then he would flash his triumphant smiles at me and walked away, possessive hand over Lupin's shoulder.
I made a promise to myself, that I would never let Black ruin this pure innocence. That I would never let Black taint him with his filthy paws. I wouldn't go without a fight. I stared at Lupin's lips. His soft lips, and I leaned in. I captured his honey sweet lips and kissed him.
I could feel myself getting hard.
Lily Evans:
It was not very surprising to find many 6th and 7th years had left to join the aurors, to fight the death eaters, after the holiday break was over. And some of younger students never returned here, which made Hogwarts seemed empty for the returning students. The school looked remarkably the same, before the attack. Everything was restored back to its original form, and I couldn't tell if we had only dreamed of that horrible night.
I've received a letter from Remus after Christmas, and that's how I learned of Mr. Stafford's death. When I came back, all of us gave him long and hard hugs, trying to tell him that he wasn't alone, that we were there for him.
Then Remus told us, Dumbledore became his guardian, and that he would be staying here during summer, helping out. We wondered what he had been doing over the break, but he never offered, and we didn't ask. He was quiet. I mean all of us were quiet and depressed, but I think Remus was more so. His last two transformations were horrible, he had came back exhausted and didn't go to class for three days.
I was worried, Remus was never the strongest of us, and I worried that the lost of Mr. Stafford could easily kill him in spirit. Sirius stayed with him as if he was Remus's shadow. He even skipped his Quidditch practices. James didn't object, of course. None of them really wanted to play the game during the time of darkness. It was only a game after all. So many of us were dying and killing. It seemed our happy days were out numbered by the dark ones.
One should never give up hope if one wants to win. But it was hard to keep on hopes when we knew full well that we could die any time. Only thing that drove us to go on every day was hope, and our hopes were shaking thin in front of us. How could we go on with hope? I asked desperately, after I received news that Sirius's parents were killed from the recent attack.
Then the answer came one night, when I saw Sirius gently putting his hand on the leaner boy, and Remus smiled up at him. And they shared a kiss. And I knew it then, that we could win this thing. The answer was love. The hate can never win over love. It would be our love that will help us survive anything and everything.
tbc...