Year 1976
Madame Pomfrey:
I had heard of a distant rumor. One might consider it a fairy tale or a silly legend from the Lost Ages, long before even Merlin was born, but some things had turned out to be the truth or the prophecy many times before. Some things that turned our world inside out.
The Lost Ages were mostly believed as another world all together. Some say that the magical creatures ruled the world, and even the non-magical animals had the intelligence to talk or communicate with the humans. The other say even all humans were magical, but something happened that separated few to be muggles, then they multiplied and the wizards diminished…
The coming of Jesus Christ was prophesized from the Lost Ages. The coming of Black Death, even Hitler too. And even some wizards argued that the coming of Lord Voldemort was already written long before. We just didn't look at the words hard enough to prevent it…
Then there's the rumor, one that prophesized the coming of the young warrior, who will save us all from the Dark wizard, but in doing so, his parents would ultimately pay the price.
How terrible for a young one, to save us all, but to lose his parents… it's a crummy deal, if there was ever one.
Lord Voldemort:
"You have failed me for the last time, Kurtz."
"My lord, please. Give me another chance. I promise I will-" My stupid servant babbled on, trying to bid his worthless time. He had failed me yet again, and now tried to flee from me.
"You give your promises easily as you fuck your boy toys. Didn't you know that a man who can't keep a promise is not worth anything?" My patient had finally run out.
I turned to face my other servants, eager to take over Kurtz's position. "Kill him," I said slowly, almost bored by his terrified feature.
"Please, sir," Kurtz pleaded as he was led away. "You have to listen to-"
"And shut his filthy mouth from making any more squeaks," I added. "Remember to give him a long slow death, Malfoy."
I had trusted the stupid minion far too long to do a simple job. Make it quick and silent, I had told him and the others. But what did these minions do!? They almost burned down the whole fucking school and the students with it. And now Dumbledore has put on stronger protection, making my job harder than before. Only one job they managed to do properly was leaving behind the body of Edgar DuMaurie for Dumbledore to find and their calling card, the death mark. So now, the old fool knows who I am. He had stood in my way in the past and now he has gotten what I want the most. He will have a day with me, and I will spit in his noble façade of lies, and laugh at his fallen demise. I shall turn the only tie he has to his greatest failure and lies into the greatest heartache and sorrow of all. And when that day comes, everyone will see whom Dumbledore really is. A fraud. A murderer. A heartless killer.
And they will hail me as the savior, the hero, the leader of them all.
Severus Snape:
I banged my fist against the wall in frustration and in anger. I had lost my control in mere sight of him, in mere close distance. I should hate the beast, the monster, but my body had another idea. I was so fucking hard, I couldn't even walk without thinking about him.
Remus J. Lupin was a werewolf, who almost killed me. He was nothing but a dark creature. Nothing but an…irresistible being. I banged my fist again, and even kicked my foot against the thin air.
Oh Merlin, I hate him for making me feel this way. I wanted to rip out his heart and stump on it for a good measure. Then he would know the fraction of how I had felt. I touched my lips, remembering his soft mouth felt against my wondering tongue and what it felt like lying so close on top of his trembling form.
Damn that wolf! He made me want him. He must have used a dark magic to make me this way. I cursed his name, his friends, and even his parents.
I went inside the empty Prefects' bathroom, and relieved myself of my robe, which stink of his smell. I turned on the cold water, attempting to cool my hot body. It was almost summer, and I will leave Hogwarts soon, away from him, which was a relief.
I closed my eyes and saw his handsome, innocent face and I relieved my aching member slowly again and again.
Remus Lupin:
Walking back to my dorm was harder than I had anticipated. Severus had left me at least half an hour ago. My body was cold, so cold, still recovering from the terrible nightmare I had inflicted upon myself. I sighed, resting my head against the wall, trying desperately not to think of…anything. Nothing at all.
I heard the gentle sound of rainfalls through the closed windows. Windows. They reminded me of the night Severus had run with me. Funny, I can't really remember much about the Ball. I had been so nervous, so afraid, yet happy. Professor Dumbledore was handing out red and green punch in cups. And I had danced with…
Sirius.
I shook my head to present, near June, summer night. I will not think of him, I had told myself forcefully…
Sirius had cried himself to sleep in my bed, after he learned of his parent's death. I had no words to calm him but only of my mere presence. He had hugged me as if I was his childhood stuffed toy, and slept. He slept for days. Then one day, he was all better. He had that determined look on his eyes, a look that told me he was no longer a boy, but a man. A look that scared me a little, because I knew that look well.
I had seen that look in my own eyes, few minutes after I transformed back. I had the look of the beast. It was the look of revenge. For the things I don't really fathom ever since I could remember, but the beast wanted revenge. If he didn't get it, he took it out on me, my human side.
And perhaps, Sirius took it out on me…my wolf side, the dark side…
I opened my eyes to stare at the dark sky, where the rain came from. I wasn't even aware that I had come outside into the open down pour of cold water. The summer rain shouldn't be so cold.
Does it rain where they live?
A question roused deep inside my brain suddenly. Then another thought quickly displaced the question.
Don't you dare hope, Lupin. Don't you dare dwell on the past and what ifs.
I felt the heat on my face, and I tried to cool it down with my cold hands. "The fever," Madame Pomfrey told me, "the fever might return, love, and when they do, you must come to me immediately."
Come to me, love.
My breath was caught in my throat as the howl resonated through out the forest. I looked around and found myself at the edge of the dark forest. I had walk without knowing, as if I was being pulled.
Come with me.
Another howl. Closer this time.
I shivered, not of fear, but of cold, as the icy water seeped through my thin robe and ravaged me of any heat I had.
Come with me, now.
"Who are you?" I whispered hoarsely. I watched my breath leaving through the cold air. And I waited…for a reply.
Sirius Black:
I was pacing to and fro in front of Fat Lady to the hallway leading to the Library. I found out from Peter that Remus might come back today, and I've been waiting for him for hours. I paced faster, trying to calm my nerve, going over what I will do, what I will say, when I see him.
"Damn it!" I cursed under my breath, wiping away my perspirations for what seemed like a thousandth time. The air was scorching with late spring and early summer heat, and I was sweating like a dog. Only thing was I didn't have a tongue to cool myself down against the humid weather.
"Shit!" I cursed again as the loud thunder cracked near the open window in the hallway, scaring me a little, and making me feel stupid for getting scared of a little thunderstorm. My palms were all wet and I wiped them against back of my robe. Huffing, I walked further and further away from my dorm. Still pacing to and fro a little.
Last few weeks had been a hell for me. If I could take back what I did, I would. I, so, would give anything to take back what I had done to Remus. Even that bastard, Snape. But I would never regret getting rid of Snape from Remus. Now that he knows what Remus is, he showed his true color and stayed away from my love. That, I would never regret. Remus is safer now.
I started to pace again, in agitated nervous sort of the way. It was getting late, and I wondered how long I had to pace, how long I had to wait until…I would see him.
I saw him. It was unmistakable. Out there, in the open rain, a thin hunched figure was blindly running toward…
Oh SHIT!
…to the dark forest. In the split of a second, I froze, and the millions of thoughts ran through me like a runaway train.
Where is he going?
Then I heard the distinct howl that twisted my heart. Wolves. The forest isn't safe. Remus might be a werewolf, but he won't be a match to the pack of wolves in the forest.
I started to run, but keeping close to the window. I saw him stop near the edge of the forest, his back toward my view. He looked uncertain, and I ran faster. Going down the stairs, I prayed to Merlin, I would catch up to him.
I collided with someone as I ran, but I didn't stop to see who it was, and I didn't even care anything but getting to Remus. I didn't know why I had felt so desperate, but it must have been a feeling of dread of something terrible that was about to happen. It was a fear that I would lose him forever somehow.
I ran outside, against the warm, wet summer air, and ran toward where I had last seen Remus.
Efrem Kurtz:
"You don't understand! You must kill him!" I yelped as I was pushed down against the wet dirt, hands tied behind my back.
"My Lord, please, you must listen to me!" I pleaded with the diminishing form of Lord Voldemort. "You must kill him before he ruins you! The prophesy-" There was a red spark, and I lost my voice. The death eaters surrounded me, hovering over my trembling form.
The Prophesy! My mind yelled. The Prophesy was never wrong. Never once wrong! Ultimately he will fail and fail again.
Unless he kills the young one before-
Remus Lupin:
My mouth fell open slightly as I clutched my robe tighter, at the sight of a silver wolf in front of me. It was a she wolf. But she wasn't any normal wolf, for she was bigger, a lot bigger. Even when she lied down on all four, the height of her head was taller than my own.
I approached her further into the forest. It didn't feel strange that I wasn't afraid of her, for she was studying my form through her penetrating golden eyes that showed wisdom and intelligence beyond ages.
I breathed out in gasps, feeling my head getting lighter. It was no doubt in my mind that she was a lunar lupine.
A lunar lupine in the forbidden forest? I thought they were extinct long ago. Many believed they were just a legend, made up story. Who would have thought?
My kneed buckled finally from my trembling state. I looked at her eyes, suddenly feeling emotional and choked up for unknown reason. I didn't know I was sobbing, until she gently licked my tears away. I buried my face in her soft silver furred belly, clutching the warmth and the comfort I had missed all my life.
"It was you. You came for me," I told her, hugging her warm body.
I promised you I would.
"How did you know, I-" lifting my head to look at her turned face.
You are one of us, pup. We can always sense the one of our own...
I watched her jaw muscle contracting.
…even if you are a human child. We do make an exception now and then.
She lied down once more on the ground, her silver hairs not tainted by wet mud.
Come on, love, we don't have much time.
I climbed onto her back and grab onto her neck.
"Where are we going?" I asked near her right ear, suddenly afraid yet excited.
Home.
She looked back at me as she stood.
You are going home. With me, San.
Sirius Black:
"Shit!" I gasped out as I wiped the rain away from my eyes. It was pouring and I couldn't see a damn thing. My shoes were muddy and heavy, my robe soaking wet, dragging down.
"Remus!" I yelled his name, but there was no answer. I doubt he could hear me with all the rain. I looked around to see if anyone was around, and I transformed into Paddy the Black Dog. I ran faster and with more accuracy now that I could sense Remus.
He was deep inside the forest. I sniffed as I ran, and learned that he wasn't alone. I growled in determination.
I am coming, Remus, wait for me.
I barked, calling him.
Remus! Where are you? Come back!
I caught a scent of his smell, and I took off. Barking madly. Calling him back, toward me, toward safety.
The forest was darker and colder as I ran farther and farther away from Hogwarts, but I didn't care. Only thing on Paddy's simple mind was Remus. He was going further away, every step I hesitated.
Remus Lupin:
I let San's words sink in. And I buried my face on her back, letting her carry me off to her home, our home, my home. My heart never felt so lighter, and my heavy body never felt so warm and content since Mr. Stafford, it was as if I was meant to be with her since I was born.
I closed my eyes, I didn't want to see the darkness of the forest. I was tired. As if I had come to the end of the long journey. I listened to her steady heartbeats under my body and her paws hitting the ground in uniform intervals.
Then I heard something that made me open my eyes, breaking my blissful warmth into the chilly air.
"San," I tugged her hair. "I heard something."
Don't worry about it. I will loose him soon enough.
"Him?"
Then I heard his bark distinctly. Padfoot. He was calling me back.
"San! I know him. San, he's coming for me," I told her looking backward, where Padfoot was, where Sirius was.
I know. I heard him running since we entered the forest of Esa.
The barking was fainter, but still there, drawing me back. The memory of his laughing face and gentle kisses came back. But the reminder of what he had done was evident in front my eyes, where my bandaged arms were clutching San's beautiful hair.
I heard his howl, long one, calling me.
"It's not safe for him alone, San." She didn't reply.
"San, we have to go-"
Back?She halted abruptly.
Remus, you have a choice.
I straighten my back as I met her wise eyes.
You know what they are.
I nodded as the calls from Sirius came closer.
I had a choice, just like Mr. Stafford told me long ago. I had a choice between San vs. Sirius; between families vs. friends; between acceptances vs. rejections; between easy vs. hard.
I squeezed my eyes, about to tell her to go, but the howl of the dog made me open my eyes.
Between promises made vs. broken.
San was looking at me, waiting for my decision.
Between promises made vs. kept.
I had made a promise to Sirius, that restless night as he cried himself to sleep after his parent's death. I had made a promise to never to leave him. I promised him.
I sighed, letting the air escape, feeling sadder. San blinked her eyes, understanding my decision. She lowered her legs, letting me down gently from her back.
"I have a promise to keep, San. I am sorry-"
No, she shook her head gently. I knew this was to happen. She told me so, but I thought I could at least try…
"What? Who do you mean, San?" I looked at her in question, but she smiled mysteriously and shook her head once again.
We will meet again, Remus.
She licked my hand gently and looked pass my head.
You won't see me for a long time…I let my hand drop in sadness.
…but you WILL see me again, Remus. I promise you that.
She sniffed her nose, looking passed me once more.
Be well, pup. Until we meet again…"Good bye…" I waved as I watched her silvery form disappear through the darkness. For a moment, I was completely alone and in the dark. I felt lost once again. I started to walk back to Hogwarts.
I heard the paws coming closer and closer, until I saw the sweat or rain glistened black dog charging toward me. When he saw me, the dog stopped short, his dirty paws digging into muddy soils.
Huffling his air, he transformed into Sirius Black. It had been more a month, since I saw him, and he looked the same, yet different, but still the same old Sirius. His impeccable appearance, nowhere to be found.
"Sirius," my voice suddenly full of emotion.
"Remus," he gasped, his eyes full of tears, "Remus." He trembled, yet keeping his eyes on my own.
We stood there, staring into each other, under the falling rain, unable to form any words. We just breathed. We breathed the other, we breathed in the other's presence as if we were each other's air, water, and soul. No word was needed.
When he kissed my lips, I felt truly at home at last.
As we were walking back so close together, after the rain had finally stopped, I heard San's howl from far away.
I never break my promise.
I smiled to myself, feeling Sirius's warm arms around my legs and back, as he carried me back. I laid my head on to his chest, feeling drained. Closing my eyes in exhaustion and in relief, I agreed with her.
Neither did I, San. Neither do I.
Sirius Black:
My lung strained to drink in air as my eyes drank in his fair form.
There he was.
My eyes did not see how thin he looked, how his fair skin was so pallid, how his cracked lips looked so cold against the wet weather, how his golden hair lost its brilliance, how he was hunched over clutching his heart. My eyes passed over all his frailties, but saw his irresistible laughter in the wind, his Mona Lisa smile on his red, red, kiss swollen lips, and his hopeless believes of fairytale like valor and honor, and most importantly, his ideal of everlasting true love.
Love. Yes. I love him. I love Remus J. Lupin.
"Sirius," he spoke so softly to me, and I could feel my tears falling and falling.
I love you, Remus.
"Remus," I gasped out his name. His so beautiful name that rolled out of my tongue easily as one would breathe in its air.
His golden eyes shining like the two warm lanterns, guiding my heart to my very soul mate.
I don't think either of us knew how long we stood apart. But one thing I would remember for the rest of my life was how it felt to hold him so close to my heart again.
There, under the shroud of raindrops, I kissed him. Softly at first, a little hesitant, but fierce longing and desire shook us both, as the rain fell relentlessly, we gave and received forgiveness. He cried out against my firmly clamped lips as he lost himself to me, loving me enough to let himself go. Letting his body to heat up with passion, he had never known he possessed. He was lost in the brief ecstasy that I was able to bring him with buckling of my hips and heated kisses on his skin.
He gave himself to me, the traitor of his trust.
Why?
Because he loved me.
And I cried as I lost myself in ecstasy with him, because I knew I did not deserve it. And I made another promise to myself that I would never hurt him again. A countless Black promises that would break Remus in the future.
The rain had passed, when we woke from our lingering love ecstasy. As we walked, I felt his weak legs giving out before he, Remus even knew. And I, after brief protests from Remus, carried his rapidly cooling body closer to my heart, headed for Hogwarts.
It must have been the dim lights, or my foolish overjoyed heart that overlooked it, for I had failed to see any change in Remus in the forest. My mind didn't question what had happened to him, or what it was that took him, because I was too dimwitted to think of anything dark or intelligent. My steps were springy and too happy to have him back in my heart, I overlooked his shivering breath and burning cheeks, not from passion or desire, but from the raging fever.
But Madame Pomfrey was no fool. She had gasped, breaking her lantern to pieces under our feet, when she saw him in his state. I didn't hear Pomfrey's livid questions nor did I notice the passage of time.
I had a strange dream that night. One with a woman floating, no spinning, on the air gently. She looked at me suddenly, as if I wasn't supposed to be there, watching her, and called out, "Jeremiah!" in such urgency; I woke up with a startle.
Shaking my head, I looked around to find, Remus sleeping, tucked in firmly under the thick comforter, his hair peeking out. His hair. I looked again. I was so foolishly happy I didn't even notice the basic change. Just above his right ear, his golden brown hair was streaked with silver.
I had a long talk with Pomfrey while he slept, and we both decided it would be best not to tell anyone about this. Not even, Remus, himself. No point in worrying him over a little patch of gray hair.
His hair should have rang an alarm bell inside my ears about who he was with that night, but I simply chose to ignore anything abnormal believing it was the wolf in him that had caused this. I forgot about it as quickly as I could, for the sake of normalcy I wanted us to have.
With a twist of a wand, his hair was as good as new.
Just like our broken hearts. We were inseparable during the last days before the summer was upon us. He was back in his classes, making up missed work, and taking O.W.L. like the rest of 5th years. I had to think of his loving eyes to suppress my fists, as I watched Snape working so closely by Remus. My heart thump against my chest in fear and in anger, whenever Snape glinted his angry eyes on Remus, but for the most part, he stayed far from us as he could manage.
Then the dreaded summer came.
We had to be apart for two whole months, before we could love each other physically again.
Severus Snape:
When the dark lord came during that hot summer, I eagerly accepted his hand and kissed it to seal my fate, for he had promised me the unimaginable power of dark arts, the world of change and most importantly, the downfall for the one who had betrayed my trust and favored a murderer and a beast over me, Dumbledore.
It was far better when I did not know what Lupin truly was. I could have believed that I merely had a boyhood crush on him. But now that I know, my body knows the truth too.
Every time, the beast was close to me, I had to suppress my body's desire to take him. It was almost like an obsession, madness for wanting the dark creature, wanting to control the dark power, wanting to own Lupin. I had to dig my nails into my palms painfully, to suppress my weak body from ever giving in to that mad temptation.
Our 7th year rolled around, and as I watched Black's dirty hand slipping under the table in the Great Hall, no doubt giving a torturous jerk off again to Lupin for his sick twisted mind (which I had learned quite by an accident), I realized something I had missed before. Something I didn't know I had. The knowledge of his secret was not a burden, but an opportunity. I had possessed the power over Lupin and his gang of Gryffindors.
One slip of a mouth, I could cast Lupin away forever, they knew it, especially Lupin knew that, but I did not……until now.
Now, that's an interesting development in my favor.
tbc