(sung to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody)
Aziraphale:
The world is ending.
There was a prophecy.
So say goodbye to
This world and reality.
Crowley:
Hell will yawn wide
The Horsemen will ride, you see?
I'm just a demon, and Hell has no sushi.
Because either way the choices blow -
Heav'n above, Hell below.
Any way the War goes, means eternal boredom for me -
Both:
for me.
Crowley:
Angel, Hell had a plan.
The Antichrist is here,
Now this demon shakes with fear.
Angel, Earth is so much fun
But now he's come to blow it all away.
Aziraphale:
Crowley, ooo
We could influence the guy
To good or evil or something in between them
to see which side he's on, but free will is a bugger.
DEATH:
TOO LATE, TIME IS DONE
The Delivery Man:
I delivered here on time.
Here're your things now could you sign?
Famine:
Goodbye puny mortal. You've got to go.
Pollution:
Gonna leave this world behind and beat the rush.
Apocalyptic Horseperson:
Humans ooo (any way the War* goes)
DEATH:
THEY'RE ALL GONNA DIE.
War:
Then Heaven and Hell will wage their final battle.
Anathema:
Ancestor Agnes saw the ending of the world.
Newton Pulsifer:
If that's true, you're a witch! Please! Can I count your nipples?
Shadwell:
With my trusty hand I exorcized that damned pansy!
The THEM:
Brian, Pepper, (Brian, Pepper)
Wensley, Dog and (Wensley, Dog and)
ADAM Young the Antichrist.
Crowley:
Where did he go-o-o?
Hastur and Ligur:
Since you have screwed up, we'll kill you Crowley.
Crowley:
But now your "blessed" with water that you didn't see.
Aziraphale (possessing Marvin O. Bagman):
Please get a life! Is this national TV?!
Crowley:
Hastur's stuck in the phone. Better hit the road.
Metropolitan Police:
It rained fish! So? Do you see this road glow?! (This road glows!)
Big Ted, Greaser, Pigbog and Skuzz:
Our names suck! We'll change 'em as we go. (as we go!)
Apocalyptic Horsepersons:
We signal the end of all you know. (all you know)
We're here to spread some woe - spread some woe. (It all)
It all must go - all must go
The world must go ooo.
Madam Tracy:
Geronimo-o-o-o-o-o-o!
Crowley:
I've killed Ligur. Hell's against me! London traffic is too slow.
The Bentley's Possessed Radio:
Beelzebub would like a word with you, Crowle-e-ey.
Crowle-e-ey
Crowleeeey!!!
*Musical Interlude*
ADAM:
So you think you can use me and then say goodbye!
Why save the trees or the whales if they're just going to die!
Oh maybe I'm the Devil's baby
But I grew up to be just a small human boy.
All:
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Crowley:
The Great War was a failure.
Aziraphale:
Ineffable, you see?
Both:
Who can understand God?
Who can understand God? Not me!
~*~
* This refers to the Great War not the anthropomorphic personification.
Original Lyrics copyright Freddie Mercury
Characters copyright Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
Used here with good intentions but without permission.