Part 15
Shenandoah Valley Northern Virginia 1630 Local
"Corinna, ladies, how good of you to visit. Won't you come in?" Avis smiled and held the door open, nodding to each of the church ladies as they entered. These six women were the movers and shakers of town society. Avis was always careful to count fingers and toes after venturing into their sphere of influence. Sharks could take lessons from them.
Corinna pasted on a smile for her future daughter-in-law. She was still slightly annoyed about Avis' intransigence yesterday, "Deacon Turner mentioned your guest and her unfortunate circumstances. I took the liberty of consulting with my church group and we agreed that helping would be the Christian thing to do." She didn't mention that they were all consumed with curiosity. No one could remember ever meeting someone from Russia. Corinna was in a fair way of convincing herself that Avis' friend was probably nothing more than peasant stock. Given the young woman's penchant for talking with anyone and everyone, she wouldn't be surprised if this person turned out to be a penniless guttersnipe.
Biddy Collins spoke up, "Is it true she's a cousin of the Tsar?" Corinna flashed her an irritated look. Biddy was old enough to have buried three husbands. She had acquired a good deal of property and a multitude of offspring but very little sense.
"Gracious, no, Mrs. Collins," Avis smiled brightly, "Miss Dzurick is the daughter of a Russian diplomat. We met in France and I told her that she simply had to visit me should she ever come to Virginia." She fluttered a hand as she led the eager ladies towards the parlor, "You can imagine how awful I feel that this incident should be her first experience in our fair state." She slid open the parlor doors, calling, "Sasha! We have guests." Avis walked into the room and stepped to the side, watching carefully.
It was hard not to laugh. However nervous Sarah had seemed to be before this, there was no sign of it now. Even with the bruise on the side of her jaw, she was an elegantly beautiful woman. The deep burgundy dress complimented her coloring. Avis had made the bodice more form-fitting, Sarah was slender enough even without a corset. Her hair had required a little imagination, it just reached her shoulders. They'd managed to sweep it up into a small bun. Judicious use of decorative combs had completed the look. Her bearing as she turned to face the ladies made Avis regret that they hadn't tried passing Sarah off as Russian royalty. She looked like a queen granting an audience to a group of dowdy merchants' wives. The effect wasn't lost on the church ladies, even Corinna seemed awestruck. Avis hurried into the breach, before the silence could become uncomfortable, "Ladies? May I present Miss Sasha Natalya Dzurick?"
Mac inclined her head with a slight smile, "Rada s vamee poznakomit'siy." She hesitated for just a moment and then said in a softly accented voice, "How do you do?"
Avis nodded, trying to keep a decorous expression, "Sasha, may I present Corinna Simpson, the mother of my fiance? And this is Maude Sifer... " Eventually, she made her way through the group while Mac smiled and murmured, 'Zdravstvuyte.' to each lady. Introductions over, Avis smiled again, "Won't you all make yourselves comfortable? I'll be back in a moment with the tea." Mac headed straight for a centrally located wingback chair. The ladies watched to see where she was sitting and began jockeying for positions that were closest. Corinna stood torn, undecided whether to follow Avis and help with the tea (thus being in a position to find out more about her guest) or claiming the prime seat closest to Miss Dzurick as her due for being the leader.
In the end, she claimed her seat. Eudora Dickerson was angling to move up through the group. It was common knowledge that Corinna had lost some ground when her son proposed to one of the not-quite-acceptable Payne women. The uneducated, unwashed elements of town were gleefully claiming that Avis had put a spell on the handsome son of Corinna Simpson. It would be like Eudora to make a point of challenging Corinna's position in the Payne home.
Mac settled in the wingback and watched as the pecking order sorted itself out. There'd been a moment of quiet tension when Corinna Simpson had locked eyes with another lady over the seat immediately to the left of Mac's chair. The undercurrents in the room were as fierce as any actual combat. She stifled a sigh, wishing she could have escaped to the kitchen with Avis for even a little while. Her attention was dragged back into the room when Corinna began speaking to her in a loud, slow voice. Resisting the urge to put a finger in the ear closest to Corinna, Mac smiled politely, "Pardon?"
Corinna blinked and then started over again, "I said it was a most unfortunate incident and I hoped you would not judge all of Virginia by such acts."
Mac inclined her head slightly, "How can I when I've been treated with such kindness by Miss Avis, Mr. Turner and now, of course, you ladies?" It was some small bit of revenge to mention Deacon in the same sentence with the church ladies.
"Um, well... yes, how good of you to feel that way," Corinna shot a glance at the other ladies. It wasn't exactly the answer she was expecting.
Avis came back just then carrying a tray laden with a beautiful silver tea service and a platter of small cakes. Automatically, Mac started to push herself out of the chair only to be reminded rather forcefully that her abdominal muscles weren't that far along in healing. She stopped where she was, gritting her teeth and closing her eyes as she waited for the pain to pass. Her eyes flew open when she felt a hand rest briefly on her arm. Startled, she watched as Corinna rose to assist Avis. Carefully, she eased back into the chair and a minute or so later, Avis appeared in front of her with a cup of tea and a little dish of cakes. "Are you all right? You worried Corinna," she asked in a quiet undertone.
Mac nodded, taking a careful breath, "I moved without thinking, it will pass." Avis looked at her a moment longer, then patted her knee and went back to her hostess duties.
As soon as all the ladies were served, Corinna came back and sat down. She sipped her tea and then leaned unobtrusively towards Mac, "I beg your pardon, Miss Dzurick, you should be resting. We will leave as soon as politeness allows." Mac gave a minute nod and Corinna turned her attention to the ladies. In an louder tone, she addressed Avis, effectively cutting off Eudora who had been about to launch a barrage of questions at Mac, "My dear, you simply must give me the recipe for these cakes. They're so wonderfully light. Aren't they, Mrs. Dickerson?"
Surprised, Eudora stuttered a moment while she changed gears, "Wha... oh yes." She offered Avis an insincere smile, "Just delightful." Although she maintained a polite facade, her frustration was almost palpable as Corinna took control of the conversation. Less than fifteen minutes later, Corinna stood and began ushering the group out of the room. She smiled at Avis and Mac, "I hate to leave so abruptly, but you know how busy our church group has been lately. Thank you so much for meeting with us, Miss Durzick." She waved a hand as Mac started to shift, "Please don't get up. I'm sure I speak for the rest of the ladies when I say we hope to see more of you during your stay. Avis, tea was delightful, I'll see you tomorrow."
Avis saw them to the door and then came back into the parlor and flopped gracelessly onto the sofa. With an exaggerated sigh, she held her hands up in front of her face and wiggled her fingers.
"What are you doing?" Mac asked with a smile.
"Counting," Avis shuddered dramatically and raised her feet, "Everything seems intact. That Eudora Dickerson was entirely too close for comfort. Honestly, the woman reeks of ruthless ambition." She was fell silent, frowning.
Mac felt a prickling at the back of her neck, "She's dangerous, isn't she?"
"Ye-es," Avis drew the word out thoughtfully, "And not just for us, Corinna is in this, too." She looked over at Mac and raised an eyebrow, "I believe this is the first time that my future mother-in-law not only hasn't felt mortified by my behavior, but has actually treated me as an ally. You're quite the catalyst."
"Me?" Mac shook her head, "I doubt that." Carefully, she began to lever herself out of the chair.
Avis bounced up and gave her a hand, "You should rest while I get supper started."
"No," Mac headed for the tray, "The least I can do is help clean up. You've been doing all the work, I don't want to be a burden."
"You're not a burden. You're a guest and an injured guest at that." Avis deftly intercepted the tray and smiled at the exasperation on Mac's face, "If you're going to be stubborn about this, I will consider allowing you to sit at the kitchen table. You may entertain me while I go about my chores."
"Entertain you?" Mac put her fists on her hips, "I'll have you know that I'm not so decrepit that I can't wash a few dishes or help prepare a meal."
Avis rolled her eyes, "All right, all right, but any assistance you render will be done sitting down." She grinned and batted her eyelashes, "I am far too delicate to be prying you off the floor and carrying you to your bed."
Mac snorted and then chuckled, "I might collapse just to see you try." Smiling, the two women headed for the kitchen.
Shenandoah Valley Northern Virginia 0330 Local
"No!" Mac's eyes flew open and she bit back a groan as she tried to shove herself into a sitting position. She made it as far as her elbows and rolled to the side, clamping an arm across her midsection. Roger watched her from the foot of the bed and when she didn't move any further, apparently decided that an earwashing was called for. Mac watched him absently. Avis claimed he was as good as any watchdog. He always knew when someone was coming. If it was a person he knew, she could tell from his reaction who it was. Deacon made him purr; with Corinna, he would leave the room howling; for Avril, he would sit by the front door and sing a song of welcome.
Mac sighed heavily. The nightmare that had awoken her was fast receding, leaving her to deal with the faint residue of terror. She ran a hand through her hair and dropped back into the pillows. At least this had been more like a normal nightmare with swirling scenes of Avis, Eudora, Josiah and Ezra Caine. Mac stared up into the darkness. She was fairly certain that there was nothing psychic about it - listening to Avis had made her more aware of such things. This was probably nothing more than a reaction to the stress of meeting the neighborhood mafia.
Despite Avis' assurances that she carried off the charade in grand style, Mac wasn't so sure. The Dickerson woman had been bursting with questions; that Corinna had headed her off at the pass and then cut the meeting short hadn't set well at all. You didn't have to be psychic to see the resentment and anger bubbling under surface. She wondered just how ruthless Eudora Dickerson could be. Mac scrubbed at her face and then loosely clasped her hands above her head. Such competitiveness seemed silly when the reward was no higher than being the social queen of a very small town. That didn't make the stakes any less hazardous. Avis, Deacon and now, an unwitting Corinna, had left themselves open to the wrath of the community. In this day and age, that anger could easily become physical.
For everyone's sake, she ought to try to get back to the Union army... and Josiah. However, it was something she was reluctant to do. For one thing, she was finally close to the White Horse Tavern. It was little more than an hour away by buggy. The McNairs still owned it, Avis had filled her in on the details of Mary Patrick's breakdown. Avis had also told her that she had a theory about getting Mac back to her own century. She wouldn't say any more on the subject, beyond telling her that time and circumstances weren't right yet. The one time Mac had pressed her about it, Avis had clammed up, but the look on her face reminded Mac of Shakespeare's line, 'By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes.' She hadn't pursued it any further.
The other problem was that she found she didn't want to be associated with the Union army. She had filled Avis in on what was going to happen and the young woman's reaction had been much like Deacon's. The problem would be warning anyone else without giving her away. Avis was going to try it as a psychic moment with Corinna and hope that it wasn't dismissed out of hand. That she'd already had inklings of it, made a more precise prediction that much more plausible. Mac wasn't quite sure what good the warnings would do - the Shenandoah was still going to be burned. What she didn't know was how far up the mountain slopes the Yankees would go. Would it be possible to hide some of the livestock and foodstuffs up there until the Army had passed through? Deacon, when asked, had allowed that it was possible but pointed out that keeping the stock alive through the winter would be practically impossible. Once the Union army destroyed the crops, there would be no forage. The whole thing left Mac feeling horribly guilty.
Finally, there was Josiah. She was afraid to see him again, afraid of her feelings for him. This would be the third day since her kidnapping and she discovered he was occupying equal space with Harm. That left her feeling guilty as well, it was a wonder she didn't drown in it. ...And there was the worry. Mac found she wasn't as worried about Harm as she was about Josiah. After all, for all she knew, no one in her present time even realized she was missing. Josiah, on the other hand, was liable to do something foolish. She could only pray that Tommy and Billy could keep him safe and not let him do anything that would get him killed. What truly scared her was that seeing him again might make her reconsider going back at all.
For that matter, going back scared her - period. She'd been so focused on whether or not it was possible that she hadn't considered the consequences. It was another of those conundrums that was guaranteed to drive her crazy. If... when she returned to her own time, would it be at the precise moment that she'd left? She was pretty sure it had happened before she drove off the road. (Which meant that somewhere on Massanutten Mountain in 1864, there was a wrecked 2001 Ford sedan.) Did that mean she wouldn't have the accident? That she'd make it to DC that night and be on the bench the following morning? Would she even remember all of this happening? Would it have happened?
Or... would she appear after being missing for several months with her only explanation being one that no one would possibly believe? She'd probably go from the pysch ward in Bethesda straight to Leavenworth for being AWOL. The worst part of that scenario would be Harm. If the past was any indication, he'd go crazy trying to find her. She'd become one of his obsessions and he'd probably wreck his career because of it. Mac knew he would try to believe her story but she also knew he'd be hurt thinking she didn't trust him with the truth. More than likely, he'd decide it was Webb's fault (if he hadn't already). Clay would wind up with another broken nose for something he hadn't done.
Even worse, Harm might look at her past and decide that she'd run away again; that she couldn't handle a relationship with him and had just left without a word of explanation. When she showed up again, she'd be lucky if he would even speak to her and then, what would she say? He'd be insulted that she'd invent some cock and bull story of being lost in the past - that she couldn't just admit that she'd had second thoughts and left. Oh hell, what if he thought she'd chosen to disappear deliberately, knowing his fears about letting someone get close? He could easily wind up hating her.
Mac pressed her hands over her eyes, 'Stop it!' If she let herself get caught up in worst case scenarios, she might as well borrow Avis' scattergun and blow her brains out right now. She grunted when ten pounds of cat landed on her chest. Pulling her hands away, she saw Roger's furry face was only inches from her own. When he saw she was watching, he began to purr and tilted his head towards her. Mac raised an eyebrow and began scratching an ear, "I see, since I'm up I might as well make myself useful?" Roger's only response was to angle his head for a chin rub while the volume of his purr increased. Mac felt herself calming down as she concentrated on scritching. Roger was downright therapeutic. She'd let the nightmare get to her, tainting her concerns. Worrying about things over which she had no control was stupid, as was tormenting herself with catastrophic what-ifs. What would happen, would happen and she would deal with it as it came.
"Thanks, Roger," she gave him a final pat and watched as he hopped off the bed and sauntered to the open window. Jumping up on the windowsill, he looked back at her and then disappeared into the pre-dawn darkness. With a sigh, Mac burrowed back into the pillows for a few more hours' sleep.
Shenandoah Valley Northern Virginia 1630 Local
"Corinna, ladies, how good of you to visit. Won't you come in?" Avis smiled and held the door open, nodding to each of the church ladies as they entered. These six women were the movers and shakers of town society. Avis was always careful to count fingers and toes after venturing into their sphere of influence. Sharks could take lessons from them.
Corinna pasted on a smile for her future daughter-in-law. She was still slightly annoyed about Avis' intransigence yesterday, "Deacon Turner mentioned your guest and her unfortunate circumstances. I took the liberty of consulting with my church group and we agreed that helping would be the Christian thing to do." She didn't mention that they were all consumed with curiosity. No one could remember ever meeting someone from Russia. Corinna was in a fair way of convincing herself that Avis' friend was probably nothing more than peasant stock. Given the young woman's penchant for talking with anyone and everyone, she wouldn't be surprised if this person turned out to be a penniless guttersnipe.
Biddy Collins spoke up, "Is it true she's a cousin of the Tsar?" Corinna flashed her an irritated look. Biddy was old enough to have buried three husbands. She had acquired a good deal of property and a multitude of offspring but very little sense.
"Gracious, no, Mrs. Collins," Avis smiled brightly, "Miss Dzurick is the daughter of a Russian diplomat. We met in France and I told her that she simply had to visit me should she ever come to Virginia." She fluttered a hand as she led the eager ladies towards the parlor, "You can imagine how awful I feel that this incident should be her first experience in our fair state." She slid open the parlor doors, calling, "Sasha! We have guests." Avis walked into the room and stepped to the side, watching carefully.
It was hard not to laugh. However nervous Sarah had seemed to be before this, there was no sign of it now. Even with the bruise on the side of her jaw, she was an elegantly beautiful woman. The deep burgundy dress complimented her coloring. Avis had made the bodice more form-fitting, Sarah was slender enough even without a corset. Her hair had required a little imagination, it just reached her shoulders. They'd managed to sweep it up into a small bun. Judicious use of decorative combs had completed the look. Her bearing as she turned to face the ladies made Avis regret that they hadn't tried passing Sarah off as Russian royalty. She looked like a queen granting an audience to a group of dowdy merchants' wives. The effect wasn't lost on the church ladies, even Corinna seemed awestruck. Avis hurried into the breach, before the silence could become uncomfortable, "Ladies? May I present Miss Sasha Natalya Dzurick?"
Mac inclined her head with a slight smile, "Rada s vamee poznakomit'siy." She hesitated for just a moment and then said in a softly accented voice, "How do you do?"
Avis nodded, trying to keep a decorous expression, "Sasha, may I present Corinna Simpson, the mother of my fiance? And this is Maude Sifer... " Eventually, she made her way through the group while Mac smiled and murmured, 'Zdravstvuyte.' to each lady. Introductions over, Avis smiled again, "Won't you all make yourselves comfortable? I'll be back in a moment with the tea." Mac headed straight for a centrally located wingback chair. The ladies watched to see where she was sitting and began jockeying for positions that were closest. Corinna stood torn, undecided whether to follow Avis and help with the tea (thus being in a position to find out more about her guest) or claiming the prime seat closest to Miss Dzurick as her due for being the leader.
In the end, she claimed her seat. Eudora Dickerson was angling to move up through the group. It was common knowledge that Corinna had lost some ground when her son proposed to one of the not-quite-acceptable Payne women. The uneducated, unwashed elements of town were gleefully claiming that Avis had put a spell on the handsome son of Corinna Simpson. It would be like Eudora to make a point of challenging Corinna's position in the Payne home.
Mac settled in the wingback and watched as the pecking order sorted itself out. There'd been a moment of quiet tension when Corinna Simpson had locked eyes with another lady over the seat immediately to the left of Mac's chair. The undercurrents in the room were as fierce as any actual combat. She stifled a sigh, wishing she could have escaped to the kitchen with Avis for even a little while. Her attention was dragged back into the room when Corinna began speaking to her in a loud, slow voice. Resisting the urge to put a finger in the ear closest to Corinna, Mac smiled politely, "Pardon?"
Corinna blinked and then started over again, "I said it was a most unfortunate incident and I hoped you would not judge all of Virginia by such acts."
Mac inclined her head slightly, "How can I when I've been treated with such kindness by Miss Avis, Mr. Turner and now, of course, you ladies?" It was some small bit of revenge to mention Deacon in the same sentence with the church ladies.
"Um, well... yes, how good of you to feel that way," Corinna shot a glance at the other ladies. It wasn't exactly the answer she was expecting.
Avis came back just then carrying a tray laden with a beautiful silver tea service and a platter of small cakes. Automatically, Mac started to push herself out of the chair only to be reminded rather forcefully that her abdominal muscles weren't that far along in healing. She stopped where she was, gritting her teeth and closing her eyes as she waited for the pain to pass. Her eyes flew open when she felt a hand rest briefly on her arm. Startled, she watched as Corinna rose to assist Avis. Carefully, she eased back into the chair and a minute or so later, Avis appeared in front of her with a cup of tea and a little dish of cakes. "Are you all right? You worried Corinna," she asked in a quiet undertone.
Mac nodded, taking a careful breath, "I moved without thinking, it will pass." Avis looked at her a moment longer, then patted her knee and went back to her hostess duties.
As soon as all the ladies were served, Corinna came back and sat down. She sipped her tea and then leaned unobtrusively towards Mac, "I beg your pardon, Miss Dzurick, you should be resting. We will leave as soon as politeness allows." Mac gave a minute nod and Corinna turned her attention to the ladies. In an louder tone, she addressed Avis, effectively cutting off Eudora who had been about to launch a barrage of questions at Mac, "My dear, you simply must give me the recipe for these cakes. They're so wonderfully light. Aren't they, Mrs. Dickerson?"
Surprised, Eudora stuttered a moment while she changed gears, "Wha... oh yes." She offered Avis an insincere smile, "Just delightful." Although she maintained a polite facade, her frustration was almost palpable as Corinna took control of the conversation. Less than fifteen minutes later, Corinna stood and began ushering the group out of the room. She smiled at Avis and Mac, "I hate to leave so abruptly, but you know how busy our church group has been lately. Thank you so much for meeting with us, Miss Durzick." She waved a hand as Mac started to shift, "Please don't get up. I'm sure I speak for the rest of the ladies when I say we hope to see more of you during your stay. Avis, tea was delightful, I'll see you tomorrow."
Avis saw them to the door and then came back into the parlor and flopped gracelessly onto the sofa. With an exaggerated sigh, she held her hands up in front of her face and wiggled her fingers.
"What are you doing?" Mac asked with a smile.
"Counting," Avis shuddered dramatically and raised her feet, "Everything seems intact. That Eudora Dickerson was entirely too close for comfort. Honestly, the woman reeks of ruthless ambition." She was fell silent, frowning.
Mac felt a prickling at the back of her neck, "She's dangerous, isn't she?"
"Ye-es," Avis drew the word out thoughtfully, "And not just for us, Corinna is in this, too." She looked over at Mac and raised an eyebrow, "I believe this is the first time that my future mother-in-law not only hasn't felt mortified by my behavior, but has actually treated me as an ally. You're quite the catalyst."
"Me?" Mac shook her head, "I doubt that." Carefully, she began to lever herself out of the chair.
Avis bounced up and gave her a hand, "You should rest while I get supper started."
"No," Mac headed for the tray, "The least I can do is help clean up. You've been doing all the work, I don't want to be a burden."
"You're not a burden. You're a guest and an injured guest at that." Avis deftly intercepted the tray and smiled at the exasperation on Mac's face, "If you're going to be stubborn about this, I will consider allowing you to sit at the kitchen table. You may entertain me while I go about my chores."
"Entertain you?" Mac put her fists on her hips, "I'll have you know that I'm not so decrepit that I can't wash a few dishes or help prepare a meal."
Avis rolled her eyes, "All right, all right, but any assistance you render will be done sitting down." She grinned and batted her eyelashes, "I am far too delicate to be prying you off the floor and carrying you to your bed."
Mac snorted and then chuckled, "I might collapse just to see you try." Smiling, the two women headed for the kitchen.
Shenandoah Valley Northern Virginia 0330 Local
"No!" Mac's eyes flew open and she bit back a groan as she tried to shove herself into a sitting position. She made it as far as her elbows and rolled to the side, clamping an arm across her midsection. Roger watched her from the foot of the bed and when she didn't move any further, apparently decided that an earwashing was called for. Mac watched him absently. Avis claimed he was as good as any watchdog. He always knew when someone was coming. If it was a person he knew, she could tell from his reaction who it was. Deacon made him purr; with Corinna, he would leave the room howling; for Avril, he would sit by the front door and sing a song of welcome.
Mac sighed heavily. The nightmare that had awoken her was fast receding, leaving her to deal with the faint residue of terror. She ran a hand through her hair and dropped back into the pillows. At least this had been more like a normal nightmare with swirling scenes of Avis, Eudora, Josiah and Ezra Caine. Mac stared up into the darkness. She was fairly certain that there was nothing psychic about it - listening to Avis had made her more aware of such things. This was probably nothing more than a reaction to the stress of meeting the neighborhood mafia.
Despite Avis' assurances that she carried off the charade in grand style, Mac wasn't so sure. The Dickerson woman had been bursting with questions; that Corinna had headed her off at the pass and then cut the meeting short hadn't set well at all. You didn't have to be psychic to see the resentment and anger bubbling under surface. She wondered just how ruthless Eudora Dickerson could be. Mac scrubbed at her face and then loosely clasped her hands above her head. Such competitiveness seemed silly when the reward was no higher than being the social queen of a very small town. That didn't make the stakes any less hazardous. Avis, Deacon and now, an unwitting Corinna, had left themselves open to the wrath of the community. In this day and age, that anger could easily become physical.
For everyone's sake, she ought to try to get back to the Union army... and Josiah. However, it was something she was reluctant to do. For one thing, she was finally close to the White Horse Tavern. It was little more than an hour away by buggy. The McNairs still owned it, Avis had filled her in on the details of Mary Patrick's breakdown. Avis had also told her that she had a theory about getting Mac back to her own century. She wouldn't say any more on the subject, beyond telling her that time and circumstances weren't right yet. The one time Mac had pressed her about it, Avis had clammed up, but the look on her face reminded Mac of Shakespeare's line, 'By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes.' She hadn't pursued it any further.
The other problem was that she found she didn't want to be associated with the Union army. She had filled Avis in on what was going to happen and the young woman's reaction had been much like Deacon's. The problem would be warning anyone else without giving her away. Avis was going to try it as a psychic moment with Corinna and hope that it wasn't dismissed out of hand. That she'd already had inklings of it, made a more precise prediction that much more plausible. Mac wasn't quite sure what good the warnings would do - the Shenandoah was still going to be burned. What she didn't know was how far up the mountain slopes the Yankees would go. Would it be possible to hide some of the livestock and foodstuffs up there until the Army had passed through? Deacon, when asked, had allowed that it was possible but pointed out that keeping the stock alive through the winter would be practically impossible. Once the Union army destroyed the crops, there would be no forage. The whole thing left Mac feeling horribly guilty.
Finally, there was Josiah. She was afraid to see him again, afraid of her feelings for him. This would be the third day since her kidnapping and she discovered he was occupying equal space with Harm. That left her feeling guilty as well, it was a wonder she didn't drown in it. ...And there was the worry. Mac found she wasn't as worried about Harm as she was about Josiah. After all, for all she knew, no one in her present time even realized she was missing. Josiah, on the other hand, was liable to do something foolish. She could only pray that Tommy and Billy could keep him safe and not let him do anything that would get him killed. What truly scared her was that seeing him again might make her reconsider going back at all.
For that matter, going back scared her - period. She'd been so focused on whether or not it was possible that she hadn't considered the consequences. It was another of those conundrums that was guaranteed to drive her crazy. If... when she returned to her own time, would it be at the precise moment that she'd left? She was pretty sure it had happened before she drove off the road. (Which meant that somewhere on Massanutten Mountain in 1864, there was a wrecked 2001 Ford sedan.) Did that mean she wouldn't have the accident? That she'd make it to DC that night and be on the bench the following morning? Would she even remember all of this happening? Would it have happened?
Or... would she appear after being missing for several months with her only explanation being one that no one would possibly believe? She'd probably go from the pysch ward in Bethesda straight to Leavenworth for being AWOL. The worst part of that scenario would be Harm. If the past was any indication, he'd go crazy trying to find her. She'd become one of his obsessions and he'd probably wreck his career because of it. Mac knew he would try to believe her story but she also knew he'd be hurt thinking she didn't trust him with the truth. More than likely, he'd decide it was Webb's fault (if he hadn't already). Clay would wind up with another broken nose for something he hadn't done.
Even worse, Harm might look at her past and decide that she'd run away again; that she couldn't handle a relationship with him and had just left without a word of explanation. When she showed up again, she'd be lucky if he would even speak to her and then, what would she say? He'd be insulted that she'd invent some cock and bull story of being lost in the past - that she couldn't just admit that she'd had second thoughts and left. Oh hell, what if he thought she'd chosen to disappear deliberately, knowing his fears about letting someone get close? He could easily wind up hating her.
Mac pressed her hands over her eyes, 'Stop it!' If she let herself get caught up in worst case scenarios, she might as well borrow Avis' scattergun and blow her brains out right now. She grunted when ten pounds of cat landed on her chest. Pulling her hands away, she saw Roger's furry face was only inches from her own. When he saw she was watching, he began to purr and tilted his head towards her. Mac raised an eyebrow and began scratching an ear, "I see, since I'm up I might as well make myself useful?" Roger's only response was to angle his head for a chin rub while the volume of his purr increased. Mac felt herself calming down as she concentrated on scritching. Roger was downright therapeutic. She'd let the nightmare get to her, tainting her concerns. Worrying about things over which she had no control was stupid, as was tormenting herself with catastrophic what-ifs. What would happen, would happen and she would deal with it as it came.
"Thanks, Roger," she gave him a final pat and watched as he hopped off the bed and sauntered to the open window. Jumping up on the windowsill, he looked back at her and then disappeared into the pre-dawn darkness. With a sigh, Mac burrowed back into the pillows for a few more hours' sleep.