Growing Up

The Barbics, Glens and any other Disney characters are copyrighted to Disney and we claim no ownership. However, any new characters are copyrighted to Ulisa, Silver Fox and Cheetah the Furry. This plot is a collaboration of Ulisa, Silver Fox, and Cheetah the Furry.

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Words rarely failed Ursa. And when that happened, she generally said the wrong thing. But this answer seemed right. In as gentle a voice as she'd used-- and not since he was a little thing-- Ursa replied, "I'm sorry, Buddi, but sometimes we _need_ to look at our pain, our hurt."

He didn't respond, jaw clenched and tears poking out around the corners of his eyes. He turned roughly and lay down hard, so she wouldn't see him crying, and to get her to shut up! He _hated_ physical pain, but the emotional... It was so _hard_...

Ursa didn't feel like going on. Haianas were for troubled bears. Such talk wasn't appropriate most times and she made it more awkward. She sighed and curled up beside her baby, not wanting to go out and speak with Grubbi tonight, either. She knew he slept when his breathing slowed. A curious whistling sound came out of his mouth when he breathed. Oddly, it lulled her to sleep.

Tossing another log on the fire, Grubbi sighed, gazed up at the stars. Didn't know if Ursa even knew he was a star-gazer. He would have smiled at some old memory, but Ursa lingered on his mind. Yes, he'd been on two other haianas but this was his first time leading one. This was no camping trip. It wasn't a training exercise either. Just like the cub, perhaps she wasn't ready for this haiana either... She was ignoring her side of it, which hindered his own. No one left a haiana unaffected if they stuck it out. He could see her giving it up in favor of Buddi. He had to say something about that.

Grubbi kicked dirt into the ashes sometime later and made for the tent. She was asleep. Should've figured that. Sighing again, he took the other side of Buddi and climbed in amongst their warmth. That was always a good thing about haianas. No Barbic slept with another like this. Usually too intimate for closed-up Barbic mentalities. But it was so comforting... He drifted off to sleep, and in his dreams unbidden was Lorani.

"S-s-sunni? Wha...?"

She was rubbing at his fur, clothes removed in an effort to get him warm. She didn't have the tools to make a fire and everything was so wet... She didn't know what else to do! He was too cold, and she'd warm him up any way she could.

"Quiet, Cubbi. I don't wanna hear anything about modesty or being naked. We took baths together for crying out loud!"

"N-naked??" Just realizing his current state, a sudden warmth flooded his face. But he was shivering uncontrollably and could hear the rain still outside. Hadn't the rain stopped?.... No. He remembered the... vision? dream?... and Sir Gallant but nothing after that.

Sunni was shaking too from the cold but trying to work up a better circulation in Cubbi was pumping her own heart faster. She pulled him closer to herself and held him close, warming him with her own body heat and lulling him to sleep again with her voice. "I'm sorry, Cubbi. Don't leave me again. Please! You're like my kid brother. I can't lose anything else. No one else. Please..."

His dreams were just that this time. Dreams. Funny. He knew he was just dreaming yet he was still asleep. It wasn't a nightmare, either. It was like... Some kind of memory, because she was here...

Disbodied presence that he was in his dream, he watched the deep violet Gummi twirl around a tiny pink-furred baby. Mom... Mama...? ......... Had he no memories of his father? Didn't even know what he looked like, and hadn't ever got up the courage to ask Grammi or Gruffi or Zummi. Stupid. But so was arguing with yourself in your own dream.

Oddly, the dream didn't disturb him. It was nice, watching his mother play with him. So simple and ... and nice. He wondered if Sunni were dreaming about her parents. She remembered them, kinda. She never talked about them. Ever. Did it hurt her? He hoped seeing them in a dream wouldn't be painful.

Grammi slipped in and shut the door as silently as possible. She moved to Gruffi's bedside and woke him with a hand over his mouth. Of course the fool bear tried to make noise, probably been on guard of Barbic trouble since they got here, but he calmed when he saw her. She made a shushing motion anyway.

As quietly as possible, she explained what she'd seen in Ursa's room, batting away Gruffi's comments on her bravery... or stupidity. What if she'd been caught?

"Never mind that, Gruffi. What are we gonna do? We can't fight 'em. That'd just get us out even faster, and Ursa might even agree... whenever she gets back."

He paused, looked thoughtful as he nodded in agreement. "Yeah. I kinda figured that bear was trouble. It's not just us. I think he'd vye for Ursa's position as leader if he could get away with it."

"Oh, Gruffi, that's not very Barbic, as I understand their thinking. The leader's the strongest, bravest, and smartest. The others wouldn't stand for less."

"I suppose you're right. Still, he's _our_ problem for right now. We gotta find some leverage against him. And we'd better looking for our _own_ place to go in case worse comes to worse."

"Gruffi Gummi, I'm not gonna get thrown outta this city! This is a Gummi refuse now, and never belonged to these Barbics anyhow. If Sir Thornberry were here, he'd... he'd..."

"Be no use at all, of course. But I see you're point. Without him around, as the caretaker of Ursalia, nobody's left in charge. We should go down to the library and see if Zummi found any useful books yet. Ryo seems to be taking his time, not chancing opposition. We should take a little time to do some research of our own. Maybe there's something the Barbics don't even

know about Ursalia, or themselves."

"You mean to look up Ursalia's past?"

"And the Barbic past. There must be _some_ rule or custom against throwing out those you supposedly took under your wing hospitably. Maybe the fact that we're still in need. It doesn't matter if our ways are different. They said yes. We should use that against them."

Grubbi poked at Ursa early that next morning. She gave a nod and followed him out. They started a fire in silence, but he had something to say. Grubbi cleared his throat.

"Ursa."

"What?"

"You've already given up."

Shocked and angered, she whirled to her only surviving mentor. "What?"

"Look at you, automatically defensive. Hear me out, okay?"

Her jaw clenched, and she recalled Buddi did the same thing. She relaxed her face with effort.

"He isn't doing so good. We can both see that."

Buddi, awakened by the motion of the others rising, had wanted to sleepily go back to sleep. Two things had kept him awake: knowing they'd be prodding him soon, and Ursa's outraged voice. They were talking about him... He held his breath, listening.

"And you're all ready to throw in the towel for him."

"I am not!"

"Yes you are. Are you afraid to do this? Or is it only that you don't think he can? Ursa, _you_ wanted him to do this. I know you want him to succeed but you're not even givin' the kid a chance. It's time to start your own haiana."

"I-"

"Don't argue. You'll lead today. I don't want you so much as looking at the cub to check on him. You're not helping either of you. I'll take the rear."

Fuming angry over Grubbi's charge of leadership, she had no words, again! How dare he state things so plainly!... No matter how true......

He'd promised himself he'd never go on haiana again. He'd promised himself this wasn't a haiana. He was just goin' to keep an eye on them. Not gonna interfere. Not gonna participate, either.

Gritty sighed, controlling his anger with effort. Rain wouldn't stop. Lost nearly all sign of Ursa, Grubbi, and Buddi. Didn't need to track 'em, though. He knew where they were headed. Scanning the muddy horizon for any hint of a clear day, he shook down his shelter and started out again. Another gray day...

It was eerily quiet in this place. He walked quickly, wanting to be away from the wooded area that looked frozen in time; neither alive nor dead. Didn't know any name of it but he knew better than to sleep here. Strange dreams. It's said the ancestors walk here. There was some type of great war, even before Ursalia was built, and the humans allied with jealous forest folk to toss out all Gummi presence. Sorta like what happened at Barbic Woods... Well, they succeeded. Lotsa gummies died. The trees here sprang up from soil soaked with their blood and ashes from the destruction. Spooky. He'd never seen anything himself, and he didn't want to, but there were stories from some who wandered and stayed too long here...

He paused, saw enough indication in this little thicket to know someone had been by recently. All tracks washed away in the stream of muddy water moving down a shallow slope, he slunk forward, stalking.

When he found the two cubs tucked into the hollow of a tree, he wasn't quite sure what to do at first. But then he got real sure. Gritty came forward and shook the girl, Sunni, awake.

She gasped and he realized he must look like some troll or some'm with his hood pulled down. Her gasp turned to a great hug as he pulled it back and regarded her with his one eye.

"Oh, Gritty, I'm so glad to see you!"

He looked at the naked, sleeping Cubbi and removed his cloak, scooping the small bear up and wrapping him inside the near waterproof garment. "What in Gum are you two _doing_ out here?"

"I-yi-yi w-w-wanted-d t-t-t-t-"

"Okay, okay." He glanced around, then pointed out a good spot. "Go over there and collect anything that might be dry enough for a fire."

"But, Gritty-"

"I said go!"

She did so without another word, still trying to figure out how she'd accomplish such a task. At least the trees were thicker here and kept a lot of the rain out.

Gritty wanted her to go so he could check the cub good. He was cold, probably had a mild case of hypothermia. It bothered him that Cubbi hadn't even stirred at his being handled. Well, his pulse could be better and his eyes were glossy when Gritty peeled back the lids. Not a good sign.

"Sunni?" he called. "How ya makin' out?"

The reply was distant, muffled by space and rain. "Okay. I found some!"

He started over and saw she'd collected more than he'd thought even she'd find. A few good-sized logs had been sheltered from the wet by others, almost like a pile of wood had been left for them. Weird. He didn't like the area much because of its past but he wasn't afraid to set up here. Not when Cubbi was in such a poor state. A fire was soon going cheerily. He sat Cubbi in his lap facing the dancing flames. Sunni clung to his side, shivering still. He knew they'd be hungry in this oddly barren place and dug in his rations for a slab of jerky to give the girl.

"Th-th-thank-ks-s-s, G-g-r-r-rit-t-ti-ti."

He sighed and pulled her closer. "Gonna tell me now what you're doin' out here?"

"Budd-d-di."

"He told you what he was doin'?" That cub... Didn't he ever learn? Glens'd interfere for sure if they knew about haianas. And then there'd be trouble.

"Uh-huh."

His head swung side to side. "I hope he gets himself under control soon or there'll be shaza to pay."

Sunni had no idea what Gritty was talking about but said nothing. She was just glad an adult was here. Yes, she was thirteen, but compared to any Barbic, even Buddi, she didn't know squat about surviving on her own out here. "It was... it was s-s-tupid of m-me to come. I'm s-sor-r-ry."

Gritty gave no reply, but he could be proud of her for admitting it. No Barbic would admit to being wrong so readily, even if they were. Dead wrong...

"Gritty?" a new voice spoke up weakly.

The smokey-furred Barbic glanced down at Cubbi. "Hey, Pard'ner. You hungry? Thirsty?"

He nodded. Gritty pulled over his canteen and trickled some water down Cubbi's throat. He took another slab of jerky out and ripped off a chunk with his teeth. Didn't give it to Cubbi. He chewed it up himself, then stuck it in the cub's mouth.

"Gritty?" Cubbi was sleepy for some reason after the brief food and drink but he had another question.

"What? You still cold?"

"No. What a haiana?"

Gritty frowned, stared down at the cub. His expression turned angry. He passed a glaring eye Sunni's way. "Is that what you meant in your 'I'm sorry'? Haiana aren't for Glen, girl! Why can't you _see_ the divide between our two cultures?"

"Why can't _you_ see we're not that different!" She was partly to blame. All she'd said to Cubbi when he'd caught her going was that she was going on a haiana. He said he was going to and it was all she could do to keep him quiet as he got ready, or he'd spill the beans. She had a good idea what it was but Cubbi might have thought it something like a camping trip. It was

wrong of her not to tell him, because she thought he wouldn't understand. She told Gritty this, head hung in shame. Cubbi listened to it all.

"Yer right. This ain't no campin' trip. You were a fool to think you'd go and meet Buddi on some whim out here in the woods."

"But it _isn't_ a whim, Gritty. Don't you think that, with all we've been through, we might need this, too? I _know_ what a haiana is, in my heart. I can see why Buddi might need one, and maybe even Ursa, but don't you dare think I came all the way out here because I couldn't wait to see Buddi. Please! We're _so_ much like you it hurts to see you push us away. We try everything we can to even us out, except throw out our way of life. Just like you when Barbic Woods was destroyed, our ways are all we have left. You can't ask us to throw them out because you've grown harder into yours after going through the same thing!" Tears burned in her eyes and she was surprised at the conviction in her voice. Gritty also looked surprised.

Indeed, he hadn't seen fire like that in a while. Not even close to Ursa's par but almost like Buddi when he was on a cause. His gaze returned to the fire and all went silent as he contemplated things. Perhaps there was much to learn still...

Sunni was nearly dozing off when Gritty spoke again.

"I'll... I'll lead you."

"What?"

"You can't go on a haiana alone, girl. You need someone who's... more experienced in that sort of thing." He wouldn't admit, even to her, that he'd had need of one before. "If you're serious-- and I mean REALLY serious-- I'll lead you. I warn you it's tough. One of the toughest things you'll ever do. If you decide, there's no quitting. Those who quit rarely get the chance again. You got me?"

She nodded. Solemn in her resolve, she'd already made her decision. Whether looking for forgiveness, answers, or something else, she probably did need a haiana, or whatever Glens did for such a thing. He could not as a Barbic go back on his offer. It just wasn't done. Maybe he'd made it without a ton of thought, but it might be a good idea. Sunni had several good points.

"Tough sounds good." Cubbi said sleepily.

"Great Gum, not you, too." Gritty sighed.

"I can take care of myself."

"Right? And why did I hafta come save you two?" Though Sunni was doing all right. She'd got him outta wet clothes and was tryin' ta get him warm. But without fire.

Cubbi sat up. "If a haiana is supposed to help you reflect on stuff, then I want it too. I'm sick and tired of being ignored because you think I'm just a kid! Look at all the stuff I've done so far! Sure, I make mistakes, but I learn, too. Lemme _do_ this, Gritty! I won't give up. I'll never give up!"

Well, he had to admire the cub's fire, too. He was positive, even with the warnings. Gritty let out a gusty sigh and pitched another log on the fire. "Okay. We'll start soon, but first you've got a few rules to learn."

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