I sit with her every day at every meal. She treats me like she would a brother. I accept that, because I know it's the best I can get. It's all I'm able to get. It's all I will allow.
I find her beautiful. Not the beautiful one would imagine of a model, but beautiful because I know her inside. No one with her personality could really be ugly, no matter what the world sees on the outside. I treasure her smile and I've memorized every facial expression. I love her. That's why no one must ever know.
If anyone found out, everyone would know. And if everyone knew, her life would be in serious jeopardy. So, I love her in secret. I allow the brotherly love she bestows upon me and praise God that I even get that from her. I know that someday she will find someone to love, and that day, despite the jealousy I will have for that man, I will be happy that she has found happiness. . .the happiness I can not give her because of my past. The happiness I wish for her every day. I wish it could be me to give her that happiness, but it's not possible. So, I will live my life alone with only the semblance of company because if I get too attached to anyone, I will lose it all. If I lose those I love, my sanity will soon follow.
Maybe one day he will be dead and I will be able to love her openly, but I have no assurance that that day will come. And if it does, there is no way for me to know that she would have me. So for now, I will be content with what I have.
Since I cannot tell the world, I proclaim it to myself, day in and day out. I shout in my head and hear the world shout with me as I repeat to myself what I cannot say to her: Hermione Granger, I, Harry Potter, am desperately in love with you!
