Chapter 6 – The Pinkish Menace
When we last left our illustrious quartet, it was in a good deal of peril. A veritable butt-load of peril, if you will. A putrid and pontificating pile of peril, perpetually percolating peacefully. But enough of this silliness.
"Oh, gods," Zidane groaned, gazing mournfully at the four Grand Dragons, who had been not at all damaged by any of the battle up to this point. They might have suffered some minor toenail wear, perhaps a bit of pain there, from kicking Vivi around, but that was good for, like, two hit-points at the very most.
"Psst!" Zidane pssted in Dagger's direction. "What's a hit point?"
"What?" Dagger turned to face him, hands on her hips, looking perplexed. "What are you talking about, Zidane? Are you hearing voices again?"
"Uh...no..." Zidane glanced about, laughing nervously before swallowing around a throat suddenly gone uncomfortably dry.
"That's...good..." Dagger replied, glancing about awkwardly.
"Uh, guys! L'il help?" Vivi implored as he zoomed past.
"Yeah!" Avatar agreed, strolling up to the group. "Help Hatman, you heartless bastards!"
"His name is Vivi!" Avatara exclaimed, offended and annoyed for some reason, smacking Avatar upside the head.
"Well, I'm sorry!" Avatar returned sarcastically. "I might know who he was if a certain CAT-GIRL some of us know knew how to SHARE! But unfortunately for me and my name-recognition, she doesn't, and so I haven't PLAYED THE GAME!!"
'Great!" Zidane exclaimed, pouting plaintively. "Now, not only are we being kicked repeatedly in the ass by these damn Grand Dragons, but Vivi's in dire peril, I can't get that damn word out of my mind for some reason, AND these two idiots show up again! Could life SUCK any more than this?"
"Give me a diamond, meow!" a voice piped up from twenty or so yards away.
And with this high-pitched request, Zidane was pushed over the edge that he had been hovering near ever since leaving the airship.
"GRAGH!!!" the young man howled. "I'M MAD, NOW!!!"
As he announced his tumultuous inner emotional state loudly and proudly, a menacing pinkish glow, if such a thing is possible, sprung up around the young man, enveloping his hair, his face, his pants, his tail, his weapon, and even his shoe (his other one was lying at the bottom of the cliff after he knocked over the card table, if you will recall. Continuity! Yaay! Whoo!) in its radiant cottoncandyesqueness. Pink cotton candy, naturally.
"He's trancing!" Avatara announced unnecessarily, bouncing up and down giddily. "Eeeeeeee!"
"Uh...he's pink," Avatar noted, much less giddily, and staying firmly on the ground the entire time.
'DIE, EVERYBODY!!!!!!" Zidane howled, leaping into attack stance and preparing to let fly with the ninth attempt at a solution. "SOLUTION 9!!!"
The next moment, a Gimme Cat groaned in unutterable pain as it departed for another dimension (tm), and the party suddenly found itself 5000 gil richer.
"Sweet!" Avatar chirped, bouncing forward to claim the small prize. "Money!"
Meanwhile, Zidane began to prepare for the grandest and by far most lethal of Grand Lethals ever known to man or genome...or summoner, hat, Qu, rat, and...uh...arm-guy. Then, abruptly, he changed his mind, dropped the mighty Sargatanas in the dust at his feet, and leapt forward. From here, he delivered an equally mighty power-flick to each of the large, increasingly annoyed beasts...who became even more annoyed as they each found themselves sailing majestically through the air in four different directions. Vivi pulled himself to his feet, adjusted his hat, and dusted off his cloak.
"Th-thanks," he managed to choke out before collapsing to the ground in the second-cutest heap imaginable. The only sound that broke the stunned silence was Zidane's harsh breathing. His gaze darted about, eyes bloodshot, every muscle in his body tense and rigid. Then he glanced down at his hands.
"Hey, what gives? I'm pink!" he noted, then laughed self-consciously. "Well, that's a little embarrassing. I must be related to Kuja," he admitted, hand dangling limply from his wrist. Dagger stared, horrified. NOW how would she get some?!
The Grand Dragon sighed, rolling his mighty Dragon-eyes as he sailed, somewhat less majestically, through the air. Really, this sailing was becoming nothing short of boring. Fortunately, though, the tedium was about to end as the dragon glanced down and noticed the biggest yellow pillow he'd ever seen rapidly growing closer as he re-entered Gaia's atmosphere, losing height at a dizzying rate. As he fell, he noticed idly that this yellow pillow had feathers, as well as a head, a beak, and eyes. He had little time to ponder the why of this, as he landed on the yellow shape...and abruptly bounced off again, sailing majestically once more from Gaia's atmosphere.
"Ooh," Fat Chocobo, renowned God of All Chocobos, groaned, sitting up as best he could upon his mighty Choco-butt. "Gotta lay off the Gyshal Greens."
He shook his head, giving his stomach a hearty thump to calm its grumblings.
"I wonder what that was, anyway," he mused, watching the speck of green disappear into the sky far above Chocobo Paradise.
"Dum-dee-dem-dee-doo...now, where was I going again?" Fratley mused, wandering along, trying to whistle the melody to Chumbawumba's long-time- ago hit, 'Amnesia,' but failing utterly to recall either melody or words. "Do you...uh, something...from something memory...something? I...don't remember." At this point, he gazed absently up at the sky, scratching his head as he tried to gain his bearings.
"Erm...I wonder if that's a bad thing..." he murmured, watching the large, green, scaly shape approach from the heavens. "I get the distinct feeling that I should...do something about this, but I cannot recall for the life of me what it is!"
'For the life of him' turned out to be exactly what it was, as another previously-flicked Grand Dragon chose just that spot to touch down none too gently. The shock of this jarred poor Fratley's brain somewhat.
"I remember everything now!" he exclaimed joyfully, muffled by the bulk of 5000 pounds of Grand Dragon. "...Including, that I really should have moved. Oh, well. Twenty-twenty hindsight, and all that. I wonder how this will affect the outcome of the game..."
The Grand Dragon's last train of thought centred mainly around how impressed she was at all that the young Burmecian had managed to say before being crushed to a more than slightly apparent death.
"Okay, Bahamut, we've been discussing it, and we've decided that it is high time for an Eidolon Intervention. Thus, you have now been officially cut off. No alcohol for the next three years."
Bahamut stared in horror, tears filling his eyes, at Madeen's revelation.
"Couldn't you just cut off my head instead?" he whined, the prospect of dealing with these smug bastards sober for the next three years chilling him to the bone. Or the Eidolon equivalent thereof.
"I'm sorry, Bahamut," Shiva said, patting him on the back, "but we really feel that this is for the best. You've got to get yourself back up on your feet again, get your head back in the game!"
"Life's not a game, though!" Bahamut protested.
"Yes, it is," Fenrir called from a corner, holding up one mighty finger. "You have no idea how much it is."
"Uh...okay," Bahamut shrugged with a mournful sigh. Then his brow furrowed. "I guess the alcohol must not have worn off yet, 'cause I could swear that I see pink elephants in tu-tus, and maje...majes...uh, flying green dragons heading this way!"
Ifrit shook his head in despair.
"Green Dragons?" he scoffed. "Are you mad?"
"No," Bahamut replied pettishly, "I'm slightly irritated."
He then put his hand to his mouth and whispered, completely inaudibly to everyone else, "Look out, Odin."
The next moment, Odin, his recliner, and his cardboard sign, formerly bearing the words, 'Odin's Cool Hat Land,' were smothered by a whole freaking whack-load of Grand Dragon.
"Why does everything bad happen to Odin?!" came the mournful wail from beneath the dragon. A look of fury crossed Bahamut's face as something clicked in his alcohol-addled mind.
"Oh, I get it," he growled. "Bahamut's too 'drunk' to be King, so you think you can just fly in some dragon from Nowheresville to replace me! Well, I DON'T THINK SO!!!"
Steiner glanced up from the chessboard as the sky above was illuminated with a bright flash of light, and a tremendous explosion rang out all around.
"What was that?!" he demanded, panicked. Quina shrugged, pausing to take advantage of the Knight of Pluto's lack of attention and devour Steiner's queenside rook. 'Advantage is Quina's,' he gloated silently.
"Another false alarm, Steiner?" Amarant called sarcastically from his corner, brushing the wooden shavings from the block of wood that he was painstakingly carving into the shape of something completely unrecognizable. 'I'm not very good at this,' he admitted sadly. Steiner sighed, exasperated
"I do not know about you, but where I come from, stuff does not just blow up without a reason! Isn't that right, girls?"
He turned to the corner opposite the one that Amarant had claimed for his creative workshop. Erin glared back.
"Shut up, you...you...you MAN!"
"There, there, Erin," Freya sighed. "They aren't all bad. Most, to be sure, but...uh...here. Just...have some more ice cream."
She dropped a scoop of chocolate ice cream into a bowl, and was rather taken aback when Erin snatched the four-litre bucket instead.
"Oh, WHY, Seifer? Why? It started out so beautifully. Our eyes met. Sparks flew. He put down his gun-blade, and apologized for the sparks. It was love at first sight! What went wrong?!" Her words became unintelligible amid a stormy fit of weeping, muffled by ice cream.
"Maybe Seifer just wasn't the right man. I believe everyone has that one special person that they're meant to be with. And somewhere out there, I know Fratley is waiting for me. And hopefully, he'll remember me this time."
Erin sniffled, frowning at her suspiciously.
"You're not having a wistful memory while I'm pouring out my heart to you, are you? That would be really, really annoying!"
"Of...course not." Freya hastened to assure her, looking away.
"You two are no help," Steiner complained. "I'm going below to get my weapon, just in case there should be trouble."
With that, he departed, leaving a rather disgruntled Qu alone at the chess board.
"Hm..." Quina frowned. "No satisfaction in winning. Empty victory. Just like stomach. Reminds me, I hungry! Where I get food?"
He glanced up, placing a hand to his chin as he pondered this. His eyes lit up light the bright yellow yolks of two eggs prepared sunny-side up at the sight of a large shadow looming above him.
"Look good!" he commented joyfully. "Quina eat!"
He leapt from his chair and, head upturned, his mouth gaped open widely.
"If this is what comes of leaving the ship, remind me never, ever to do it again!" Zidane requested ruefully, stalking toward the ship. Dagger rolled her eyes.
"Well, if YOU weren't so scared of Erin and her 'wrath,' this wouldn't have happened at all!"
"Hey, c'mon, Dagger. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, right?" the young man noted, the dramatic side of his personality making a flashy entrance. 'Drama queen,' Dagger thought, smiling fondly at him.
"You better believe it, buddy," Eiko muttered under her breath. Vivi, noting this exchange, sighed sadly. Would the adorable little purple-haired summoner ever be his? Would she ever notice him in a way other than a naïve younger brother (although, oddly enough, one 3 years older than her), to be sheltered and protected? Had he survived nine lifetimes, simply to fail once more at ever finding true love?
Suddenly, the small black mage's morose pondering was interrupted by a dismayed shout from Zidane.
"Hey!" the young thief exclaimed. "Is that a Grand Dragon on the ship?!"
"Die, foul fiend!" Steiner howled, striking at the beast with his sword. The dragon tilted her big dragon-head to the side and fixed him with a puzzled look.
"Quina eat!" a muffled shriek of utter rage drifted up from beneath the dragon. "Quina eat, Quina eat, Quina eat!"
"Poor Quina," Freya noted sadly. "We've got to get this big-ass thing to move somehow!"
"Why?" Amarant demanded.
"Well...because...being stuck under an ass that large cannot possibly be pleasant, can it?"
"Thank-you very, very much for that mental image. Especially since Quina is trying to eat that particular ass at this moment."
"Okay," Freya agreed, blinking. "Let's leave him under there."
"Sounds good."
"QUINA EAT!!!" the Qu howled. Then he sighed. 'I no can eat till it weaker.'
"I'll save you, Quina!" Steiner assured his friend, charging forward.
"Before you do that," Freya began, stopping him with an arm, "you might want to consider where he is right now."
"The ass-end of a dragon," Amarant clarified. Steiner's complexion took on a rather greenish hue.
"...Oh. I'm sure Quina can handle it. Would either of you like to go play chess? I'll be white." With that he clanked over to the chessboard, then frowned. "Where's my rook?"
"I remind you," Quina's voice drifted toward the group, "Quina carrying all the money!"
"The money?!" Amarant bolted to his feet, aghast. "I'll save you, coin- purse – uh, Quina!"
The next moment, the dragon flew straight up into the air, completely against her will, the claw-marks of over ten thousand brutal slashes marring her pristine green scales. 'What a jerk!' she decided, annoyed and bleeding profusely.
"QUINA EAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!!!!"
The Qu, now at the end of his tether, leapt into the air after the dragon, much like the Gigan Toad he'd eaten only last week. The next moment, he fell back to the floor of the ship, holding his stomach and groaning painfully.
"Quina ate," he informed the rest of the group, withdrawing a small bottle from the folds of his Glutton's Robe. He carefully selected two tablets from the bottle marked with a colourful label proudly displaying the words, 'Cid's Super-Special Miracle Indigestion-Be-Gone,' and then popped the bottle into his mouth, tossing the tablets over his shoulder. After all, he didn't want to overdose. Then he collapsed to the ground with a sigh. For once, Quina was full.
When we last left our illustrious quartet, it was in a good deal of peril. A veritable butt-load of peril, if you will. A putrid and pontificating pile of peril, perpetually percolating peacefully. But enough of this silliness.
"Oh, gods," Zidane groaned, gazing mournfully at the four Grand Dragons, who had been not at all damaged by any of the battle up to this point. They might have suffered some minor toenail wear, perhaps a bit of pain there, from kicking Vivi around, but that was good for, like, two hit-points at the very most.
"Psst!" Zidane pssted in Dagger's direction. "What's a hit point?"
"What?" Dagger turned to face him, hands on her hips, looking perplexed. "What are you talking about, Zidane? Are you hearing voices again?"
"Uh...no..." Zidane glanced about, laughing nervously before swallowing around a throat suddenly gone uncomfortably dry.
"That's...good..." Dagger replied, glancing about awkwardly.
"Uh, guys! L'il help?" Vivi implored as he zoomed past.
"Yeah!" Avatar agreed, strolling up to the group. "Help Hatman, you heartless bastards!"
"His name is Vivi!" Avatara exclaimed, offended and annoyed for some reason, smacking Avatar upside the head.
"Well, I'm sorry!" Avatar returned sarcastically. "I might know who he was if a certain CAT-GIRL some of us know knew how to SHARE! But unfortunately for me and my name-recognition, she doesn't, and so I haven't PLAYED THE GAME!!"
'Great!" Zidane exclaimed, pouting plaintively. "Now, not only are we being kicked repeatedly in the ass by these damn Grand Dragons, but Vivi's in dire peril, I can't get that damn word out of my mind for some reason, AND these two idiots show up again! Could life SUCK any more than this?"
"Give me a diamond, meow!" a voice piped up from twenty or so yards away.
And with this high-pitched request, Zidane was pushed over the edge that he had been hovering near ever since leaving the airship.
"GRAGH!!!" the young man howled. "I'M MAD, NOW!!!"
As he announced his tumultuous inner emotional state loudly and proudly, a menacing pinkish glow, if such a thing is possible, sprung up around the young man, enveloping his hair, his face, his pants, his tail, his weapon, and even his shoe (his other one was lying at the bottom of the cliff after he knocked over the card table, if you will recall. Continuity! Yaay! Whoo!) in its radiant cottoncandyesqueness. Pink cotton candy, naturally.
"He's trancing!" Avatara announced unnecessarily, bouncing up and down giddily. "Eeeeeeee!"
"Uh...he's pink," Avatar noted, much less giddily, and staying firmly on the ground the entire time.
'DIE, EVERYBODY!!!!!!" Zidane howled, leaping into attack stance and preparing to let fly with the ninth attempt at a solution. "SOLUTION 9!!!"
The next moment, a Gimme Cat groaned in unutterable pain as it departed for another dimension (tm), and the party suddenly found itself 5000 gil richer.
"Sweet!" Avatar chirped, bouncing forward to claim the small prize. "Money!"
Meanwhile, Zidane began to prepare for the grandest and by far most lethal of Grand Lethals ever known to man or genome...or summoner, hat, Qu, rat, and...uh...arm-guy. Then, abruptly, he changed his mind, dropped the mighty Sargatanas in the dust at his feet, and leapt forward. From here, he delivered an equally mighty power-flick to each of the large, increasingly annoyed beasts...who became even more annoyed as they each found themselves sailing majestically through the air in four different directions. Vivi pulled himself to his feet, adjusted his hat, and dusted off his cloak.
"Th-thanks," he managed to choke out before collapsing to the ground in the second-cutest heap imaginable. The only sound that broke the stunned silence was Zidane's harsh breathing. His gaze darted about, eyes bloodshot, every muscle in his body tense and rigid. Then he glanced down at his hands.
"Hey, what gives? I'm pink!" he noted, then laughed self-consciously. "Well, that's a little embarrassing. I must be related to Kuja," he admitted, hand dangling limply from his wrist. Dagger stared, horrified. NOW how would she get some?!
The Grand Dragon sighed, rolling his mighty Dragon-eyes as he sailed, somewhat less majestically, through the air. Really, this sailing was becoming nothing short of boring. Fortunately, though, the tedium was about to end as the dragon glanced down and noticed the biggest yellow pillow he'd ever seen rapidly growing closer as he re-entered Gaia's atmosphere, losing height at a dizzying rate. As he fell, he noticed idly that this yellow pillow had feathers, as well as a head, a beak, and eyes. He had little time to ponder the why of this, as he landed on the yellow shape...and abruptly bounced off again, sailing majestically once more from Gaia's atmosphere.
"Ooh," Fat Chocobo, renowned God of All Chocobos, groaned, sitting up as best he could upon his mighty Choco-butt. "Gotta lay off the Gyshal Greens."
He shook his head, giving his stomach a hearty thump to calm its grumblings.
"I wonder what that was, anyway," he mused, watching the speck of green disappear into the sky far above Chocobo Paradise.
"Dum-dee-dem-dee-doo...now, where was I going again?" Fratley mused, wandering along, trying to whistle the melody to Chumbawumba's long-time- ago hit, 'Amnesia,' but failing utterly to recall either melody or words. "Do you...uh, something...from something memory...something? I...don't remember." At this point, he gazed absently up at the sky, scratching his head as he tried to gain his bearings.
"Erm...I wonder if that's a bad thing..." he murmured, watching the large, green, scaly shape approach from the heavens. "I get the distinct feeling that I should...do something about this, but I cannot recall for the life of me what it is!"
'For the life of him' turned out to be exactly what it was, as another previously-flicked Grand Dragon chose just that spot to touch down none too gently. The shock of this jarred poor Fratley's brain somewhat.
"I remember everything now!" he exclaimed joyfully, muffled by the bulk of 5000 pounds of Grand Dragon. "...Including, that I really should have moved. Oh, well. Twenty-twenty hindsight, and all that. I wonder how this will affect the outcome of the game..."
The Grand Dragon's last train of thought centred mainly around how impressed she was at all that the young Burmecian had managed to say before being crushed to a more than slightly apparent death.
"Okay, Bahamut, we've been discussing it, and we've decided that it is high time for an Eidolon Intervention. Thus, you have now been officially cut off. No alcohol for the next three years."
Bahamut stared in horror, tears filling his eyes, at Madeen's revelation.
"Couldn't you just cut off my head instead?" he whined, the prospect of dealing with these smug bastards sober for the next three years chilling him to the bone. Or the Eidolon equivalent thereof.
"I'm sorry, Bahamut," Shiva said, patting him on the back, "but we really feel that this is for the best. You've got to get yourself back up on your feet again, get your head back in the game!"
"Life's not a game, though!" Bahamut protested.
"Yes, it is," Fenrir called from a corner, holding up one mighty finger. "You have no idea how much it is."
"Uh...okay," Bahamut shrugged with a mournful sigh. Then his brow furrowed. "I guess the alcohol must not have worn off yet, 'cause I could swear that I see pink elephants in tu-tus, and maje...majes...uh, flying green dragons heading this way!"
Ifrit shook his head in despair.
"Green Dragons?" he scoffed. "Are you mad?"
"No," Bahamut replied pettishly, "I'm slightly irritated."
He then put his hand to his mouth and whispered, completely inaudibly to everyone else, "Look out, Odin."
The next moment, Odin, his recliner, and his cardboard sign, formerly bearing the words, 'Odin's Cool Hat Land,' were smothered by a whole freaking whack-load of Grand Dragon.
"Why does everything bad happen to Odin?!" came the mournful wail from beneath the dragon. A look of fury crossed Bahamut's face as something clicked in his alcohol-addled mind.
"Oh, I get it," he growled. "Bahamut's too 'drunk' to be King, so you think you can just fly in some dragon from Nowheresville to replace me! Well, I DON'T THINK SO!!!"
Steiner glanced up from the chessboard as the sky above was illuminated with a bright flash of light, and a tremendous explosion rang out all around.
"What was that?!" he demanded, panicked. Quina shrugged, pausing to take advantage of the Knight of Pluto's lack of attention and devour Steiner's queenside rook. 'Advantage is Quina's,' he gloated silently.
"Another false alarm, Steiner?" Amarant called sarcastically from his corner, brushing the wooden shavings from the block of wood that he was painstakingly carving into the shape of something completely unrecognizable. 'I'm not very good at this,' he admitted sadly. Steiner sighed, exasperated
"I do not know about you, but where I come from, stuff does not just blow up without a reason! Isn't that right, girls?"
He turned to the corner opposite the one that Amarant had claimed for his creative workshop. Erin glared back.
"Shut up, you...you...you MAN!"
"There, there, Erin," Freya sighed. "They aren't all bad. Most, to be sure, but...uh...here. Just...have some more ice cream."
She dropped a scoop of chocolate ice cream into a bowl, and was rather taken aback when Erin snatched the four-litre bucket instead.
"Oh, WHY, Seifer? Why? It started out so beautifully. Our eyes met. Sparks flew. He put down his gun-blade, and apologized for the sparks. It was love at first sight! What went wrong?!" Her words became unintelligible amid a stormy fit of weeping, muffled by ice cream.
"Maybe Seifer just wasn't the right man. I believe everyone has that one special person that they're meant to be with. And somewhere out there, I know Fratley is waiting for me. And hopefully, he'll remember me this time."
Erin sniffled, frowning at her suspiciously.
"You're not having a wistful memory while I'm pouring out my heart to you, are you? That would be really, really annoying!"
"Of...course not." Freya hastened to assure her, looking away.
"You two are no help," Steiner complained. "I'm going below to get my weapon, just in case there should be trouble."
With that, he departed, leaving a rather disgruntled Qu alone at the chess board.
"Hm..." Quina frowned. "No satisfaction in winning. Empty victory. Just like stomach. Reminds me, I hungry! Where I get food?"
He glanced up, placing a hand to his chin as he pondered this. His eyes lit up light the bright yellow yolks of two eggs prepared sunny-side up at the sight of a large shadow looming above him.
"Look good!" he commented joyfully. "Quina eat!"
He leapt from his chair and, head upturned, his mouth gaped open widely.
"If this is what comes of leaving the ship, remind me never, ever to do it again!" Zidane requested ruefully, stalking toward the ship. Dagger rolled her eyes.
"Well, if YOU weren't so scared of Erin and her 'wrath,' this wouldn't have happened at all!"
"Hey, c'mon, Dagger. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, right?" the young man noted, the dramatic side of his personality making a flashy entrance. 'Drama queen,' Dagger thought, smiling fondly at him.
"You better believe it, buddy," Eiko muttered under her breath. Vivi, noting this exchange, sighed sadly. Would the adorable little purple-haired summoner ever be his? Would she ever notice him in a way other than a naïve younger brother (although, oddly enough, one 3 years older than her), to be sheltered and protected? Had he survived nine lifetimes, simply to fail once more at ever finding true love?
Suddenly, the small black mage's morose pondering was interrupted by a dismayed shout from Zidane.
"Hey!" the young thief exclaimed. "Is that a Grand Dragon on the ship?!"
"Die, foul fiend!" Steiner howled, striking at the beast with his sword. The dragon tilted her big dragon-head to the side and fixed him with a puzzled look.
"Quina eat!" a muffled shriek of utter rage drifted up from beneath the dragon. "Quina eat, Quina eat, Quina eat!"
"Poor Quina," Freya noted sadly. "We've got to get this big-ass thing to move somehow!"
"Why?" Amarant demanded.
"Well...because...being stuck under an ass that large cannot possibly be pleasant, can it?"
"Thank-you very, very much for that mental image. Especially since Quina is trying to eat that particular ass at this moment."
"Okay," Freya agreed, blinking. "Let's leave him under there."
"Sounds good."
"QUINA EAT!!!" the Qu howled. Then he sighed. 'I no can eat till it weaker.'
"I'll save you, Quina!" Steiner assured his friend, charging forward.
"Before you do that," Freya began, stopping him with an arm, "you might want to consider where he is right now."
"The ass-end of a dragon," Amarant clarified. Steiner's complexion took on a rather greenish hue.
"...Oh. I'm sure Quina can handle it. Would either of you like to go play chess? I'll be white." With that he clanked over to the chessboard, then frowned. "Where's my rook?"
"I remind you," Quina's voice drifted toward the group, "Quina carrying all the money!"
"The money?!" Amarant bolted to his feet, aghast. "I'll save you, coin- purse – uh, Quina!"
The next moment, the dragon flew straight up into the air, completely against her will, the claw-marks of over ten thousand brutal slashes marring her pristine green scales. 'What a jerk!' she decided, annoyed and bleeding profusely.
"QUINA EAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!!!!"
The Qu, now at the end of his tether, leapt into the air after the dragon, much like the Gigan Toad he'd eaten only last week. The next moment, he fell back to the floor of the ship, holding his stomach and groaning painfully.
"Quina ate," he informed the rest of the group, withdrawing a small bottle from the folds of his Glutton's Robe. He carefully selected two tablets from the bottle marked with a colourful label proudly displaying the words, 'Cid's Super-Special Miracle Indigestion-Be-Gone,' and then popped the bottle into his mouth, tossing the tablets over his shoulder. After all, he didn't want to overdose. Then he collapsed to the ground with a sigh. For once, Quina was full.