Shadow Girl

Book Two: Soul Searching

[Chapter Eight: Book of Shadows]

      April 19

                        I don't believe this. It's like I'm the son of Hitler or something. No one will talk to me. Everyone's whispering about me. And the one person who might be able to help me, who should be by my side right now, won't even look at me if she can avoid it. I'm sitting here alone at lunch. I've never sat alone at lunch before. I've always sat with someone. I'm usually a likeable person, but now no one wants anything to do with me. Not that I really want to talk to anyone right now, except maybe for Moira.

                        But Moira won't speak to me. She acts like it hurts just to look at me. I don't get it. If I'm really a blood witch (which I still doubt, even after what happened), then why would she be so upset? I'd be just like her. Why is she being so weird? I don't understand anything anymore.

                                                                                                            -Jordan

            I sat on the floor of the girls' bathroom, crying with my head buried in my knees. I hated this; it felt like the waterworks would never end. But then I heard a toilet flush, and I quickly stopped and wiped my face with my arm.

            Courtney Hartford stepped out of a stall, her eyes widening in surprise at the sight of me. "Hi." She walked over to the sinks and washed her hands, ignoring my sullen glare. She dried them on her cotton mini-skirt, which matched the rest of her outfit completely, down to her socks and the scrunchie holding her ponytail in place. Then she turned to me. "I'm really sorry about Jordan," she said softly.

            I snorted cynically.

            "Really, I am," Courtney told me, walking to where I was sitting and sliding down next to me. "That must have been horrible, hearing about that. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy."

            "Which, ironically, is me," I said bitterly, getting up from where I was sitting.

            Courtney sighed. "Moira, you're not my worst enemy."

            "Oh, I'm not? Because you sure could've fooled me," I shot back.

            "Look, do you want to know the truth?" Courtney asked me.

            "The truth?" I repeated. "Well, that's not something I hear every day."

            "I'm jealous of you."

            "What?!"

            Courtney sighed. "Yeah, I was really freaked out and scared the first time I found out you had powers, but after a while…I secretly thought they were really cool. And I was jealous."

            I stared at her. "You do know that's the single corniest thing I've heard all day, don't you?"

            "Yeah, I figured as much. But that's the truth."

            "It's almost sort of refreshing," I admitted, walking over to the sinks again, looking at myself.

            Courtney sidled up next to me, looking at my reflection. "Can you imagine what Derek went through? He was the one who got attacked. Can you imagine seeing what he saw?"

            I turned away, a fresh wave of anger sweeping through me. "I don't have to imagine. I was there."

            Courtney looked shocked. "You were there?"

            "Yeah, and for your information, Derek wasn't as innocent as he makes himself sound."

            "What do you mean?" she asked quietly.

            I lifted the leg of my jeans to reveal my Ace-bandaged ankle. "Derek was trying to hurt me when Jordan found us. That's why Jordan attacked him."

            Courtney gave a little gasp. "Oh my God. Jordan was trying to protect you…"

            I turned away from her again. "It doesn't matter. There were other ways of protecting me. I didn't need his protection. He should've just stayed out of it." I wrapped my arms around myself. "I've been so stupid about Jordan. Why would he ever want to be with me when he's got girls like Ashley Ballard throwing themselves at their feet? The answer to that is simple. It's the same reason why Cal Blaire wanted my mother. I have power. Ashley doesn't. Jordan can use me for his own twisted evil plans."

            Courtney blinked. "Okay, I didn't understand half of what you just said, but I know that you weren't stupid about Jordan." And then she said two words that I don't think either of us ever expected her to say.

            "You're human."

*  *  *

            After our extremely strange encounter in the girls' bathroom, Courtney and I walked back to the cafeteria together, making small talk about the classes we shared together.

            "Hey, witch," Ashley yelled at me, grinning maliciously. "Sorry to hear about your precious boyfriend. You must be so upset that you're not the only freak in town. Guess you'll have to get over it." I ignored her as best I could, planning to walk away, but Courtney stopped me dead in my tracks with what would surely go down in history.

            "Ashley? Shut the hell up."

            I whirled around, my eyes wide. Courtney was glaring at her former leader with such contempt that her clear blue irises were almost literally sparking. "You seem to forget that you wanted Jordan, too. You could very well be in Moira's position right now. But you think you're so special and cool and above everyone else. And you're not. And I wish you were in the woods with Derek so maybe Jordan would have blown you up, because you're the world's biggest bitch."

            There was dead silence in the cafeteria. Everyone turned or looked up to stare at Courtney, even Jordan, who was sitting by himself in a far corner of the cafeteria. Even I was shocked. That was the worst thing anyone had ever said to Ashley Ballard, or any head cheerleader for that matter. I half-expected to see Ashley's eyes roll into the back of her head and watch her slide off her chair.

            Courtney marched off, leaving me standing in front of the stunned cheerleader table. I could only laugh nervously, then run after Courtney.

            "You do know you just defended me in public, right?" I asked her once I caught up.

            "Yes," she answered in the same defiant voice she'd used with Ashley.

            "You stood up to the girl you've idolized this whole school year and called her the world's biggest bitch," I recapped.

            "Yes," Courtney confirmed, sounding a little less self-assured than before.

            "…You know they're never going to talk to you again, right?"

            "Yes!" Courtney sobbed, burying her face in my shoulder.

            I grinned, patting Courtney's head. "You did a good thing."

            "Next time you see me doing a good thing," she told me through clenched teeth, "hit me over the head with something heavy."

            "Will do, Corky. Will do."

            We walked over to the coven's table, and sat down together amid the once-again present chatty din of the cafeteria. Claire actually told Courtney that she was impressed, which was replied to with a pitiful groan. I laughed at them, but stopped as I felt eyes on me. I turned to see Jordan looking at me. His eyes were angry, his mouth a thin line. A leather-bound book was open in front of him. A Book of Shadows. My stomach knotted at that thought. He had a Book of Shadows this whole time, probably making notes on how he met a powerful witch, one of the Riordan line, and how he'd succeeded in making her fall in love with him.

            The story's already been done, I thought, looking Jordan dead in the eyes. And once again, the Riordan will win.

*  *  *

            I skipped Global History the next period, being in no mood to learn about things that happened hundreds of years ago. I walked out a side door, wrapping my arms around myself against the chilly April wind. I turned the corner of the building and saw Rusty leaning against the wall, staring at some distant point in the sky. He turned as he heard me approaching. "Hi, Moira," he said, sounding surprised.

            I suddenly felt shy. "I didn't know this was your free period," I said.

            Rusty gave me a smirk. "I didn't know ninth graders got free periods," he quipped.

            I looked away, leaning back onto the brick building and stuffing my hands in my pockets. "I'm cutting. So what?"

            "Jordan's having a bad influence on you," Rusty muttered.

            A dark look crossed my face. "If you're going to just rub it in my face that Jordan's evil, I'm leaving."

            "I'm sorry, Moira," Rusty said without any tone of remorse, "but I did tell you that I had a bad feeling about Jordan. You didn't listen to me."

            I slapped the wall in frustration. "Look, I know that I was stupid. But it still hurts to think that my first boyfriend turned out to be so rotten."

            Rusty looked at me, without any clear emotion on his face. "Maybe your second boyfriend won't be so rotten," he said quietly, moving closer to me.

            I narrowed my eyes. "Let me guess, maybe he won't be so rotten but maybe he'll be a little rusty," I said dryly.

            Rusty was in front of me now, staring into my eyes. I couldn't help but notice that it didn't have the same effect as when Jordan did the same thing. Suddenly, Rusty was leaning down to kiss me.

            I moved away quickly, and Rusty hit his head on the brick building. "What are you doing?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

            "Why did you move?" Rusty retorted angrily, rubbing his head.

            "I asked you first. What do you think you're doing?"

            Rusty sighed and looked away, running his fingers through his hair. "Moira…I like you. Okay? I really like you."

            "So, what, that gives you license to just kiss me whenever you want?" I yelled, taking one more step back.

            "Moira, what's your problem?" Rusty shot back. "Why are you getting so upset?"

            "Because I love Jordan!"

            We both fell silent. I, in true sitcom fashion, had slapped my hands over my own mouth. What was I saying?

            "What?" Rusty said, staring at me in disbelief. I was at a loss for words. "Moira, he's dangerous. He tried to hurt someone--"

            "He didn't try to hurt anyone. He was trying to save me." I looked up into Rusty's eyes, the truth pouring out. "Derek was trying to hurt me. If Jordan hadn't stopped him, I wouldn't be here right now."

            Rusty took a step back from me. "So now you're defending Jordan."

            "I'm not defending him," I said, crossing my arms across my chest.

            Rusty shook his head. "Whatever." He turned and walked away from me. I could only watch him leave.

*  *  *

            During seventh period, I was called down to the principal's office. As I walked to Mr. Richter's office, I thought about how I hadn't been down there in two weeks. Usually, I was in there every other day, because of me being a witch. I had avoided being everyone's problem until today.

            "Hello, Moira," Mr. Richter said, sounding almost friendly as I sat down in my usual seat. I gave him a why are you acting strange look and slouched down in the chair. Mr. Richter sighed and said, "Moira, we need to talk."

            "About?" I asked indifferently.

            "Mr. Crandon tells me you cut sixth period today."

            "Yeah. I did."

            Mr. Richter drummed his fingers on his desk. "You've never done this before."

            "First time for everything."

            "You've thrown students off their chairs with your powers, but you've never cut class."

            He was talking about Derek. I didn't want to think about Derek, or Jordan, or what Jordan almost did to Derek, which made my act against Derek seem stupid and childlike. I could tell by the way that Mr. Richter was half-smiling that he'd been trying to make a joke. I stared back at him sullenly.

            His half-smile faded. "I wish you'd talk to me about what's wrong."

            "What makes you think something is wrong?" I asked him.

            Mr. Richter shifted uncomfortably. "Well, I heard that you recently broke up with your boyfriend."

            I stared at him. "Mr. Richter, do you usually know this much about all your students' personal lives?"

            "Well, no. But you're a special case."

            "I'm sick of being a special case," I muttered, slouching down farther into the chair. "To answer your question, yes. Jordan broke up with me on Saturday. And I don't want to talk about why."

            Mr. Richter looked at me sympathetically. "Was it another girl?"

            I almost laughed. "I wish it was another girl, because, see, that would be normal. But since it's me and I can't have a normal life, everything is screwed up."

            The principal looked down, looking extremely uncomfortable. "Moira, is…is Jordan gay?"

            I just looked at him in disbelief. "No, Jordan is not gay." I stood up, only wanting to leave.

            "Moira--"

            "Look, I already told you that I don't want to talk about it," I interrupted. "I'll serve detention with Mr. Crandon today after school, and everything will be good. Okay?"

            Mr. Richter looked a bit defeated. "Okay, Moira…but remember, I'm always here to talk to."

            "Uh huh." I picked up my backpack and walked out of his office. After thinking about our conversation, I realized that Alexa and Marissa were right.

            Apparently, it's against the laws of nature for me, Moira Riordan-Niall, to have any amount of normalcy in my life. I sighed. I hate being a witch.

*  *  *

            I walked out of Mr. Crandon's room as the end-of-detention bell rang. Mr. Crandon had looked really disappointed in me. Detention itself wasn't that bad. I did my homework for the forty-five minutes he kept me in his classroom. And now, I was finally free. Claire and Jamie had offered to wait for me and give me a ride home, but I turned them down, saying that I needed the peaceful walk home.

            As I walked away from the school, I felt someone's presence behind me. I twisted around and, to my horror, saw Jordan following me. My pulse sped up. What was he doing still at school? Crap, I thought, walking a little faster. I should have said yes to that ride.

            A few minutes later, I looked back towards the school. Jordan had picked up his pace, too, his eyes narrowed on me. I snapped my head forward and tried to walk faster without it looking too noticeable. I heard fast steps behind me, and I looked one more time to actually see Jordan running towards me.

            Okay, screw subtlety. I turned and began sprinting down the street. My backpack bounced uncomfortably on my back, and I wanted desperately to throw it down on the ground. Jordan was gaining on me. "Moira! Moira, stop!"

            Suddenly, a voice inside me said, Yeah, Moira. Stop. Stop and show this kid what a Riordan witch is made of.

            I stopped and turned around to face Jordan. He slowed down as he neared me, breathing hard. His dirty blonde hair was falling into those light green eyes of his, and I was sickened to realize that my stomach still tied itself in knots when I looked at him. "What?" I asked him, my voice clipped and hard.

            "Moira, we need to talk," Jordan told me, looking straight into my eyes. He still gave me the shivers.

            I looked away from him. "The only thing we need to talk about is why you lied to me."

            "I didn't lie to you," Jordan said, sounding almost honest.

            "Yeah, you just forgot to mention that you're a blood witch," I spat. "Jordan, I'm not stupid. I know who you really are. You're probably part of some dark coven planning on using my mother's and my dad's and my own power for your own evil purposes."

            Jordan stared at me for a moment. "…What?"

            "Don't act so shocked just because I figured you out. I saw you writing in your Book of Shadows. Today, at lunch, where everyone can see!"

            "You mean my journal?" Jordan asked, yanking the leather-bound book from his backpack. "My aunt sent me this, for God's sake! It's a normal journal."

            "Journal, Book of Shadows, it's all the same when you're a witch," I told him.

            "Why are you so scared?" he asked me suddenly.

            I stared at him. "I'm not scared," I said crossly.

            "Then how come you can't even look at me ever since I—what did I do again? Oh yeah, saved your life," Jordan shot at me. "I don't believe I ever got a thank you for that."

            "Alright, here it is. Thank you for using your evil powers to save me. I could have done it myself, you asshole," I quipped sarcastically. "You're evading my question. Tell me what big plan of yours am I a part of."

            "Oh, you mean the plan where we get married and have kids and grow old together? Because that's the only big plan that I have with you," Jordan answered, looking deep into my eyes.

            The shock took a second to pass. "So you admit you have other big plans?"

            "Moira, will you listen to me?!" Jordan yelled, grabbing my shoulders.

            "Let go of me!" I wretched myself away and punched Jordan, my fist colliding with his jaw. Jordan staggered backwards, bringing his hands up to his face. I turned and ran home. Images of what had happened in the woods flashed back to me. I'd just assaulted a sixteen-year-old witch who could throw white witch fire. There was definitely a battle in my near future.