Disclaimer: "So Lily, how's your fabulous life?" asks Carl, the smug
bastard, clearly focusing on his stupid Nutri-bird. "My life," I laugh, not
wanting to give them all the satisfaction of hearing my troubles, "My life,
my little life." I turn to my sister Anyanka, smiling for some weird
reason. "You wanna tell them, Anya?" She smiles as she begins, "Oh, well
she was just fabulously fired from her job!" My mouth drops. How could she
know this? "Yeah, her boss got tired of her spending all her time writing
fan fiction based on Joss Whedon's Buffy the Vampire Slayer and William
Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream, so he up and canned her!" "Is there
anything else?" I ask, clearly surprised. "Oh, well, our niece Kitty is
probably, right at this very moment, losing her virginity and getting
pregnant. Kinda like . . ." she stops, looking at me. "Kinda like her mom,"
I finish, laughing while I take a drag off my cigarette. Mom bolts up,
crying and running to the kitchen. Dad takes off after her. "Oh god! Look
what you did now!" cries my brother Steve, getting up to follow. Great. The
holidays are ruined, once again.
Rating: PG-13- Naughtiness by the Bard
Summary: 100% AU! Magic? Mistaken identity? Fairies? True love? And . . . donkey lovin'? BTVS meets Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream!
Author's Notes: I apologize for this incredibly long delay. I've had lots of homework and things to do over last week (winter break crap, ick), and then I've had problems creatively with my other story, so I wouldn't work on this one until I fixed the other one. No more creative blocks! Hurrah! Last chapter was kinda short, I know, but it was all I could do. Here's a longer one to make up for the delay and shortness of chapter three. Hope you enjoy my decisions for the remaining characters! Love to you all, and have a happy Christmas/ Kwaanza (SP, I know)/ Ramadan (SP again, don't tell me)/ Yule/ Winter Solstice/ Boxing Day/ Drinking Day (a common holiday for us atheists).
PS: In the spirit of family dysfunction during this time of year, I stole (oops), borrowed my disclaimer from the funny Thanksgiving movie (yeah, I know), Home for the Holidays. It perfectly mirrors how Christmas at my house is spent. Or would be, if I didn't chain myself in my room, passing the time by watching BTVS reruns or Kevin Smith films. Again, have a happy winter holiday time!
Chapter Four- Ill Met By Moonlight
Stratford forest lay on the edge of Sunnydale, ten square miles of unspoiled wildlife. Grand trees sprouted from the soil, followed by countless species of flowers and ferns. Five ponds were scattered through the area, prime fishing and relaxation spots. In all its years as a protected environment, at least twenty percent of the area remained unexplored.
Children didn't just play in Stratford forest, they lived in it. They used the immense exposed tree roots as clubhouses, the open fields as playgrounds. Young lovers explored the caves, hoping for a little private time. Families ate picnics on the sandy pond shore.
But at night, when the children were safely tucked away and the world shut down, Stratford forest changed. Ponds danced in the crystal moonlight, while the trees danced with any passing wind. Animals, hidden in the warm daylight, raced through the fields with a rush of energy. Children who played during the day knew the secrets, as did their parents long ago: Nighttime is magic time in the forest.
Far away in the town, the clock struck midnight. It echoed by the trees, into the caves, over the sparkling water. There was movement; little specks of light weaving its way through the calm midsummer air.
One certain speck of light stopped, spun around in a tight circle, and then began to grow. This light took on form, created skin, hair, and clothing. Feet touched earth, and it began to walk. A fairy.
Her name was Tara, head servant to the queen. A wreath of flowers set upon her dark blonde hair, while garlands clung to her gauzy dress. Her wings, yellow as the sun, trailed behind her, occasionally catching on a stray branch or root. She didn't enjoy being in Stratford forest during this time of year, but she had no choice. There was work to be done.
Tara entered a clearing. Showers of shimmering moonlight, reflected by the calm pond water, brightened the area. Holding the hem of her dress, she bent down to the water, cupping her hands for a drink.
"What are you doing here?" a voice asked in the night.
Turning, Tara searched for the voice's owner. It came from the shadows surrounding the pond. "Taking a break before the queen calls for me. Then she'll have me racing through the woods, tending to the flowers, arranging the leaves by her throne. I never get a moments piece."
One shadow moved, coming into the light. Tara could see that it belonged to a sweet-faced young fairy, her long red hair cascading down her shoulders.
"Ah, an attendant for the lovely Queen Cordelia," the fairy laughed, her face beaming with joy.
As the fairy came closer, Tara began to notice odd things about her. Instead of the long gown traditionally worn by the fairies, she wore long pants dyed to match her hair. Her tank top was made from material that could have been silver, and shone in the soft moonlight. Bare feet peaked from the hem of her pants. When Tara squinted, she could see two tiny, light brown nubs of horns coming through the girl's head.
"Oh God!" shrieked Tara; "I know who you are! Why didn't I see it before? You're that elf, Willow!"
"I am, am I?" the redhead nonchalantly answered, trying not to attract any attention.
"Yes! You're the one causing all those problems with the humans! Last week, you turned seventy carburetors into cats! God, that's all anyone's been talking about!"
As Tara began to laugh, Willow realized that she couldn't lie anymore.
"You're right, that's me. I'm Willow, King Xander's source of amusement. It's my job to make sure His Highness is happy, because when he's unhappy . . . bad things kinda happen. Like last month, he- Oh, I'm rambling, aren't I?"
Sitting down on a nearby stump together, the two laughed.
"No," the blonde exclaimed, "I really don't mind the rambling. It takes my mind off of all the stuff going on."
Willow frowned. "Oh, you mean the thing with . . ."
"Yeah, that thing with the two . . ." Tara stopped, neither wanting to discuss the latest argument between their bosses. "How long has it been since they've spoken to each other?"
"Six months," sighed the redhead. "He's been going crazy, all moody-like. That's why I had to do the thing with the cat. Doesn't the queen realize that he's sorry?"
The fairy shook her head. "No, she's still angry. You'd think he'd know better!"
"Well, he doesn't."
Silence overtook the two as they gazed onto the lake. The precious peace that was always appreciated between the arguing. It wouldn't last.
It didn't. Beneath them, the ground began to shake. Animals ran from the woods, hiding from the impending fight. Trees thrashed above, moaning horribly.
As fast as they could, Tara and Willow ran into the woods, hoping it wouldn't be too late.
By the caves, a crowd of fairies was forming, all of them silent with fear. They pushed through the mob, coming upon the arguing royalty.
On one side stood Queen Cordelia, mother of the fairies, the grand roses woven through her chocolate-brown hair nodding furiously as she screamed. Fists ground into her hips, bunching around her deep violet gown. Her large wings, now bright crimson, shook with rage.
"SHE WAS A HALF-LING?!" shrieked the queen to her king.
King Xander, father to the fairy race, stood on the other side, sheepishly shrugging. "I didn't know she was a half-ling," he apologetically muttered. His crown, brilliant rays of gold sitting on top of his messy hair, had grown almost pale.
She had caught him.
Again.
"DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT WILL MAKE IT OK?"
"Um . . . not really."
With a quick spin, Cordelia sent the fairies flanking her away. Confidently holding her head up, she marched over to her husband.
"I don't think I can ever trust you again! I mean, your little incident with the water nymph could have been labeled as a 'mistake'! But this?"
Taking her hand, Xander began to rub it soothingly. "I'm so so SO sorry, Cordy. It was a one-time thing. I just miss you so much and I . . ."
His hopes began to elevate when he saw her soften, but it quickly passed.
"Listen to me, Xander," she whispered, holding back tears, "I can't forgive you, ever. So you stay on your part of the forest. Sleep with as many half- lings or nymphs as you want to. Just stay away from me."
Turning, she walked away, her fairies following behind. Tara gave Willow a look of apology, then followed her lady. The crowd dispersed, leaving King Xander and Willow alone.
"I . . . I-I, I just . . ." he began, seating himself on a rock. Following him, Willow sat down next to him.
"You know she doesn't mean that. She's just all mad and angry, but she'll get over it. Doesn't she always?"
Sighing, Xander patted his longtime confidante on the back. "She used to, but now . . . I made a stupid mistake, and she won't forgive me." He lay on the rock, wallowing in his misery. "I have to get her back."
"Oh, idea!" proclaimed the elf. "You could keep apologizing until she forgives you!"
"Nah, Willow," he sighed, "I need to make her understand how I'm feeling. I have to make her . . ."
He had an epiphany. It was a simple idea, but it would work.
Quickly bolting up, he shocked the redhead. "Willow, do know that red flower that grows by the edge of the woods? The pansy?"
"Yeah," she replied, not knowing where this was going.
"Go pick me a bouquet of that flower! Quickly!"
"Why do I have to?"
A broad smile spread across his face. "Inside the flower lies a juice, a magic solution that, when placed on the eyes of any sleeping creature, makes them fall in love with the first living thing it sees!"
Willow shot up. "Oh no! You are NOT doing that!"
"It has to be done! She needs to be put in my place!"
"King Xander, I . . . I can't do that!"
The friendly attitude was replaced by one of authority. "I order you to get that flower! NOW!"
"Fine," she spat out angrily. "You'll have it shortly."
Quick as lightning, the elf was off.
Reclining on the rock, Xander began to think out the plan. "When Cordelia goes to sleep tonight, I'll put the juice on her. In the morning . . . oh god, I'll make sure she falls in love with the ugliest creature that ever existed. And everyone in the forest will find out, and she'll be so embarrassed that she'll understand how I feel, and then forgive me!"
His gloating was interrupted by the voices of two mortals walking nearby. A man and a woman, the woman shrieking and crying, while the man gruffly responded. They were coming close.
"Well, what do we have here?" asked the fairy king, sitting up to watch the show.
Rating: PG-13- Naughtiness by the Bard
Summary: 100% AU! Magic? Mistaken identity? Fairies? True love? And . . . donkey lovin'? BTVS meets Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream!
Author's Notes: I apologize for this incredibly long delay. I've had lots of homework and things to do over last week (winter break crap, ick), and then I've had problems creatively with my other story, so I wouldn't work on this one until I fixed the other one. No more creative blocks! Hurrah! Last chapter was kinda short, I know, but it was all I could do. Here's a longer one to make up for the delay and shortness of chapter three. Hope you enjoy my decisions for the remaining characters! Love to you all, and have a happy Christmas/ Kwaanza (SP, I know)/ Ramadan (SP again, don't tell me)/ Yule/ Winter Solstice/ Boxing Day/ Drinking Day (a common holiday for us atheists).
PS: In the spirit of family dysfunction during this time of year, I stole (oops), borrowed my disclaimer from the funny Thanksgiving movie (yeah, I know), Home for the Holidays. It perfectly mirrors how Christmas at my house is spent. Or would be, if I didn't chain myself in my room, passing the time by watching BTVS reruns or Kevin Smith films. Again, have a happy winter holiday time!
Chapter Four- Ill Met By Moonlight
Stratford forest lay on the edge of Sunnydale, ten square miles of unspoiled wildlife. Grand trees sprouted from the soil, followed by countless species of flowers and ferns. Five ponds were scattered through the area, prime fishing and relaxation spots. In all its years as a protected environment, at least twenty percent of the area remained unexplored.
Children didn't just play in Stratford forest, they lived in it. They used the immense exposed tree roots as clubhouses, the open fields as playgrounds. Young lovers explored the caves, hoping for a little private time. Families ate picnics on the sandy pond shore.
But at night, when the children were safely tucked away and the world shut down, Stratford forest changed. Ponds danced in the crystal moonlight, while the trees danced with any passing wind. Animals, hidden in the warm daylight, raced through the fields with a rush of energy. Children who played during the day knew the secrets, as did their parents long ago: Nighttime is magic time in the forest.
Far away in the town, the clock struck midnight. It echoed by the trees, into the caves, over the sparkling water. There was movement; little specks of light weaving its way through the calm midsummer air.
One certain speck of light stopped, spun around in a tight circle, and then began to grow. This light took on form, created skin, hair, and clothing. Feet touched earth, and it began to walk. A fairy.
Her name was Tara, head servant to the queen. A wreath of flowers set upon her dark blonde hair, while garlands clung to her gauzy dress. Her wings, yellow as the sun, trailed behind her, occasionally catching on a stray branch or root. She didn't enjoy being in Stratford forest during this time of year, but she had no choice. There was work to be done.
Tara entered a clearing. Showers of shimmering moonlight, reflected by the calm pond water, brightened the area. Holding the hem of her dress, she bent down to the water, cupping her hands for a drink.
"What are you doing here?" a voice asked in the night.
Turning, Tara searched for the voice's owner. It came from the shadows surrounding the pond. "Taking a break before the queen calls for me. Then she'll have me racing through the woods, tending to the flowers, arranging the leaves by her throne. I never get a moments piece."
One shadow moved, coming into the light. Tara could see that it belonged to a sweet-faced young fairy, her long red hair cascading down her shoulders.
"Ah, an attendant for the lovely Queen Cordelia," the fairy laughed, her face beaming with joy.
As the fairy came closer, Tara began to notice odd things about her. Instead of the long gown traditionally worn by the fairies, she wore long pants dyed to match her hair. Her tank top was made from material that could have been silver, and shone in the soft moonlight. Bare feet peaked from the hem of her pants. When Tara squinted, she could see two tiny, light brown nubs of horns coming through the girl's head.
"Oh God!" shrieked Tara; "I know who you are! Why didn't I see it before? You're that elf, Willow!"
"I am, am I?" the redhead nonchalantly answered, trying not to attract any attention.
"Yes! You're the one causing all those problems with the humans! Last week, you turned seventy carburetors into cats! God, that's all anyone's been talking about!"
As Tara began to laugh, Willow realized that she couldn't lie anymore.
"You're right, that's me. I'm Willow, King Xander's source of amusement. It's my job to make sure His Highness is happy, because when he's unhappy . . . bad things kinda happen. Like last month, he- Oh, I'm rambling, aren't I?"
Sitting down on a nearby stump together, the two laughed.
"No," the blonde exclaimed, "I really don't mind the rambling. It takes my mind off of all the stuff going on."
Willow frowned. "Oh, you mean the thing with . . ."
"Yeah, that thing with the two . . ." Tara stopped, neither wanting to discuss the latest argument between their bosses. "How long has it been since they've spoken to each other?"
"Six months," sighed the redhead. "He's been going crazy, all moody-like. That's why I had to do the thing with the cat. Doesn't the queen realize that he's sorry?"
The fairy shook her head. "No, she's still angry. You'd think he'd know better!"
"Well, he doesn't."
Silence overtook the two as they gazed onto the lake. The precious peace that was always appreciated between the arguing. It wouldn't last.
It didn't. Beneath them, the ground began to shake. Animals ran from the woods, hiding from the impending fight. Trees thrashed above, moaning horribly.
As fast as they could, Tara and Willow ran into the woods, hoping it wouldn't be too late.
By the caves, a crowd of fairies was forming, all of them silent with fear. They pushed through the mob, coming upon the arguing royalty.
On one side stood Queen Cordelia, mother of the fairies, the grand roses woven through her chocolate-brown hair nodding furiously as she screamed. Fists ground into her hips, bunching around her deep violet gown. Her large wings, now bright crimson, shook with rage.
"SHE WAS A HALF-LING?!" shrieked the queen to her king.
King Xander, father to the fairy race, stood on the other side, sheepishly shrugging. "I didn't know she was a half-ling," he apologetically muttered. His crown, brilliant rays of gold sitting on top of his messy hair, had grown almost pale.
She had caught him.
Again.
"DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT WILL MAKE IT OK?"
"Um . . . not really."
With a quick spin, Cordelia sent the fairies flanking her away. Confidently holding her head up, she marched over to her husband.
"I don't think I can ever trust you again! I mean, your little incident with the water nymph could have been labeled as a 'mistake'! But this?"
Taking her hand, Xander began to rub it soothingly. "I'm so so SO sorry, Cordy. It was a one-time thing. I just miss you so much and I . . ."
His hopes began to elevate when he saw her soften, but it quickly passed.
"Listen to me, Xander," she whispered, holding back tears, "I can't forgive you, ever. So you stay on your part of the forest. Sleep with as many half- lings or nymphs as you want to. Just stay away from me."
Turning, she walked away, her fairies following behind. Tara gave Willow a look of apology, then followed her lady. The crowd dispersed, leaving King Xander and Willow alone.
"I . . . I-I, I just . . ." he began, seating himself on a rock. Following him, Willow sat down next to him.
"You know she doesn't mean that. She's just all mad and angry, but she'll get over it. Doesn't she always?"
Sighing, Xander patted his longtime confidante on the back. "She used to, but now . . . I made a stupid mistake, and she won't forgive me." He lay on the rock, wallowing in his misery. "I have to get her back."
"Oh, idea!" proclaimed the elf. "You could keep apologizing until she forgives you!"
"Nah, Willow," he sighed, "I need to make her understand how I'm feeling. I have to make her . . ."
He had an epiphany. It was a simple idea, but it would work.
Quickly bolting up, he shocked the redhead. "Willow, do know that red flower that grows by the edge of the woods? The pansy?"
"Yeah," she replied, not knowing where this was going.
"Go pick me a bouquet of that flower! Quickly!"
"Why do I have to?"
A broad smile spread across his face. "Inside the flower lies a juice, a magic solution that, when placed on the eyes of any sleeping creature, makes them fall in love with the first living thing it sees!"
Willow shot up. "Oh no! You are NOT doing that!"
"It has to be done! She needs to be put in my place!"
"King Xander, I . . . I can't do that!"
The friendly attitude was replaced by one of authority. "I order you to get that flower! NOW!"
"Fine," she spat out angrily. "You'll have it shortly."
Quick as lightning, the elf was off.
Reclining on the rock, Xander began to think out the plan. "When Cordelia goes to sleep tonight, I'll put the juice on her. In the morning . . . oh god, I'll make sure she falls in love with the ugliest creature that ever existed. And everyone in the forest will find out, and she'll be so embarrassed that she'll understand how I feel, and then forgive me!"
His gloating was interrupted by the voices of two mortals walking nearby. A man and a woman, the woman shrieking and crying, while the man gruffly responded. They were coming close.
"Well, what do we have here?" asked the fairy king, sitting up to watch the show.