Part Three
I pushed myself away from him and stood up. "I am going to assume that you don't actually plan to kill anyone."
"Ask me again tomorrow. Right now I could kill him with my bare hands."
"And this lawyer has something to do with what happened in Paraguay?" I walked over to the sofa and sat down. My disappointment was barely manageable and I wrapped my arms around my middle.
"Listen, Mac, I've already said too much." He stood also and started pacing in front of the couch.
"And so now you'll just disappear again to pursue your newest obsession." I tried to keep the bitterness from my voice.
"I'm just doing my job."
"Avenging this woman's death is not part of your job, Harm."
"No, it's my job to follow the leads wherever they take me. But let me make one thing clear. I only have one obsession these days."
"What's that?" I asked wearily.
"You." His voice was hushed.
My eyes flew to his, and his low, dark voice washed over me, saying the words I'd only heard in my dreams.
"When I resigned my commission and went to Paraguay, it was about you. When I accepted this deal with the CIA it was about you. And when this job is finished it will still be about you."
I could barely breathe. "I'm right here."
"And this time I'm the one with one foot out the door." He sat down beside me on the sofa and turned his body so that he was facing me. "I'm in no position to ask you to wait for me, Mac. So I won't. I want you to get on with your life while I'm trying to straighten out mine. But I am also telling you right now that when this job is finished-and I don't care if it takes weeks or months or years-when all of this is finished, I'm coming back for you."
"I'm not going anywhere, Harm."
"Well, I won't hold you to that, Mac. I know you have some unfinished business with Webb."
I tried to protest but he stopped me before I could say anything. "You don't need to explain. I understand how he feels about you. I'm just warning you that even if I come back and find out that you have become the new Mrs. Clayton Webb, it won't stop me."
"When did you turn into such a caveman?" I smiled at the absurdity of it.
Smiling he shrugged. "I tried the noble approach with Lowne and Brumby. It didn't get me very far." He stood up and pulled me to my feet. "Walk me to the door."
"You're leaving?" I didn't want him to go.
"I think I should." He sounded determined.
"I have a better idea." I started dragging him toward the bedroom. "You need some sleep."
"If we go back into the bedroom it won't be to sleep." He stopped short and hauled me up against him.
"I was hoping you'd say that." But I saw the regret in his eyes even before he spoke.
"Mac, we can't. Not now. Not like this. It wouldn't be fair to you."
"I thought you were going to give up on the noble approach." I tried not to pout, but couldn't keep from turning my face away when he tried to kiss me.
He chased my mouth with his and whispered softly, "Kiss me, Mac."
I had no will to resist. I turned my mouth back to his, seeking his gentleness. Instead I was met by savage intent. It was a kiss full of want and need and the loneliness we were both certain to endure in the coming weeks. He ended the kiss reluctantly and I tried not to cling as he walked out the door and disappeared from my life once more.
I floated through the next few days, replaying Harm's words in my head. I was optimistic that he would be home soon, and we would finally have a chance to explore this thing between us. At least we both seemed to want the same thing at the same time for a change. But days turned into weeks and nothing happened. He called a couple of times, but couldn't really share what he was doing, so I would tell him about my days at JAG. My court cases, Harriet's pregnancy, Sturgis and Bud facing off against each other. He seemed comforted by the familiar news. Another night he called and we barely spoke. Like an adolescent I was content to listen to him breathe. Breaking the connection had been painful, and like an adolescent I was certain I could die of heartache.
I finally started badgering Webb for information. We'd stayed close while he recovered from his injuries. I'd made it clear that friendship was all he could expect, and he had accepted that easily enough. If he still had feelings for me he never mentioned them, and I think we both felt relieved to find ourselves back in a more comfortable place with each other. So we had fallen into a habit of spending time together at least one night a week after work. I was lonely, and he hadn't gotten back into the swing of his old social life yet. He was working again, though only part time. The background work he had done in Paraguay had been extensive and the contacts he had established had proven invaluable to the ongoing investigations, so his superiors had rewarded him by allowing him to return to work at Langley. He wasn't overseeing anything anymore, but Catherine Gale kept him up to date and consulted with him from time to time.
I never told him about Harm's visits, but Webb was a pretty smart guy. If he thought Harm was oblivious than he certainly found me to be nothing if not obvious. He had always been able to see how I felt about the man, so he wasn't surprised that I was worried about Harm's new job. He also knew that he owed Harm his life, so keeping his ex partner from dissolving into hysteria with bits of news occasionally was a small price to pay.
Almost six weeks after Harm had walked out of my door, Clayton called on a Friday afternoon and told me to meet him at Dusty's. I was familiar with the place. Dusty's was an upscale restaurant and bar that catered to the upwardly mobile career crowd. It was full of slate table tops, cast iron chairs and strategically placed uplights that gave the place a warm glow. The food was unassuming and on a Friday night the drinks were half priced, so the crowd was already happy by the time I arrived and looked around for Webb. He was waiting for me outside near the entrance and threw his arm around me and led me inside.
We were walking to our table when I saw him. He was standing near the bar, and he was laughing. His hand rested at the small of a woman's back. She was blonde, and I hated her on sight. When she turned I recognized Catherine Gale. She was looking up at him, flirting, laughing in return.
Harm had come home, but instead of coming to see me he was here with her. Clayton pulled out my chair, so I blindly sat down and asked, "Did you know he would be here?"
He didn't ask who I meant, but did seem surprised by my tone of voice. "I thought you would be happy to see him. Do you want to leave?"
Before I could answer, Catherine spotted us and waved. She started toward our table pulling a shocked looking Harm along with her.
"Webb! I'd heard that some woman was managing to get you back into circulation, but I didn't know it was Sarah McKenzie. Nice to see you again, Colonel." She stuck out her hand so I was forced to take it.
Webb stood at her approach. "Hello Catherine. Yes, Sarah is just what the doctor ordered. I don't know what I would have done without her."
She still held Harm's arm and turned to him. "Isn't this a nice surprise?"
"Hi, Mac." He looked uncomfortable.
"Harm." I managed a weak smile that didn't go unnoticed by Ms. Gale. I tried to cover my reaction by cheerfully inviting them to join us.
Harm said hello to Clayton and shook his hand before pulling out Catherine's chair. He sat down in the chair adjacent to me allowing his knee to brush against mine. I moved away from the contact and asked Catherine brightly, "Well, how's your newest recruit doing?"
She grabbed his hand off the table and said sweetly while staring at him adoringly, "Well, I don't want to embarrass him, but I think he could be good at anything he tried. I know I have learned a lot by listening to the way he thinks a problem through. I have found it fascinating. But you must know all of that. You are so lucky to have worked with him for all those years. I really envy you."
She certainly was touchy feely for a CIA lawyer. I couldn't stop staring at their joined hands. I had an overpowering urge to stab them both with my fork.
Harm pulled his hand away from hers and changed the subject. "So Mac, how are things at JAG?"
"You know how it is, Harm. Just the same old, dull military cases, week after week. We have tried our best to carry on without you, though. You really should stop by and see everyone if you are going to be in town for a while. I know they all miss you."
I must have sounded sarcastic because Clayton reached over and rubbed my forearm soothingly and then asked the question that I had been dying to ask since I first spotted him across the room. "So, when did you get back into town, Harm?"
He glanced at Webb's hand resting on my arm then answered bravely, "About a week ago, I guess."
About a week ago! It was worse than I thought. He had been home for a week and hadn't even called. I needed to escape so I stood up and asked to be excused.
I practically ran to the ladies room. I washed my face and force myself to take some deep breaths. There had to be a good reason if he hadn't called or come to see me. How could he not come to see me? I wouldn't jump to any conclusions until after I talked to him. Then I would kill him. There had to be a simple explanation and I couldn't hide in the restroom all night. I plastered a smile on my face and marched out to rejoin them.
He was waiting for me at the bar when I came out of the ladies room.
"Don't go home with him," He grabbed my arm as I started to walk past him. "We need to talk."
"Harm, your date is watching us. You might want to let go of me."
"She's not my date."
"Oh, really? Did you tell her that?"
"Mac, she is not my date." He released my arm as he repeated his earlier denial.
"Then what is she?"
"She's just my partner."
Those words ripped into me with a force I wasn't prepared for. I was supposed to be his partner. I was Sundance to his Butch, Robin to his Batman. That was just the way it was supposed to be. I almost wished she was his date. I conjured up an excuse for a smile and said, "It doesn't look like you had any trouble breaking in a new one."
He realized what he'd said and apology, frustration and stubbornness were all evident on his face. He stepped closer to me and reached for my hand. "Mac, I hate this. Please don't go home with him."
Feeling bruised I said simply, "Give me a reason."
Despite the fact that Catherine and Clayton were watching us from across the room, he stepped even closer and leaned down to whisper in my ear. "Doughnuts."
Startled, I pulled back to look at him.
"So, you're pulling out the big guns?" I asked. When we'd worked together he would bring me doughnuts when he was trying to get back on my good side after a confrontation. But it was a tactic he saved only for the most important groveling. I felt the earth shift back to more solid ground.
He seemed very pleased with himself as he waited for my answer.
"Jelly?" I asked through narrowed eyes.
He pretended to consider for a moment then said smugly, "That could be arranged. I might even throw in a cinnamon twist or two."
"You never did fight fair." I said in defeat. There had never been any question that I would give in. "I like the lemon filled."
"I know what you like, Mac." In a voice that should have been confined to the bedroom he added, "And wear those red pajamas."
I put some distance between us. "You mean the ones with little pink pigs on them?"
He grinned from ear to ear. "Those are pigs? I thought they were bunny rabbits."
I started walking back to the table where Catherine and Clayton waited, and Harm trailed behind me "Oh, and Harm, just so you know, I never planned to go home with him."
Oddly enough, I didn't see triumph in his eyes, only relief.
** I sat on one end of my couch. Harm sat on the other. I'd changed into my piggy pajamas when I got home. He had removed his dark suit jacket and tie, loosened his collar and rolled up the sleeves of his white dress shirt. My bare feet rested in his lap, and a large box of assorted doughnuts sat on the coffee table in front of us.
"Were you even going to let me know you were home?"
"Not if I could help it. I've been trying to stay away, but if it makes you feel any better, a few nights ago I sat outside your apartment for about an hour before I managed to make myself drive home."
I shook my head sympathetically. "I would've never known a thing if you hadn't agreed to let Catherine show you off in public."
"Or if you hadn't agreed to be Webb's latest arm decoration."
I took a bite of my lemon filled doughnut and remarked casually, "So- Catherine is a blonde-that's good. You like blondes."
He shrugged and stroked the arch of my foot. "Blondes contrast nicely with my dark, good looks. Webb is certainly infatuated with you," he noted nonchalantly.
"It's flattering to be wanted." I shivered as his hand moved inside my pajama leg to stroke my calf.
"I want you." His eyes were dark and deadly serious.
"Well, he's needed a little help with his convalescence." I rubbed my foot against the inside of his leg
His voice was soft and low as he murmured, "I need you."
Disconcerted, I tried to change the subject. "I overheard Bud telling Sturgis about your 'marriage' to Ms. Gale. He was almost beside himself when he described that moment when you kissed the bride."
"You kissed Webb." He countered automatically.
"I love it when we keep score." I sighed and then closed my eyes and concentrated on the hand that was wandering in the direction of my thigh.
"Come here, Mac. You have some jelly on your mouth." He grabbed both of my legs just behind my knees and pulled me toward him.
"Besides," I explained patiently, "I thought Webb was dying."
I offered no resistance as he maneuvered me until I was straddling his lap.
"I thought her mother was dying, too."
He studied my mouth, and with his thumb dabbed at one corner. Then he rubbed it across my lower lip and stole a quick kiss. "Sweet," he whispered before taking my mouth completely.
I wrapped myself around him, dropping my uneaten doughnut onto the sofa, not caring that it got squashed somewhere beneath us as he pushed me back into the cushions. His body covered mine and I welcomed the sheer weight of him-the reality of having his body close to mine. He kissed me like he'd missed me. He kissed me like he never wanted to leave me-and suddenly I knew that this visit was about saying goodbye. Again.
I grabbed his face and pulled away, looking at him sadly. "You're about to go away again, aren't you?"
"Yes, and this time I really can't be in touch until it's over. I am going undercover and Catherine will be my only contact."
"Does this have something to do with that lawyer in Maryland?" I suddenly realized that he would still be in the area.
"Yes, and that is all I am going to say." He had shifted so that we were lying side by side facing each other on the couch.
"Is it dangerous?" I echoed the question he had asked me long ago.
"Very." He answered honestly knowing I wouldn't have believed him even if he had denied it.
I sat up as an idea began to take place in my head. "Harm, why don't you go to the Admiral and request my help on this?"
"Because I don't want to give him a reason to break my nose. That's why." He sat up beside me and pushed himself off the couch.
"Why is this any different than all of the other times Webb borrowed one of us?" The more I thought about it the better this idea sounded.
Harm didn't seem to agree. He paced around and tried to poke holes in my plan. "Well for one thing the plan is already in place. And for another thing I don't think the Admiral is too happy with me for leaving him short handed. He certainly wouldn't appreciate it if I waltzed into his office and asked to borrow you too."
"I was on this investigation before you were, Harm, so it makes sense to let me help. Besides you need someone to watch your six. What kind of mission planning is that anyway? You need someone on the inside with you."
"Forget it, Mac. I know you feel like you are being left on the sidelines, and I love you for wanting to be there to back me up. But it's not going to happen this time."
I could tell that I was getting nowhere with him, so I decided to back down. "I'm sorry, Harm. I'm worried about you and I just got carried away." He looked suspicious. He knew it wasn't like me to give up so easily, but I grabbed his hand and pulled him back down beside me. "Don't you want to show me how much you're going to miss me while you're gone?" Then I kissed him and talking didn't seem important anymore.
"I want to hold you while you fall asleep," he whispered later as we tried to bank our desire for each other. Despite my best efforts he was still stubbornly refusing to make love to me until all of this was over.
"I don't want to close my eyes while you're still here." I murmured into his chest even as I stifled a yawn.
He stood and scooped me into his arms, carrying me into the bedroom. "C'mon Sleepyhead. Let me tuck you in."
I helped pull back the covers and snuggled into my bed wrapped in his arms. As I drifted off to sleep I made a mental note to call Webb and then the Admiral first thing the next morning.
To be continued--
I pushed myself away from him and stood up. "I am going to assume that you don't actually plan to kill anyone."
"Ask me again tomorrow. Right now I could kill him with my bare hands."
"And this lawyer has something to do with what happened in Paraguay?" I walked over to the sofa and sat down. My disappointment was barely manageable and I wrapped my arms around my middle.
"Listen, Mac, I've already said too much." He stood also and started pacing in front of the couch.
"And so now you'll just disappear again to pursue your newest obsession." I tried to keep the bitterness from my voice.
"I'm just doing my job."
"Avenging this woman's death is not part of your job, Harm."
"No, it's my job to follow the leads wherever they take me. But let me make one thing clear. I only have one obsession these days."
"What's that?" I asked wearily.
"You." His voice was hushed.
My eyes flew to his, and his low, dark voice washed over me, saying the words I'd only heard in my dreams.
"When I resigned my commission and went to Paraguay, it was about you. When I accepted this deal with the CIA it was about you. And when this job is finished it will still be about you."
I could barely breathe. "I'm right here."
"And this time I'm the one with one foot out the door." He sat down beside me on the sofa and turned his body so that he was facing me. "I'm in no position to ask you to wait for me, Mac. So I won't. I want you to get on with your life while I'm trying to straighten out mine. But I am also telling you right now that when this job is finished-and I don't care if it takes weeks or months or years-when all of this is finished, I'm coming back for you."
"I'm not going anywhere, Harm."
"Well, I won't hold you to that, Mac. I know you have some unfinished business with Webb."
I tried to protest but he stopped me before I could say anything. "You don't need to explain. I understand how he feels about you. I'm just warning you that even if I come back and find out that you have become the new Mrs. Clayton Webb, it won't stop me."
"When did you turn into such a caveman?" I smiled at the absurdity of it.
Smiling he shrugged. "I tried the noble approach with Lowne and Brumby. It didn't get me very far." He stood up and pulled me to my feet. "Walk me to the door."
"You're leaving?" I didn't want him to go.
"I think I should." He sounded determined.
"I have a better idea." I started dragging him toward the bedroom. "You need some sleep."
"If we go back into the bedroom it won't be to sleep." He stopped short and hauled me up against him.
"I was hoping you'd say that." But I saw the regret in his eyes even before he spoke.
"Mac, we can't. Not now. Not like this. It wouldn't be fair to you."
"I thought you were going to give up on the noble approach." I tried not to pout, but couldn't keep from turning my face away when he tried to kiss me.
He chased my mouth with his and whispered softly, "Kiss me, Mac."
I had no will to resist. I turned my mouth back to his, seeking his gentleness. Instead I was met by savage intent. It was a kiss full of want and need and the loneliness we were both certain to endure in the coming weeks. He ended the kiss reluctantly and I tried not to cling as he walked out the door and disappeared from my life once more.
I floated through the next few days, replaying Harm's words in my head. I was optimistic that he would be home soon, and we would finally have a chance to explore this thing between us. At least we both seemed to want the same thing at the same time for a change. But days turned into weeks and nothing happened. He called a couple of times, but couldn't really share what he was doing, so I would tell him about my days at JAG. My court cases, Harriet's pregnancy, Sturgis and Bud facing off against each other. He seemed comforted by the familiar news. Another night he called and we barely spoke. Like an adolescent I was content to listen to him breathe. Breaking the connection had been painful, and like an adolescent I was certain I could die of heartache.
I finally started badgering Webb for information. We'd stayed close while he recovered from his injuries. I'd made it clear that friendship was all he could expect, and he had accepted that easily enough. If he still had feelings for me he never mentioned them, and I think we both felt relieved to find ourselves back in a more comfortable place with each other. So we had fallen into a habit of spending time together at least one night a week after work. I was lonely, and he hadn't gotten back into the swing of his old social life yet. He was working again, though only part time. The background work he had done in Paraguay had been extensive and the contacts he had established had proven invaluable to the ongoing investigations, so his superiors had rewarded him by allowing him to return to work at Langley. He wasn't overseeing anything anymore, but Catherine Gale kept him up to date and consulted with him from time to time.
I never told him about Harm's visits, but Webb was a pretty smart guy. If he thought Harm was oblivious than he certainly found me to be nothing if not obvious. He had always been able to see how I felt about the man, so he wasn't surprised that I was worried about Harm's new job. He also knew that he owed Harm his life, so keeping his ex partner from dissolving into hysteria with bits of news occasionally was a small price to pay.
Almost six weeks after Harm had walked out of my door, Clayton called on a Friday afternoon and told me to meet him at Dusty's. I was familiar with the place. Dusty's was an upscale restaurant and bar that catered to the upwardly mobile career crowd. It was full of slate table tops, cast iron chairs and strategically placed uplights that gave the place a warm glow. The food was unassuming and on a Friday night the drinks were half priced, so the crowd was already happy by the time I arrived and looked around for Webb. He was waiting for me outside near the entrance and threw his arm around me and led me inside.
We were walking to our table when I saw him. He was standing near the bar, and he was laughing. His hand rested at the small of a woman's back. She was blonde, and I hated her on sight. When she turned I recognized Catherine Gale. She was looking up at him, flirting, laughing in return.
Harm had come home, but instead of coming to see me he was here with her. Clayton pulled out my chair, so I blindly sat down and asked, "Did you know he would be here?"
He didn't ask who I meant, but did seem surprised by my tone of voice. "I thought you would be happy to see him. Do you want to leave?"
Before I could answer, Catherine spotted us and waved. She started toward our table pulling a shocked looking Harm along with her.
"Webb! I'd heard that some woman was managing to get you back into circulation, but I didn't know it was Sarah McKenzie. Nice to see you again, Colonel." She stuck out her hand so I was forced to take it.
Webb stood at her approach. "Hello Catherine. Yes, Sarah is just what the doctor ordered. I don't know what I would have done without her."
She still held Harm's arm and turned to him. "Isn't this a nice surprise?"
"Hi, Mac." He looked uncomfortable.
"Harm." I managed a weak smile that didn't go unnoticed by Ms. Gale. I tried to cover my reaction by cheerfully inviting them to join us.
Harm said hello to Clayton and shook his hand before pulling out Catherine's chair. He sat down in the chair adjacent to me allowing his knee to brush against mine. I moved away from the contact and asked Catherine brightly, "Well, how's your newest recruit doing?"
She grabbed his hand off the table and said sweetly while staring at him adoringly, "Well, I don't want to embarrass him, but I think he could be good at anything he tried. I know I have learned a lot by listening to the way he thinks a problem through. I have found it fascinating. But you must know all of that. You are so lucky to have worked with him for all those years. I really envy you."
She certainly was touchy feely for a CIA lawyer. I couldn't stop staring at their joined hands. I had an overpowering urge to stab them both with my fork.
Harm pulled his hand away from hers and changed the subject. "So Mac, how are things at JAG?"
"You know how it is, Harm. Just the same old, dull military cases, week after week. We have tried our best to carry on without you, though. You really should stop by and see everyone if you are going to be in town for a while. I know they all miss you."
I must have sounded sarcastic because Clayton reached over and rubbed my forearm soothingly and then asked the question that I had been dying to ask since I first spotted him across the room. "So, when did you get back into town, Harm?"
He glanced at Webb's hand resting on my arm then answered bravely, "About a week ago, I guess."
About a week ago! It was worse than I thought. He had been home for a week and hadn't even called. I needed to escape so I stood up and asked to be excused.
I practically ran to the ladies room. I washed my face and force myself to take some deep breaths. There had to be a good reason if he hadn't called or come to see me. How could he not come to see me? I wouldn't jump to any conclusions until after I talked to him. Then I would kill him. There had to be a simple explanation and I couldn't hide in the restroom all night. I plastered a smile on my face and marched out to rejoin them.
He was waiting for me at the bar when I came out of the ladies room.
"Don't go home with him," He grabbed my arm as I started to walk past him. "We need to talk."
"Harm, your date is watching us. You might want to let go of me."
"She's not my date."
"Oh, really? Did you tell her that?"
"Mac, she is not my date." He released my arm as he repeated his earlier denial.
"Then what is she?"
"She's just my partner."
Those words ripped into me with a force I wasn't prepared for. I was supposed to be his partner. I was Sundance to his Butch, Robin to his Batman. That was just the way it was supposed to be. I almost wished she was his date. I conjured up an excuse for a smile and said, "It doesn't look like you had any trouble breaking in a new one."
He realized what he'd said and apology, frustration and stubbornness were all evident on his face. He stepped closer to me and reached for my hand. "Mac, I hate this. Please don't go home with him."
Feeling bruised I said simply, "Give me a reason."
Despite the fact that Catherine and Clayton were watching us from across the room, he stepped even closer and leaned down to whisper in my ear. "Doughnuts."
Startled, I pulled back to look at him.
"So, you're pulling out the big guns?" I asked. When we'd worked together he would bring me doughnuts when he was trying to get back on my good side after a confrontation. But it was a tactic he saved only for the most important groveling. I felt the earth shift back to more solid ground.
He seemed very pleased with himself as he waited for my answer.
"Jelly?" I asked through narrowed eyes.
He pretended to consider for a moment then said smugly, "That could be arranged. I might even throw in a cinnamon twist or two."
"You never did fight fair." I said in defeat. There had never been any question that I would give in. "I like the lemon filled."
"I know what you like, Mac." In a voice that should have been confined to the bedroom he added, "And wear those red pajamas."
I put some distance between us. "You mean the ones with little pink pigs on them?"
He grinned from ear to ear. "Those are pigs? I thought they were bunny rabbits."
I started walking back to the table where Catherine and Clayton waited, and Harm trailed behind me "Oh, and Harm, just so you know, I never planned to go home with him."
Oddly enough, I didn't see triumph in his eyes, only relief.
** I sat on one end of my couch. Harm sat on the other. I'd changed into my piggy pajamas when I got home. He had removed his dark suit jacket and tie, loosened his collar and rolled up the sleeves of his white dress shirt. My bare feet rested in his lap, and a large box of assorted doughnuts sat on the coffee table in front of us.
"Were you even going to let me know you were home?"
"Not if I could help it. I've been trying to stay away, but if it makes you feel any better, a few nights ago I sat outside your apartment for about an hour before I managed to make myself drive home."
I shook my head sympathetically. "I would've never known a thing if you hadn't agreed to let Catherine show you off in public."
"Or if you hadn't agreed to be Webb's latest arm decoration."
I took a bite of my lemon filled doughnut and remarked casually, "So- Catherine is a blonde-that's good. You like blondes."
He shrugged and stroked the arch of my foot. "Blondes contrast nicely with my dark, good looks. Webb is certainly infatuated with you," he noted nonchalantly.
"It's flattering to be wanted." I shivered as his hand moved inside my pajama leg to stroke my calf.
"I want you." His eyes were dark and deadly serious.
"Well, he's needed a little help with his convalescence." I rubbed my foot against the inside of his leg
His voice was soft and low as he murmured, "I need you."
Disconcerted, I tried to change the subject. "I overheard Bud telling Sturgis about your 'marriage' to Ms. Gale. He was almost beside himself when he described that moment when you kissed the bride."
"You kissed Webb." He countered automatically.
"I love it when we keep score." I sighed and then closed my eyes and concentrated on the hand that was wandering in the direction of my thigh.
"Come here, Mac. You have some jelly on your mouth." He grabbed both of my legs just behind my knees and pulled me toward him.
"Besides," I explained patiently, "I thought Webb was dying."
I offered no resistance as he maneuvered me until I was straddling his lap.
"I thought her mother was dying, too."
He studied my mouth, and with his thumb dabbed at one corner. Then he rubbed it across my lower lip and stole a quick kiss. "Sweet," he whispered before taking my mouth completely.
I wrapped myself around him, dropping my uneaten doughnut onto the sofa, not caring that it got squashed somewhere beneath us as he pushed me back into the cushions. His body covered mine and I welcomed the sheer weight of him-the reality of having his body close to mine. He kissed me like he'd missed me. He kissed me like he never wanted to leave me-and suddenly I knew that this visit was about saying goodbye. Again.
I grabbed his face and pulled away, looking at him sadly. "You're about to go away again, aren't you?"
"Yes, and this time I really can't be in touch until it's over. I am going undercover and Catherine will be my only contact."
"Does this have something to do with that lawyer in Maryland?" I suddenly realized that he would still be in the area.
"Yes, and that is all I am going to say." He had shifted so that we were lying side by side facing each other on the couch.
"Is it dangerous?" I echoed the question he had asked me long ago.
"Very." He answered honestly knowing I wouldn't have believed him even if he had denied it.
I sat up as an idea began to take place in my head. "Harm, why don't you go to the Admiral and request my help on this?"
"Because I don't want to give him a reason to break my nose. That's why." He sat up beside me and pushed himself off the couch.
"Why is this any different than all of the other times Webb borrowed one of us?" The more I thought about it the better this idea sounded.
Harm didn't seem to agree. He paced around and tried to poke holes in my plan. "Well for one thing the plan is already in place. And for another thing I don't think the Admiral is too happy with me for leaving him short handed. He certainly wouldn't appreciate it if I waltzed into his office and asked to borrow you too."
"I was on this investigation before you were, Harm, so it makes sense to let me help. Besides you need someone to watch your six. What kind of mission planning is that anyway? You need someone on the inside with you."
"Forget it, Mac. I know you feel like you are being left on the sidelines, and I love you for wanting to be there to back me up. But it's not going to happen this time."
I could tell that I was getting nowhere with him, so I decided to back down. "I'm sorry, Harm. I'm worried about you and I just got carried away." He looked suspicious. He knew it wasn't like me to give up so easily, but I grabbed his hand and pulled him back down beside me. "Don't you want to show me how much you're going to miss me while you're gone?" Then I kissed him and talking didn't seem important anymore.
"I want to hold you while you fall asleep," he whispered later as we tried to bank our desire for each other. Despite my best efforts he was still stubbornly refusing to make love to me until all of this was over.
"I don't want to close my eyes while you're still here." I murmured into his chest even as I stifled a yawn.
He stood and scooped me into his arms, carrying me into the bedroom. "C'mon Sleepyhead. Let me tuck you in."
I helped pull back the covers and snuggled into my bed wrapped in his arms. As I drifted off to sleep I made a mental note to call Webb and then the Admiral first thing the next morning.
To be continued--