Disclaimer: Well, I'm not feeling up to anything creative-wise in the
disclaimer section. I own nothing Buffy the Vampire Slayer related. Joss
Whedon does. And I don't own A Midsummer Night's Dream. William Shakespeare
does. Or would, if he were alive today, or if his family has publishing
rights. Oh, and I don't own anything relating to the movie version.
Everything I own is crappy/ lame. No need to feel sorry, because my life
is terrible.
*
Rating: PG-13- Naughtiness by the Bard
* Summary: 100% AU! Magic? Mistaken identity? Fairies? True love? And . . . donkey lovin'? BTVS meets Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream! * Author's Notes: Yes, I am alive. I am so sorry that I haven't updated in, like, forever. But, with enough poking and prodding from certain people, I post again. I'm not going to be a prick, and post this chapter, and then wait another few months before I get to it again. This story will be finished before Christmas. Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and that you don't pelt me with various pieces of rotten fruit because I am a bad person. That's what I have my real-world friends to do. If you don't hate me, please read and review. I promise you'll like it. * PS: Happy now, Imzadi? I love you, darling. * * * * *
*
Chapter Eleven- Lord, What Fools These Mortals Be!
Royally bored, King Xander chucked a rock into the pond. He had been waiting hours (technically, a half-hour) to hear from Willow and find out if their schemes had gone well. Although he was shaking with anticipation to find out what Queen Cordelia had gone and fallen in love with, he knew that he had to wait it out, and hear from his elf.
Throwing two more rocks into the large pond, watching the ripples of the water grow in the moonlight. For someone as wise as him, who had existed since the beginning of time, and who had seen all of the greatest events of history and nature occur, he always took pleasure in those simple, beautiful, things.
Yeah, he was bored out of his mind.
Suddenly, he could hear someone approach. They were singing, and it sounded like some obscure tune from the 1970's that always brought joy to the hearts of the mortals.
It was his faithful, if sometimes off-key, Willow.
"So, how'd it go?" asked the king before Willow had a chance to relax.
He could be, at times, a complete asshole. And she had no intention of treating him like the child he was acting like. "How'd what go?"
"Did the charms work?"
Sighing, Willow shrugged her shoulders, and took a seat on one of the large rocks, looking over the dark waters.
"Willow?"
Although he spoke lighter, she could still hear that demanding undertone. Holding up her hand, she began to examine her cuticles, and ignored King Xander when he sat next to her.
"Willow," he pleaded, "Would you be the bestest elf in the world and tell me if the spell worked on the Queen? Please, please, please please-"
"FINE!" she cut in before the fifth "please". "The poppy juice worked. She's under its power."
"And what did she fall in love with?"
Grinning wildly, Willow leaned over and whispered into her King's ear. Once she was done, she pulled away to see his reaction.
At first, his face was stone, figuring out what this meant. Ever so slightly, a small smile peaked out on the corners of his mouth.
"Seriously?"
Willow only grinned.
King Xander stood up and walked closer to the edge of the lake, his hands clasped behind his back. For a moment, he stared at the water.
"This is . . ." he began, turning back to Willow, "Way better than I could have hoped for."
Both laughed heartily, although Willow's may have been less joyful.
"So," the King continued, "What about that mortal guy."
His question was answered by two voices screaming at each other, both of them heading in the direction of King Xander and the elf.
"Angel!" screamed the more feminine of the voices, and a young blonde woman emerged from the brush. "Tell me what you did with Spike!"
"Oh, because that would make it easier for you, wouldn't it, Buffy?" The other one belonged to a tall brunette man, the mortal King Xander wanted cursed.
"Willow," King Xander whispered, "Isn't that the guy I asked you to take care of?"
"No, that's the girl, but I have no idea who that guy is . . . "
Willow could see the words exit her mouth, every single letter shinning in the moonlight, and as the came out, she only wished she could pull them back in.
*Oh, shit!*
The girl came to stop at the water's edge. She was wrapping a black leather coat around her body, trying to shield her skin from the cooler night air. Angel, the man she had been yelling at, followed her.
"Alright, Angel, I'm not going to ask why you're here, or how the hell you knew where to find me." Buffy, the girl, began to cry, tiny tears trickling down her cheeks. "I just want to know where Spike is."
Laughing, Angel sat down on the large rock, mere inches away from the now- invisible immortals.
"He probably ditched you."
Buffy, fire glinting in her teary eyes, stormed over to him, and grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him up to her.
"Did you hurt him?"
"What?"
She laughed bitterly. "Don't play these stupid games with me! I'm not the child you and Daddy think I am!"
Angel shrugged her away, his eyes watching her every move as she backed away.
"Could've fooled me. All I see is a scared little girl who doesn't know what's going on."
That fire in Buffy's eyes turned to ice, and she looked nothing like the sweet, funny girl he had known in high school. This young woman, dress wrinkled, hair mussed with little bits of grass clinging to it, seemed capable of something dangerous.
"You're not stupid, although you can dress like it sometimes," she said with a sneer, glaring at the outfit, which was an exact copy of her father's. "If all goes according to Daddy's plan, we'll be married before New Year's. I'll try as hard as I can to fight it, and so will Spike. But, just let me tell you, if that apocalypse ever happens, one of us will be dead in the morning."
Flipping some of her loose hair behind her shoulder, Buffy stormed back off into the forest.
Angel stood, prepared to follow.
"STAY!" bellowed King Xander, his face turning purple.
The young man's movements froze, his whole body turning to stone at the King's magical command.
Her eyes wide, Willow tried to sink back into the rock.
"What just happened here?" asked the King, turning to glare at Willow.
Willow uncomfortably smiled, knowing she was in deep trouble.
"Sorry," she muttered through her clenched teeth.
Standing, King Xander began to circle the young man, studying him carefully.
"Do I ask for a lot?" he asked.
"This isn't a trick question?"
King Xander only stared at her.
"Kinda."
"I-" he faltered, replaying her response in his head. "That's not funny."
Groaning, King Xander once again took his seat next to Willow.
"The human couple. I said, 'Look for the only humans in the forest.' That wasn't that hard of a command."
Outraged, Willow leapt up.
"Yeah, like that's not vague. That's about as helpful as asking me to find . . . well, something really common, I don't have a good example."
Standing up as well, King Xander began to rub the sides of his forehead. "Just go bring that girl back. But first, try to find the other guy and girl. We have to fix this up."
Willow rolled her eyes, yet she shot off as quickly as she could.
Once the redhead left, King Xander took the immobilizing spell off Angel. The mortal shook his head, unsure of what happened.
"Sleep," whispered the King in Angel's ear. Suddenly, the human's eyes felt droopy, and the only way he could relieve it was to collapse on the shore. He was asleep before his head hit the sand.
A few poppies remained with King Xander, tucked away safely in his belt. He removed one of the prettier ones, and dropped a bit of the juice on Angel's closed eyelids.
As soon as he had finished the deed, he heard Willow calling back to him.
"Here they come! I'm going to go find that Bunny-girl, and I'll bring her back!"
One screaming female, the one King Xander had taken pity on, and the guy who had been accidentally charmed by Willow, came crashing out of the forest, both yelling at the top of their lungs.
"Great," moaned the King, "This is going to be a great night."
*
Rating: PG-13- Naughtiness by the Bard
* Summary: 100% AU! Magic? Mistaken identity? Fairies? True love? And . . . donkey lovin'? BTVS meets Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream! * Author's Notes: Yes, I am alive. I am so sorry that I haven't updated in, like, forever. But, with enough poking and prodding from certain people, I post again. I'm not going to be a prick, and post this chapter, and then wait another few months before I get to it again. This story will be finished before Christmas. Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and that you don't pelt me with various pieces of rotten fruit because I am a bad person. That's what I have my real-world friends to do. If you don't hate me, please read and review. I promise you'll like it. * PS: Happy now, Imzadi? I love you, darling. * * * * *
*
Chapter Eleven- Lord, What Fools These Mortals Be!
Royally bored, King Xander chucked a rock into the pond. He had been waiting hours (technically, a half-hour) to hear from Willow and find out if their schemes had gone well. Although he was shaking with anticipation to find out what Queen Cordelia had gone and fallen in love with, he knew that he had to wait it out, and hear from his elf.
Throwing two more rocks into the large pond, watching the ripples of the water grow in the moonlight. For someone as wise as him, who had existed since the beginning of time, and who had seen all of the greatest events of history and nature occur, he always took pleasure in those simple, beautiful, things.
Yeah, he was bored out of his mind.
Suddenly, he could hear someone approach. They were singing, and it sounded like some obscure tune from the 1970's that always brought joy to the hearts of the mortals.
It was his faithful, if sometimes off-key, Willow.
"So, how'd it go?" asked the king before Willow had a chance to relax.
He could be, at times, a complete asshole. And she had no intention of treating him like the child he was acting like. "How'd what go?"
"Did the charms work?"
Sighing, Willow shrugged her shoulders, and took a seat on one of the large rocks, looking over the dark waters.
"Willow?"
Although he spoke lighter, she could still hear that demanding undertone. Holding up her hand, she began to examine her cuticles, and ignored King Xander when he sat next to her.
"Willow," he pleaded, "Would you be the bestest elf in the world and tell me if the spell worked on the Queen? Please, please, please please-"
"FINE!" she cut in before the fifth "please". "The poppy juice worked. She's under its power."
"And what did she fall in love with?"
Grinning wildly, Willow leaned over and whispered into her King's ear. Once she was done, she pulled away to see his reaction.
At first, his face was stone, figuring out what this meant. Ever so slightly, a small smile peaked out on the corners of his mouth.
"Seriously?"
Willow only grinned.
King Xander stood up and walked closer to the edge of the lake, his hands clasped behind his back. For a moment, he stared at the water.
"This is . . ." he began, turning back to Willow, "Way better than I could have hoped for."
Both laughed heartily, although Willow's may have been less joyful.
"So," the King continued, "What about that mortal guy."
His question was answered by two voices screaming at each other, both of them heading in the direction of King Xander and the elf.
"Angel!" screamed the more feminine of the voices, and a young blonde woman emerged from the brush. "Tell me what you did with Spike!"
"Oh, because that would make it easier for you, wouldn't it, Buffy?" The other one belonged to a tall brunette man, the mortal King Xander wanted cursed.
"Willow," King Xander whispered, "Isn't that the guy I asked you to take care of?"
"No, that's the girl, but I have no idea who that guy is . . . "
Willow could see the words exit her mouth, every single letter shinning in the moonlight, and as the came out, she only wished she could pull them back in.
*Oh, shit!*
The girl came to stop at the water's edge. She was wrapping a black leather coat around her body, trying to shield her skin from the cooler night air. Angel, the man she had been yelling at, followed her.
"Alright, Angel, I'm not going to ask why you're here, or how the hell you knew where to find me." Buffy, the girl, began to cry, tiny tears trickling down her cheeks. "I just want to know where Spike is."
Laughing, Angel sat down on the large rock, mere inches away from the now- invisible immortals.
"He probably ditched you."
Buffy, fire glinting in her teary eyes, stormed over to him, and grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him up to her.
"Did you hurt him?"
"What?"
She laughed bitterly. "Don't play these stupid games with me! I'm not the child you and Daddy think I am!"
Angel shrugged her away, his eyes watching her every move as she backed away.
"Could've fooled me. All I see is a scared little girl who doesn't know what's going on."
That fire in Buffy's eyes turned to ice, and she looked nothing like the sweet, funny girl he had known in high school. This young woman, dress wrinkled, hair mussed with little bits of grass clinging to it, seemed capable of something dangerous.
"You're not stupid, although you can dress like it sometimes," she said with a sneer, glaring at the outfit, which was an exact copy of her father's. "If all goes according to Daddy's plan, we'll be married before New Year's. I'll try as hard as I can to fight it, and so will Spike. But, just let me tell you, if that apocalypse ever happens, one of us will be dead in the morning."
Flipping some of her loose hair behind her shoulder, Buffy stormed back off into the forest.
Angel stood, prepared to follow.
"STAY!" bellowed King Xander, his face turning purple.
The young man's movements froze, his whole body turning to stone at the King's magical command.
Her eyes wide, Willow tried to sink back into the rock.
"What just happened here?" asked the King, turning to glare at Willow.
Willow uncomfortably smiled, knowing she was in deep trouble.
"Sorry," she muttered through her clenched teeth.
Standing, King Xander began to circle the young man, studying him carefully.
"Do I ask for a lot?" he asked.
"This isn't a trick question?"
King Xander only stared at her.
"Kinda."
"I-" he faltered, replaying her response in his head. "That's not funny."
Groaning, King Xander once again took his seat next to Willow.
"The human couple. I said, 'Look for the only humans in the forest.' That wasn't that hard of a command."
Outraged, Willow leapt up.
"Yeah, like that's not vague. That's about as helpful as asking me to find . . . well, something really common, I don't have a good example."
Standing up as well, King Xander began to rub the sides of his forehead. "Just go bring that girl back. But first, try to find the other guy and girl. We have to fix this up."
Willow rolled her eyes, yet she shot off as quickly as she could.
Once the redhead left, King Xander took the immobilizing spell off Angel. The mortal shook his head, unsure of what happened.
"Sleep," whispered the King in Angel's ear. Suddenly, the human's eyes felt droopy, and the only way he could relieve it was to collapse on the shore. He was asleep before his head hit the sand.
A few poppies remained with King Xander, tucked away safely in his belt. He removed one of the prettier ones, and dropped a bit of the juice on Angel's closed eyelids.
As soon as he had finished the deed, he heard Willow calling back to him.
"Here they come! I'm going to go find that Bunny-girl, and I'll bring her back!"
One screaming female, the one King Xander had taken pity on, and the guy who had been accidentally charmed by Willow, came crashing out of the forest, both yelling at the top of their lungs.
"Great," moaned the King, "This is going to be a great night."