Thanks to the following kind people: CarpeNoctem17, Wildwolf, Lizzy (plenty more chapters yet!), Vela-chan, Bunny, Gwen Potter, LadyWillow (please don't worship me- just review!), Pooki Ze Great (my longest review yet- Well done!), Suga Hi (Cheers!), Lady Sundig, Demus, Jasini, Uozumi, Give the World for Mr. Black (great pen name…), Rachel Molko (triple love and hugs for reviewing!), The Demonic Duo, nekohebi, freakyfairy, Louis, Gypsy Lupin-Black, Wicked Chic, WeaselGirl, Yukerei, aims80, Mishi, RainbowCarnage, Silmarien (I hope the delay hasn't caused too much pain!), QueenSmithy, Spooky, Erfaciel, Icewing and Cecil.
A special mention to SkullyCat Marie who has bought a dangling silver star earring like the one Remus has. I love that!
Authors note: I've been away on an engineering course for six days and for a while before that I couldn't get access to fanfiction.net. So that accounts for the delay with this chapter. Secondly, I'm going to Spain for ten days tomorrow and I wont have any computer access. Sorry! After that the chapters will come thick and fast- I promise. The thing about Remus' silver earring will be explained later in the story.
~Remus' POV, Thursday 25th September~
I wake up on my bed with the curtains closed around it. I'm wearing the same clothes as yesterday and it takes me a second to realise why the curtains are closed as I'm scared of the dark and usually need to see the magic glow light that Sirius and I share. I seem to be curled up in a position that suggests that somebody has been curled around me. Sirius. I feel a glow of warmth inside me when I remember last night. How we kissed tentatively at first and then more passionately, and all the time the glitter rained down. I remember how it felt to be able to hold him and not pretend that we are just friends. I also remember how Sirius stopped my ever-roaming hands and told me that he wanted to take it slowly, how he wanted our relationship to be special and not a meaningless fling and that he would love it if I would let him hold me. I must have fallen asleep quickly encased in his strong arms.
I also wonder where Sirius is as right now. I've always had a desire to wake up in somebody's arms and I'm disappointed that I can't be in Sirius' this minute. So feeling incredibly happy and slightly lonely I climb out of bed and change into some clean clothes. When I pull the curtains back form round my bed I find James and Peter are playing wizards' chess, and I realise that Peter doesn't know that Sirius and I are gay, and so Sirius couldn't be seen to be getting out of my bed this morning.
"Hello," I say, grinning at my two friends. I just can't stop smiling!
"Did you sleep well?" asks James with a glance at Sirius' bed. I get the feeling that there is a hidden meaning behind his words.
"We did, thank you," I say and then bite my tongue. We! I said 'we' slept well! I am such an idiot.
James realises my slip-up and smiled broadly. "That's great! Bloody brilliant!" he exclaims while Peter looks on, puzzled. James has guessed what happened between Sirius and myself, and he looks genuinely happy. My grin broadens even more.
"What time is it?" I ask Peter who is wearing a watch.
"Ten O'clock," he says, squinting at the chessboard before ordering a knight to tackle one of James' pawns.
"TEN O'CLOCK! We should have started lessons an hour ago," I cry.
James and Peter exchange a glance. "Didn't you know, mate? It's the 25th September," says James. I look at him blankly. "It's the Ministry of Magic Founding Day. A national wizarding holiday!"
Fabulous. Perfect. A whole day off school with Sirius! I love the people who founded the Ministry of Magic on this date!
"I'm going to be at quidditch practice all day, Moony, and Peter's my assistant. I guess you and Sirius will have to find something to do together…" says James with a wicked smile. He turns to Peter. "Duelling club was quite a-"
I never got to find out exactly what duelling club was because at that moment a bout of very loud singing erupted form the shower attached to our dormitory. The voice is strong and tuneful but slightly out of timing and I immediately know it belongs to Sirius. I recognise the tune as being 'You're all I'll ever need' by the 'Magic Mushrooms':
"-I've known you for years
And just been your friend,
Through good times and bad,
My love didn't end.
It didn't end-
You're all I've ever wanted,
You're all I'll ever need.
You take away the pain now,
You're all I'll ever need.
And baby, you're my hero,
You're all I'll ever need.
You're all I'll ever need.
All I'll ever need.
The singing stops, Peter looks at James who shrugs. "He doesn't usually sing in the shower," muses Peter before glancing at the chessboard to discover that James has just won the game. "Damn! You've beaten me again!" he moans.
"Let's go to breakfast, Pete, and then straight to quidditch. We've got a lot of work to be getting on with."
I watch James and Peter go, and wait for Sirius to come out of the shower. I make a mental note to thank James for cheating at chess so he could win and get Peter out of our way- it certainly makes everything a lot easier. Sirius appears through the door to the small bathroom. He's only wearing a white towel wrapped round his waist and his shoulder length inky hair hangs wet and wavy. When he sees me he stops and takes a deep breath.
"Good morning," he says.
"Nice singing," I reply with a cautious smile.
We stare at each other. I'm feeling a strong sense of longing seeing Sirius in that towel and consider saying I don't care about going slowly. I want him. I want him now. But then I think about how long I want this relationship to last, and I know that taking it easy is the best thing for both of us. "I'll be in the common room," I say and prepare to let Sirius get dressed in privacy. I even walk to the door before two toned arms snake around my waist and Sirius presses me against his damp skin. "Missed me?" he whispers in my ear.
"Too much," I say truthfully. Then I turn around and kiss him firmly on the lips. His wet hair is dripping down the collar of my shirt but I don't care. I've never been kissed like this before- gently but passionately at the same time. I moan softly and shiver as one of Sirius' slender hands massages the back of my neck. "You like that?" he murmurs and continues for a second longer before pulling away.
"I have a surprise for you," he says with a happy expression on his face.
~Later~
Sirius and I are sat on the far side of the side of the lake form the castle; a few hundred yards away from the Forbidden Forest. The wind is biting cold but I'm wrapped up in several layers of clothing and have managed to get a nice magical fire burning a few yards away. Sirius has prepared a surprise picnic- God, I love him so much!
"Champagne, monsieur?" asks Sirius, in a bad French accent.
"Oui, s'il te plait," I answer and Sirius pours the pale bubbly liquid into a champagne flute. He hands it to me and I take a sip. It tastes expensive.
"It's called 'Champagne des Reves'," says Sirius. "What does that mean?"
"Champagne of dreams," I answer. Then I smile encouragingly at him. "This is lovely, Sirius."
"Ham sandwich?" asks Sirius. I take one. It really is kind of him to have gone to all this effort but I'm starting to feel a little guilty. I haven't told him I'm going to Beauxbatons yet. I know I should but I don't want to spoil the first bit of happiness I've had since I fell in love with Sirius.
Sirius is watching me closely. "I want to talk to you, Remus," he says.
"Go ahead," I reply.
"At the beginning of this year I realised that I wanted something more than the close friendship we've always shared. I knew, or thought I knew, what you were like and- this sounds stupid- I decided that the best way to get your attention would be to become more like you. I tried to be calmer, smarter, and kinder; I studied more, drank tea and even listened to classical music. And I've been wondering, Remus, if it made any difference to how you felt about me."
I stare at him incredulously. "You, you, changed, just for… You thought I, w-would like you better if you became more like me-" I stammer. He nods anxiously. "Sirius, darling," I say and leaning towards him I kiss him. "I wouldn't care if you listened to hard rock music, drank coffee, were neurotic and didn't study at all. It wouldn't have made the slightest bit of difference to how I've felt about you over the last few months."
I laugh for a moment before continuing. "Why do you think I got the earring, the coloured robes, the make up and all that glitter? Why do you think I dyed my hair red?! It wasn't because I liked glam rock. It was because I wanted you to notice me!"
Sirius has started to laugh as well. "Then I can go back to all the glam rock stuff and you can return to just being Remus," he says with a grin.
"Actually, I think I'll keep the earring. I've sort of grown attached to it…" I confess.
Sirius reaches out and knocks me playfully. I discard the ham sandwich I'm clutching and allow myself to be lowered down to the ground where a passionate Sirius Black leans over me and kisses my neck. "My dear Remus," he says before sitting up and surveying me.
"I love you," I say to him in a fleeting carefree moment. Sirius doesn't reply. I sit up in shock. My heart skips a beat as he stares at me, with his eyes wide. Who said anything about love? I've probably scared him off. I know Sirius isn't used to long-term relationships- he's probably never even thought about love before.
"You love me?" asks Sirius slowly.
"Yes," I say in a small voice and wait for Sirius to freak out.
However, Sirius starts to grin so broadly that I'd imagine his face would split in half if he smiled any wider. "I love you too, Remus Lupin," he says so earnestly that my heart melts. Then he pulls me into a huge bear hug with such force that I fall into his lap. I've never felt this happy in my entire life. Sirius loves me. HE LOVES ME!!!
Only I have to be honest with him. The only way we can possibly have a long-term relationship is if we don't keep secrets from one another. I will tell Sirius about going to Beauxbatons right now. "Sirius," I begin. I'm still sitting in his lap and his hand is resting on my hip. "When I was in France my parents gave me some news. Bad news, I'm afraid."
Sirius face creases into a frown. "Go on then," he prompts.
"Okay. There's no really easy way to say this, Sirius, so bear with me. You met my parents last year so you know how stubborn they can be. Well, they're moving to France soon and-"
"Not Beauxbatons?" whispers Sirius.
I nod.
"When are you leaving?" asks Sirius hoarsely.
"Christmas," I say.
Sirius shakes me off his lap and begins to clear away the picnic he'd prepared. "I guess we'd better pack up for the day- the weather looks bad," he says stiffly. I notice that he resolutely avoids my eyes.
"Sirius, talk to me," I plead. A silent tear is sliding down my cheek as I look at the thing I'll miss most about Hogwarts. Sirius. "Come on, Padfoot. You've always been my best friend and now you're my lover as well. I need you to help me."
At last Sirius looks at me. Tears glisten in his bright eyes. "Listen, Remus, it isn't fair that you led me to expect endless happiness and then tell me this. You're my best friend too and I meant it when I said I loved you. The trouble is I don't know if I should get any closer to you when I know that come Christmas you're going to break my heart. How am I supposed to live without you, Remus? I don't think I can."
I feel wretched. How could it be that a few minutes ago I was on cloud nine and now I feel awful- sort of empty. I'm about to get up and leave, when Sirius stops me.
"Don't walk away, Remus. Please don't leave me. I was lying to myself when I even thought I could not get close to you. We've only got three months today until Christmas and damn it, if they're not the best three months of your life, then I've failed." Sirius pulls me towards him and I nestle where I was before in his lap and bury my head in his chest. Sirius rocks me backwards and forwards for a few moments and then he nudges me out of his lap. He pours me another glass of champagne and then breaks a generous chunk off a huge slab of chocolate. This is the start of our last two months together at Hogwarts and I know both of us are intending to take each day as it comes and not think about the future.
"Do you think we should go and visit James at his precious quidditch pitch after lunch?" Sirius asks me lightly.
"I think that would be lovely," I say with a smile and down the champagne in a few long sips. "You know I'm starting to get a little chilly," I add hopefully.
Sirius laughs and invites me to snuggle up to him. "Bloody cold. I think some butterbeer is in order, don't you?" say Sirius, producing two bottles of steaming hot butterbeer.
"You are wonderful."
"I know I am," he replies with a grin.