Title: Flashbacks
Author: Anaika Skywalker
Author's Email: lindsay30@austarnet.com.au
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own JAG; I just like to spread my wings occasionally.
Author's Note: I'm not quiet sure exactly when this Chapter takes place in the JAG universe, but it would be before Harm knows about his father being in Russia. Parts of this chapter are mentioned in chapters one and seven of Gold Wings and Dress Whites.
FlashbacksChapter Two: January 1997: Starting Again
Rabb Farm
Belleville, Pennsylvania.
Her husband was dead, a training accident the inquiry had concluded. The funeral had been with full military honors, both her husbands and his RIO's. As the missing man formation had flown above them, she had looked to the sky and made a vow, from that day on she was no longer going to let her dreams die; she was going to live them. Live them as Lieutenant Christopher Riggs had lived his.
Sera didn't need to glance over her shoulder when she heard the footfalls; she knew it was Sarah Rabb, Harm's grandmother. Three days ago Grams had rang her grandson and had insisted he bring her and Corey to stay a few days on the farm before returning to Hawaii.
Sarah stood next to the young woman. "It's a beautiful morning," she observed.
"Yes Ma'am it is,"
"Sera honey, it's Grams, please,"
Sera smiled warmly. "Are Corey and Harm up yet?"
The older woman snorted. "My grandson up this early, now that would be something,"
Chuckling, Sera agreed. "Corey is a late riser too, I always have trouble getting him up in time for school."
They're much a like, Sarah silently compared the two. I wonder if Sera has ever noticed it. "Harm was the same, Trish was forever telling him to get up. It's amazing he's survived in the Navy."
"Harm wouldn't be happy if he wasn't doing what he is, though I know he misses flying full time."
"He misses you my dear," Sarah informed patting her hand. "You and Corey, he thinks of that boy like his own."
"I know," tears filled Sera's eyes. "Corey knows Harm better then he knew his father."
Slipping her arm around the younger woman as the first tears fell Sarah sympathized. "I know what you're feeling Sera, I lost my husband too."
Shaking her head, Sera wiped her tear streaked cheeks. "I don't think anyone really understands, Grams,"
"Then why don't you come inside and tell me, maybe than I will," she said gently.
Reluctantly Sera went with Sarah back into the house, in the kitchen they sat down to a cup of tea.
"Now tell me why I don't understand," the older woman said calmly.
"Chris and I had grown apart, I still loved him, but not as strong as I had. I felt deep in my heart I'd made a mistake in marrying him," Sera began. "I realized we weren't destined to be together."
Now the truth comes out, Sarah thought. She'd seen how well Sera and Harm had gotten along on their last visit, Sera friendship with her grandson was obviously so much more. "Go on,"
"I had filed out a request chit for a transfer back to the states and I filing for a divorce."
"Oh Sera."
"I had the divorce papers all filled out and ready to go when my CO came and informed me of Chris' death," her tears fell again. "I ripped them up, I felt so guilty,"
Sarah reached across the table and took her hand. "Sera, honey you didn't know what was going to happen."
"I sat there in my office stunned, I couldn't cry. I wanted to but I couldn't, all I got think of was getting to Corey. He loved his father," Sera sobbed. "And than I though of Harm, my husband had just been killed and I was thinking of another man."
"You were reacting, honey. Harm has been there for you every time you've needed him, it's natural you would think of him."
Shaking her head she wiped her cheeks and stood. "It's more than that. I couldn't love Chris any more because I was and still am in love with Harm," she revealed, and then hurried out of the kitchen.
Sarah sat back, smiling softly to herself. This was something she would keep to herself until the time was right, even though she'd known Sera was in love with her grandson from moment he'd brought her and her son to the farm the first time. Soul mates always seem to find each other. She had found her husband. Harm Senior had found Trish and now Harm and Sera had found each other. Time would tell if they acted on their feelings.
Harm walked into the lounge seeing Sera typing on her laptop, which sat on her lap. "You're up early," he noted sitting beside her.
"No, you're just up late," she smirked good heartedly.
He rolled his eyes at her. "Where's Corey?"
"In with Grams helping her make breakfast," Sera informed. She saved what she was working on and than minimized it. The wallpaper that was displayed was a photo of herself, Harm and Corey, taken when Harm had come to visit while on leave.
Harm slipped his arm around her shoulders. "Did you sleep all right?"
"Not to bad," she answered, and then grinned. "You obviously did, sleepy head."
"It's the fresh country air," he mussed.
Sera rested her head against his shoulder, becoming serious. "I don't know what I would of done without you."
"You would have managed," he reassured, and then instinctively kissed the top of her head. "I know you would have," he quickly changed the subject. "So what were you writing?"
"You're nosey," she remarked lightly.
"It's my nature,"
Chuckling, Sera reopened the program, showing him the letter she'd been working on. Moving the laptop a little so he could read it more clearly.
Harm did, it was a letter to her commanding officer, requesting a change of designator and to attend flight school. He had been expecting his, for as long as he'd known Sera, he knew she loved to fly. He'd taken her flying in his stearman a few times, letting her take the controls since she was an accomplished pilot.
"Harm," she moved the laptop off her lap and onto the coffee table, turning side on. "I want this, it's been my dream for so long. A dream I didn't act on because of my father and because of Chris, but no more. I did the curriculum for aviation at the Academy in my first two years, I can do this, I should have done this from the beginning."
"Than we would never have meet," he said solemnly, he cupped her cheek in his hand. He wanted to tell her so much, but he couldn't not yet it wasn't time. "I can sympathize though and I'll help you all I can."
"Thank you Harm," she hugged him, feeling the need to be held by him.
Sarah Rabb came into the living room, stopping sharply, smiling at the two of them. Quietly she turned and walked back into the kitchen.
Corey glanced up. "Did you tell Mum and Uncle Harm?"
"No, they need some time alone," she announced and sat down. "We'll have our breakfast, they can have there's when they're ready,"
"All right," the nearly twelve year old agreed. Then paused for a moment, thinking before asking. "Grams, does Uncle Harm love my Mum?"
"Yes, though neither are ready to admit it to each other yet," she answered.
"Did Dad know?"
"I don't think so dear, why?"
He shrugged. "It's just Mum wasn't happy last time Dad visited us, they had a fight and she was sad and Dad left and stayed at the base."
"Honey," Sarah smiled reassuringly. "Your Dad loved your Mum, never forget that, but sometimes grown ups well they grow apart."
"Mum and Uncle Harm never seem too, she's always happy around him?" There was a little anger in his voice.
"Corey are you angry at your father or someone else?"
His face clouded a little with anger and sadness. "He shouldn't have yelled at Mum like he did and he shouldn't have died," he exclaimed angrily, then got up and rushed out of the house.
Harm and Sera came in, hearing the door slam shut. "What's wrong Grams?" He asked.
"I think Harm, Corey needs to talk," Sarah answered calmly. "Sera come and sit down, Harm can handle this."
She did so, reluctantly. Harm patted her on the shoulder and hurried out of the house, finding Corey in the barn.
"Why did he have to die, Uncle Harm?" The boy asked, tears in his eyes.
"He didn't want to Core, it was just his time," he said carefully, coming closer. "I didn't want to lose my dad when I did."
"It hurts though Uncle Harm, and I don't want it to hurt,"
Harm sat beside him. "I know it does, but it won't always. You have to remember how much you loved him and the good times you had together,"
"I yelled at him, the last time I saw him, I told him I hated him for yelling at Mum," Corey told him, his tears slid down his cheeks. "I told him I never wanted to see him again and he left."
Putting his arm around the boy, Harm let him cry. "He knew you didn't mean it, Core. He knew you loved him, that's why he left. He didn't won't you upset," he said gently, wondering what Sera and Chris had been arguing over that had upset Corey so much. "And you've got a right to be angry, and sad, it's all natural, but you've got to be strong too."
"I know for Mum,"
"Not only for your Mum, but for yourself also," Harm told him. "And no matter what happens, you can always talk to me, okay?"
Corey nodded. "What's going to happen, Uncle Harm?"
Just than Sera came into the barn, Harm saw her and held back his answer.
Corey looked at his mum, waiting until she had sat next to him before asking her the same question. "Mum, what's going to happen?"
"Corey, I've been doing some thinking and I want to do something different in the Navy," she said carefully.
"Like what?"
"Well I want to go to flight school and be an aviator."
"Like Dad and Uncle Harm?"
"Yes."
He though about it for a moment, knowing what it would mean. "Can you do that?"
"I'll have to put in a request and it'll have to be approve but yes,"
"I'll mean a lot of hard work for your mum, Core and then she'll be assigned to a carrier." Harm added.
"What will happen to me?" He asked glancing at the two of them.
"Well you could stay with your Grandma in California and go to school there or you could stay in Washington with Grandma Becca," his mother suggested.
"Could I stay with Uncle Harm?" He asked innocently.
"You can't kiddo, but you can come visit on your holidays," Harm told him. "Your Mum will go to Pensacola, Florida to flight school if it's approved. Perhaps for the eighteen months she's at Pensacola you and your grandmother could stay near by."
"We could, so cool," he agreed trying to sound cheerful, even though it did bother him a little.
"So you don't mind me doing this, being an aviator?" His mum asked him
"No," he shook his head, making his own decision. "You love to fly, and when I grow up I'm going to be an aviator too."
She smiled and hugged him. She didn't have to worry about his career decisions yet. "Thank you honey."
He hugged her back. "I love you Mum," he whispered, then buried his head against her shoulder as the tears fell. "Just don't die like Dad did."
"I won't honey, I promise," she reassured gentle.
Harm drew them both into his arms, this wasn't going to be easy, but he had a feeling if anyone could accomplish this goal it was Sera. His Sera. His Angel.
4th of July 1997. Pensacola, Florida.
Corey Riggs opened the door grinning. "Uncle Harm, you made it," he hugged the tall Naval officer.
"I wouldn't have missed the opportunity to spend Fourth of July with you, Core." Harm told him, grinning his flyboy grin.
Sera Riggs came up behind her son. "Corey, let Harm in."
"Yes Ma'am,"
"And go help your Grams in the kitchen."
"Yes Ma'am," he said reluctantly and hurried to do so.
Sera shut the door when Harm came in, giving him the once over.
He turned, seeing her expression. "What?"
"I was just checking out what they say about gold wings on whites," she smirked.
"And?" He asked teasing, as he dropped his cover on the side table.
"Not bad, but then again I always thought that. Especially when it came to you," she smirked with enthusiasm.
"You're bad," he mused, and than gave her a friendly hug.
"I know," Sera remarked, stepping back quickly before her body could react. "Come on, I'll show you too your room. You have to bunk with Corey, I hope that's okay?"
"It's fine, are you staying?"
She opened the door to her son's room. "I am."
"Good."
Since arriving in Pensacola Sera had been staying on the base, than at the house her mother-in-law and son were renting most weekends. "Which means?"
"Well I have this case I'm working on and I could use someone to brain storm with me," he revealed butting his bag on the spare bed, turning.
Sera chuckled, leaning against the doorframe. Arms crossed against her chest. "You forget councilor, I'm an aviator now, not a lawyer."
Harm rolled his eyes. "Who'll end up being the wing legal once she's assigned to a aircraft carrier."
"Oh all right," she agreed in mock annoyance.
"Thanks Sera."
She lent off the doorframe, unfolding her arms as she took a step forward; rising on her toes she kissed his cheek and got a good smell of his aftershave. I am so over my head with him, she thought to herself. "I'll leave you to change."
"Thanks," he managed. Dam she smelt so good.
Nodding she hurried out of the room, shutting the door as she went. Leaning against it. God why does he have to be so sexy and why do I feel so guilty, I haven't done anything wrong? Pushing those thoughts to the back of her mind, she continued out into the back yard.
Grandma Elise was at the BBQ with Corey, cooking away. She looked back when she heard the door close. "Where's Harm?"
"Getting changed, he won't be long,"
"All right dear."
Harm strolled out a few minutes late in a t-shirt and shorts; he gave Elisa Riggs a warm hug. "How are you Mrs. Riggs?"
"I'm fine dear, and it's about time you took some notice and started calling me Elisa," she insisted.
"Yes Ma'am," he said, flashing her his best flyboy grin.
"Enough of that young man," she warned waving her cooking tongs at him. "That sexy smile doesn't work on me."
It does me. Sera thought as she set the table. It always did.
Laughing Harm held his hands up in surrender. "It never did if I recall, you always saw right through me."
"Always, even before you were Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb. Now go help Sera set the table, we're almost ready," she ordered.
"Yes Ma'am," he said quickly then rushed away from her snapping tongs.
Sera laughed. "You are a glutton for punishment, Harm."
"I know, I just can't resist," he jeered.
A few minutes later they sat down to eat; Corey said grace, than the meal began.
"As always Elisa, you've out done yourself," Harm praised.
"Flattery young man will get you every where, except out of doing the dishes," she teased.
"Don't worry Harm, they have a dishwasher." Sera reassured, grinning.
Damn she looks sexy when she does that, he thought to himself. "I bet she still makes Corey wash up occasionally, though?"
The twelve year old groaned. "A lot of the time,"
"That's enough out of you young man or you'll be help Harm do the washing up, by hand."
"Yes Ma'am," he stated yielding.
After dinner Sera gave Harm a hand to load the dishwasher, and put everything away. Corey headed off to a friends house to set off fireworks with them, on the promise she and Harm arrive later on to join in. Elisa went off to play bridge with a group of ladies she'd met, leaving them alone. Something she had a feeling had been planed.
Harm lent against the kitchen cabinet, his arms across his chest admiring the view. Just as she had done to him when he'd arrived.
Sera straightened, seeing him staring. "What are you looking at flyboy?"
"Just admiring the view," he smirked and he had been. Her denim shorts were short and tight; her white t-shirt had Navy written across it in large letters, it was tied in a knot at the front so her stomach was exposed. The only jewelry she wore were gold studs in her ears, that and her Navy ring. What he really noticed was she no longer wore her wedding ring.
She blushed under his gaze. "Do you want to take a walk?"
"Sure," he lent off the cabinet and followed her out.
Sera grabbed her house keys and hooked them to the belt lop on her shorts after they left the house. The sun was setting and the streetlights were coming on.
"So is it everything you thought it would be?" He finally asked.
"Everything and more,"
Taking a deep breath, Harm slowly let it out and took her hand in his. "I've missed you."
"I've missed you too," she edged closer, feeling nervous. It wasn't like this was a date or anything like that Harm was her friend, her best friend. And now. And now what, could they be more? She wondered
"Sera."
She came out of her daze. "Sorry, I was just thinking."
"About what?"
"Nothing important," she dismissed. Than changed the subject. "So did you get the new book?"
"I did thank you," he released her hand and slipped his arm around her waist, feeling her return the action. "I went and saw Matt and Emily before I left."
"So how are my brother and niece?"
"They said to say hello and Emily wanted me to give you something?"
"Oh?"
They stopped, facing each other; Harm drew her into his arms. "She wanted me to give you this," he lent down and kissed her, a soft gently kiss.
Reopening her eyes, Sera remembered to breath. "My three year old niece told you to kiss me?"
"She did," he mussed and did it again, this time it wasn't a friendly kiss, it was more and she returned it, circling her arms around his neck. When they parted both were breathing hard.
"We should…um." she began, her voice fading.
He nodded. "Yeah we should," he agreed. He gave her a smile, and then took her hand, walking with her.
"Should we talk about this?" She asked him.
"We should," he supposed, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "What ever happens, we'll take it one day at a time."
Nodding, Sera agreed. One day at a time. They would do that; soul mates always found each other and it now accrued to her she had found her soul mate in Harm. Now she just to wait until they were both ready and she would wait, she'd waited this long, she could wait a little longer.
To be continued.
Okay that's it. Please give me some feedback and tell me what you think. Please!!!