Title: Flashbacks
Author: Anaika Skywalker
Author's Email: lindsay30@austarnet.com.au
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own JAG; I just like to spread my wings occasionally.
Author's Note: This chapter takes place just before the events that lead up to those written in Gold Wings and Dress Whites, it's also the last I'm afraid. So I hope you've enjoyed these Flashbacks as much as I've enjoyed writing them.
Winjan: I couldn't resist putting Keeter in last chapter; he's such a fun character and look out for him in chapter nineteen of Gold Wings and Dress Whites. He makes an appearance there too.
Jewels4: Thank you so much, I'm flattered my stories are the first you look for. I'm touched.
FlashbacksChapter Six: September 2000: Needing your friends
USS Patrick Henry
September 2000
Lieutenant Mark Taylor glanced over his shoulder. "He's behind us, Angel. Do some of that pilot stuff you do."
"I'm on it Blades," Lieutenant Sera Riggs said calmly, she slowed them down, than at the last moment jammed on the brakes and pulled back hard on the stick. The MiG flow right under them, giving them a clean shot at it. She was about to take the shot when a second came straight at her firing, a pop in air pressure told her the canopy had been breeched, she thanked god she wore her mask. "Blades?"
"Tuna has him," he reported.
She went back to the MiG a head of them, getting tone she fired, her missile making contact with the MiG's engines blowing it out of the sky.
Lieutenant Medwick's Tomcat came up next to theirs. "MiG two has bugged out, are you finished playing Angel?"
She glanced over at him. "Yeah Tuna, it's getting a little breezy in here."
He chuckled, but saw what she meant. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, air pressure is coursing a little instability, but we'll make it home," she told him, feeling her heart pounding hard against her chest, she held it together though.
"As soon as we reach the Henry you declare an emergency," he ordered.
"Aye sir," She acknowledged and stuck to his wing. As they approached the Patrick Henry she broke off to land first. "Warpaint this is Batman two, declaring an emergency."
"Rodger Batman two, emergency personnel are on standby."
"Acknowledged Warpaint," she lowed her landing gear and tail hook. "Paddles this is Batman two."
"Batman two this is Paddles, call the ball."
"Batman two has the ball," she called and brought the Tomcat down on the deck, it wasn't her best landing but it wasn't a bad one either, she caught the number two wire.
"Nice work Angel." Mark praised, unclipping his mask.
"Thanks Blades," she said forcing a smile as she did the same. She taxied the Tomcat to a halt and shut it down, opening the damaged canopy.
Her plane Captain climbed up, as she and Mark were getting ready to climb out. "That was a close call, Ma'am."
She looked where he was pointing and her heart leaped up into her throat. Lodged in her seat, near where her head had been was a bullet. "No kidding chief," she tried to dismiss and climbed down after him.
Mark had heard everything; he climbed down quickly getting to her side. "Are you all right?" He asked concerned.
Sera nodded. "I'm fine."
"Damn it Angel, you're as white as a ghost," he exclaimed.
"I'm fine," she stated and hurried away.
Tuna and his RIO came over to him. "What's wrong?"
"There's a bullet lodged in her seat, two or three more inches and she would have been dead." Mark snapped.
"Easy Blades," he settled, and then went after Riggs. "Angel?"
"Leave me alone Tuna, I'm fine," she remarked leaving the flight deck pulling off her helmet.
He followed, taking his own off. Grabbing her arm. "Damn it Angel, it's not all right and you're not fine."
She shook her arm free; glaring at him she continued walking. Using anger to cover the nightmare of emotions whirling around inside her at that moment. In the ready room she pulled off her safety gear and throw it into her locker along with her helmet. Finding her hands were shaking. NO! She told herself, she wasn't going to let this beat her. She was stronger then this. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes for a moment and forced herself to relax. She wasn't going to fall apart. Reopening them she joined her fellow aviators, acting if nothing had happened.
The Cag cornered her once the debriefing was over. "Lieutenant, are you all right?"
"Yes sir, I'm fine,"
He didn't believe her. "Very well, dismissed."
Nodding she left the room, heading for her quarters. She needed to be alone, to sort this out, to think this out. She'd faced death before; in her line of work it wasn't unusual. So why should this time be any different?
She paced her quarters feeling confined in the small room, this was ridicules she was a seasoned pilot not some wet behind the ears rookie. Stopping she noticed her hands were starting to shake again, this time she couldn't stop them. Her heart was pounding so hard her chest hurt. A few more inches and she would have been dead, just a few more inches.
Cassie Ross came in; she knew something was wrong as soon as she saw her roommate. "Angel. Sera?" Suddenly she was grabbing her friend, who seemed to be having convulsions some sort of. She needed help. "Skates!" She yelled, knowing Beth couldn't have gone that far, having walked there with her.
Beth hadn't, she rushed in. "Oh god," she saw what was going on. "I'll get help," she told her and rushed out.
Cassie held her friend, sitting with her in her arms. "It's going to be all right, Sera. I promise."
Sera couldn't stop shaking. "So scared," she mumbled.
"You're safe Sera, it's okay."
Mark rushed into the room; he'd come to see if Sera were all right. "Damn it I knew something was wrong."
"I sent Beth to get help." Cassie told him quickly.
He gathered Sera up in his arms. "Then we'll met them half way, come on," he urged.
She hurried after him, despite the fact Sera has stopped convulsing Cassie was still worried about her.
They were met half way, the medical personnel taking Sera from Mark and rushing to sickbay with her. They continued with Beth, waiting to hear news concerning their friend. The Captain and Cag arrived to, having been informed. Soon Doctor Michaels came out to them.
Captain Ingles stood. "Doctor."
"It's delayed shock sir, the Lieutenant will be fine by morning physically."
"And mentally?" the Cag asked joining them.
"I'd suggest getting her up in the air as soon as possible, she needs to work through this and she won't do it on the ground. If you don't, it'll be harder for her to get back up."
"If she doesn't kill herself in the mean time," the Skipper remarked.
The doctor frowned. "Sir, the Lieutenant has had a shock to the system. There is nothing physically wrong with her, she needs to work through the fear and the faster she does that the better."
"All right. Get her back in the air in the morning Cag," he ordered.
"Yes sir."
"I also suggest you both talk to her, I've told her this is natural. It may help for her to hear it from both of you," the doctor suggested.
Nodding they followed Michaels back to his patient. Sera was seated on an exam bed, the shakes had past, though she still seemed a little pale.
"Sir,"
"Stay where you are Lieutenant," Ingles said quickly, stopping her from moving. "How are you feeling?"
"Better sir."
"Good."
"Angel, what you've been through, it's natural. All pilots at one point or another experience the same fear you did," the Cag informed calmly.
"Even some of us none pilots," the Captain added lightly.
She forced a smile. "Thank you sir."
The Cag did smile. "You're not due in the air until oh seven hundred, try and relax."
"Yes sir."
"I'll see you in the morning then."
"You're free to go, Lieutenant," the doctor told her.
"Yes sir." She slid off the exam bed and followed the Captain and Cag out to her friends.
"Take it easy, Angel," the Cag insisted.
"I will sir."
He nodded and left with the Captain.
Beth, Mark and Cassie walked her back to her quarters. "You scared the hell out of me," her roommate exclaimed.
"Sorry Cass."
"Yeah well just don't do it again."
"I won't." She stated.
Mark pattered her back. "If you want to talk, you know where to find me."
"Thanks," she smiled warmly. "I just want to take a shower, and lay down."
"I'll see you in the morning then," he said, and headed off towards the mess hall.
One down, two to ago, she thought.
In the quarters she shared with Cassie, she grabbed what she needed to take a shower.
"Are you sure you're all right?" Beth asked.
"I'm fine, really. Thanks Beth."
"Hey that's what friends are for," she said, before giving her a hug. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"All right."
After she'd left, Sera went for a shower, then dressed and lay down on her bunk. Cassie had gotten dinner while she'd been in the shower, now she was playing on the computer. This was going to be a long night. Sera decided and closed her eyes. However when she did everything played back in her mind, the attack, everything, except this time the bullet found its mark.
She woke up screaming, sitting straight up the room in darkness.
Cassie scrabbled off the top bunk down to her friend, holding her. "It's okay, Sera, it was just a dream. It'll be okay," she said gently. Hoping it would be.
September 2000
Harm's apartment
North of Union Station
Washington DC.
Sera road the elevator up to his apartment, she should have called. Not that Harm would turn her away, but he could have company. He could be working or out on a date. The last she didn't want to think about.
This is stupid, she decided. Suck it up Angel. You're not a child; you're a Naval Aviator.
The elevator stopped and she opened the door, walking out, going over to the door. Now it was all that stood in her way, between her and her best friend. The man she'd come to when she'd gotten a three-day pass after her promotion, the man who had given up his bed for her for two of those three days. The man who had rang her when he'd gotten his promotion, even though she'd been at sea. The man she loved – her soul mate. If anyone knew what she was feeling it was Harm.
Gathering her courage she knocked on the door and waited. Listening to his footsteps on the other side of the door, she'd watched him walk. Memorized it. That and the fact he had the greatest six in the Navy, especially in dress whites.
The door opened and Harmon Rabb stood there smiling. "Lieutenant."
Sera smiled warmly. "Commander."
"Come in Sera," he insisted and moved out of the way so she could.
She walked in admiring his apartment as she removed her coat and cover. Here she felt at home. Now she knew she'd made the right decision in coming to him. "The place looks great Harm."
Having closed the door, Harm joined her, taking her coat and cover. "I'm proud of it," he said lightly. "Can I get you anything?"
"No," she shook her head as she crossed her arms against her chest, unconsciously rubbing her forearms. She turned to face him. "I need someone to talk to."
He gestured for her to sit, putting her coat and cover on the counter before sitting next to her. He'd known Sera since Law School; she'd joined the Navy to be a JAG lawyer, but in her heart she'd wanted to be an Aviator.
Now looking into Sera's sea green eyes, Harm knew something was wrong. "How can I help?"
She hesitated, pushing a lock of brown hair behind her ear. "I don't think I can handle the pressure any more, Harm."
Now he was worried. Sera never gave up, not even after her husband had been killed in a training accident. "What happened?"
"During a routine mission we had a run in with a couple of MiG's, a lucky shot hit my canopy. As I was landing my Tomcat, my heart was pounding and I thought of nothing else other getting Blades and I on the deck. It wasn't until after we'd landed that it was discovered a bullet was lodged in my seat, it had missed my head by inches," she recalled, a waver to her voice. Her hands began to shake and she clenched them together to stop it. "I was so scared Harm, I couldn't think straight. I've had close calls before but never like this."
"Did you talk to someone?" Harm asked her, worried.
She nodded. "After the incident I talked with the Cag and the doc, they kept telling me it was a natural reaction to what had happened."
"But you don't?"
Sera got to her feet and walked over to the window. "No."
Getting to his feet, Harm stood behind her, drawing her into his arms. She wasn't as tall as him and her head came just under his chin as he held her close. "We all get scared, Sera."
"Not like this," she whispered, then announced. "I can't get back into the grove. I keep it together during missions, but I'm second-guessing myself and I'm having nightmares. I wake up in a sweat, my heart pounding with fear. I just don't think I can go back, Harm."
"Is that why you're here?"
"The Skipper gave me leave, told me to talk to a Navy shrink," she turned in his arms. "I don't want to stay with my parents and I didn't know who else to turn to. Everything I have is in storage, I gave up my apartment when Corey and I went to Hawaii."
Drawing her back into his arms, Harm felt her return the embrace. "You can turn to me Sera, you know that. In fact you can stay here with me. I'll help you get through this."
"I couldn't put you out."
"You won't and I insist."
She nodded. "Thanks Hammer.""
He smiled, feeling he was doing it again. Falling for her, just as he'd done before. Except this time she had no husband waiting for her. No distance between them or regulations. "You're welcome Angel." He finally managed to say, seeing her smile. Seeing the look in her eyes. Perhaps their time had finally come, after all soul mates always found each other and here they were with nothing holding them back - nothing at all.
Continues in Gold Wings and Dress Whites.