Hello, I'm Simon Wolf-Gough, aka, Shade Wolf. I made this fic. I hope you enjoy it, as I put a lot of time and effort into it. In fact, when I was writing this fic, I was supposed to be doing schoolwork. But I didn't, and failed out of my classes. Actually, because of this fic, I have sentanced myself to the life of a fast-food worker, and eventually the local drunk. Anyway, enjoy it, and please leave a review! Bye!
Behind The Game: Metal Gear Solid- Sons Of Liberty
Part Five
Narrator: Welcome to the fifth and non-final episode of Behind the game. But before we begin giving Vamp and Fortune insults and putting them in situations that would never happen... nah, let's just start.
(cut to everyone but Fortune and Vamp)
Raiden: I knew I was gay, but I couldn't tell anyone.
Snake: You told everyone two episodes ago. And we're supposed to talk about Vamp and that sexy black goddess Fortune!
Raiden: (breaks down in tears) Why are you so hurtful? (runs out of room)
Otacon: That was harsh, Snake.
Snake: Oh, go eat some flowers, Raiden-rammer!
Otacon: Call! (he and Snake high-five)
Ocelot: I hope I have a larger part in this episode.
Fatman: SHutup, Senor Mousatchio.
Narrator: Good one. But not everything was about high quality insults. Some was about birthday parties.
(cut to Solidus handing out invitations)
Solidus: Here's one for you... (gives one to Otacon)
Otacon: Thanks!
Solidus: And one for you, Fortune... (gives one to Fortune)
Vamp: And me?
Solidus: Vamp, I had to put some criteria on my birthday party invites.
Vamp: Where is this going?
Solidus: Well, you can't be evil or dead.
Vamp: But I can become good, and I'm very much alive, rwoar. (does one of those gay cat scratches in mid-air)
Solidus: I liked you better when you were dead.
(cut to everyone but Fortune and Vamp)
Snake: His birthday party rocked. There was free beer.
Solidus: It was rented. You owe me $500 in upkeep.
(Raiden enters)
Raiden: Hi.
Snake: Hey stupid.
Raiden: That's it?
Snake: Give it time. It'll eat at ya.
Otacon: Ever notice how this show has fallen back to rely on TV for jokes?
Shade: You slander the fiction! Into the reviewers pit with you!
(large Hawaiian guard drag Otacon to an ominous pit in the corner)
Otacon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (is thrown into the pit)
Narrator: We'll check on him later. In the meantime, let's see a small skit about racisim.
(cut to Vamp and Fortune sitting on a couch)
Fortune: Laaaaazy dog-dangling afternoon.
Vamp: (grabs a nearby marine and sucks his blood) Mmm... warm and O positive flavour.
(a redneck walks by)
Redneck: Hey black bitch! Go work in my poppas slave mines, thats where you belong, haw haw!
Fortune: (fires her railgun, killing the redneck instantly) That's something that's really developed nowadays.
Vamp: What, Queen?
Fortune: Racisim. It's really developed lately.
Vamp: See, when I was young, none of the people at my school were racist. We were together, in spirit and flesh. We had a sacred bond... to beat the shit out of the fat kid with the glasses! (does a noogie manoeuvre on air) Take that fatty boomba! Taste my fury!
(cut to everyone but Vamp, Fortune and Otacon)
Snake: See Raiden, to get it on with the guys, you have to be aloof, but not arrogant. Aloof... (points his fingers in gun style towards the door) Hey...
Raiden: Uh huh...
Snake: But not arrogant. (lifts up shirt and rubs nipple with two fingers)
Ocelot: Good point, Snake.
Fatman: Can I get it on with chicks?
Snake: Ha ha ha, no.
Raiden: Where'd Otacon go?
Narrator: How about we check on him?
(cut to the bottom of a pit. Seen are Otacon, Blackraven, Kat, Battleshield, Chibs and Ronin Syaoran)
Otacon: Why me?
Kat: Why doesn't this have Gollum in it? He rocks!
Chibs: I wanna be a dentist! Eugnh!
Otacon: Gollum isn't in it as it was a one time joke, and why do you think we'd care that you want to be a dentist!
Blackraven: I was in a porn film with Snake. Mmmm, yummy...
Otacon: Why me, why me?!
Ronin Syaoran: I can end your suffering, Otacon. (unsheathes katana)
Otacon: Why are you here?
Ronin: Snake throws me in here for fun sometimes.
Battleshield: Good job man, keep it up!
Ronin: You be quiet.
Battleshield: Keep it going!
(cut to everyone but Otacon, Vamp und Fortune)
Snake: That would have been better if we had more then 3 regular reviewers.
Shade: Dude, I do my best. Not my fault if all those assholes who read this... (notices that people will be reading this) I mean... Uh... Hoo boy...
Raiden: I once had relations with a duck.
Shade: Good distraction. (runs away)
Narrator: Some of it was about battles.
(cut to Raiden talking to Vamp in his lair on route to Emma)
Vamp: She was alive a few hours ago.
Raiden: I'll kill you! (fires SOCOM repeatedly at Vamp; he easily dodges)
Vamp: You poor fool. Do you not know whom you face?
Raiden: Yes, I do not know who... don't not know... SHUTUP!
Vamp: (leaps down and bites Raidens neck) Heh... *slurp*
Raiden: Dude, I have enough hickeys from Otacon al... alre... (he drops to the ground)
Vamp: What flavour was that? Hmm...
(cut to Snake and Raiden sitting opposite a Tv)
Snake: Wanna watch some TV, your gayness?
Raiden: I dunno, there's nothing but shit on nowadays. I mean, the War in Iraq, reality shows, Avril Lavigne...
Snake: True. But I hooked up the Adults Only channel! C'mon, whos your biatch?
Raiden: Otacon.
(silence)
Snake: You shutup.
TV: The Adults Only channel would like to announce that the next film is not suitable for family viewing.
Raiden: We better turn it off now.
Snake: Shutup!
TV: It contains scenes of violence, involving peoples arms getting chopped off, their ears nailed to trees and their toenails pulled out in slow motion.
Snake: That sounds wrong. Very wrong.
Raiden: Yay! I likes the arms bit the best!
TV: There are also scenes of naked women with floppy breasts.
Raiden: I wanna go to bed now.
Snake: Mmmm, floppy...
TV: There are also scenes with Zach Braff.
Snake: Well that put me off it. (turns off TV)
Narrator: But not all of it was about Zach Braff. Some was about going partying.
(cut to Fortune, Snake, Vamp and Raiden all standing on a sidewalk in the middle of a city)
Fortune: Alright guys, we need to buy clothes, food and alcohol.
Snake: Where are we going to get the money for that?
(everyone looks over at Vamp, who is slaughtering civilians on the sidewalk, taking their valuables and putting 'em all into a bulding sack)
Fortune: Perhaps we could use some of the money from Vamps 'findings'.
Vamp: (stares at Fortune) Or perhaps we could all stick white hot iron rods in our eyes until we spear our brains.
Raiden: (running around screaming) EEEEK, not in my eyes!
Vamp: And that's why we won't be using any of my money.
Snake: Wait, that doesn't even make-
Vamp: I SAID that's why we won't be using my money.
Raiden: Don't push it, Snake! Your meddling will get us fire pokeys in our eyes!
Fortune: I hate you all.
(cut to Mr.T)
Mr.T: I'm Mr.T! And I'm in a fan fiction! It's funny 'cause it's not what you'd expect! I pity da foo' who don't find this hilarious! (a baby crawls by his feet) This is my baby! For less confusion, his name is Mr. lowercase t!
Mr.t: Pity da foo'...
(cut to Otacon stuck in the pit)
Otacon: God help me...
Ronin Syaoran: I'm not helping you, you bastard!
Chibs: Was dat Mr.T?!
Jerry Seinfeld: What is it, with the what is it?
Paid Audience: Ha ha ha ha.
Otacon: (yelling up the pit) I'M SORRY! PLEASE SAVE ME!
(Snake and Vamp dive down the pit)
Vamp: DIE! (slashes Chibs neck)
Snake: Show's over, Seinfeld! (fires pistol, killing Jerry)
Blackraven: Yay!
Kat: So... what are you doing to us?
Vamp: Normally I would kill you-
Snake: But we're not. You can go home to your 'friends' and 'family'. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Ronin: Yes!
Snake: HE'S COMING RIGHT FOR US!!! (fires pistol repeatedly at Ronin) Ha! (keeps on firing; reloads and fires)
Ronin: (on ground) Organs... bleeding... bones... broken... spleen... still unaccounted for...
Otacon: He's dead, Snake.
Snake: Not... (fires once) quite... (fires again) YET! (emptys clip and calms down) Well that was fun. Let's go and buy some ice-cream.
Narrator: But not everything was about Seinfeld slaughtering. Some was about Fortune and Vamps turn to sell out!
(cut to Ocelot reading the paper)
Ocelot: Let's see here... Libra... here we go, let's see... 'Things are up and down at work today, a co-worker may ask for some help with a task, use some of your wages to pay for bills, you and a loved one may talk about something of importance', what a jib!
Deep Voice: Hey you!
Ocelot: (spins around and sees nothing) Who, me?
Deep Voice: Yes you! Tired of vague, watered down horoscopes that don't tell you a thing?
Ocelot: I sure am!
Deep Voice: Then try new 'Horror Scopes'. The new detailed horoscopes designed for you personally! Here are some examples.
(Fortune appears in front of Ocelot)
Fortune: Hello Libra! Your wife is having an affair with the guy who runs the liqour store down the street!
Ocelot: What?!
Deep Voice: Here's another.
Fortune: An unexpected package will arrive for you today, but don't open it! It contains anthrax!
Ocelot: Wow, thanks!
Deep Voice: Finally...
Fortune: Libra, for Gods sake, look behind you! Behind you! A vampire!
Ocelot: Huh? (slowly turns and sees Vamp) Oh god no!
(Vamp lunges forwards and slices Ocelots throat, picks him up and drinks the blood)
Vamp: (drops Ocelots body) New Horror Scopes. Detailed, personal, and they might just save your life.
Fortune: (kicks Ocelots body) Another satisfied customer.
(cut to the Pirate Portrait from the intro of Spongebob Squarepants)
Pirate Portrait: Are ya ready kids?
Kids: (unenthusiastic) Aye aye captain.
Pirate Portrait: I can't hear you!
Kids: (unenthusiastic) Aye aye captain.
Pirate: (pulls out machine gun and fires at the kids) I SAID I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
Kids: AYE AYE CAPTAIN!
Narrator: But not everything was put into fic just because the author couldn't think of anything better. Some was about movies.
(cut to Fortune drinking a soda)
Fortune: This is some good soda that I am drinking.
(a hobbit who looks like Frodo runs in, firing a machine gun behind him)
Hobbit: You'll never take me alive!
Fortune: Who are you? Can you give me death?
Hobbit: I'm Enrico Baggino, and I'm the Lord Of The Rings, see? I moidered Frodo in his sleep, and took the ring! Then I moidered Randalf, cast a time travel spell an' now I'm here, see?
(pistol fire is heard; Enrico falls down)
Fortune: (drinks soda) Good soda.
(old woman enters)
Fortune: *sigh* Who are you?
Old Woman: Well, I was Sarah Clarke of Florida, but now I'm Lord Of The Rings!
(pistol fire heard; old woman collapses)
Fortune: (sips soda) Huh.
(Snake enters)
Snake: No way, only I'm the Lord Of The Rings!
Fortune: I see where this is going. (sips soda)
(pistol fire heard; Snake falls)
Fortune: Knew it. (slurps soda)
(enter Vamp)
Vamp: Only I can be the Lord Of The Rings. Mwahahahahahaha!
Fortune: (gulps soda) Mmm hmm.
Peter Jackson: CUT! Print that, we finally have the final scene for The Lord Of The Rings: Return Of The King!
Vamp: Oh well. At least I get to keep the ring.
Fortune: (turns to camera) Well, as you can tell, this is not the real ending. For you pleasure, here is the real ending.
(cut to a woman sitting next to a bear)
Bear: (gets angry and attacks woman) Gimme that ring!
(cut to everyone but Fortune and Vamp)
Otacon: (reading The Lord Of The Rings: Return Of The King) Wait a minute, that wasn't in the book!
Peter Jackson: Tell me about it. (picks up Lord Of The Rings reference guide; starts ripping out stuff and writting new stuff in)
Snake: If I've learnt one thing from all this... it's that the author can't keep his mind focused on the job at hand, so he keeps making references, parodys and even rips stuff off other stuff to fill in space. He often just adds the characters he's writing about just so he can honestly say that they feature in the fic.
Shade: You shutup.
(Vamp sneaks behind them and slits all their throats)
Vamp: Grr...
Fortune: (walks in from back door) Well, I guess it's time for our fight.
Vamp: Yes, let's see who would win, to finally set all the conflict to rest.
Referee: Ready, GO!
(Vamp charges, Fortune charges her railgun... time freezes)
Narrator: Who will win this epic conflict between two people who have something together that is deeper then sex? You won't find out next time on Behind The Game!
Behind The Game: Metal Gear Solid- Sons Of Liberty
Part Five
Narrator: Welcome to the fifth and non-final episode of Behind the game. But before we begin giving Vamp and Fortune insults and putting them in situations that would never happen... nah, let's just start.
(cut to everyone but Fortune and Vamp)
Raiden: I knew I was gay, but I couldn't tell anyone.
Snake: You told everyone two episodes ago. And we're supposed to talk about Vamp and that sexy black goddess Fortune!
Raiden: (breaks down in tears) Why are you so hurtful? (runs out of room)
Otacon: That was harsh, Snake.
Snake: Oh, go eat some flowers, Raiden-rammer!
Otacon: Call! (he and Snake high-five)
Ocelot: I hope I have a larger part in this episode.
Fatman: SHutup, Senor Mousatchio.
Narrator: Good one. But not everything was about high quality insults. Some was about birthday parties.
(cut to Solidus handing out invitations)
Solidus: Here's one for you... (gives one to Otacon)
Otacon: Thanks!
Solidus: And one for you, Fortune... (gives one to Fortune)
Vamp: And me?
Solidus: Vamp, I had to put some criteria on my birthday party invites.
Vamp: Where is this going?
Solidus: Well, you can't be evil or dead.
Vamp: But I can become good, and I'm very much alive, rwoar. (does one of those gay cat scratches in mid-air)
Solidus: I liked you better when you were dead.
(cut to everyone but Fortune and Vamp)
Snake: His birthday party rocked. There was free beer.
Solidus: It was rented. You owe me $500 in upkeep.
(Raiden enters)
Raiden: Hi.
Snake: Hey stupid.
Raiden: That's it?
Snake: Give it time. It'll eat at ya.
Otacon: Ever notice how this show has fallen back to rely on TV for jokes?
Shade: You slander the fiction! Into the reviewers pit with you!
(large Hawaiian guard drag Otacon to an ominous pit in the corner)
Otacon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (is thrown into the pit)
Narrator: We'll check on him later. In the meantime, let's see a small skit about racisim.
(cut to Vamp and Fortune sitting on a couch)
Fortune: Laaaaazy dog-dangling afternoon.
Vamp: (grabs a nearby marine and sucks his blood) Mmm... warm and O positive flavour.
(a redneck walks by)
Redneck: Hey black bitch! Go work in my poppas slave mines, thats where you belong, haw haw!
Fortune: (fires her railgun, killing the redneck instantly) That's something that's really developed nowadays.
Vamp: What, Queen?
Fortune: Racisim. It's really developed lately.
Vamp: See, when I was young, none of the people at my school were racist. We were together, in spirit and flesh. We had a sacred bond... to beat the shit out of the fat kid with the glasses! (does a noogie manoeuvre on air) Take that fatty boomba! Taste my fury!
(cut to everyone but Vamp, Fortune and Otacon)
Snake: See Raiden, to get it on with the guys, you have to be aloof, but not arrogant. Aloof... (points his fingers in gun style towards the door) Hey...
Raiden: Uh huh...
Snake: But not arrogant. (lifts up shirt and rubs nipple with two fingers)
Ocelot: Good point, Snake.
Fatman: Can I get it on with chicks?
Snake: Ha ha ha, no.
Raiden: Where'd Otacon go?
Narrator: How about we check on him?
(cut to the bottom of a pit. Seen are Otacon, Blackraven, Kat, Battleshield, Chibs and Ronin Syaoran)
Otacon: Why me?
Kat: Why doesn't this have Gollum in it? He rocks!
Chibs: I wanna be a dentist! Eugnh!
Otacon: Gollum isn't in it as it was a one time joke, and why do you think we'd care that you want to be a dentist!
Blackraven: I was in a porn film with Snake. Mmmm, yummy...
Otacon: Why me, why me?!
Ronin Syaoran: I can end your suffering, Otacon. (unsheathes katana)
Otacon: Why are you here?
Ronin: Snake throws me in here for fun sometimes.
Battleshield: Good job man, keep it up!
Ronin: You be quiet.
Battleshield: Keep it going!
(cut to everyone but Otacon, Vamp und Fortune)
Snake: That would have been better if we had more then 3 regular reviewers.
Shade: Dude, I do my best. Not my fault if all those assholes who read this... (notices that people will be reading this) I mean... Uh... Hoo boy...
Raiden: I once had relations with a duck.
Shade: Good distraction. (runs away)
Narrator: Some of it was about battles.
(cut to Raiden talking to Vamp in his lair on route to Emma)
Vamp: She was alive a few hours ago.
Raiden: I'll kill you! (fires SOCOM repeatedly at Vamp; he easily dodges)
Vamp: You poor fool. Do you not know whom you face?
Raiden: Yes, I do not know who... don't not know... SHUTUP!
Vamp: (leaps down and bites Raidens neck) Heh... *slurp*
Raiden: Dude, I have enough hickeys from Otacon al... alre... (he drops to the ground)
Vamp: What flavour was that? Hmm...
(cut to Snake and Raiden sitting opposite a Tv)
Snake: Wanna watch some TV, your gayness?
Raiden: I dunno, there's nothing but shit on nowadays. I mean, the War in Iraq, reality shows, Avril Lavigne...
Snake: True. But I hooked up the Adults Only channel! C'mon, whos your biatch?
Raiden: Otacon.
(silence)
Snake: You shutup.
TV: The Adults Only channel would like to announce that the next film is not suitable for family viewing.
Raiden: We better turn it off now.
Snake: Shutup!
TV: It contains scenes of violence, involving peoples arms getting chopped off, their ears nailed to trees and their toenails pulled out in slow motion.
Snake: That sounds wrong. Very wrong.
Raiden: Yay! I likes the arms bit the best!
TV: There are also scenes of naked women with floppy breasts.
Raiden: I wanna go to bed now.
Snake: Mmmm, floppy...
TV: There are also scenes with Zach Braff.
Snake: Well that put me off it. (turns off TV)
Narrator: But not all of it was about Zach Braff. Some was about going partying.
(cut to Fortune, Snake, Vamp and Raiden all standing on a sidewalk in the middle of a city)
Fortune: Alright guys, we need to buy clothes, food and alcohol.
Snake: Where are we going to get the money for that?
(everyone looks over at Vamp, who is slaughtering civilians on the sidewalk, taking their valuables and putting 'em all into a bulding sack)
Fortune: Perhaps we could use some of the money from Vamps 'findings'.
Vamp: (stares at Fortune) Or perhaps we could all stick white hot iron rods in our eyes until we spear our brains.
Raiden: (running around screaming) EEEEK, not in my eyes!
Vamp: And that's why we won't be using any of my money.
Snake: Wait, that doesn't even make-
Vamp: I SAID that's why we won't be using my money.
Raiden: Don't push it, Snake! Your meddling will get us fire pokeys in our eyes!
Fortune: I hate you all.
(cut to Mr.T)
Mr.T: I'm Mr.T! And I'm in a fan fiction! It's funny 'cause it's not what you'd expect! I pity da foo' who don't find this hilarious! (a baby crawls by his feet) This is my baby! For less confusion, his name is Mr. lowercase t!
Mr.t: Pity da foo'...
(cut to Otacon stuck in the pit)
Otacon: God help me...
Ronin Syaoran: I'm not helping you, you bastard!
Chibs: Was dat Mr.T?!
Jerry Seinfeld: What is it, with the what is it?
Paid Audience: Ha ha ha ha.
Otacon: (yelling up the pit) I'M SORRY! PLEASE SAVE ME!
(Snake and Vamp dive down the pit)
Vamp: DIE! (slashes Chibs neck)
Snake: Show's over, Seinfeld! (fires pistol, killing Jerry)
Blackraven: Yay!
Kat: So... what are you doing to us?
Vamp: Normally I would kill you-
Snake: But we're not. You can go home to your 'friends' and 'family'. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Ronin: Yes!
Snake: HE'S COMING RIGHT FOR US!!! (fires pistol repeatedly at Ronin) Ha! (keeps on firing; reloads and fires)
Ronin: (on ground) Organs... bleeding... bones... broken... spleen... still unaccounted for...
Otacon: He's dead, Snake.
Snake: Not... (fires once) quite... (fires again) YET! (emptys clip and calms down) Well that was fun. Let's go and buy some ice-cream.
Narrator: But not everything was about Seinfeld slaughtering. Some was about Fortune and Vamps turn to sell out!
(cut to Ocelot reading the paper)
Ocelot: Let's see here... Libra... here we go, let's see... 'Things are up and down at work today, a co-worker may ask for some help with a task, use some of your wages to pay for bills, you and a loved one may talk about something of importance', what a jib!
Deep Voice: Hey you!
Ocelot: (spins around and sees nothing) Who, me?
Deep Voice: Yes you! Tired of vague, watered down horoscopes that don't tell you a thing?
Ocelot: I sure am!
Deep Voice: Then try new 'Horror Scopes'. The new detailed horoscopes designed for you personally! Here are some examples.
(Fortune appears in front of Ocelot)
Fortune: Hello Libra! Your wife is having an affair with the guy who runs the liqour store down the street!
Ocelot: What?!
Deep Voice: Here's another.
Fortune: An unexpected package will arrive for you today, but don't open it! It contains anthrax!
Ocelot: Wow, thanks!
Deep Voice: Finally...
Fortune: Libra, for Gods sake, look behind you! Behind you! A vampire!
Ocelot: Huh? (slowly turns and sees Vamp) Oh god no!
(Vamp lunges forwards and slices Ocelots throat, picks him up and drinks the blood)
Vamp: (drops Ocelots body) New Horror Scopes. Detailed, personal, and they might just save your life.
Fortune: (kicks Ocelots body) Another satisfied customer.
(cut to the Pirate Portrait from the intro of Spongebob Squarepants)
Pirate Portrait: Are ya ready kids?
Kids: (unenthusiastic) Aye aye captain.
Pirate Portrait: I can't hear you!
Kids: (unenthusiastic) Aye aye captain.
Pirate: (pulls out machine gun and fires at the kids) I SAID I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
Kids: AYE AYE CAPTAIN!
Narrator: But not everything was put into fic just because the author couldn't think of anything better. Some was about movies.
(cut to Fortune drinking a soda)
Fortune: This is some good soda that I am drinking.
(a hobbit who looks like Frodo runs in, firing a machine gun behind him)
Hobbit: You'll never take me alive!
Fortune: Who are you? Can you give me death?
Hobbit: I'm Enrico Baggino, and I'm the Lord Of The Rings, see? I moidered Frodo in his sleep, and took the ring! Then I moidered Randalf, cast a time travel spell an' now I'm here, see?
(pistol fire is heard; Enrico falls down)
Fortune: (drinks soda) Good soda.
(old woman enters)
Fortune: *sigh* Who are you?
Old Woman: Well, I was Sarah Clarke of Florida, but now I'm Lord Of The Rings!
(pistol fire heard; old woman collapses)
Fortune: (sips soda) Huh.
(Snake enters)
Snake: No way, only I'm the Lord Of The Rings!
Fortune: I see where this is going. (sips soda)
(pistol fire heard; Snake falls)
Fortune: Knew it. (slurps soda)
(enter Vamp)
Vamp: Only I can be the Lord Of The Rings. Mwahahahahahaha!
Fortune: (gulps soda) Mmm hmm.
Peter Jackson: CUT! Print that, we finally have the final scene for The Lord Of The Rings: Return Of The King!
Vamp: Oh well. At least I get to keep the ring.
Fortune: (turns to camera) Well, as you can tell, this is not the real ending. For you pleasure, here is the real ending.
(cut to a woman sitting next to a bear)
Bear: (gets angry and attacks woman) Gimme that ring!
(cut to everyone but Fortune and Vamp)
Otacon: (reading The Lord Of The Rings: Return Of The King) Wait a minute, that wasn't in the book!
Peter Jackson: Tell me about it. (picks up Lord Of The Rings reference guide; starts ripping out stuff and writting new stuff in)
Snake: If I've learnt one thing from all this... it's that the author can't keep his mind focused on the job at hand, so he keeps making references, parodys and even rips stuff off other stuff to fill in space. He often just adds the characters he's writing about just so he can honestly say that they feature in the fic.
Shade: You shutup.
(Vamp sneaks behind them and slits all their throats)
Vamp: Grr...
Fortune: (walks in from back door) Well, I guess it's time for our fight.
Vamp: Yes, let's see who would win, to finally set all the conflict to rest.
Referee: Ready, GO!
(Vamp charges, Fortune charges her railgun... time freezes)
Narrator: Who will win this epic conflict between two people who have something together that is deeper then sex? You won't find out next time on Behind The Game!