Chapter 2: Lifelines
"Hello, Mama." Catherine kept her voice low as she adjusted her jacket, black leather suddenly stifling in the heat of her mother's intense gaze. It had been so long...she couldn't remember the hair at Kay's temples being so grey, or the delicate, gold-framed bifocals perched upon a regal, upturned nose. Her eyes were the same shade of blue as Catherine's; with a splash of grey mirroring a storm-tossed sea...much like the storm she knew was raging within both of their minds.
"Catherine." Her mother replied, acknowledging her daughter's presence in the doorway of her home. Her voice was steady, even, and carried none of the warmth that a mother's voice normally would. "How much do you need now?"
"Mama, please." Brushing stray locks of hair from her face, Catherine took the time to regard her mother, calm her pounding heart, and collect her scattered thoughts. Kay hadn't always been the easiest person to talk to...and it hadn't helped that Catherine's greatest aspiration was to run away with her boyfriend at the earliest possible opportunity. "I'm here.... I came to show you something."
"What?" Crossing her arms, Kay raised her eyebrows and leaned heavily against the doorframe, not seeming prepared to extend any particular courtesy to her offspring. "The last time you came here, Catherine, you wanted back in. Back into the life, your father and I gave you, that you gave up to runaway with that boy you adored so much. And where did that get you? Waitressing, taking other people's dirty dishes when you couldn't even air your own dirty laundry. I didn't raise my daughter that way."
"I'm not just your daughter anymore, Mama. I've got a daughter of my own, now. Lindsey. You'd love her. She's got my eyes, I think...and she's stubborn as hell. Reminds me of someone." Her lips quirked upward in the form of a smile, and yet...yet it didn't feel like one, strangely out of place on her face.
"I have a picture." Catherine added, digging around in her cluttered purse until she located a sleek black wallet. There was no need for her to search endlessly for the photo, for she had no others in there, not even one of Eddie.
Handing it to her mother, Catherine saw the build-up of tears in her eyes. With her thumb, Kay stroked the picture lovingly, admiring her very first grandchild with admiration. As if somehow little Lindsey melted the ice that had formed between the two Burke women.
"Who's the father?" Kay asked, hope in her voice. Maybe her daughter had turned out all right after all.
"His name is Eddie Willows...he's..." The lump in her throat, planted there at the first glimpse of her estranged mother, began to swell as Catherine struggled to spew forth the words she needed to describe her relationship with Eddie. "He...was...my husband. We're getting a divorce, Mama...but Lindsey's doing fine."
Her hands had begun to shake, and Catherine slipped them into her pockets, right hand fingering the plastic baggie she'd managed to stuff into the lining of her coat before departing from home.
"A divorce?" Her mother's voice cracked.
Catherine winced at the tone. She knew fully well her mother's beliefs about divorce. It was just another event in Catherine's ever-turbulent world that her mother didn't understand. Life and it's trials had led Catherine away from her faith, and as she ran a finger over the bag in her pocket, she wondered what it would have been like if she'd never gone astray.
But it had, and there was nothing she could do about it now. It had been stupid of her to come here expecting even the slightest of sympathy. The life she had then, and the one she had now seemed too far apart for her to ever have considered coming back.
"Yes." She managed a slight smile, taking the picture of Lindsey and turning it back in her direction. "It's better for Lindsey...and for me...if we do it this way."
What she didn't tell her mother was that she'd discovered Eddie in the bathroom, having his way with a whore from the club down the street...a woman whose thighs and breasts seemed to have caught more action from Catherine's lustful husband than Catherine knew she ever could. She didn't want that kind of attention anymore.
She inhaled sharply, fingers now squeezing the contents of the bag within her pocket as if it was a lifeline...and it was, in a way. If there were any easier option available to utilize in telling her mother exactly what she needed...but there could be nothing easier. And she needed...badly...to collect her thoughts.
"Excuse me, Mama...can you just...excuse me?" She made the escape, down the front steps and into the darkened interior of her rental car, shaded windows excluding the world from a moment she didn't want anyone to share. But the person knocking on the window...didn't want to be shut out anymore.
TBC.
"Hello, Mama." Catherine kept her voice low as she adjusted her jacket, black leather suddenly stifling in the heat of her mother's intense gaze. It had been so long...she couldn't remember the hair at Kay's temples being so grey, or the delicate, gold-framed bifocals perched upon a regal, upturned nose. Her eyes were the same shade of blue as Catherine's; with a splash of grey mirroring a storm-tossed sea...much like the storm she knew was raging within both of their minds.
"Catherine." Her mother replied, acknowledging her daughter's presence in the doorway of her home. Her voice was steady, even, and carried none of the warmth that a mother's voice normally would. "How much do you need now?"
"Mama, please." Brushing stray locks of hair from her face, Catherine took the time to regard her mother, calm her pounding heart, and collect her scattered thoughts. Kay hadn't always been the easiest person to talk to...and it hadn't helped that Catherine's greatest aspiration was to run away with her boyfriend at the earliest possible opportunity. "I'm here.... I came to show you something."
"What?" Crossing her arms, Kay raised her eyebrows and leaned heavily against the doorframe, not seeming prepared to extend any particular courtesy to her offspring. "The last time you came here, Catherine, you wanted back in. Back into the life, your father and I gave you, that you gave up to runaway with that boy you adored so much. And where did that get you? Waitressing, taking other people's dirty dishes when you couldn't even air your own dirty laundry. I didn't raise my daughter that way."
"I'm not just your daughter anymore, Mama. I've got a daughter of my own, now. Lindsey. You'd love her. She's got my eyes, I think...and she's stubborn as hell. Reminds me of someone." Her lips quirked upward in the form of a smile, and yet...yet it didn't feel like one, strangely out of place on her face.
"I have a picture." Catherine added, digging around in her cluttered purse until she located a sleek black wallet. There was no need for her to search endlessly for the photo, for she had no others in there, not even one of Eddie.
Handing it to her mother, Catherine saw the build-up of tears in her eyes. With her thumb, Kay stroked the picture lovingly, admiring her very first grandchild with admiration. As if somehow little Lindsey melted the ice that had formed between the two Burke women.
"Who's the father?" Kay asked, hope in her voice. Maybe her daughter had turned out all right after all.
"His name is Eddie Willows...he's..." The lump in her throat, planted there at the first glimpse of her estranged mother, began to swell as Catherine struggled to spew forth the words she needed to describe her relationship with Eddie. "He...was...my husband. We're getting a divorce, Mama...but Lindsey's doing fine."
Her hands had begun to shake, and Catherine slipped them into her pockets, right hand fingering the plastic baggie she'd managed to stuff into the lining of her coat before departing from home.
"A divorce?" Her mother's voice cracked.
Catherine winced at the tone. She knew fully well her mother's beliefs about divorce. It was just another event in Catherine's ever-turbulent world that her mother didn't understand. Life and it's trials had led Catherine away from her faith, and as she ran a finger over the bag in her pocket, she wondered what it would have been like if she'd never gone astray.
But it had, and there was nothing she could do about it now. It had been stupid of her to come here expecting even the slightest of sympathy. The life she had then, and the one she had now seemed too far apart for her to ever have considered coming back.
"Yes." She managed a slight smile, taking the picture of Lindsey and turning it back in her direction. "It's better for Lindsey...and for me...if we do it this way."
What she didn't tell her mother was that she'd discovered Eddie in the bathroom, having his way with a whore from the club down the street...a woman whose thighs and breasts seemed to have caught more action from Catherine's lustful husband than Catherine knew she ever could. She didn't want that kind of attention anymore.
She inhaled sharply, fingers now squeezing the contents of the bag within her pocket as if it was a lifeline...and it was, in a way. If there were any easier option available to utilize in telling her mother exactly what she needed...but there could be nothing easier. And she needed...badly...to collect her thoughts.
"Excuse me, Mama...can you just...excuse me?" She made the escape, down the front steps and into the darkened interior of her rental car, shaded windows excluding the world from a moment she didn't want anyone to share. But the person knocking on the window...didn't want to be shut out anymore.
TBC.