Chapter 2

Drifting serenely in a void of silky blackness, she felt content. Dreaming about fat-laden, brimming in cholesterol, disgustingly greasy cupcakes…until she felt a sudden jolt to her body. And heard staticky voices, like a TV with bad reception.

"Think she's alive?"

"Who knows? Kick her again 'n see."

Another jarring blow. She snapped out of her reverie of cakes saturated in lard, inundated with sugar, and drowned in globs of butter. Damn, why did this always have to happen to her? She supposed she'd better get up; acting as someone's sack of potatoes wasn't exactly her idea of fun. She kicked out and headed vaguely towards an upwards direction in this vast spread of darkness.

"Nope, looks like this pile of crap's really gone. Bugger."

"Wanna try the other one?"

"Nah, this one's better."

Well, it was a surprise to know she was actually a priority over someone else, for once. And a smasher, at that!

"This one's got more fat on her. She'll last us longer."

Ok, well, any reason was better than nothing, right?

Finally mustering up enough energy to crack open her snot-coated eyes, she noticed two figures looming over her.

"Ah. Awake, I see," one snickered.

Her eyes focused sufficiently to gather some observations. One was shorter, with long black hair while the other was taller with long ebony hair streaked with red. Both females.

The shorter, with evil flames dancing malignantly in her dark brown eyes, said, "She'll do. C'mon, let's get out of here now. Time to start the fun!" The other nodded gleefully.

"Wait," the almost corpse croaked. "Wh-who're you and what do you want with me?"

The pair exchanged amused glances. "I'm dreadfully sorry; please pardon us for forgetting our manners like that!" The taller one apologized in a honeyed tone. "This is Triss and I am Cho. And you are…?"

"I think Lard-bucket is quite fitting," Triss mumbled, not quite under her breath.

"Uh, Jamie Primack," she whispered.

"Right then, Scum Pond, let's get you to somewhere saf – no, that would be lying. Somewhere indoors."

"It's Jamie."

"Right, right, we heard ya, Scum." Cho said placatingly, in the tone one would use to speak to a spoiled brat.

"Shouldn't we call her Woodlawn Pond?" Triss interrupted abruptly.

"Hmm. It does seem quite suitable, now you mention it, but…"

As the two began to engage in a heated debate, Scum, being the great intellect she was, wondered if she was in heaven. Maybe she had bled to death. Looking at her stomach, she saw that all the blood had clotted up, forming a nice mammoth lump of crimson as hard as dried acrylic paint. It kinda resembled a ripe strawberry…with the sword hilt sticking out as a kind of vine; there were even particles stuck within the mass for seeds. She wondered how it would taste. She never got the chance to find out though, as the girls turned back towards her.

"Right, well, whatever. I suppose we'll stick with Scum, it rolls right off the tongue."

"Yes, so hurry up! I can't wait to start already, our last…visitor didn't last long. What a spoilsport."

"Think we should pull this thing outta her?"

"Nah, leave it in. A little souvenir. For fond recollection, that sorta thing."

"Right. Well, let's go. I know a place where we can hole up for a while, since our, uh, own quarters are being cleaned up from last time."

Someone snapped her fingers, and the next thing Scum knew was a blast of cool but musty air was attacking her and a gruesome, horrific, painted face leaned over her and leered in an unpleasant manner.

She shrieked.