ONCE INSIDE
Disclaimer: M-X, Don't own them. Enjoy!
Thanks to every one reading my work. I LOVE the reviews and even more so, the e-mails. Please,,,keep it coming! :D
Now, that he actually had a chance to think about it, he and Shalimar had been a purely physical event. What man could resist constantly getting jumped on by a beautiful blonde? Intensity and danger followed their lust, locking in with them nearly every night behind closed doors. It was the rush of knowing he was risking his new home and family just as he'd risked many other things in life. There was an ironic safety in not having to face emotions with her. Every gesture, every stroke, every communication was three-dimensional and enveloped all of their senses. In that way, he was safe. Their 'relationship' didn't open doors of responsibility or emotional burden. It was strictly pure lust and sex-only part of what was churning for him in Jordan.
The raven-haired woman forced him to face things about him self, this in his old life would not have been an option. Even in his actions with the feral, part of him felt obligated to the woman he'd basically deemed as his savior. Never the less, she would always say he owed her nothing. It was these wants and desires-what- ifs that he kept from Shalimar, afraid that her feral side might find a strength to compensate for the human going weak. She said her 'feral' was trying to mark him as her mate, even though in her words they were a "friendship with fringe benefits". Her actions were attraction based and she couldn't determine if she'd be able to work towards something else. From what Brennen knew she had been in love with another feral, Richard. Losing him in an attempt to save her own life still had the woman healing.
"I don't get it, Jess. If Jordan had feelings for me, then why not say SOMETHING?"
Again, the molecular gave him that clueless look. "Because, to our eyes, you and Shal were in a relationship- not just sleeping together. And you seemed happy. Jordan wouldn't risk a friendship she'd known for years in the pursuit of a man- no insult meant."
"Non taken."
"Remember when we all found out about you two? We figured something was up, so there really wasn't a surprise. She distanced herself from you on purpose."
It was true. Jordan knew that Shalimar's abilities coveted the connection with her human side, and that any physical attachment could give way into her human emotions. The woman would not risk her friend's feelings for the sake of her own. She loved Shalimar enough to ensure her happiness, and Brennen enough to let him go before ever having him. His heart both flew and fell all at once.
"How do you know all this?"
"Well-"
"What are you two up to?" The men looked up to see Lexa walking from the direction of the garage. "I thought it was get drunk night for you two."
"Nope, just get away from you night." Jesse tried to hide his laugh at Brennen's comment, but of course that failed.
"Funny," The brunette started. "Well, since you two are up, you can go check out some new mutants downtown. They ran into some agents and are waiting for help."
Jesse leaned on his knees before getting up. "What are we looking at?"
"A pyro-kenetic and a telepath. They're near a club on Ivy and Bonaventure. And be careful, the pyro is mutating." She walked off, leaving the men to move towards the garage. The molecular seemed distant as Brennen got behind to wheel.
"Jess, you okay?"
"Yeah," he replied almost quietly. "Let's go."
The roads of StormKing were dark and only interrupted by the hum of the Jeep and radio. The blonde man looked at his teammate in thought. "You asked how I knew she had feelings for you."
"Yeah,,,"
"We were on a mission to pick up some mutants ages ago. And we were talking about taking a vacation. She wanted to go to Brazil- Carribana."
"She and her hot weather. How long ago was this?"
Jesse eyes seemed to flash at that. "Emma was still alive." Was all he said. "Anyway, things can be kept in for so long before an opportunity is missed. Y'know?"
The elemental nodded, reading everything between the lines. "I know."
"I remember it because we were joking about her partying in South America. She's said the only reason you and I'd go was for free sex."
"She knows me so well." The elemental smirked.
"Whatever, dude. She was the only one who knew Emma and I were together. You and Shalimar weren't the only ones with secrets. I was glad, because we had it to ourselves for awhile."
Brennen watched the man's face change. Somewhere in the purgatory of pain and joy lay the last memories the preceded his heart's cave in. If it meant torture the molecular would die to hold on to them.
"She tried to dance around it." He continued. "I asked when she was going to find someone; she said it was over before it started. I teased her bout it till she said it was you."
"But you already knew,,,"
"Of course." The man grinned, "Even before Emma picked up on it. That's why she said those things to you the way she did. No one thought that you'd take so long to pick it up. All brawn and no brains."
"I'm just letting you slide with the jokes, Rocky." The darker man grinned.
"Funny. She made me promise not to tell so I didn't. And honestly I don't blame her. It was either stay silent so Shal could be happy or show her feelings and cause division over a man-whore like you."
Brennen rolled his eyes at the blonde's grin. "One more time, dude. I warned you." Still, his mind couldn't believe there was an admission on the woman's part. Mentally, he was trying to piece the timeline to it all. Jesse said he knew long ago, but that mission he'd spoke of was recent, like a month or so ago. Right before the chaos at Naxcon. Right before he and Shalimar split.
Events seemed to spiral from there. That night, he and the feral had just come in from a mission. Their arguing rang across the halls of the then empty Sanctuary. They had known it wouldn't work, and though he didn't see it then, he now believed she had picked up on his inner struggles for Jordan (who's presence was still part-time in the mountain). If he had paid more attention to her words instead of his ego, he would have known for a fact. That night ended with the man sleeping in his own room, but by then, he'd been doing so for weeks. The next day, in the dojo, Shalimar came to him, hugged him and ended their 'relationship'. Somehow that truly left them as friends. And the attachment of emotion that had managed to bleed in dissipated over time. Now they were truly family- something they should have been all along.
"Did Shal confront Jordan about any of it?"
"Why would she? Shalimar knew Jordan wouldn't do anything to jeopardize their friendship or your 'relationship'. The only issue was Brennen Mulray. And she couldn't believe that Jordan would hold something like that in- especially over you."
"The feral always has jokes." Brennen was planning how to handle this in his mind. The awkwardness of carrying unsaid feelings had belonged only to him. The BMW stopped along a slim stretch of alley decorated with Japanese architecture.
"My GOD! I knew it!"
Brennen stepped out watching his teammate's face pale in realization. "Jess, what is it?"
The blonde took steps; several in fact, walking into a misty rain that if not for a streetlight, would be visible. He crouched down touching the street with his fingers. In that same spot, the light cast an almost redeeming glow onto his back and shoulders. And as ghostly as it was, the young man seemed to thrive in it.
"Jess."
"This it it." He started "This is it!"
Brennen stepped forward, thinking his teammate had finally cracked. "What is 'it'?"
His voice cracked, nearly echoing from the rift in his heart. "Emma. This where we first found Emma DeLauro."
Disclaimer: M-X, Don't own them. Enjoy!
Thanks to every one reading my work. I LOVE the reviews and even more so, the e-mails. Please,,,keep it coming! :D
Now, that he actually had a chance to think about it, he and Shalimar had been a purely physical event. What man could resist constantly getting jumped on by a beautiful blonde? Intensity and danger followed their lust, locking in with them nearly every night behind closed doors. It was the rush of knowing he was risking his new home and family just as he'd risked many other things in life. There was an ironic safety in not having to face emotions with her. Every gesture, every stroke, every communication was three-dimensional and enveloped all of their senses. In that way, he was safe. Their 'relationship' didn't open doors of responsibility or emotional burden. It was strictly pure lust and sex-only part of what was churning for him in Jordan.
The raven-haired woman forced him to face things about him self, this in his old life would not have been an option. Even in his actions with the feral, part of him felt obligated to the woman he'd basically deemed as his savior. Never the less, she would always say he owed her nothing. It was these wants and desires-what- ifs that he kept from Shalimar, afraid that her feral side might find a strength to compensate for the human going weak. She said her 'feral' was trying to mark him as her mate, even though in her words they were a "friendship with fringe benefits". Her actions were attraction based and she couldn't determine if she'd be able to work towards something else. From what Brennen knew she had been in love with another feral, Richard. Losing him in an attempt to save her own life still had the woman healing.
"I don't get it, Jess. If Jordan had feelings for me, then why not say SOMETHING?"
Again, the molecular gave him that clueless look. "Because, to our eyes, you and Shal were in a relationship- not just sleeping together. And you seemed happy. Jordan wouldn't risk a friendship she'd known for years in the pursuit of a man- no insult meant."
"Non taken."
"Remember when we all found out about you two? We figured something was up, so there really wasn't a surprise. She distanced herself from you on purpose."
It was true. Jordan knew that Shalimar's abilities coveted the connection with her human side, and that any physical attachment could give way into her human emotions. The woman would not risk her friend's feelings for the sake of her own. She loved Shalimar enough to ensure her happiness, and Brennen enough to let him go before ever having him. His heart both flew and fell all at once.
"How do you know all this?"
"Well-"
"What are you two up to?" The men looked up to see Lexa walking from the direction of the garage. "I thought it was get drunk night for you two."
"Nope, just get away from you night." Jesse tried to hide his laugh at Brennen's comment, but of course that failed.
"Funny," The brunette started. "Well, since you two are up, you can go check out some new mutants downtown. They ran into some agents and are waiting for help."
Jesse leaned on his knees before getting up. "What are we looking at?"
"A pyro-kenetic and a telepath. They're near a club on Ivy and Bonaventure. And be careful, the pyro is mutating." She walked off, leaving the men to move towards the garage. The molecular seemed distant as Brennen got behind to wheel.
"Jess, you okay?"
"Yeah," he replied almost quietly. "Let's go."
The roads of StormKing were dark and only interrupted by the hum of the Jeep and radio. The blonde man looked at his teammate in thought. "You asked how I knew she had feelings for you."
"Yeah,,,"
"We were on a mission to pick up some mutants ages ago. And we were talking about taking a vacation. She wanted to go to Brazil- Carribana."
"She and her hot weather. How long ago was this?"
Jesse eyes seemed to flash at that. "Emma was still alive." Was all he said. "Anyway, things can be kept in for so long before an opportunity is missed. Y'know?"
The elemental nodded, reading everything between the lines. "I know."
"I remember it because we were joking about her partying in South America. She's said the only reason you and I'd go was for free sex."
"She knows me so well." The elemental smirked.
"Whatever, dude. She was the only one who knew Emma and I were together. You and Shalimar weren't the only ones with secrets. I was glad, because we had it to ourselves for awhile."
Brennen watched the man's face change. Somewhere in the purgatory of pain and joy lay the last memories the preceded his heart's cave in. If it meant torture the molecular would die to hold on to them.
"She tried to dance around it." He continued. "I asked when she was going to find someone; she said it was over before it started. I teased her bout it till she said it was you."
"But you already knew,,,"
"Of course." The man grinned, "Even before Emma picked up on it. That's why she said those things to you the way she did. No one thought that you'd take so long to pick it up. All brawn and no brains."
"I'm just letting you slide with the jokes, Rocky." The darker man grinned.
"Funny. She made me promise not to tell so I didn't. And honestly I don't blame her. It was either stay silent so Shal could be happy or show her feelings and cause division over a man-whore like you."
Brennen rolled his eyes at the blonde's grin. "One more time, dude. I warned you." Still, his mind couldn't believe there was an admission on the woman's part. Mentally, he was trying to piece the timeline to it all. Jesse said he knew long ago, but that mission he'd spoke of was recent, like a month or so ago. Right before the chaos at Naxcon. Right before he and Shalimar split.
Events seemed to spiral from there. That night, he and the feral had just come in from a mission. Their arguing rang across the halls of the then empty Sanctuary. They had known it wouldn't work, and though he didn't see it then, he now believed she had picked up on his inner struggles for Jordan (who's presence was still part-time in the mountain). If he had paid more attention to her words instead of his ego, he would have known for a fact. That night ended with the man sleeping in his own room, but by then, he'd been doing so for weeks. The next day, in the dojo, Shalimar came to him, hugged him and ended their 'relationship'. Somehow that truly left them as friends. And the attachment of emotion that had managed to bleed in dissipated over time. Now they were truly family- something they should have been all along.
"Did Shal confront Jordan about any of it?"
"Why would she? Shalimar knew Jordan wouldn't do anything to jeopardize their friendship or your 'relationship'. The only issue was Brennen Mulray. And she couldn't believe that Jordan would hold something like that in- especially over you."
"The feral always has jokes." Brennen was planning how to handle this in his mind. The awkwardness of carrying unsaid feelings had belonged only to him. The BMW stopped along a slim stretch of alley decorated with Japanese architecture.
"My GOD! I knew it!"
Brennen stepped out watching his teammate's face pale in realization. "Jess, what is it?"
The blonde took steps; several in fact, walking into a misty rain that if not for a streetlight, would be visible. He crouched down touching the street with his fingers. In that same spot, the light cast an almost redeeming glow onto his back and shoulders. And as ghostly as it was, the young man seemed to thrive in it.
"Jess."
"This it it." He started "This is it!"
Brennen stepped forward, thinking his teammate had finally cracked. "What is 'it'?"
His voice cracked, nearly echoing from the rift in his heart. "Emma. This where we first found Emma DeLauro."