ONCE INSIDE
DISCLAIMER: M-X, Don't Own them, Enjoy!
Again, thanks for the reviews! Especially goldstranger! If you watched the show from the beginning, then you know that I referenced the very first episode of season 1 "Shock of the New", season two's "Lest He Become", and season three's "Into the Moonless Night". The rest of the story is a kind of picking at episodes. But the fanatics will recognize the early stuff.
It was in the darkness of the 'sanctuary' that they had waited, the quiet only interrupted by the molecular's painful breaths. Brennen had sat a pew ahead, his eyes balanced between watching his teammate and the door. Now, an hour later, he was at the stain glass window watching a full on rain. Behind him an all too familiar scene was going on.
"THIS," she said to the blonde. "Is the fourth designer shirt you've ruined this month."
The molecular smiled, watching his teammate lean down next to him. "I could say something, but we're in the wrong place." The man heaved between a broken laughter as Jordan sat back, her hand wrapped in his.
"I'll have to hold your hands because of the injury."
Easily, the man complied. His pale fingers slipped between the tan limbs and gripped intentionally in trust. The light slowly extruded from her form. Brennen turned to lean against the window casing, suddenly finding the scene interesting. He had yet to watch her heal someone, and obviously so did Lexa. She sat right behind them.
The blue-white rolled between them, pulling from her to him, then in reverse. Jesse convulsed for the moment, losing the feel of gravity that Brennen knew all too well. The room flooded in light, reflecting from the polished banisters and glowing in the colored windowpanes. Jordan sat only moving in a slow arch of her back. Her eyes had slipped closed, covering their pale state. The elemental's eyes remained still, taking in the slow disappearance of burnt skin and scarred flesh. Soon, it quickened, pulling purplish bruising from the returning tan. The flash between them, ended it, leaving the molecular Only scarred by the burnt hole in his shirt.
Brennen and Lexa exchanged glances before moving. Watching as Jesse sat up, and Jordan leaned on the backrest, her dark coat suddenly seemed heavy.
Lexa moved toward the woman. "No." she whispered. "Help Jess."
Truth be told, all she needed was to sit there. The woman leaned on an arm, steadying her breath in focus, and watched the blonde man sit up. Lexa stood helping him into a fresh shirt brought from Sanctuary.
Brennen still didn't know what to make of his family, or of the 'personalities' that made up this Mutant X- his Mutant X. The only person not present was the feral, who stayed to keep an eye on things at the rock. It was probably for the best, he thought. If Jess broke down at that place (where they first met Emma), then she wouldn't be able to stand from it. He shifted in his stance, watching the woman finally pull her strength back.
This was so odd now, seeing Jordan and knowing what he did. Through those eyes, with that information, she looked different. Now he could pick up on what Jesse had said. All of her attention had focused on the molecular, but more so avoided looking at him - at least while they were in a church.
"How's that?" she asked the now standing Jesse.
He patted his stomach, mocking the new flesh. "Well, I guess it'll work."
The woman looked at him, rolling her eyes. "I got up at four in the morning to come here. Be thankful I let that slide." The molecular smiled at the woman, kissing the top of her head, before moving to follow Lexa out the door.
"Jordan, you'll be okay?" she asked.
"I'm fine. Just let me sit a minute." With that, it was him and her, in the one place that managed to make them feel even more stained than before. Brennen was quiet in his thoughts, folding his arms and casting a strange silhouette against the glowing window. The woman turned to face him, toying with a hymnbook on the back of a preceding pew. This was strange indeed. "New for you, huh?"
He grinned, moving to sit on another row. "Never been in a church."
"Not even for a funeral?"
He leaned forward on the back of her row, resting his chin on crossed forearms. "Never stayed around long enough for one. But you?"
"What can I say? Communities are built around this place, more so who's in it." She picked up the book, absently flipping pages. "Still, there's not a place to feel more alone. Doesn't mean you are though."
"I wouldn't know." He replied.
"I can't really speak, Brennen. I'm a new mutant, who spends half her life in clubs and the other intentionally taking out 'opponents'. I think I've yet to stay on the straight and narrow."
"That I understand." He grinned.
"But, faith is faith, no matter the deity." Brennen watched as the woman leaned on her palm, the fingers covering her mouth in thought. It was just itching him to bring up their 'issues'. "As long as you believe."
"I don't think I believed anything for a long time, Jordan." Even his tongue felt different in saying her name. There was more of an intent in its pronunciation, just as hers had said his. They meant to speak of each other.
"How about now?"
He looked up to see her eyes, and for the first time since the dance floor, it hit him. Her look was a mask, not staying too long so someone could see behind it. Just then, she lowered her eyes to pick at the thread or her leather coat. Jordan couldn't face her own feelings much less share them. It scared her to. It was the reason she tensed at his kiss, and backed off when he pursued Shalimar. "What?"
"What do you believe now?"
The man stepped forward, tracing the wood grain bench with intent fingers. The elemental stood near her for a moment, directly staring down at the woman. Only she stayed picking at the garment, avoiding his gaze. His fingers pulled at a strand of the locs, making her eyes shift to him. "Anything's possible." The woman grinned at that. "Can you do me a favor?"
She shifted in the seat, watching Brennen move towards the isle and out the door. "Maybe."
"Could you," he grinned pulling on the brown duster. "Let me take your car back to the rock? I need to do some things."
"Sure. Lexa wanted to have Jess go in the SUV anyway." Brennen caught the tossed keys, and headed towards the door.
"And stay up." He replied. "I need to talk to you, later."
"If you're still awake." She smirked.
Brennen stepped out the door, moving to the Black sports car. His mind needed to wait till he was out of the Church. I will be, he thought. And so will you.
The clock read five-thiry a.m. She distinctly saw A.M. Five-thirty in the morning was roulette for anyone not dead, dying or deceased. The feral climbed out of bed, growling at the knocking on her door. This was the first time she'd been able to get sleep real sleep in a while. "Who EV-ER it is, is dead!"
She snatched the door open, growling even louder at the person. "You." She yawned, nearly closing the door. "What do you want?"
Brennen slipped in past the grumpy feral, and moved to sit on the foot of her bed. "Chair." She snapped in a low voice. "You lost all bed privileges."
"Just reminiscing." The elemental replied falling into the chair. "Jess is okay."
"Obviously," The woman fell back into bed, pulling the covers over her head. In a muffled tone "What do you want?" drifted through the sheets."
Brennen suppressed an urge to laugh at her. "Just to talk for a minute."
"Talk."
"I needed to tell you some things, Shal." He started. "First, I'm sorry for hurting you." The blonde head popped in dishevelment from under the covers.
"Go on."
"I was talking to Jesse tonight. Just on all my happenings since I've been here. I had needed to reflect on some stuff. He filled in some answers for me as well."
"Like." Small fingers rubbed her eyes, before falling back on the mattress.
"I'll get to that." He started. "But you first. Why did you really break up with me?"
She was awake at that. "Brennen, it's too damn early."
"I know. Now I just want the truth."
The woman sat up in a mess of blonde strands and wrinkled pajamas. To the elemental. she looked all of twelve. "Because we weren't working."
"Why did you pull me out of the kitchen that night?"
"Sparky," she replied. "It sounds like you have your own theory on that. Just spill it."
Brennen made a face in compliance. "Alright. You never intended to have a relationship with me."
"Like you did."
"Shal. We both knew what we got into. We talked about it time and time again. But you held out. You kept saying your feral had chosen me as a mate. It was the initial excuse we lived under."
"Brennen, it really is to early." She now pleaded.
"Then be straight with me."
The woman sat up, intending to suffocate the man with a pillow. "I slept with you to-"
"Compensate for Richards loss." He interjected.
"Who's talking here?" she snapped. "We were a 'happening' and we both new it. And my 'feral' did chose you, but the human didn't comply."
"We did bond though."
"Yes, we did." She moved to sit on the edge of the bed. "And we were both uncomfortable with it. Brennen, our bodies were there and maybe our minds. But the hearts were miles away. " Her hands rolled slowly around each other, processing in thought. "Mines still wanted Richard." Her eyes drifted to the window. "And yours wanted my best friend."
"And you knew it?" he asked.
"Yeah, but you didn't."
"Then why get involved with me to begin with?" he shifted in his chair, leaning into their conversation.
"Like I said, my feral chose you. But with Richard, all of me chose him. It wasn't just genetic similarities. I loved him." The woman listened to those words, replaying them again out loud. " I loved him."
" Shalimar, I never meant to use you."
"You didn't. If anything you got used." Her eyes now danced. "Even though I think you liked it."
"Y'know I did."
"But, it wasn't hard to see how you felt for Jordan. At first, it was the getting up at night, to catch her going out on missions. I mean, I understand that she was the first of us you knew here, but that got a little too frequent." The man was silent. "Then there was the bond between you two. When she was gone, you almost seemed offended. And I know Jordan knew things about you that we didn't but still, your closeness was NOT platonic."
Brennen still couldn't see how it was so obvious. He would have brushed it off as a woman thing, but Jesse saw it as well. The guy is a little sensitive, he thought.
"And there are the times you don't know about. Keep in mind Jordan never was as obvious as you. Men read like books. "
"What times?"
"The clubs, the missions, anything where you had an excuse to look at her."
"I had excuses to look at you too." He grinned.
"Yeah, but staring physically is one thing. YOUR eyes were hungry, dude.
Sometimes, it was almost funny."
"So what finally did it for you?"
The woman looked at him, searching his face for a start. "If I know anything about my friend, it's that she puts all of us before herself. Adam and the safe houses, Jess and Emma's relationship, even the one they all 'thought' WE had. It didn't take much to see that she had feelings for you. But, I knew she would never act, not if it meant hurting one of us." Her eyes narrowed for a moment as she fumbled with the silver ring on her finger. "Some of us know the meaning of this ring a lot more than others, and she knew it enough to sacrifice for me. And I felt guilty. She shouldn't have had to do that."
"But there was a moment wasn't there?" The man sat back, resting a booted foot on the edge of the bed he'd lay in so many nights. It once seemed natural to him, now something felt intrusive.
"Several. There was a night, when we had just-I guess you could call it 'making love'. And as much as I understood what we were -how we were, something in me knew you were thinking of her. But I was drowning in my own ghosts as well. Every time I closed my eyes, I felt you and saw Richard."
"Shal. I don't quite think Richard feels like me." He smirked.
"But Jordan feels like me?" That was angrily rhetorical. " As much as I knew I was wrong, I felt as equally wronged. And that was what did it."
"That's enough to do it."
"That and you said her name once." His eyes grew wide at that, ready to say something, but her hand gestured in a halt. "But, again I can't throw stones."
Brennen moved to sit by his former lover. His hand slipped into hers. "Shalimar," he started, looking for the words. "I think, more than anyone, you know the meaning of that ring. Jordan sacrificed, but you endured your ghosts and mine. In that, we both lost parts of our selves."
"Yeah," she started. "To each other."
"And I ended up hurting you." He continued. "That's something I have to live with. I told Jess earlier tonight, that I wasn't sure if I'd stay with Mutant X. But, this team gave me something I haven't truly appreciated. It'll take a while for me to heal the hurt I inflicted on you."
"Brennen, you don't get it. That HURT isn't something you have to heal! We did that the day we split. That situation was hurting us! I couldn't move on and you couldn't be with someone you really wanted. It hurt you as much as it did me. And somehow, Jordan not intervening only prolonged it and hurt her. We lost all around."
"Shal-"
"Brennen. I knew you wanted Jordan when we kissed. I slept with a man my best friend had, and STILL has feelings for. And do you know what she did? She wished us well. Even though her heart was caving in, she stepped back. I had sex with you not carrying an inch of the feelings that she did. And THAT was what carried her out of here on those long missions. She was too hurt to see us together. And do you know what she did when she found out we were just f-" The woman cut her anger, watching the man's face stare off in realization. "She," finished much more calmly. "She apologized to me. Jordan apologized for my pain as if SHE did something wrong!"
The elemental sat silent at that. His hand was still clasped in the feral's, only now her fingertips were pushing white into his knuckles. "Brennen, you slept with me, knowing where I wanted to be, and I did the same to you. You owe me nothing! Do you know how right it was to see you kiss her in the club tonight? And how guilty it felt to know I almost prevented that?"
"I do." He barely spoke. "Shalimar. I'm sorry. It sounds cheap, I know. But you mean more to me than you'll ever understand. This team and this place as well."
"It isn't cheap." she started. "You've changed since you first came here. That man didn't understand he could love someone. That man thought it okay to pursue two teammates, and that man existed for him self. Once you got inside this place, and this family, you learned to trust. Understanding that in a short time means a lot."
"I know I'm staying here." He said, trying to connect all the chaotic causes and their effects. "I know where I belong, I mean. And it's here with you guys. But I don't want a tension between you and I, or you and Jordan, if she chooses to be with me. If that's the case, then I won't pursue-"
"Brennen, SHUT-UP!" the blonde grinned. "Jordan is my family. If she's ever proven it, it's now. There will never be a tension or any barriers between us. As for you," Her other hand joined in their joined limbs. "If you don't follow your heart, I will kick you ass." She leaned into his shoulder at that, pulling the man into a hug. His arms wrapped her in the leather of his coat. "And when you go to her, you better pull out all the stops."
He grinned at the woman, rustling the blonde hair with his hand as she held him.
"Sanctuary is your home, Mulray. Just like you told me, don't forget where it is. You've corrupted Jesse too much to leave anyway."
"Oh, I know,,," his mind seeing the blonde man lose it over Emma again. "I think he's been around too any women for too long."
"Hey, don't start." The elemental stood, pulling Shalimar to the door with him. Now, things truly felt right. His place here, and his resolutions with the feral still left only the healing over Adam and Emma. That would never be complete.
He looked at the woman, kissing her forehead before pulling her into another hug. This felt right, and now he knew it was. The feral and elemental were at peace with their 'past' and that left only one thing for him. It'd been waiting secretly, put off since his tumultuous entrance to this place from Hill view. Now he could only hope that she had waited as well.
DISCLAIMER: M-X, Don't Own them, Enjoy!
Again, thanks for the reviews! Especially goldstranger! If you watched the show from the beginning, then you know that I referenced the very first episode of season 1 "Shock of the New", season two's "Lest He Become", and season three's "Into the Moonless Night". The rest of the story is a kind of picking at episodes. But the fanatics will recognize the early stuff.
It was in the darkness of the 'sanctuary' that they had waited, the quiet only interrupted by the molecular's painful breaths. Brennen had sat a pew ahead, his eyes balanced between watching his teammate and the door. Now, an hour later, he was at the stain glass window watching a full on rain. Behind him an all too familiar scene was going on.
"THIS," she said to the blonde. "Is the fourth designer shirt you've ruined this month."
The molecular smiled, watching his teammate lean down next to him. "I could say something, but we're in the wrong place." The man heaved between a broken laughter as Jordan sat back, her hand wrapped in his.
"I'll have to hold your hands because of the injury."
Easily, the man complied. His pale fingers slipped between the tan limbs and gripped intentionally in trust. The light slowly extruded from her form. Brennen turned to lean against the window casing, suddenly finding the scene interesting. He had yet to watch her heal someone, and obviously so did Lexa. She sat right behind them.
The blue-white rolled between them, pulling from her to him, then in reverse. Jesse convulsed for the moment, losing the feel of gravity that Brennen knew all too well. The room flooded in light, reflecting from the polished banisters and glowing in the colored windowpanes. Jordan sat only moving in a slow arch of her back. Her eyes had slipped closed, covering their pale state. The elemental's eyes remained still, taking in the slow disappearance of burnt skin and scarred flesh. Soon, it quickened, pulling purplish bruising from the returning tan. The flash between them, ended it, leaving the molecular Only scarred by the burnt hole in his shirt.
Brennen and Lexa exchanged glances before moving. Watching as Jesse sat up, and Jordan leaned on the backrest, her dark coat suddenly seemed heavy.
Lexa moved toward the woman. "No." she whispered. "Help Jess."
Truth be told, all she needed was to sit there. The woman leaned on an arm, steadying her breath in focus, and watched the blonde man sit up. Lexa stood helping him into a fresh shirt brought from Sanctuary.
Brennen still didn't know what to make of his family, or of the 'personalities' that made up this Mutant X- his Mutant X. The only person not present was the feral, who stayed to keep an eye on things at the rock. It was probably for the best, he thought. If Jess broke down at that place (where they first met Emma), then she wouldn't be able to stand from it. He shifted in his stance, watching the woman finally pull her strength back.
This was so odd now, seeing Jordan and knowing what he did. Through those eyes, with that information, she looked different. Now he could pick up on what Jesse had said. All of her attention had focused on the molecular, but more so avoided looking at him - at least while they were in a church.
"How's that?" she asked the now standing Jesse.
He patted his stomach, mocking the new flesh. "Well, I guess it'll work."
The woman looked at him, rolling her eyes. "I got up at four in the morning to come here. Be thankful I let that slide." The molecular smiled at the woman, kissing the top of her head, before moving to follow Lexa out the door.
"Jordan, you'll be okay?" she asked.
"I'm fine. Just let me sit a minute." With that, it was him and her, in the one place that managed to make them feel even more stained than before. Brennen was quiet in his thoughts, folding his arms and casting a strange silhouette against the glowing window. The woman turned to face him, toying with a hymnbook on the back of a preceding pew. This was strange indeed. "New for you, huh?"
He grinned, moving to sit on another row. "Never been in a church."
"Not even for a funeral?"
He leaned forward on the back of her row, resting his chin on crossed forearms. "Never stayed around long enough for one. But you?"
"What can I say? Communities are built around this place, more so who's in it." She picked up the book, absently flipping pages. "Still, there's not a place to feel more alone. Doesn't mean you are though."
"I wouldn't know." He replied.
"I can't really speak, Brennen. I'm a new mutant, who spends half her life in clubs and the other intentionally taking out 'opponents'. I think I've yet to stay on the straight and narrow."
"That I understand." He grinned.
"But, faith is faith, no matter the deity." Brennen watched as the woman leaned on her palm, the fingers covering her mouth in thought. It was just itching him to bring up their 'issues'. "As long as you believe."
"I don't think I believed anything for a long time, Jordan." Even his tongue felt different in saying her name. There was more of an intent in its pronunciation, just as hers had said his. They meant to speak of each other.
"How about now?"
He looked up to see her eyes, and for the first time since the dance floor, it hit him. Her look was a mask, not staying too long so someone could see behind it. Just then, she lowered her eyes to pick at the thread or her leather coat. Jordan couldn't face her own feelings much less share them. It scared her to. It was the reason she tensed at his kiss, and backed off when he pursued Shalimar. "What?"
"What do you believe now?"
The man stepped forward, tracing the wood grain bench with intent fingers. The elemental stood near her for a moment, directly staring down at the woman. Only she stayed picking at the garment, avoiding his gaze. His fingers pulled at a strand of the locs, making her eyes shift to him. "Anything's possible." The woman grinned at that. "Can you do me a favor?"
She shifted in the seat, watching Brennen move towards the isle and out the door. "Maybe."
"Could you," he grinned pulling on the brown duster. "Let me take your car back to the rock? I need to do some things."
"Sure. Lexa wanted to have Jess go in the SUV anyway." Brennen caught the tossed keys, and headed towards the door.
"And stay up." He replied. "I need to talk to you, later."
"If you're still awake." She smirked.
Brennen stepped out the door, moving to the Black sports car. His mind needed to wait till he was out of the Church. I will be, he thought. And so will you.
The clock read five-thiry a.m. She distinctly saw A.M. Five-thirty in the morning was roulette for anyone not dead, dying or deceased. The feral climbed out of bed, growling at the knocking on her door. This was the first time she'd been able to get sleep real sleep in a while. "Who EV-ER it is, is dead!"
She snatched the door open, growling even louder at the person. "You." She yawned, nearly closing the door. "What do you want?"
Brennen slipped in past the grumpy feral, and moved to sit on the foot of her bed. "Chair." She snapped in a low voice. "You lost all bed privileges."
"Just reminiscing." The elemental replied falling into the chair. "Jess is okay."
"Obviously," The woman fell back into bed, pulling the covers over her head. In a muffled tone "What do you want?" drifted through the sheets."
Brennen suppressed an urge to laugh at her. "Just to talk for a minute."
"Talk."
"I needed to tell you some things, Shal." He started. "First, I'm sorry for hurting you." The blonde head popped in dishevelment from under the covers.
"Go on."
"I was talking to Jesse tonight. Just on all my happenings since I've been here. I had needed to reflect on some stuff. He filled in some answers for me as well."
"Like." Small fingers rubbed her eyes, before falling back on the mattress.
"I'll get to that." He started. "But you first. Why did you really break up with me?"
She was awake at that. "Brennen, it's too damn early."
"I know. Now I just want the truth."
The woman sat up in a mess of blonde strands and wrinkled pajamas. To the elemental. she looked all of twelve. "Because we weren't working."
"Why did you pull me out of the kitchen that night?"
"Sparky," she replied. "It sounds like you have your own theory on that. Just spill it."
Brennen made a face in compliance. "Alright. You never intended to have a relationship with me."
"Like you did."
"Shal. We both knew what we got into. We talked about it time and time again. But you held out. You kept saying your feral had chosen me as a mate. It was the initial excuse we lived under."
"Brennen, it really is to early." She now pleaded.
"Then be straight with me."
The woman sat up, intending to suffocate the man with a pillow. "I slept with you to-"
"Compensate for Richards loss." He interjected.
"Who's talking here?" she snapped. "We were a 'happening' and we both new it. And my 'feral' did chose you, but the human didn't comply."
"We did bond though."
"Yes, we did." She moved to sit on the edge of the bed. "And we were both uncomfortable with it. Brennen, our bodies were there and maybe our minds. But the hearts were miles away. " Her hands rolled slowly around each other, processing in thought. "Mines still wanted Richard." Her eyes drifted to the window. "And yours wanted my best friend."
"And you knew it?" he asked.
"Yeah, but you didn't."
"Then why get involved with me to begin with?" he shifted in his chair, leaning into their conversation.
"Like I said, my feral chose you. But with Richard, all of me chose him. It wasn't just genetic similarities. I loved him." The woman listened to those words, replaying them again out loud. " I loved him."
" Shalimar, I never meant to use you."
"You didn't. If anything you got used." Her eyes now danced. "Even though I think you liked it."
"Y'know I did."
"But, it wasn't hard to see how you felt for Jordan. At first, it was the getting up at night, to catch her going out on missions. I mean, I understand that she was the first of us you knew here, but that got a little too frequent." The man was silent. "Then there was the bond between you two. When she was gone, you almost seemed offended. And I know Jordan knew things about you that we didn't but still, your closeness was NOT platonic."
Brennen still couldn't see how it was so obvious. He would have brushed it off as a woman thing, but Jesse saw it as well. The guy is a little sensitive, he thought.
"And there are the times you don't know about. Keep in mind Jordan never was as obvious as you. Men read like books. "
"What times?"
"The clubs, the missions, anything where you had an excuse to look at her."
"I had excuses to look at you too." He grinned.
"Yeah, but staring physically is one thing. YOUR eyes were hungry, dude.
Sometimes, it was almost funny."
"So what finally did it for you?"
The woman looked at him, searching his face for a start. "If I know anything about my friend, it's that she puts all of us before herself. Adam and the safe houses, Jess and Emma's relationship, even the one they all 'thought' WE had. It didn't take much to see that she had feelings for you. But, I knew she would never act, not if it meant hurting one of us." Her eyes narrowed for a moment as she fumbled with the silver ring on her finger. "Some of us know the meaning of this ring a lot more than others, and she knew it enough to sacrifice for me. And I felt guilty. She shouldn't have had to do that."
"But there was a moment wasn't there?" The man sat back, resting a booted foot on the edge of the bed he'd lay in so many nights. It once seemed natural to him, now something felt intrusive.
"Several. There was a night, when we had just-I guess you could call it 'making love'. And as much as I understood what we were -how we were, something in me knew you were thinking of her. But I was drowning in my own ghosts as well. Every time I closed my eyes, I felt you and saw Richard."
"Shal. I don't quite think Richard feels like me." He smirked.
"But Jordan feels like me?" That was angrily rhetorical. " As much as I knew I was wrong, I felt as equally wronged. And that was what did it."
"That's enough to do it."
"That and you said her name once." His eyes grew wide at that, ready to say something, but her hand gestured in a halt. "But, again I can't throw stones."
Brennen moved to sit by his former lover. His hand slipped into hers. "Shalimar," he started, looking for the words. "I think, more than anyone, you know the meaning of that ring. Jordan sacrificed, but you endured your ghosts and mine. In that, we both lost parts of our selves."
"Yeah," she started. "To each other."
"And I ended up hurting you." He continued. "That's something I have to live with. I told Jess earlier tonight, that I wasn't sure if I'd stay with Mutant X. But, this team gave me something I haven't truly appreciated. It'll take a while for me to heal the hurt I inflicted on you."
"Brennen, you don't get it. That HURT isn't something you have to heal! We did that the day we split. That situation was hurting us! I couldn't move on and you couldn't be with someone you really wanted. It hurt you as much as it did me. And somehow, Jordan not intervening only prolonged it and hurt her. We lost all around."
"Shal-"
"Brennen. I knew you wanted Jordan when we kissed. I slept with a man my best friend had, and STILL has feelings for. And do you know what she did? She wished us well. Even though her heart was caving in, she stepped back. I had sex with you not carrying an inch of the feelings that she did. And THAT was what carried her out of here on those long missions. She was too hurt to see us together. And do you know what she did when she found out we were just f-" The woman cut her anger, watching the man's face stare off in realization. "She," finished much more calmly. "She apologized to me. Jordan apologized for my pain as if SHE did something wrong!"
The elemental sat silent at that. His hand was still clasped in the feral's, only now her fingertips were pushing white into his knuckles. "Brennen, you slept with me, knowing where I wanted to be, and I did the same to you. You owe me nothing! Do you know how right it was to see you kiss her in the club tonight? And how guilty it felt to know I almost prevented that?"
"I do." He barely spoke. "Shalimar. I'm sorry. It sounds cheap, I know. But you mean more to me than you'll ever understand. This team and this place as well."
"It isn't cheap." she started. "You've changed since you first came here. That man didn't understand he could love someone. That man thought it okay to pursue two teammates, and that man existed for him self. Once you got inside this place, and this family, you learned to trust. Understanding that in a short time means a lot."
"I know I'm staying here." He said, trying to connect all the chaotic causes and their effects. "I know where I belong, I mean. And it's here with you guys. But I don't want a tension between you and I, or you and Jordan, if she chooses to be with me. If that's the case, then I won't pursue-"
"Brennen, SHUT-UP!" the blonde grinned. "Jordan is my family. If she's ever proven it, it's now. There will never be a tension or any barriers between us. As for you," Her other hand joined in their joined limbs. "If you don't follow your heart, I will kick you ass." She leaned into his shoulder at that, pulling the man into a hug. His arms wrapped her in the leather of his coat. "And when you go to her, you better pull out all the stops."
He grinned at the woman, rustling the blonde hair with his hand as she held him.
"Sanctuary is your home, Mulray. Just like you told me, don't forget where it is. You've corrupted Jesse too much to leave anyway."
"Oh, I know,,," his mind seeing the blonde man lose it over Emma again. "I think he's been around too any women for too long."
"Hey, don't start." The elemental stood, pulling Shalimar to the door with him. Now, things truly felt right. His place here, and his resolutions with the feral still left only the healing over Adam and Emma. That would never be complete.
He looked at the woman, kissing her forehead before pulling her into another hug. This felt right, and now he knew it was. The feral and elemental were at peace with their 'past' and that left only one thing for him. It'd been waiting secretly, put off since his tumultuous entrance to this place from Hill view. Now he could only hope that she had waited as well.