Chapter 5

Buffy opened the door with a frown. "Come on in."

Spike gave her the once over and smirked before entering the house. "You wearing that?"

"No, but you failed to mention where we were going so I didn't know how to dress. Fancy or casual or-"

"In your bathrobe is," he tilted his head to get a better look, "a nice statement."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "So what should I be wearing for this thing?"

"Jeans, sneakers...whatever's comfortable for you. You can stay like that. I don't have any problems with it."

"You're all talk," she joked, expecting Spike to at least smile at her. When he didn't, her frown came back, not knowing why he wasn't responding. "I'll, uh, go get ready." After a quick nod from him, she ran up the stairs and quickly put on her most comfortable jeans, a t-shirt and her sneakers. She grabbed her hooded zip-up and left her room.

"All ready," she said as she entered her living room to find Spike sitting on the couch. He looked over at her and she smiled. "Who says girls can not be in ready in five minutes or less?"

Ignoring her question, he asked, "Where's your mum?"

"Seattle. Dawn went with her. It's all about the gallery lately," Buffy told him with a shrug. He was becoming accustomed to her shrugs and how they worked. They weren't all shrugs saying "I don't know" but more often than not, they were used to make everything seem lighter. She used them as a defense mechanism just as he often found himself doing. So he knew instantly that it hurt her more than she let on. By shrugging, she was trying to brush off the pain but he knew that no matter what you tried, the hurt stayed.

"You alright?" he asked.

"Sure." Another shrug. "Are we going?"

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"Hiking? You really know how to woo a girl, Spike."

"There's not that much hiking. Have you been through these woods since you moved here?" He held out his hand to her and she grabbed it. He hoisted her onto the rock and looked down at her, smiling softly, before turning and heading up.

"No and is it dangerous? Are there bears? Or mountain lions? I have this problem with nature."

"What would that be?"

"Nature." They laughed softly as she ducked under the branch that Spike was holding up. "See when you walk, you should not have to dodge things."

"It's good for you, Summers. As far as I know there are no lions, tigers or bears."

"Oh my..." Buffy mumbled.

Spike snickered. "A little patience...that's all I'm asking for."

"You're such a pot."

"Yeah and you're my kettle." Her fingers tightened around his at the statement and he had to shake off the feeling that went through him. How did she do that to him? How could one little gesture put him both at ease and on edge all at the same time? Was that even possible? He quickly glanced behind him to see her to looking at the ground, watching where she was walking. Did she even know what she could do to him?

He saw the red material tied around a tree and turned to the right suddenly, making Buffy stumble a bit. Her hand quickly went to his lower back to steady herself and he turned to her.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, just tell me when you plan on turning abruptly."

"Well, if it's abruptly, there probably wouldn't be time to tell you."

"Then don't do that again," she said with a smile. "Are we close?"

"Very," he told her as he began to walk again. She slid her hand down a little lower until she felt the top of his jeans. She hooked her thumb through a belt loop and let her fingers rest along his waist. As they walked, her fingers moved slightly which caused those little sparks to run through him. The slightest of touches were all it took to make him want to prove to her that he wasn't all talk. "Stopping."

"Huh?"

"I'm going to stop walking. Didn't want you to crash into me."

"Thanks for the warning," she said as they stopped about five feet away from a cave. "Please tell me that's not where we're going." She pointed her flashlight in its direction.

"That's where we're going."

"It's a cave..."

"Well, look at Miss Observant," Spike teased. "There's something through there you need to see."

"My imminent death?"

"I've been in there more times than I can count and I'm fine," Spike reasoned.

"That's still up for debate." He pushed his body against her lightly and she giggled. "There's nothing living in there that will want to make us a meal, right?"

"If there is, I'll be sure to throw you in front of me and run like hell."

"And we wonder why you didn't have a girlfriend until Dru..." She looked up at him and stopped smiling. Damn, she did it again. When had she turned into Cordelia and lost her ability to be tactful? "I didn't-"

"Let's go." He started walking towards the entrance. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze which soothed her nerves somewhat but she was still kicking herself for even mentioning the crazy ex. Why didn't she just laugh at the joke? Tonight she had inadvertently hurt his feelings by kidding about his inexperience. Not that she found him to be but she assumed that he thought that he was due to his reactions. If they hadn't done the q & a the night before, she would have still been under the impression that he had been very experienced. Just from the way he held her, touched her and most importantly, kissed her, she had thought she was just the newest girl in a long line of them. She, obviously, had never been more wrong. Now, instead of being worried that she would be the one lacking, she found herself worrying if he thought she was too experienced. That definitely wasn't the case. Buffy made the decision to tell him the truth about her two, not at all memorable experiences when the time was right...or when he asked. However, she hoped he would ask because she really didn't want to bring it up.

They were at the entrance of the cave when he stopped again. He turned to her and asked, "Do you trust me?"

How the hell was she supposed to answer that? They were about to walk into a cave for Christ's sake and no one knew where they were if something were to happen to them. The fact that she barely knew him flittered through her mind but she dismissed it because that's not where her hesitation came from. She knew without any question that he wouldn't hurt her. However, telling him that she trusted him...that was taking another big step. Was she ready for that? Should she go with her gut instinct of yes or should she actually take the time and think about the repercussions from saying yes? Trust was as important to her as love was. Without it, she didn't understand how you got to the other. She slowly raised her eyes to meet his gaze and her breath caught in her chest. Maybe to the outside observer, it would appear that Spike was merely looking at her but she saw it in his eyes. The moon's light made them dance with his anxiousness and hope. Definitely hope. She nodded her head and he sighed before leading them in.

So she didn't say it out loud. It didn't mean she wouldn't one day.

"We need to walk through the cave to get there. You good with that?"

"Our two little flashlights aren't exactly cutting it. I can barely see."

Spike chuckled and said, "I'll lead you. Five minutes blind, tops."

"Fine but you so owe me." He body began to tingle when he pulled her to his body. He moved behind her and the sound of disappointment she made was out of her before she had the chance to stop it. He placed one hand on her hip and he nudged her a bit to get her to start walking. He moved his flashlight around the cave, making sure there was nothing there. They walked in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, neither feeling the need to say anything.

"Almost there," he said, trying to calm her nerves.

She turned her head a bit to look at him. "The shadows are very disconcerting, you know. Plays tricks with your brain." She heard a noise in the distance and her body grew tight. "What's that noise?"

"It's nothing...a few more feet," he reassured her.

"What is that?" she asked quietly, more to herself than to him. He tightened his grip on her hip and stopped her. The air felt different here, like there actually was some and she saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

"Are we going through there?" she asked, pointing to the small opening that was two feet in front of them. She tried to get a better look outside but couldn't see anything but trees through the hole. "Are we even going to fit through there?"

"Yes and yes."

The light breeze from the opening felt nice on Buffy's heated skin. The air was damper, misty almost. She furrowed her brow trying to figure it out when she felt Spike lean against her back and his breath against her ear. She shivered slightly and waited.

"Close your eyes."

"I definitely won't be able to see then," she immediately said and grimaced from the stupidity of the statement. He stood in front of her and looked at her in that way before she rolled her eyes and closed them. He took her hand and led her to the opening. Spike hoped that she wouldn't jump to any conclusions about why he brought her to this place. He only wanted to share a place that had been able to drive away many a crazy moments for him. He slanted her body and led her through to the outside.

"We're here," he whispered and it took a lot of her might not to kiss him senseless because that was really all she cared to do at the present moment.

She opened her eyes and her mouth fell open in a silent gasp. She looked at him quickly and turned back to take in the surroundings. She looked up and could see slivers of moonlight through the tops of the trees.

"This is...wow. Can you go in there?" She walked over to the good sized body of water and let her eyes roam over it. How could she never have known this was here? Leave it to Spike to find a hidden pond in Sunnydale. She moved her flashlight around and saw the small waterfall from the rocks that were about ten feet away. The water led to the pool and flowed out into a brook that went down the side of the cliff.

"It's like bath water. I've had no weird side effects since I've been coming here so I think it's safe."

"It this from a natural spring? I didn't think they really existed. Thought it was a myth, you know? Propaganda from the spring water companies," she said with a laugh. "How did you find it?"

"I went exploring a few months after we moved here. Came across the cave-"

"Which you just went into without thinking if maybe some big nasty lived there?"

"Yeah, well, if I see something that strikes my interest, safety be damned." A smile flickered across his lips as he thought the cave could work as an analogy for his time spent with Buffy as of late. "I had a flashlight to see and I have two legs to run on if something started to chase me."

"Sure, if it didn't bite them off first."

"Anyway, I came in, walked all over and found this opening."

"How deep is it?" she asked, bending down to feel the water. Amazing. Just as Spike had said; it was like bath water. Perfect, actually.

"About six feet."

"So you just float around? Doesn't that become uncomfortable after a couple of minutes? You should get a raft or something! Or one those hideous pool chairs that have the cup holders in the arm."

"Not really big enough for rafts, Buffy. Besides rocks stick out all over so you can sit and relax."

"I'm starting to think only you could sit on a rock and relax. So you don't know where the water actually comes from?"

"There's a good sized mountain about fifteen miles up, maybe it starts from there and runs down. With all the earthquakes California has, I thought maybe it ruptured the earth here and caused the water to surface." He shrugged. "I'm not exactly a natural water formation specialist."

"Have you followed the brook down?" Buffy asked, pointing to it.

"Yeah, ends up in the park's lake and then where it goes, nobody knows."

"Wow, it's just so cool. Too bad you didn't tell me where we were going. I would have brought a suit and a towel..."

"You could still go in. You are wearing under garments, aren't you?"

"Have you ever walked a long distance with wet clothes under dry ones? Not comfortable," she answered. "I suppose I could just not wear them on the way back..."

"Or not wear them in." She looked up at him, her eyes wide. "I am, of course, kidding."

"No, you're not! You are completely serious," she said, laughing. She stood up from the pool of water and walked over to him. "Has anyone else ever come here when you've been here?"

"No."

"I will if you will," she offered. It was his turn for the wide-eyed look. She giggled and felt her face flush at her own brazenness. "I'll make you a deal." He nodded for her to continue. "There's no looking until we get in the water and even then, we will both need to try our hardest not to stare at the other."

"Sounds fair," he barely said.

"That's not all of it. I want you to tell me something-"

"Anything," he said a bit too quickly and Buffy had to stifle her laugh at his eagerness. She wasn't looking to go for her third round-a-bout insult of the night. "I mean, yeah, sure, whatever."

"Oh, because that was so much better," she kidded and was relieved when he gave her a shy smile. "Whatever I ask, you'll tell me."

"Any subject?" She nodded. "And I have to answer it?" She nodded again. "Do you know that it's something I don't want to talk about so you're using this opportunity to get me to tell you?" She smirked and nodded yet again. "Tricky."

"Me? I'm beginning to think you knew exactly what was going to happen when you brought me up here."

"No, I only wanted to show-"

"I'm sort of kidding with you, Spike," Buffy interrupted with a smile. "So you really didn't have any plans of the skinny dipping variety?"

"I hoped, but I didn't expect it to happen," he said, quietly. "Can I ask you a question, too?"

"Absolutely," Buffy answered without hesitation.

"I believe we have a deal, Summers."

"Okay," she said nervously. "Turn. No peeking." Spike turned and Buffy undressed quickly. She went to the water and slowly moved her way in. "Now you're sure there's nothing in here that's going to try and eat me, right?"

Spike choked down his natural response and just said, "No. You done?"

"Yup and I'm facing the other way so I can't see you."

Spike turned around and couldn't help but smile when he saw Buffy facing him. She blushed and slowly turned in the opposite direction. She felt her heart speed up when she heard the soft noise of the zipper coming undone and the rustling of clothes coming off. She wondered if he had the same reactions to it. She knew she was treading on a fairly dangerous path but she realized rather quickly that her time spent with Spike had been all about the moments. If she hadn't acted on the first one in the backyard all those weeks ago, she would not be here now. If she hadn't gone back to his room last week, she would be sitting at home, berating herself for her being scared. Seize the day she thought with a smile.

"I'm coming in," Spike announced.

"Mm-hmm." She squeezed her eyes shut and her entire body tensed when she heard the splash of water. "In?"

"In."

She opened her eyes and was surprised to see him wading in front of her. She looked all over, willing herself not to look at him. She was afraid that if she dared to even look at his face that she wouldn't be able to stop herself from lowering her gaze. Spike, however, didn't seem to be having the same problem as she could feel his eyes boring through her.

"Stop."

"Stop what?" Spike asked, confused.

"Staring at me. It's throwing me off."

"I'm not looking anywhere besides here," he told her, lightly touching her cheek.

She finally looked at him and sighed. "Yeah, that's the problem. Can't you do what I'm doing?"

"What? Searching around frantically for something else to look at? No."

"Isn't this entire situation freaking you out in the slightest?"

"This was your idea, Goldilocks," Spike pointed out and tried to not to laugh.

"I was all loopy from the high altitude!" Buffy screeched, flinching at her own high pitched voice.

"These excuses of yours get better all the time. We can always leave but we're here, already in the water..."

"Already naked." Her eyes went wide and she snapped her mouth shut. Instead of saying anything or waiting for him to say anything, she ducked her head under the water and pushed herself down.

Spike looked down but couldn't see anything. He was starting to wonder what exactly they were playing at being here. He had thought they'd sit and talk or stick their feet in. He didn't think he'd be floating in the water with the both of them naked as newborns. He wasn't about to complain but it was a strange situation. He hadn't answered Buffy when she asked, but he was definitely, as she so eloquently put it, "freaked" out.

Buffy's head popped out of the water and she breathed in deeply. She looked at him shyly and said, "I resisted pulling you under. All I could think of was Jaws but I refrained."

"Thanks ever so." His face broke out in a wicked grin and he went under the water.

"Spike?" she asked, knowing it was fruitless. She felt a brush against her leg and hesitantly touch along her calf until it reached her ankle. His fingers wrapped around it and she took a deep breath before he tugged her down.

He broke the surface first and swam backwards towards to the side of the pool. Buffy resurfaced and smiled when she saw him relaxing against the side with his arms stretched out. She put her head back under the water and stuck her hand up on top of her head, simulating a fin, and swam slowly towards him. He laughed out loud and watched as she came closer to him. Buffy lifted her head out of the water, pushing back the hair that stuck to her forehead and smiled. She moved his legs apart and moved between them.

"Buffy," Spike began only to stop when Buffy shook her head.

"Why didn't you sleep with Dru?"

Spike groaned and put his head back against the rocks. "So that's the question, huh?"

"If it's too personal-"

"No, we have a deal. You've held up your end quite nicely."

"Well, I try..."

"I'm not really sure how to explain this..." Buffy waited patiently for him to continue. "Can you sit over there or beside me? It's very distracting with you between my legs."

Buffy blushed and ducked her head. "I'm sorry...I didn't realize..." She began to back away when he reached out his hand to hers and stopped her. "I thought you wanted me to go."

"There's room here, beside me."

"I can't." He tilted his head, the unspoken question in his eyes. "The rock is too high. The water won't cover me." She moved her hand back and forth in front of her chest. Spike's mouth formed in an o-shape as he realized what she meant. "I don't think you realize how lucky you men have it."

"Then stay where you were."

"Not if it makes you uncomfortable."

"Wait right there then," he told her and left his perch. He swam around, touching the wall of the spring, ducking under the water every other minute. He turned to her and said, "We can both sit here."

She paddled over to him and felt blindly for the rock that he was already sitting on. She grabbed his leg by accident and she heard the small sound escape him. When she finally found the edge, she moved her body to it and took a seat. The water was just below her collarbone and she smiled.

"How'd you do that?"

"I'm brilliant," he answered, slyly.

"Oh, yeah." She slapped her head playfully. "I forgot. Forgive me?"

He nodded and sighed. "Are we going to do this?" Her eyes went wide and he laughed lightly. "Another question and answer period."

"Oh...right. So what happened?" Buffy felt her body relax considerably.

"First off and I'm not sure you even want to hear this but Dru and I did everything but have sex-"

"Yeah, you were right about that," she mumbled as her stomach clenched in a tight knot.

"Over sharing?"

"Maybe just a little."

"You let me know, then, alright?" Buffy nodded. "There isn't this grand explanation about why I haven't had sex yet. I just haven't."

"Please don't take this the wrong way and this is one of those 'leave out the details' times but you were with Dru for a couple of months and you did whatever it was that you did together...and sex never came up? She didn't want to, either?"

"No, she did. At least that's what her reason was for cheating on me," he shrugged. "Two months is nothing, Buffy. In the grand scheme of things, it's no time at all. Nobody needs to jump right into it."

"So if I said I wanted you to take me now, you'd say no?"

He hesitated at first and then said, "Yes, I would." Buffy stared at him wide-eyed, her mouth opening and closing. He laughed softly, reached a hand out and ran his fingers down the exposed part of her arm. "But I'd want to say yes."

"Oh," she squeaked.

"You asked..."

"No, no, it's fine. I...So, why are you waiting?"

"I'm not telling you that. It's silly. Makes me seem overly romantic and like quite the poof."

"Just tell me. I'm not all judge-y, you know." He shot her a look and she smiled shyly. "Most of the time, I'm not."

"I wanted it to be special."

Buffy felt her skin tingle at his admission. "And it wouldn't have been with Dru?"

"Someone special," he amended quietly.

"She wasn't?"

"Don't make me say it, Buffy."

"Say what?" she asked, confused. "Spike?" He reluctantly looked at her before he leaned down and softly touched his lips to hers. When he pulled away from her lips, his mouth went to her cheek and down to her neck. "Spike?"

"Hm?"

"Am I special enough?" she whispered.

He removed his lips from her neck and looked at her. He moved closer to her and cupped her jaw in his hand. Before he had the chance to kiss her, Buffy ducked and swam away from him. Spike shook his head free from the haze his brain was clouded with and looked over to where she was.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked, before swimming over to her.

"Stay right there," Buffy told him sternly.

"I didn't mean to-"

"You didn't do anything wrong, Spike. But you have a question to ask and I think that's what we should be doing."

"We don't have to continue..."

"I think we should. We seem to be having the sex talk so you should ask me."

"How'd you know?"

"It was about as obvious as what my question was going to be," she told him with a smile.

"Who's the second wanker and where is he?"

"His name is Riley and I used him to rebound. It wasn't horrible but it wasn't great. He was nice enough but not what I wanted. I think I was just looking for someone to treat me like a queen."

"And he didn't?"

"No, he did but he joined the army, so off he went. Like I said he wasn't what I wanted so it all worked out in the end. So, yeah, what you said...last night? About me using it to get over Angel? That was the right assumption."

"How long did that go on for?"

"Um, Angel left at the beginning of July...I met Riley about a week or two after that...About a month."

"A month?" he asked, surprised.

"I'm not...I don't hop into bed with men. I know it may seem that way but-"

"But nothing. You don't need to explain anything to me."

"I want to, though. Angel and I...our entire relationship was for show. Who knows when we stopped liking each other...probably after the sex. I loved him but I don't think I liked him for a long time. Does that make sense?" Spike nodded. "And with Riley...it was part getting over Angel and part trying to see if I was really bad at all the sex stuff."

"All?"

"Everything having to do with it. Angel said...he said I needed a lot of practice," she finished, quietly.

He reached out for her arm and pulled her to him. He tried to ignore the feeling of her breasts lightly touching his own chest and said, "To think that blighter said...You are lovely, Buffy." He brushed his thumb along her lips. "If the way you kiss is any indication, you have nothing to worry about."

Buffy grabbed his shoulders and began kicking her feet. She propelled them over to the wall and stopped before Spike's back hit the rocks. She crushed her lips to his. His hands went to her wet hair and he moaned as she pushed herself against his body.

She ripped her mouth from his abruptly and panted. "Can I confess something to you?"

"Yeah," he breathed out before attacking her neck.

"I moved my bed over the summer...oh, that's nice..."

"I noticed and thank you." He laughed lightly against her neck and continued to nibble.

"I moved it so I could see...you." Spike looked at her and she giggled at the look of shock on his face. "I thought you would have figured that out by now."

"I wondered but I didn't presume to think..."

"Presume to think? That sounds so posh. Even your accent sounded more refined."

"Don't mock me. It's not nice." He snapped his teeth at her and she laughed harder. "Should we go?"

"Why don't we stay for a little bit?"

"Because you're still naked and leaning against me. It's taking all my strength not do go against my words from earlier tonight."

"So go against them," she whispered in his ear.

He clenched his jaw and moaned before pushing her away. "We can't. Not like this."

"But there's other...stuff, right?"

"Sure but..."

"But what? You did whatever you did with Dru without ever doing the deed...so why shouldn't we at least start? Get the ball rolling, so to speak."

"I don't want to rush into anything."

"We're not rushing, exactly. Okay, we haven't done anything but kiss in the last month but maybe we could...I don't know. I've not done anything but the sex so I'm not entirely sure what you do when you're not doing that-"

"Wait a minute, luv. What did you say?"

"Angel and I...we had sex that one time and before that, it was all kissing and a little groping on his end. With Riley...pretty much the same thing...and now I'm over-explain-it girl."

"You're telling me that those poncers didn't touch you, didn't kiss you? Didn't take full advantage of what you have to offer?"

"That is exactly what I'm saying."

"Bloody fools," Spike muttered. He ran his hand down her wet hair and smiled. "Some day soon, we'll teach each other all sorts of things."

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