Disclaimer: I don't own Everwood, the town, or its characters. I'm just a
college student.
Chapter 5 uses the song "I give, you take" by Maria.
A/N: yes, I know this song is from a girl's perspective, but in this case it works for Ephram. I think it does at least (
Chapter 5: I give, you take
Ephram fell onto his bed, staring at the picture of Amy he had on his wall. It had been a little over a week. Had he done the right thing? Yes, he had. She needed help and it would've been selfish to keep her from getting it. Ephram's every breath ended in gasps now. He pictured her in a place that would scare her, in a home.
At first he felt scared and nervous, then the anger began to rise. "How could she do this to me? How could she do it to herself? Alcohol? I'M HERE! Why did she need alcohol? Wasn't I there for her? Wasn't I good enough? I'M NEVER GOOD ENOUGH!" he started tearing Amy's picture off the wall and into little pieces. "Damn you, Amy Abbott. Damn you for taking my heart for granted! Damn you..*he began crying* for taking my heart..with you."
```````````````````````````````````````
"If you cut, I will bleed
bring me down to my knees
make me feel what I am is never good enough
can you help me understand
thought I made you a better man
Guess somehow another way things just change
It seems just like a distant memory
that you used to be good for me
but baby now it's clear
I give, you take
somehow it's gonna break
I pray for the strength
I hate to say I know it can't go on this way
I give, you take
I know we're gonna break
and it hurts my soul
I hate to say we can't go on this way"
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` ``
Madison walked in. She stood at the door and watched him tear Amy's picture up into tiny, bitter pieces.
"Ephram.Eph."
"What Madison? What?! I'm fine! Just go, leave! Get out!
"You're in pain.she's gone now, no more worries. Let go of her.like she let go of you so long ago."
"No more worries, Madison? Let GO, you say? Can't you see that I didn't want her to go? Can't you see I'm going insane; that I CAN'T let her go? I'm worried if she's scared, if she's lonely. If she hates me?"
"Why are you tearing up her picture then if you miss her so much?" she said coming closer and sitting on his bed.
"I can't stand to look at her. It makes me feel like I've failed.like she's there because of me."
"Ephram, she's there because of her choices. She's there because she loves Colin and he's gone."
"I KNOW that she loves Colin, Madison! I know! Okay?"
"You're jealous."
"No, I'm not jealous, I'm angry. I'm angry because I love her. I'm angry because I'm not good enough to help her. I'm angry because.she loves me and I can't tell if she's ready or not."
Madison crept closer to him. He let her.
"You need a woman that can appreciate you. Why do you wait for her day after day?"
"Sorry If I don't take kindly to you degrading the woman I love, but seriously, back off, okay? You aren't doing anything but making it worse, Madison."
Madison left angrily. What did she care anyway? Ephram found himself sitting down at the piano and playing the song he wrote for Amy. As the tears slid down his face, he became angry.as if his pounding on the keys would heal the pain of her absence.
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` `````````````````
"with your words, you pull me in
I always lose I just can't win
and though I see, my heart is blind it gives in every time
you got me on constant repeat I need a cure or a remedy
cuz if I stay there won't be nothing left for me
it seems just like a distant memory
that you used to be good for me
but now it's clear
I give, you take
somehow it's gonna break
I pray for the strength
I hate to say I know it can't go on this way
I give, you take
I know we're gonna break
and it hurts my soul
I hate to say we can't go on this way"
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
He knew in some ways Madison was right. He had forgotten what it felt like to breathe without Amy; how it felt to live without Amy. Maybe he was just too used to being dependent on her. What he needed was to numb the pain. What he didn't know was that he would soon try to numb it in the most unforgivable of ways.
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
"Now there's nothing left for us to save
and only bitterness remains
what we have is like a house of cards
and it's falling apart
now it's impossible to get it back with the bridges that you've
burned
i guess it's time to walk away
cuz now it's so clear
I give, you take
somehow it's gonna break
I pray for the strength
I hate to say I know it can't go on this way
I give, you take
I know we're gonna break
and it hurts my soul
I hate to say we can't go on this way"
Chapter 5 uses the song "I give, you take" by Maria.
A/N: yes, I know this song is from a girl's perspective, but in this case it works for Ephram. I think it does at least (
Chapter 5: I give, you take
Ephram fell onto his bed, staring at the picture of Amy he had on his wall. It had been a little over a week. Had he done the right thing? Yes, he had. She needed help and it would've been selfish to keep her from getting it. Ephram's every breath ended in gasps now. He pictured her in a place that would scare her, in a home.
At first he felt scared and nervous, then the anger began to rise. "How could she do this to me? How could she do it to herself? Alcohol? I'M HERE! Why did she need alcohol? Wasn't I there for her? Wasn't I good enough? I'M NEVER GOOD ENOUGH!" he started tearing Amy's picture off the wall and into little pieces. "Damn you, Amy Abbott. Damn you for taking my heart for granted! Damn you..*he began crying* for taking my heart..with you."
```````````````````````````````````````
"If you cut, I will bleed
bring me down to my knees
make me feel what I am is never good enough
can you help me understand
thought I made you a better man
Guess somehow another way things just change
It seems just like a distant memory
that you used to be good for me
but baby now it's clear
I give, you take
somehow it's gonna break
I pray for the strength
I hate to say I know it can't go on this way
I give, you take
I know we're gonna break
and it hurts my soul
I hate to say we can't go on this way"
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` ``
Madison walked in. She stood at the door and watched him tear Amy's picture up into tiny, bitter pieces.
"Ephram.Eph."
"What Madison? What?! I'm fine! Just go, leave! Get out!
"You're in pain.she's gone now, no more worries. Let go of her.like she let go of you so long ago."
"No more worries, Madison? Let GO, you say? Can't you see that I didn't want her to go? Can't you see I'm going insane; that I CAN'T let her go? I'm worried if she's scared, if she's lonely. If she hates me?"
"Why are you tearing up her picture then if you miss her so much?" she said coming closer and sitting on his bed.
"I can't stand to look at her. It makes me feel like I've failed.like she's there because of me."
"Ephram, she's there because of her choices. She's there because she loves Colin and he's gone."
"I KNOW that she loves Colin, Madison! I know! Okay?"
"You're jealous."
"No, I'm not jealous, I'm angry. I'm angry because I love her. I'm angry because I'm not good enough to help her. I'm angry because.she loves me and I can't tell if she's ready or not."
Madison crept closer to him. He let her.
"You need a woman that can appreciate you. Why do you wait for her day after day?"
"Sorry If I don't take kindly to you degrading the woman I love, but seriously, back off, okay? You aren't doing anything but making it worse, Madison."
Madison left angrily. What did she care anyway? Ephram found himself sitting down at the piano and playing the song he wrote for Amy. As the tears slid down his face, he became angry.as if his pounding on the keys would heal the pain of her absence.
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` `````````````````
"with your words, you pull me in
I always lose I just can't win
and though I see, my heart is blind it gives in every time
you got me on constant repeat I need a cure or a remedy
cuz if I stay there won't be nothing left for me
it seems just like a distant memory
that you used to be good for me
but now it's clear
I give, you take
somehow it's gonna break
I pray for the strength
I hate to say I know it can't go on this way
I give, you take
I know we're gonna break
and it hurts my soul
I hate to say we can't go on this way"
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
He knew in some ways Madison was right. He had forgotten what it felt like to breathe without Amy; how it felt to live without Amy. Maybe he was just too used to being dependent on her. What he needed was to numb the pain. What he didn't know was that he would soon try to numb it in the most unforgivable of ways.
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
"Now there's nothing left for us to save
and only bitterness remains
what we have is like a house of cards
and it's falling apart
now it's impossible to get it back with the bridges that you've
burned
i guess it's time to walk away
cuz now it's so clear
I give, you take
somehow it's gonna break
I pray for the strength
I hate to say I know it can't go on this way
I give, you take
I know we're gonna break
and it hurts my soul
I hate to say we can't go on this way"