Title: I Can't Be Your Friend
Author: RaeAnne
Rating: G-PG
Synopsis: same
Spoilers: same
DISCLAIMER: See chapter 1
Authors Note: This chapter is somewhat inspired by a country song of the same name by Tim Rushlow. Thank you to LeeT911 for the tips and review, I can use all the help I can get! :-)
Chapter 2
I Can't Be Your Friend
I'm tired, I am at the end. My created world of which you are my center seems to be spinning on a slanted axis. I can't be your friend. I've been your friend; I've been your confidant, your back up plan, in ways I believe your salvation. But while I will be all those and more, I'm afraid I can't be your friend. For with being your friend comes a price that is too high to pay. Close to you but not close enough, I hear all your secrets… all but the ones I want to know the worst, I want to know that if somewhere in that maze you call a heart there is a path that leads you to me.
I came to this dreary little town angry, rigid and without a friend. We became friends out of a mutual need. I somehow found faith in your faith, you had a cause to fight for, and you had a reason to rise in the morning. I had little, I had a mess I couldn't find a way out of, my reason became you, and your cause became my cause. Now that cause has been taken from you, your reason to get up gone. You fell into the darkness I have just found my way out of. I've tried to pull you up; you've just dragged me down. I have found I can live on my own, I no longer have to live on the reasons of you, but I now find my reason within my own life, with in my own inner battle ground. I battle myself every time I see you, I want to scream, to tell you every little thing I feel, how I love the way your eyes light up, the way you hair sways in the wind. Every detail I've memorized. But I can't do this; I can't be just the back up, just the second choice. I want to be the first on your list, I want you to love me the way I love you.
I've tried to find someone else, I thought I found someone to take your place, but I discovered that I was doing to them what you do to me… letting them be my second choice. I won't do that, I know how it hurts. You're in my system, in my blood, you move through out me like a cancer you destroy me from the inside out. But while you kill me when you play your indifference, that one sweet smile, or soft laugh has me hooked again, hanging on the line hoping for one more to sustain me till you honor me with another. I can't do it anymore; I can't let the mind games continue. Be my enemy, I know I have been yours many a time, be indifferent, what ever you want… just not what I am now, because I know I just can't be your friend.
(AN: Next chapter will be the start of the story. I hope to have it out soon thank you so much for reading! RA ---(@ )