Title: In the Absence of Memory
Author: Yih
Disclaimer: All characters & original universe belong to J.K. Rowling.
Spoiler Warning: There are spoilers of OotP in this fanfic. They are embedded into the fanfic. I won't tell you which are spoilers and which aren't, but readers that haven't read OotP should be aware that they are in the fanfic.
Thanks to my wonderful beta-reader, SERRA!
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I wake up
I don't know who I am
It's all lost
Those memories of me
Nothing's there
Not anymore, it's gone
Gone away
To a place, far away
I run hard
Attempting to get there
Where is there?
I don't know, I don't know
Wish I did
Wish I could remember
But I don't
The memories are gone
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2: Bonding (June 30, 2003 to July 4, 2003)
The boy had been prepared for the bonding ritual by Lucius, while he didn't trust the man like he trusted Bella he had been the best choice for the job. While Bella hid her animosity well, she couldn't hide it well enough for Voldemort to place the boy into her care. She'd probably try to torture the boy somehow and that couldn't be allowed. The boy needed to be at full strength for the bond to be the most powerful it could be. The more powerful the bond, the more dominant his power over the boy would be, the more he could drain the magical essence out of the boy.
It had been decided by him in the last minutes that the bonding would take place in front of the rest of the Death Eaters that were left. He wanted to make it clear and reassert to what was left of his minions that he had triumphed over the Boy Who Lived. It wouldn't hurt to show them what dark magic the bonding curse was and how powerful the wizard had to be to pull it off. No, it'd teach them and make them more aware of what a forceful Dark Lord he truly was. They seemed to be forgetting this as their numbers dwindle when they shouldn't.
He narrowed his crimson eyes into deadly slits. So be it, they would know after this that he'd truly be the most powerful wizard on the face of the Earth. Nothing would stop him once he'd drained Harry Potter's magical essence for himself, and enjoy it immensely he would. Nothing would please him more than to know he'd have the powerful and the pleasure to suck the will and determination out of the resolutely stubborn Gryffindor. And it was almost time, almost time to make his arch nemesis energy his as well.
His eyes filled with a wicked gleam when they rested on the blazing green fire he saw in Harry's fierce orbs. If Harry hadn't been in a full body bind, he had no doubt the boy would be raising bloody hell trying desperately to get out of here. No, it definitely wasn't like the golden boy of the Wizarding World to go down without a fight. It was a pity he wouldn't be able to let the boy loose, but he really did need all his energy conserved. The bonding was going to take a lot out of both of them, and most likely would almost kill the boy.
But the reward of having complete domination and the ability to drain the magical energy from the Boy Who Lived was too good of a chance to pass up. No, he was going to go through with this. The positively calculating grin that spread across his face was beyond pleased. Taking the silver blade that Bella handed to him, he slit his wrist and grabbed the Potter boy by his unruly hair, pulling his head back and forcing his mouth open. He was giving the boy no choice but to swallow the blood.
As the boy choked down his blood, he hissed out in parseltongue: "You will be mine to bend to mine own will. You will be mine to take what is yours. You will be mine for it is only me that you will remember. You will be mine until there is no more time. You will be mine, forever and eternally. You are mine, for always. You are mine 'til the end of days."
So be it, the boy was his. He'd made his claim. The last thing that was left was a simple temporary soul removing potion where he'd bind the boy spiritually to him. It was a good thing that this potion wasn't that complicated, though he was well able to do some of the more difficult potions. It was surprising how simple this potion was for the elements it contained. But these things never did quite add up in the magical world.
Once Bella had closed up his wound, he slashed the boy's throat and let the blood trickle into his potion like he had let the remainders of his blood ooze into the boy's potion. The Boy Who Lived needed to drink more of his blood so that he could assert his dominancy, but he also needed to take a bit of the boy's own blood since it was his physical essence. The blood combined with the soul removal potion would let him leave his body temporarily to exert his final force over the boy, the soul dominance.
This was the most dangerous part since letting the spirit leave its physical form was always rather unsettling and unnatural. Only the strongest wizard dare try this, and many had failed ending up dead. But Voldemort was sure that Harry Potter was strong enough and he knew he was. He used his own wandless magic to seal the boy's cut and then forced the potion down the boy's throat. Once the boy swallowed his, he drank his potion.
The effect was instantaneous. It was like he was being sucked away, and he had no choice but to go. Lucky for him, he would have felt lost if he had not placed the boy's blood into his potion. While it linked the boy to him physically, it also provided him the pathway to the boy's own wandering soul. The blood in the boy's potion worked the same way for him too as he was drawn to Voldemort. Yet, it was not exactly the same since it was clear that the curse was already in affect and the boy was submissive to him.
His soul was the one that pulled the boy and crushed him into him so that the memories would flow faster with no distance between them. The first trickles of memories were pleasant. Then again, Voldemort had expected no less. The Boy Who Lived had to lead a charmed life, didn't he? A hero to the Wizarding World and having the perfect parents that showered loving adoration over their only child. His envy and jealousy burned.
He didn't want to experience all these happy memories that drew his bitterness for what he could never have. But he had no choice; all the memories must be drained for Harry Potter to be bond to him body, mind, and soul. However, the happy memories ended abruptly when Harry was orphaned when he killed the powerful Potters. The crying Harry annoyed his soul as the baby whined for his dead parents. But even that scene wasn't the worst, no that was still an okay memory. Everything was all right until the foolish Dumbledore left the Boy Who Lived with his muggle relatives.
At first it wasn't so bad. The Dursleys mainly ignored the baby Harry even when he cried piteously. It wasn't long before the baby learned to stop crying to be held like he had been before, since these muggles weren't going to. Voldemort was slightly sympathetic to baby Harry; he hadn't known the boy had been starved for affection, just like he'd been. But he thought that it was probably just because the muggle woman had a baby of her own to look after and adore. It'd change when the boy got older.
Indeed, it did change. It was worse; it drew comparisons to the orphanage he grew up in. Harry, at the tender age of 4, was expected to cook breakfast for the family. The poor boy couldn't read yet he was expected to cook! And whenever the food was less than perfect, they'd hit the poor child. Voldemort remembered his beatings when he'd been too young to defend himself. They'd toughened him like they'd probably strengthened Harry to stand against him. He'd always wondered how a supposedly pampered child had the steel nerves to stand up to him. Now he knew.
His admiration and his respect for Harry only grew as the boy grew older. The beatings worsened a bit, but he knew that physical abuse was nothing compared to the verbal assault that Harry received every waking moment of everyday. It was remarkable that the boy had any self esteem left after being insulted like he was. Yet, Harry had survived this and had been that much stronger for it.
It was to his great relief when he saw the owl that came to Harry to inform him of his magical background, that he was a wizard. Watching Harry suffer reminded him of his own memories that he didn't want to remember. The relief turned into frustration that was similar Harry's own memory when the muggles refused to give Harry his Hogwarts letter. Never had he been more grateful to see the buffoon of a half giant, Hagrid, rescue Harry and spirit him off to Diagon Alley and guiding him to platform 9 ¾.
From there, the memories were like watching a movie he'd already seen before. He recognized Harry's wonder, it had matched his own. He had to choke back hard at Harry becoming friends with the self righteous Weasley boy, but that was nothing compared to when he heard the Sorting Hat say Harry would do best in his old house--- Slytherin! That had been shocking, but understandable when he considered Harry's ability to survive and adapt. That was most definitely a Slytherin trait.
The seven years spent at Hogwarts passed by like a familiar breeze, especially the last three years that he'd been resurrected and had kept his eye on the Boy Who Lived. The only thing that was different was seeing it from Harry's point of view instead of one of his inner spies. Like himself, Harry derived much of his remembered happiness from his days within the school walls. But he'd never had a Dark Lord that wanted to kill him in his Hogwarts days.
However, he understood very well why Harry relished every minute even if he was constantly in danger. Here, he was at least treated like a person--- a living creature. Every summer he went back to his muggle relatives, he was treated worse and worse for the supposed taint of queer magic in him. Voldemort though couldn't quite comprehend how Harry hadn't snapped at his idiotic relatives. Didn't they understand what Harry could do to them? Why did the boy let them treat him like that? Why not kill those worthless muggles?
Especially considering the last summer before his final year at Hogwarts where they'd locked Harry up in the cupboard for the entire three months, only letting him out to do chores. Included with that miserable existence they forced upon him, they barely fed him anything. When it was time for the end of the summer holidays, Harry demonstrated a great grasp on glamour charms to hide his battered and starved body. Voldemort gave a huge sigh of relief when Harry left his muggle relatives forever, not even minding Harry's friends anymore.
Even if he didn't agree with who the boy made friends with, he did have relatively good taste. The Weasley boy and the Granger girl were steadfast in their loyalty and true friends through all of his troublesome life. For the joy they'd given to Harry, Voldemort even considered possibly sparing them in the War that was going to occur if they joined him. It was only a matter of time now. Only a matter of when.
The last year was definitely the most fascinating as Harry had something to look forward to at the end of Hogwarts. He and his best friend were going to rent a flat and be roommates much like they were in Gryffindor Tower. It was good to feel Harry actually excited; it hadn't been that way for the boy since his return in the 4th year. That also happened to be the year that Harry started delving into the Dark Arts, a thing that most intimately struck Voldemort's soul. He once again saw the resemblance to himself, even if he had started dabbling in his 4th year.
But to the end of the year, he saw with some satisfaction since he'd been quite crushed when he thought Harry had repelled his Death Eater attacks with ease that Harry had had quite some difficulty with them. The young man, yes, he had definitely grown up in the last three years had been nearly crushed mentally in defeat. In Harry's memories from his viewpoint, Voldemort learned how suicidal and dark Harry had become the last three months as he'd watched innocent people die to draw him out of Hogwarts. Foolish, self sacrificing Gryffindor.
When it subsided a bit, Harry had crawled out of his self-pitying shell and had vowed to him on graduation day that he would be the best person he could be... even if it meant sacrificing his life to fulfill it. Voldemort had wanted to hiss again at this foolish Gryffindor nobility, but then thought again. If he could apply Harry's perseverance to his cause, there'd be no doubt who'd reign supreme. He had some of the best wizards under him, and he had once had the best witch in Bella. Not anymore though, he thought, as he watched through Harry's eyes the mudblood Hermione Granger graduate at the top of her class with the most NEWT's ever recorded in Hogwarts history.
It was exactly one more NEWT than he'd acquired in his final year at Hogwarts, which had been the previous record holder. Despite himself, Voldemort was impressed. Even if she had to remind him of his muggle upbringing, a witch of her intelligence and power would be highly beneficial to his side. Too bad she was a Gryffindor and not a Slytherin, too bad. The only Gryffindor he'd ever corrupted was the pathetic Pettigrew. That did not inspire more attempts, especially when his efforts to convert James Potter and Sirius Black had failed so miserably.
Time sped forward though, much faster as it got closer and closer to the day he had sent Bella and Lucius on their task to kidnap the Boy Who Lived. The summer was a stressful one but happy at that. Harry had found that as a celebrity that fame at Hogwarts was nothing compared to the celebrity on the outside world. He found himself constantly pestered by people, continuously showered by owls by companies that wanted him to work for them.
Then came the fateful day, the day that was to be Harry's 18th birthday and his only birthday celebration in the midst of friends. The party was going wildly well; Harry had never felt so content as he did there with people that cared for him, people that loved him like his godfather, his best friends, and his mentor--- Dumbledore. Wave after wave of emotion hit Voldemort, making him feel strangely weak. It'd been so long since he felt such innocent elation. For this joy came not from torturing misery, but from simple happiness.
All this was broken when his Death Eaters swooped into Hog's Head, surrounding the partially drunk crowd with a menacing darkness about them. Voldemort saw Harry start to the front to protect his friends; the vow to sacrifice all to save his friends not forgotten but the traitorous Severus grabbed Harry and pulled him behind. He never thought he'd see the detached and indifferent Severus actually caring to protect someone. That partially redeemed the double spy in his eyes, perhaps he could be remolded.
The alarm in Harry's eyes was obvious when the chaos got more out of hand, when he saw his friends going down. He was too oblivious to his own protection that his wand was blown from his hands. And before, before Harry might try to regain his wand Bella had reached for the boy and portkeyed him out of there. It wasn't long after that, that Severus had joined them. From there, Voldemort could recall the events firsthand.
Still it was intriguing to see things from Harry's eyes, to gaze at through those emerald eyes and to know that what the young man saw was as ghastly as he knew it was. His form was decrepit, a disgusting shell of what his former body had been. He knew that, but to see it through the eyes of Harry was entirely different. It wasn't nearly as revolting as he thought it'd be, though it was still repulsive. He gleaned from the memories flowing into him that Harry saw him as his greatest challenge and that was not hideous. It was actually rather complimenting.
There was fear in his eyes, fear that he inspired. How sweetly intoxicating. He almost tasted it, half pleased and half perturbed he wasn't taking more delight out of it than he was. That was his last thought as he realized that his soul was twisting away from Harry's and that he was being dumped forcefully back into his own body. The process was earth shattering, the pain extraordinary.
It pulled and it pushed as his soul tried to regain hold of his physical body. Torturous and tormenting, he felt every agonizingly anguished moment. Reality and clarity was blurred as he felt shoved back in, propelled into his corporeal form once more. It was a relief; it was a blessing to be back. And soon, he would be back--- back to his original body, not this snake skeleton he'd been forced to live with.
When the brutalizing throbbing had subsided, he realized that he was leaning on Bella for support and that if he thought he was in horrendous suffering, it was nothing compared to Harry's. The boy was drenched in blood. It seemed all his internal agony had been translated onto Harry as its only outlet. As his crimson slits saw out of their corners that even Bella was slightly pale at the way his bond-mate was thrashing and convulsing. The boy wouldn't stop his shuddering seizures.
It took a moment for Voldemort to recognize that his pain was made that much worse by what Harry was suffering through. That through the connection that he would use to exert his will over Harry and to drain Harry, that whenever the young man felt any stirring of emotion he too would feel it. It was strange, he'd had kept himself from feeling anything for so long that even the pain was strangely welcomed. Welcomed because it meant he was alive, for to be alive was to feel some pain.
He didn't mind it, but he didn't want Harry to undergo anymore than he already had. If anything, the boy's childhood had been just as bad if not worse than his own. Maybe it had been better that he didn't have to turn to his muggle relatives; he never had to know their hatred like Harry had known of his. Finally, he couldn't take it to watch the boy shaking and trembling, blood pouring out of any open hole. He gestured for Lucius and Bella to deal with the boy, both of them having a great deal of knowledge over healing spells.
Bella was notoriously reluctant to get close to the boy, so Lucius gently lifted the boy into his arms and held him tightly while she performed the charms to ease the boy's torment. Lucius had never felt any empathy to Harry Potter, but he did now. Too young to have known so much pain. This would have broken his beloved son. For the bonding ritual had ripped through Harry's body, manipulating every part of him to make him compatible to his bond-mate and to the dark curse so that it would work on him. And since the Dark Lord was dominant, most of his wretched pain had been passed on for the boy to experience.
Eventually, Harry stopped shuddering in pain. He stopped moving at all, passing out into blessed unconsciousness where Lucius fed him several potions that would heal and give him strength. By this time, most of the other Death Eaters had apparated home, fully aware that they had to start setting up alibis of their whereabouts on this rather public night. Luckily, most of their hoods had concealed their faces. But some... some could be identified and those had to go into hiding until Voldemort was ready to rise up powerful enough to quell any resistance.
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Author's Note: So you have the bonding completed. I'm sure all of you will be wondering how often this story will be updated. I want to try to go as fast as possible without losing any quality, I figure I can update every 5 days, sooner I think is better, but expect updates at least once a week during the summer! And geez the pressure I've got to live up with now that I created such a great first chapter. I hope this chapter lives up to the first. Chapter alerts will be given on the mirror_of_paradox ML ^_^.
Questions: (1) So was the bonding original? Different quite from ASL's. (2) How was the memory flow that I did from Harry to Voldemort? (3) Anyone care to make a prediction on how Voldemort is going to react to the memories later?
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Thanks to ?, frizzy, black rose, princess pearliest, edriana, maizeysugah, shadowwolf, wiccachic2000, partygirl, npetrenko, yxonomei, kitta baby, ntamara, susan, mirintala.
Malakai: It's just begun, first 3 chapters are setup. (1) Yes, I like the bitch persona for Bella. (2) Lucius I try to make vivid, guess I do a good job. (3) Well, I only emphasize his vanity since the Forbidden spell is important. But later the draining and dominant part of the bond will show up far more significantly after ch.3. (4) Definitely. Takes place in the next chapter. Thanks! I'd hope this was an original take, I actually thought of the title b4 I thought of the storyline ^_^. Hope this chapter meets up with expectations.
Tempest: You will see major hints of both pairings, that's all I'll say on that matter. Bella is mentally unstable, it's part of her charm. Brilliant, yet insane.
Eaiva le Fay: (1) Yes, 'simply marvelous' refers to the way I've kept her so much like herself. (2) [snickers] We know where your affects lay. (3) Voldemort will see the most character development early on, then Lucius and Bella and the last of the major characters will be Harry, Severus, and Draco. (4) It will be both.
Hyperbole: (1) She's Voldemort's bitch, what else would she be like? (2) Yes, I think I did that rather well. (3) Thanks. (4) Definitely. Voldemort softening? In a crimson moon.
Abraxis: Sure they are Machiavellian characters, aren't most politicians? The means justify the end no matter what they have to do to get to the seat of power. But that doesn't mean there isn't another side of them that is likable. Two sides to coin, two sides to every person. Believe me, I know- -- I'm like that. (1) Spot on. (2) Very true. (3) I think he has to be to be able to attract anyone. (4) That's why it's a dark bond. And I believe my bonding take is quite original, isn't it?
Author: Yih
Disclaimer: All characters & original universe belong to J.K. Rowling.
Spoiler Warning: There are spoilers of OotP in this fanfic. They are embedded into the fanfic. I won't tell you which are spoilers and which aren't, but readers that haven't read OotP should be aware that they are in the fanfic.
Thanks to my wonderful beta-reader, SERRA!
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I wake up
I don't know who I am
It's all lost
Those memories of me
Nothing's there
Not anymore, it's gone
Gone away
To a place, far away
I run hard
Attempting to get there
Where is there?
I don't know, I don't know
Wish I did
Wish I could remember
But I don't
The memories are gone
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2: Bonding (June 30, 2003 to July 4, 2003)
The boy had been prepared for the bonding ritual by Lucius, while he didn't trust the man like he trusted Bella he had been the best choice for the job. While Bella hid her animosity well, she couldn't hide it well enough for Voldemort to place the boy into her care. She'd probably try to torture the boy somehow and that couldn't be allowed. The boy needed to be at full strength for the bond to be the most powerful it could be. The more powerful the bond, the more dominant his power over the boy would be, the more he could drain the magical essence out of the boy.
It had been decided by him in the last minutes that the bonding would take place in front of the rest of the Death Eaters that were left. He wanted to make it clear and reassert to what was left of his minions that he had triumphed over the Boy Who Lived. It wouldn't hurt to show them what dark magic the bonding curse was and how powerful the wizard had to be to pull it off. No, it'd teach them and make them more aware of what a forceful Dark Lord he truly was. They seemed to be forgetting this as their numbers dwindle when they shouldn't.
He narrowed his crimson eyes into deadly slits. So be it, they would know after this that he'd truly be the most powerful wizard on the face of the Earth. Nothing would stop him once he'd drained Harry Potter's magical essence for himself, and enjoy it immensely he would. Nothing would please him more than to know he'd have the powerful and the pleasure to suck the will and determination out of the resolutely stubborn Gryffindor. And it was almost time, almost time to make his arch nemesis energy his as well.
His eyes filled with a wicked gleam when they rested on the blazing green fire he saw in Harry's fierce orbs. If Harry hadn't been in a full body bind, he had no doubt the boy would be raising bloody hell trying desperately to get out of here. No, it definitely wasn't like the golden boy of the Wizarding World to go down without a fight. It was a pity he wouldn't be able to let the boy loose, but he really did need all his energy conserved. The bonding was going to take a lot out of both of them, and most likely would almost kill the boy.
But the reward of having complete domination and the ability to drain the magical energy from the Boy Who Lived was too good of a chance to pass up. No, he was going to go through with this. The positively calculating grin that spread across his face was beyond pleased. Taking the silver blade that Bella handed to him, he slit his wrist and grabbed the Potter boy by his unruly hair, pulling his head back and forcing his mouth open. He was giving the boy no choice but to swallow the blood.
As the boy choked down his blood, he hissed out in parseltongue: "You will be mine to bend to mine own will. You will be mine to take what is yours. You will be mine for it is only me that you will remember. You will be mine until there is no more time. You will be mine, forever and eternally. You are mine, for always. You are mine 'til the end of days."
So be it, the boy was his. He'd made his claim. The last thing that was left was a simple temporary soul removing potion where he'd bind the boy spiritually to him. It was a good thing that this potion wasn't that complicated, though he was well able to do some of the more difficult potions. It was surprising how simple this potion was for the elements it contained. But these things never did quite add up in the magical world.
Once Bella had closed up his wound, he slashed the boy's throat and let the blood trickle into his potion like he had let the remainders of his blood ooze into the boy's potion. The Boy Who Lived needed to drink more of his blood so that he could assert his dominancy, but he also needed to take a bit of the boy's own blood since it was his physical essence. The blood combined with the soul removal potion would let him leave his body temporarily to exert his final force over the boy, the soul dominance.
This was the most dangerous part since letting the spirit leave its physical form was always rather unsettling and unnatural. Only the strongest wizard dare try this, and many had failed ending up dead. But Voldemort was sure that Harry Potter was strong enough and he knew he was. He used his own wandless magic to seal the boy's cut and then forced the potion down the boy's throat. Once the boy swallowed his, he drank his potion.
The effect was instantaneous. It was like he was being sucked away, and he had no choice but to go. Lucky for him, he would have felt lost if he had not placed the boy's blood into his potion. While it linked the boy to him physically, it also provided him the pathway to the boy's own wandering soul. The blood in the boy's potion worked the same way for him too as he was drawn to Voldemort. Yet, it was not exactly the same since it was clear that the curse was already in affect and the boy was submissive to him.
His soul was the one that pulled the boy and crushed him into him so that the memories would flow faster with no distance between them. The first trickles of memories were pleasant. Then again, Voldemort had expected no less. The Boy Who Lived had to lead a charmed life, didn't he? A hero to the Wizarding World and having the perfect parents that showered loving adoration over their only child. His envy and jealousy burned.
He didn't want to experience all these happy memories that drew his bitterness for what he could never have. But he had no choice; all the memories must be drained for Harry Potter to be bond to him body, mind, and soul. However, the happy memories ended abruptly when Harry was orphaned when he killed the powerful Potters. The crying Harry annoyed his soul as the baby whined for his dead parents. But even that scene wasn't the worst, no that was still an okay memory. Everything was all right until the foolish Dumbledore left the Boy Who Lived with his muggle relatives.
At first it wasn't so bad. The Dursleys mainly ignored the baby Harry even when he cried piteously. It wasn't long before the baby learned to stop crying to be held like he had been before, since these muggles weren't going to. Voldemort was slightly sympathetic to baby Harry; he hadn't known the boy had been starved for affection, just like he'd been. But he thought that it was probably just because the muggle woman had a baby of her own to look after and adore. It'd change when the boy got older.
Indeed, it did change. It was worse; it drew comparisons to the orphanage he grew up in. Harry, at the tender age of 4, was expected to cook breakfast for the family. The poor boy couldn't read yet he was expected to cook! And whenever the food was less than perfect, they'd hit the poor child. Voldemort remembered his beatings when he'd been too young to defend himself. They'd toughened him like they'd probably strengthened Harry to stand against him. He'd always wondered how a supposedly pampered child had the steel nerves to stand up to him. Now he knew.
His admiration and his respect for Harry only grew as the boy grew older. The beatings worsened a bit, but he knew that physical abuse was nothing compared to the verbal assault that Harry received every waking moment of everyday. It was remarkable that the boy had any self esteem left after being insulted like he was. Yet, Harry had survived this and had been that much stronger for it.
It was to his great relief when he saw the owl that came to Harry to inform him of his magical background, that he was a wizard. Watching Harry suffer reminded him of his own memories that he didn't want to remember. The relief turned into frustration that was similar Harry's own memory when the muggles refused to give Harry his Hogwarts letter. Never had he been more grateful to see the buffoon of a half giant, Hagrid, rescue Harry and spirit him off to Diagon Alley and guiding him to platform 9 ¾.
From there, the memories were like watching a movie he'd already seen before. He recognized Harry's wonder, it had matched his own. He had to choke back hard at Harry becoming friends with the self righteous Weasley boy, but that was nothing compared to when he heard the Sorting Hat say Harry would do best in his old house--- Slytherin! That had been shocking, but understandable when he considered Harry's ability to survive and adapt. That was most definitely a Slytherin trait.
The seven years spent at Hogwarts passed by like a familiar breeze, especially the last three years that he'd been resurrected and had kept his eye on the Boy Who Lived. The only thing that was different was seeing it from Harry's point of view instead of one of his inner spies. Like himself, Harry derived much of his remembered happiness from his days within the school walls. But he'd never had a Dark Lord that wanted to kill him in his Hogwarts days.
However, he understood very well why Harry relished every minute even if he was constantly in danger. Here, he was at least treated like a person--- a living creature. Every summer he went back to his muggle relatives, he was treated worse and worse for the supposed taint of queer magic in him. Voldemort though couldn't quite comprehend how Harry hadn't snapped at his idiotic relatives. Didn't they understand what Harry could do to them? Why did the boy let them treat him like that? Why not kill those worthless muggles?
Especially considering the last summer before his final year at Hogwarts where they'd locked Harry up in the cupboard for the entire three months, only letting him out to do chores. Included with that miserable existence they forced upon him, they barely fed him anything. When it was time for the end of the summer holidays, Harry demonstrated a great grasp on glamour charms to hide his battered and starved body. Voldemort gave a huge sigh of relief when Harry left his muggle relatives forever, not even minding Harry's friends anymore.
Even if he didn't agree with who the boy made friends with, he did have relatively good taste. The Weasley boy and the Granger girl were steadfast in their loyalty and true friends through all of his troublesome life. For the joy they'd given to Harry, Voldemort even considered possibly sparing them in the War that was going to occur if they joined him. It was only a matter of time now. Only a matter of when.
The last year was definitely the most fascinating as Harry had something to look forward to at the end of Hogwarts. He and his best friend were going to rent a flat and be roommates much like they were in Gryffindor Tower. It was good to feel Harry actually excited; it hadn't been that way for the boy since his return in the 4th year. That also happened to be the year that Harry started delving into the Dark Arts, a thing that most intimately struck Voldemort's soul. He once again saw the resemblance to himself, even if he had started dabbling in his 4th year.
But to the end of the year, he saw with some satisfaction since he'd been quite crushed when he thought Harry had repelled his Death Eater attacks with ease that Harry had had quite some difficulty with them. The young man, yes, he had definitely grown up in the last three years had been nearly crushed mentally in defeat. In Harry's memories from his viewpoint, Voldemort learned how suicidal and dark Harry had become the last three months as he'd watched innocent people die to draw him out of Hogwarts. Foolish, self sacrificing Gryffindor.
When it subsided a bit, Harry had crawled out of his self-pitying shell and had vowed to him on graduation day that he would be the best person he could be... even if it meant sacrificing his life to fulfill it. Voldemort had wanted to hiss again at this foolish Gryffindor nobility, but then thought again. If he could apply Harry's perseverance to his cause, there'd be no doubt who'd reign supreme. He had some of the best wizards under him, and he had once had the best witch in Bella. Not anymore though, he thought, as he watched through Harry's eyes the mudblood Hermione Granger graduate at the top of her class with the most NEWT's ever recorded in Hogwarts history.
It was exactly one more NEWT than he'd acquired in his final year at Hogwarts, which had been the previous record holder. Despite himself, Voldemort was impressed. Even if she had to remind him of his muggle upbringing, a witch of her intelligence and power would be highly beneficial to his side. Too bad she was a Gryffindor and not a Slytherin, too bad. The only Gryffindor he'd ever corrupted was the pathetic Pettigrew. That did not inspire more attempts, especially when his efforts to convert James Potter and Sirius Black had failed so miserably.
Time sped forward though, much faster as it got closer and closer to the day he had sent Bella and Lucius on their task to kidnap the Boy Who Lived. The summer was a stressful one but happy at that. Harry had found that as a celebrity that fame at Hogwarts was nothing compared to the celebrity on the outside world. He found himself constantly pestered by people, continuously showered by owls by companies that wanted him to work for them.
Then came the fateful day, the day that was to be Harry's 18th birthday and his only birthday celebration in the midst of friends. The party was going wildly well; Harry had never felt so content as he did there with people that cared for him, people that loved him like his godfather, his best friends, and his mentor--- Dumbledore. Wave after wave of emotion hit Voldemort, making him feel strangely weak. It'd been so long since he felt such innocent elation. For this joy came not from torturing misery, but from simple happiness.
All this was broken when his Death Eaters swooped into Hog's Head, surrounding the partially drunk crowd with a menacing darkness about them. Voldemort saw Harry start to the front to protect his friends; the vow to sacrifice all to save his friends not forgotten but the traitorous Severus grabbed Harry and pulled him behind. He never thought he'd see the detached and indifferent Severus actually caring to protect someone. That partially redeemed the double spy in his eyes, perhaps he could be remolded.
The alarm in Harry's eyes was obvious when the chaos got more out of hand, when he saw his friends going down. He was too oblivious to his own protection that his wand was blown from his hands. And before, before Harry might try to regain his wand Bella had reached for the boy and portkeyed him out of there. It wasn't long after that, that Severus had joined them. From there, Voldemort could recall the events firsthand.
Still it was intriguing to see things from Harry's eyes, to gaze at through those emerald eyes and to know that what the young man saw was as ghastly as he knew it was. His form was decrepit, a disgusting shell of what his former body had been. He knew that, but to see it through the eyes of Harry was entirely different. It wasn't nearly as revolting as he thought it'd be, though it was still repulsive. He gleaned from the memories flowing into him that Harry saw him as his greatest challenge and that was not hideous. It was actually rather complimenting.
There was fear in his eyes, fear that he inspired. How sweetly intoxicating. He almost tasted it, half pleased and half perturbed he wasn't taking more delight out of it than he was. That was his last thought as he realized that his soul was twisting away from Harry's and that he was being dumped forcefully back into his own body. The process was earth shattering, the pain extraordinary.
It pulled and it pushed as his soul tried to regain hold of his physical body. Torturous and tormenting, he felt every agonizingly anguished moment. Reality and clarity was blurred as he felt shoved back in, propelled into his corporeal form once more. It was a relief; it was a blessing to be back. And soon, he would be back--- back to his original body, not this snake skeleton he'd been forced to live with.
When the brutalizing throbbing had subsided, he realized that he was leaning on Bella for support and that if he thought he was in horrendous suffering, it was nothing compared to Harry's. The boy was drenched in blood. It seemed all his internal agony had been translated onto Harry as its only outlet. As his crimson slits saw out of their corners that even Bella was slightly pale at the way his bond-mate was thrashing and convulsing. The boy wouldn't stop his shuddering seizures.
It took a moment for Voldemort to recognize that his pain was made that much worse by what Harry was suffering through. That through the connection that he would use to exert his will over Harry and to drain Harry, that whenever the young man felt any stirring of emotion he too would feel it. It was strange, he'd had kept himself from feeling anything for so long that even the pain was strangely welcomed. Welcomed because it meant he was alive, for to be alive was to feel some pain.
He didn't mind it, but he didn't want Harry to undergo anymore than he already had. If anything, the boy's childhood had been just as bad if not worse than his own. Maybe it had been better that he didn't have to turn to his muggle relatives; he never had to know their hatred like Harry had known of his. Finally, he couldn't take it to watch the boy shaking and trembling, blood pouring out of any open hole. He gestured for Lucius and Bella to deal with the boy, both of them having a great deal of knowledge over healing spells.
Bella was notoriously reluctant to get close to the boy, so Lucius gently lifted the boy into his arms and held him tightly while she performed the charms to ease the boy's torment. Lucius had never felt any empathy to Harry Potter, but he did now. Too young to have known so much pain. This would have broken his beloved son. For the bonding ritual had ripped through Harry's body, manipulating every part of him to make him compatible to his bond-mate and to the dark curse so that it would work on him. And since the Dark Lord was dominant, most of his wretched pain had been passed on for the boy to experience.
Eventually, Harry stopped shuddering in pain. He stopped moving at all, passing out into blessed unconsciousness where Lucius fed him several potions that would heal and give him strength. By this time, most of the other Death Eaters had apparated home, fully aware that they had to start setting up alibis of their whereabouts on this rather public night. Luckily, most of their hoods had concealed their faces. But some... some could be identified and those had to go into hiding until Voldemort was ready to rise up powerful enough to quell any resistance.
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Author's Note: So you have the bonding completed. I'm sure all of you will be wondering how often this story will be updated. I want to try to go as fast as possible without losing any quality, I figure I can update every 5 days, sooner I think is better, but expect updates at least once a week during the summer! And geez the pressure I've got to live up with now that I created such a great first chapter. I hope this chapter lives up to the first. Chapter alerts will be given on the mirror_of_paradox ML ^_^.
Questions: (1) So was the bonding original? Different quite from ASL's. (2) How was the memory flow that I did from Harry to Voldemort? (3) Anyone care to make a prediction on how Voldemort is going to react to the memories later?
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Thanks to ?, frizzy, black rose, princess pearliest, edriana, maizeysugah, shadowwolf, wiccachic2000, partygirl, npetrenko, yxonomei, kitta baby, ntamara, susan, mirintala.
Malakai: It's just begun, first 3 chapters are setup. (1) Yes, I like the bitch persona for Bella. (2) Lucius I try to make vivid, guess I do a good job. (3) Well, I only emphasize his vanity since the Forbidden spell is important. But later the draining and dominant part of the bond will show up far more significantly after ch.3. (4) Definitely. Takes place in the next chapter. Thanks! I'd hope this was an original take, I actually thought of the title b4 I thought of the storyline ^_^. Hope this chapter meets up with expectations.
Tempest: You will see major hints of both pairings, that's all I'll say on that matter. Bella is mentally unstable, it's part of her charm. Brilliant, yet insane.
Eaiva le Fay: (1) Yes, 'simply marvelous' refers to the way I've kept her so much like herself. (2) [snickers] We know where your affects lay. (3) Voldemort will see the most character development early on, then Lucius and Bella and the last of the major characters will be Harry, Severus, and Draco. (4) It will be both.
Hyperbole: (1) She's Voldemort's bitch, what else would she be like? (2) Yes, I think I did that rather well. (3) Thanks. (4) Definitely. Voldemort softening? In a crimson moon.
Abraxis: Sure they are Machiavellian characters, aren't most politicians? The means justify the end no matter what they have to do to get to the seat of power. But that doesn't mean there isn't another side of them that is likable. Two sides to coin, two sides to every person. Believe me, I know- -- I'm like that. (1) Spot on. (2) Very true. (3) I think he has to be to be able to attract anyone. (4) That's why it's a dark bond. And I believe my bonding take is quite original, isn't it?