Disclaimer: I don't own Everwood, the town, or it's characters. I'm just a
college student.
Chapter 19 uses Box Car Racer's "Letters to God." I doubt any of you really care, but there's some profanity in it. I just wanted to post that because I don't want this 'PG-13' fanfic to get taken off because of one swear word. Thanks for reading!
Chapter 19: Letters to God
The world was confusing inside a weak and broken Amy that day. Although she hadn't the faintest clue that she was in a hospital bed in New York, she was fully aware that she and Ephram had made up; that they were going to be together now. And while she seemed unconscious to the physical world, she was perfectly fine inside her head. She just didn't understand why everyone kept begging her to wake up. *I'm awake! I'm fine! Ephram and I just straightened out our problems! Why is everyone so sad?* she was screaming silently.
Amy saw darkness; no light. While she couldn't understand why she was in this darkness, she was certain she was just dreaming and that she'd soon wake up to a beautiful, colorful world. She heard voices, although she couldn't tell where they were coming from. They sounded close to her, as if the person was right next to her ear.
"I told you I heard miracles happen once in awhile, remember? Well, we really need one now Amy. We really need one now . . ." it said sadly.
She knew the voice. It was Ephram, and he spoke with a sense of urgency and significance. Oh how his words swirled in her head, teasing her, taunting her because she wasn't able to reach out and touch him. *Why do we need a miracle? Ephram, I'm fine! I'm right here. Where are you?* she screamed inside her head again.
His words faded and then it was quiet again; absolute silence; an unnerving, cruel silence that made her even more isolated than she did before. After having heard Ephram's sweet voice it being taken away, she wondered if there really was something wrong with her. Her questions were answered.
She saw a speck of light, and becoming hopeful, felt herself floating toward it. It became stronger and stronger, blinding her. She stopped and looked away, shielding her eyes from the powerful brightness. While she was blocking it, she couldn't see her own hand in front of her . . . *how am I blocking this without seeing my hand? I know it's there!* she said.
A voice spoke; Colin's voice. "Grover, you're almost here. Come on, just a little farther. Just let go and come to me."
"Colin? But you're dead! How can I come to you?" she said, her voice shaking.
"You're dying, Grover. Just let go of life; we can be happy again."
"No!"
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` `````````````````````
"Caught off guard
All worked up
The air is as dark and cold as night
Let me go
I'm not done
I swear i'll take this one lifetime and i
I won't lie
I won't sin
Maybe i don't wanna go
Can't you wait
Maybe i don't wanna go"
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` ``````````````````````````````
"Amy, I love you. I wanted you to move on; for you to be happy with Ephram, but don't you see? You and I are really supposed to be. We really ARE soulmates . . . why else would you be dying and coming back to be with me?"
"Colin . . . I loved you too. I loved you so much. I still care for you, but I'm not ready to die. I have so much to live for. I'm finally seeing who I really am. I've gone through too many hard times to get to the point I'm at in life to just let it go without caring."
"You've suffered enough for a lifetime. Just come on."
"No, I'd rather suffer a million days more than die without a fight, Colin. And what about Bright and my family? You expect me just to leave them? I know you told Dr. Brown to just let you die if there were complications that would leave you in a different condition than before the surgery, but that's not me!" she said with a strong certainty.
"And you blame Dr. Brown, Grov. I know somewhere you still can't stand him."
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` ```````````````````````````````
"I should've asked
I could've helped
At least a fucking 1, 000 times before
Will this offer get me in
Or does it prove that they gave more and i
I won't lie
I won't sin
Maybe i don't wanna go
Can't you wait
Maybe i don't wanna go" ```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` ````````````````````````````
"Ephram, okay Colin? I can't leave Ephram; not after all he's done for me. We're happy now, and here I am on my way out. I can't go, Colin. I'm sorry."
"Can't leave him like I left you, Amy? Is that what this is?"
"Yes! Okay, yes. I don't blame you for wanting to just let go. You had a very rough time. But I know how it is to lose someone you're in love with. It's taking me forever to deal with losing you. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, especially not Ephram. Not if I can help it."
"Well, it sounds like you've made up your mind. No convincing you, I guess. But listen, if you DO pass on, I promise you we can be happy again. I still love you, you know?"
"I love Ephram and I love life. There's no way I'm giving up this easily; as easily as they think I will."
"They don't know you have conscious thoughts right now, Grov. They think you can hear them but that you realize you're unconscious. I know what you're going through. Just on a higher level since I was in a coma."
"So Ephram can't hear me when I talk? So he's not angry with me? He's just not responding because to him I'm just lying there?" she asked understandingly.
"Yes, you've got it. I tried so many times to answer you when you all talked to me when I was in that coma. I got frustrated and annoyed, but now I understand. If you really feel there's no use giving up, then you better get going. They miss you there, 'bout just as much as I miss you here." He said sweetly.
"Thank you, Colin. I'm sure we'll see each other again someday. It just can't be today. It just can't be now." She said closing her eyes and returning to darkness, she heard a voice again.
"Son, we need to take her now. . . you'll have to go out into the waiting room." It was a voice she didn't recognize.
*Where am I going?* she thought *I can't die. I'm not ready*
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` ````````````````````````````
"And i
I won't lie
I won't sin
Maybe i don't wanna go
Can't you wait
Maybe i don't wanna go
And i
I won't lie
I won't sin
Maybe i don't wanna go
Can't you wait
Maybe i don't wanna go"
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` ``````````````````````````````
Amy hadn't given up, and she wouldn't give up. She had a lot to live for, a lot to accomplish in her life. She still had a chance. *If only I knew where 'they' are taking me* She smiled.
A/N: Okay, that was a crazy chapter I decided to throw in. Originally it wasn't going to even exist, but the more chapters the better I guess. I hope at least.
Chapter 19 uses Box Car Racer's "Letters to God." I doubt any of you really care, but there's some profanity in it. I just wanted to post that because I don't want this 'PG-13' fanfic to get taken off because of one swear word. Thanks for reading!
Chapter 19: Letters to God
The world was confusing inside a weak and broken Amy that day. Although she hadn't the faintest clue that she was in a hospital bed in New York, she was fully aware that she and Ephram had made up; that they were going to be together now. And while she seemed unconscious to the physical world, she was perfectly fine inside her head. She just didn't understand why everyone kept begging her to wake up. *I'm awake! I'm fine! Ephram and I just straightened out our problems! Why is everyone so sad?* she was screaming silently.
Amy saw darkness; no light. While she couldn't understand why she was in this darkness, she was certain she was just dreaming and that she'd soon wake up to a beautiful, colorful world. She heard voices, although she couldn't tell where they were coming from. They sounded close to her, as if the person was right next to her ear.
"I told you I heard miracles happen once in awhile, remember? Well, we really need one now Amy. We really need one now . . ." it said sadly.
She knew the voice. It was Ephram, and he spoke with a sense of urgency and significance. Oh how his words swirled in her head, teasing her, taunting her because she wasn't able to reach out and touch him. *Why do we need a miracle? Ephram, I'm fine! I'm right here. Where are you?* she screamed inside her head again.
His words faded and then it was quiet again; absolute silence; an unnerving, cruel silence that made her even more isolated than she did before. After having heard Ephram's sweet voice it being taken away, she wondered if there really was something wrong with her. Her questions were answered.
She saw a speck of light, and becoming hopeful, felt herself floating toward it. It became stronger and stronger, blinding her. She stopped and looked away, shielding her eyes from the powerful brightness. While she was blocking it, she couldn't see her own hand in front of her . . . *how am I blocking this without seeing my hand? I know it's there!* she said.
A voice spoke; Colin's voice. "Grover, you're almost here. Come on, just a little farther. Just let go and come to me."
"Colin? But you're dead! How can I come to you?" she said, her voice shaking.
"You're dying, Grover. Just let go of life; we can be happy again."
"No!"
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` `````````````````````
"Caught off guard
All worked up
The air is as dark and cold as night
Let me go
I'm not done
I swear i'll take this one lifetime and i
I won't lie
I won't sin
Maybe i don't wanna go
Can't you wait
Maybe i don't wanna go"
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` ``````````````````````````````
"Amy, I love you. I wanted you to move on; for you to be happy with Ephram, but don't you see? You and I are really supposed to be. We really ARE soulmates . . . why else would you be dying and coming back to be with me?"
"Colin . . . I loved you too. I loved you so much. I still care for you, but I'm not ready to die. I have so much to live for. I'm finally seeing who I really am. I've gone through too many hard times to get to the point I'm at in life to just let it go without caring."
"You've suffered enough for a lifetime. Just come on."
"No, I'd rather suffer a million days more than die without a fight, Colin. And what about Bright and my family? You expect me just to leave them? I know you told Dr. Brown to just let you die if there were complications that would leave you in a different condition than before the surgery, but that's not me!" she said with a strong certainty.
"And you blame Dr. Brown, Grov. I know somewhere you still can't stand him."
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` ```````````````````````````````
"I should've asked
I could've helped
At least a fucking 1, 000 times before
Will this offer get me in
Or does it prove that they gave more and i
I won't lie
I won't sin
Maybe i don't wanna go
Can't you wait
Maybe i don't wanna go" ```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` ````````````````````````````
"Ephram, okay Colin? I can't leave Ephram; not after all he's done for me. We're happy now, and here I am on my way out. I can't go, Colin. I'm sorry."
"Can't leave him like I left you, Amy? Is that what this is?"
"Yes! Okay, yes. I don't blame you for wanting to just let go. You had a very rough time. But I know how it is to lose someone you're in love with. It's taking me forever to deal with losing you. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, especially not Ephram. Not if I can help it."
"Well, it sounds like you've made up your mind. No convincing you, I guess. But listen, if you DO pass on, I promise you we can be happy again. I still love you, you know?"
"I love Ephram and I love life. There's no way I'm giving up this easily; as easily as they think I will."
"They don't know you have conscious thoughts right now, Grov. They think you can hear them but that you realize you're unconscious. I know what you're going through. Just on a higher level since I was in a coma."
"So Ephram can't hear me when I talk? So he's not angry with me? He's just not responding because to him I'm just lying there?" she asked understandingly.
"Yes, you've got it. I tried so many times to answer you when you all talked to me when I was in that coma. I got frustrated and annoyed, but now I understand. If you really feel there's no use giving up, then you better get going. They miss you there, 'bout just as much as I miss you here." He said sweetly.
"Thank you, Colin. I'm sure we'll see each other again someday. It just can't be today. It just can't be now." She said closing her eyes and returning to darkness, she heard a voice again.
"Son, we need to take her now. . . you'll have to go out into the waiting room." It was a voice she didn't recognize.
*Where am I going?* she thought *I can't die. I'm not ready*
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` ````````````````````````````
"And i
I won't lie
I won't sin
Maybe i don't wanna go
Can't you wait
Maybe i don't wanna go
And i
I won't lie
I won't sin
Maybe i don't wanna go
Can't you wait
Maybe i don't wanna go"
```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` ``````````````````````````````
Amy hadn't given up, and she wouldn't give up. She had a lot to live for, a lot to accomplish in her life. She still had a chance. *If only I knew where 'they' are taking me* She smiled.
A/N: Okay, that was a crazy chapter I decided to throw in. Originally it wasn't going to even exist, but the more chapters the better I guess. I hope at least.