Lyrics: "Jupiter" by Jewel
*~*~*~*~*
Giles paused when he reached the front door to Buffy's house. This was ridiculous. He couldn't be in love with his charge. This wasn't right. Even though she felt so right in his arms. He hesitated before he turned to leave.
The door opened. "Giles?" Dawn poked her head out. "I didn't hear you knock."
He cleared his throat. "Uh, yes. Sorry, I was just going to, um, get something from my car. But it can wait. Is Buffy home?"
She nodded and opened the door wider. "Upstairs. Willow's here."
He stepped inside and felt as nervous as a schoolboy. "Thank you." Each step he took up the stairs felt like it weighed a thousand tons. He could hear the light charm of her voice filtering out of her room and stopped. They were talking about him.
"Will, we went over this last night. I don't think he feels the same. I mean, it was just a dance to him."
"Then why did he kiss you?"
There was a pause. "It's still not a good idea. I mean, I don't want to lose his friendship or trust if this goes bad."
He took in a breath. You could never lose me, he thought to himself.
"But how are you going to know if you never talk to him about it?"
"I don't think I can. I'm scared he's going to say it was a mistake."
He cleared his throat as he stepped closer to signal them that he was approaching. The talking ceased, as he knew it would and he knocked on the frame of her door as he peeked in. "Hello?"
They were both sitting on her bed, Buffy holding her stuffed pig, Mr. Gordo, and Willow looking up at him. "Giles!" the redhead proclaimed.
He smiled to them both. "Good morning, ladies." He locked eyes with the woman he loved. "Hello, Buffy."
She couldn't help but smile at him. "Hi, Giles."
Willow looked at the two of them. "Wow! Would you look at the time? I gotta go. Places to go, people to not be interrupting." Before protests could be made, she grabbed her bag and darted out the door.
An awkward silence fell over them.
He sighed and sat on the bed across to her, his back to her. "I miss you."
She looked at his back and waited. Watching.
He continued. "Your dance set me free and I realized that there is nothing I want more than to be dancing with you forever. In my heart." This time he turned to her. "I'm in love with you."
Her eyes brimmed with tears, but other than that her expression remained blank. "You are?"
He nodded. "The question I have is: Do you love me?"
She answered him by pulling him across the bed to her and crushing her lips to his. "Of course I do!" she breathed when they came up for air.
He smiled. "Dance with me?"
She nodded and leaped up to her CD player, popping in a CD. When the music started, Buffy smiled. He looked to her in a bit of confusion.
"What song is this?" he asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist. She didn't need to tell him though. The words spoke for themselves.
//Venus de Milo in her half baked shell... Understood the nature of love very well... She said 'a good love is delicious you can't get enough to soon, it makes you so crazy you want to swallow the moon...'//
He smiled and looked down at her. She had her eyes closed and was swaying gently to the music. He realized that they had so much in common it was no wonder that they had found each other.
//Take these stars from my crown, let the years fall down... Lay me out in firelight, let my skin feel the night... Fasten me to your side... Say it will be soon... You make me so crazy baby... Could swallow the moon...//
They had both been through so much. Both were joined in this quest forever to stop darkness. Both were joined in pain as they watched loved ones die, betray and leave them.
//My hands are two travelers they've crossed oceans and land... But they are too small on the continent of your skin... Wandering, wandering... I could spend my life, traveling the length of your body each night...//
They had purpose and they had survived Hell. They stood by each other and yet at the same time battled their own demons alone.
//Take these stars...//
They had done so much and hurt so much and left so much to fate and given in to what their destiny was.
//Let my skin feel the night...//
The song slowly died and he noticed that they had stopped dancing way before that. They were watching each other. Buffy had tears in her eyes. She must have seen it too.
When she spoke, her voice was full of emotion. "We can't be together."
He pressed his lips together and nodded. "I think you're right." He pulled her close to him and held her head to his heart. "You will always be here."
She couldn't help it. She started crying. "Why? Why is it like this?"
He held back his own tears. "Because we have another purpose and those we love always get hurt if we get too close. And I can't hurt you."
She sniffled back a few sobs and looked up at him. "Once last kiss?"
He tilted her head to him and kisses her lips gently. He could taste the salt from some tears that had fallen. "I will always love you and be here for you, but you know that we can't be anything more."
She nodded and pulled back from his arms. "Now we know." She wiped at her eyes and nodded again, reaffirming herself. "We were meant to be alone."
He stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Not alone, Buffy. Just not to feel the type of love that requires such commitment that we disregard our duties. That's when people get hurt."
The room suddenly felt cold to her and she pulled out a sweater, throwing it on. "I understand."
He walked to her and hugged her. "I'll always be here for you. I love you."
She hugged him back. "I love you too."
*~*~*~*~*
Giles stood at the counter of the Magic Box the next morning and watched Anya move things about once again. She noticed him watching and stopped. "What's wrong with you?"
He chuckled. "Where to begin?" He sighed. "Buffy and I aren't going to be together."
Anya tilted her head slightly. "Why not?"
He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "It's complicated. It has to do with destiny."
She nodded. "I was wondering if that was going to happen." She turned to arrange something else. "In that case I think you made a right choice. I mean, who needs to be happy, right? There's destiny to be had. Why have more suffering fighting destiny? It's going to happen anyway because it's destiny, right? So why draw it out to be painful."
He listened to her words and thought about it. "Right."
She whipped around to face him. "You think I'm right?"
He smiled. "Anya, this time I must agree with you. I don't want suffering to be something that I cause Buffy. And I think this is the best way."
Anya looked a bit bewildered. "Oh." She nodded. "Good. It's about time people started listening to me. I mean, I have a lot of valuable input. Like about Willow's haircut. Who is she fooling?"
Anya's voice drifted away as he thought about it. It would never matter what they wanted. Destiny was destiny and you could never see it coming. How do you fight an enemy that you can't see? You don't. So he would stand by her, and be there for her, but he wouldn't push destiny's plan aside for his own happiness. That wasn't fair. So he'd be alone.
//You make me so crazy, baby... Could swallow the moon...//
*~*~*~*~*
Giles paused when he reached the front door to Buffy's house. This was ridiculous. He couldn't be in love with his charge. This wasn't right. Even though she felt so right in his arms. He hesitated before he turned to leave.
The door opened. "Giles?" Dawn poked her head out. "I didn't hear you knock."
He cleared his throat. "Uh, yes. Sorry, I was just going to, um, get something from my car. But it can wait. Is Buffy home?"
She nodded and opened the door wider. "Upstairs. Willow's here."
He stepped inside and felt as nervous as a schoolboy. "Thank you." Each step he took up the stairs felt like it weighed a thousand tons. He could hear the light charm of her voice filtering out of her room and stopped. They were talking about him.
"Will, we went over this last night. I don't think he feels the same. I mean, it was just a dance to him."
"Then why did he kiss you?"
There was a pause. "It's still not a good idea. I mean, I don't want to lose his friendship or trust if this goes bad."
He took in a breath. You could never lose me, he thought to himself.
"But how are you going to know if you never talk to him about it?"
"I don't think I can. I'm scared he's going to say it was a mistake."
He cleared his throat as he stepped closer to signal them that he was approaching. The talking ceased, as he knew it would and he knocked on the frame of her door as he peeked in. "Hello?"
They were both sitting on her bed, Buffy holding her stuffed pig, Mr. Gordo, and Willow looking up at him. "Giles!" the redhead proclaimed.
He smiled to them both. "Good morning, ladies." He locked eyes with the woman he loved. "Hello, Buffy."
She couldn't help but smile at him. "Hi, Giles."
Willow looked at the two of them. "Wow! Would you look at the time? I gotta go. Places to go, people to not be interrupting." Before protests could be made, she grabbed her bag and darted out the door.
An awkward silence fell over them.
He sighed and sat on the bed across to her, his back to her. "I miss you."
She looked at his back and waited. Watching.
He continued. "Your dance set me free and I realized that there is nothing I want more than to be dancing with you forever. In my heart." This time he turned to her. "I'm in love with you."
Her eyes brimmed with tears, but other than that her expression remained blank. "You are?"
He nodded. "The question I have is: Do you love me?"
She answered him by pulling him across the bed to her and crushing her lips to his. "Of course I do!" she breathed when they came up for air.
He smiled. "Dance with me?"
She nodded and leaped up to her CD player, popping in a CD. When the music started, Buffy smiled. He looked to her in a bit of confusion.
"What song is this?" he asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist. She didn't need to tell him though. The words spoke for themselves.
//Venus de Milo in her half baked shell... Understood the nature of love very well... She said 'a good love is delicious you can't get enough to soon, it makes you so crazy you want to swallow the moon...'//
He smiled and looked down at her. She had her eyes closed and was swaying gently to the music. He realized that they had so much in common it was no wonder that they had found each other.
//Take these stars from my crown, let the years fall down... Lay me out in firelight, let my skin feel the night... Fasten me to your side... Say it will be soon... You make me so crazy baby... Could swallow the moon...//
They had both been through so much. Both were joined in this quest forever to stop darkness. Both were joined in pain as they watched loved ones die, betray and leave them.
//My hands are two travelers they've crossed oceans and land... But they are too small on the continent of your skin... Wandering, wandering... I could spend my life, traveling the length of your body each night...//
They had purpose and they had survived Hell. They stood by each other and yet at the same time battled their own demons alone.
//Take these stars...//
They had done so much and hurt so much and left so much to fate and given in to what their destiny was.
//Let my skin feel the night...//
The song slowly died and he noticed that they had stopped dancing way before that. They were watching each other. Buffy had tears in her eyes. She must have seen it too.
When she spoke, her voice was full of emotion. "We can't be together."
He pressed his lips together and nodded. "I think you're right." He pulled her close to him and held her head to his heart. "You will always be here."
She couldn't help it. She started crying. "Why? Why is it like this?"
He held back his own tears. "Because we have another purpose and those we love always get hurt if we get too close. And I can't hurt you."
She sniffled back a few sobs and looked up at him. "Once last kiss?"
He tilted her head to him and kisses her lips gently. He could taste the salt from some tears that had fallen. "I will always love you and be here for you, but you know that we can't be anything more."
She nodded and pulled back from his arms. "Now we know." She wiped at her eyes and nodded again, reaffirming herself. "We were meant to be alone."
He stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Not alone, Buffy. Just not to feel the type of love that requires such commitment that we disregard our duties. That's when people get hurt."
The room suddenly felt cold to her and she pulled out a sweater, throwing it on. "I understand."
He walked to her and hugged her. "I'll always be here for you. I love you."
She hugged him back. "I love you too."
*~*~*~*~*
Giles stood at the counter of the Magic Box the next morning and watched Anya move things about once again. She noticed him watching and stopped. "What's wrong with you?"
He chuckled. "Where to begin?" He sighed. "Buffy and I aren't going to be together."
Anya tilted her head slightly. "Why not?"
He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "It's complicated. It has to do with destiny."
She nodded. "I was wondering if that was going to happen." She turned to arrange something else. "In that case I think you made a right choice. I mean, who needs to be happy, right? There's destiny to be had. Why have more suffering fighting destiny? It's going to happen anyway because it's destiny, right? So why draw it out to be painful."
He listened to her words and thought about it. "Right."
She whipped around to face him. "You think I'm right?"
He smiled. "Anya, this time I must agree with you. I don't want suffering to be something that I cause Buffy. And I think this is the best way."
Anya looked a bit bewildered. "Oh." She nodded. "Good. It's about time people started listening to me. I mean, I have a lot of valuable input. Like about Willow's haircut. Who is she fooling?"
Anya's voice drifted away as he thought about it. It would never matter what they wanted. Destiny was destiny and you could never see it coming. How do you fight an enemy that you can't see? You don't. So he would stand by her, and be there for her, but he wouldn't push destiny's plan aside for his own happiness. That wasn't fair. So he'd be alone.
//You make me so crazy, baby... Could swallow the moon...//