Title: In the Absence of Memory
Author: Yih
Disclaimer: All characters are JK Rowling.
Beta: The magnificent Serra.
~
9: Brewing (October 14, 2003 to October 16, 2003)
He tapped his finger against the cold stone wall. It was deliberate. He liked the steady beat it made, especially since it only served to make the dark glower in Severus' eyes all that much more darker. Truly, Lucius delighted in annoying the bloody hell out of Severus. Actually, Bellatrix was more interesting to irritate, but Severus came a close second. A very close second.
"I am here to inform you," Lucius began with the pomp of circumstance, "that the Dark Lord wants you to tutor Harry Potter in the arts of potion-making. It also brings me the most pleasure to tell you additionally that you will be supervised by Bellatrix."
Severus narrowed his eyes, but he knew better than to say anything especially when his gut told him that Lucius wasn't done gloating. "I know that this must be the thrill of the decade," Lucius continued, "to be watched by that poisoned witch while you do what you enjoy most? Brewing potions. But I think even her presence will not erase the joy you'll get from being with Harry, will it?"
He didn't say anything. That tried Lucius' patience. This time he'd asked Severus a direct question and had been blatantly ignored. He did not like that. "You will answer me," Lucius demanded harshly, his hand moving toward the spot he knew that was most vulnerable. This time he gave no warning, his hand closed over Severus' flaccid penis cruelly. "I require an answer, Severus."
It wouldn't be long before he gave in. Not with the torture that Lucius was inflicting on that susceptible flesh. The only question was how long Severus was going to be stubborn and try to suffer through the agony? Not long was the answer when Severus gasped, "Yes."
"Yes what?" Lucius queried deliberately, tightening his grip instead of releasing it.
"Yes, I will enjoy it."
Lucius grinned vindictively, loosening his torturous grip on Severus' cock. "Now, was that so difficult, Severus?"
It was, but Severus had enough control not to vocalize that. It would only lead to more trouble and more torture. Lucius was more than willing to dole it out to him, should he show the least bit rebellion. As it was, he was making up ways to inflict torture on him plausibly. Why even need a reason? That was Severus' bitter thought. It wasn't like anyone cared.
"I am sure you will find Bellatrix's presence unbearable, am I right?"
Severus nodded stiffly. Better to agree than disagree and face whatever other pain that Lucius would enjoy giving him. It wasn't like he had much to disagree with that particular query. Even when Bellatrix had been sane, he had disliked the witch. Now that she was more insane than sane, he found even more of a reason to despise her to pieces.
Severus stiffened when he felt Lucius' hand caress his cheek. He was well aware of the treachery even in a seemingly gentle touch. Lucius only smiled when he saw the way that Severus responded negatively to his touch. Ever the cautious one, wasn't he? Lucius didn't mind. He did enjoy playing with Severus mind. Cruelty there. Gentleness here.
"I hope you take pleasure in tomorrow," Lucius whispered throatily. "After all, you don't know when you'll be able to see Harry again. Our Lord might just decide that he does not need Harry to learn the art of potion making, considering how finicky the subject is. One needs skill," he remarked, one of his hands reaching down to trace Severus' long fingers, "and I daresay everyone knows what you think of Harry's potion making skills."
"He is not the worst," Severus choked out.
"No," Lucius agreed, "he is not the worst, but neither is he the best."
~
Harry was excited. All Voldemort could do was smile indulgently. Such innocent joy, he observed, wondering if he had ever been like that. He didn't think so, but it had been many years since he'd been as young as Harry. And yet, even when he had been Harry's age, he'd never had this thirst for life--- for power and influence, yes, but never just for life itself.
"Don't forget your wand," he reminded Harry leniently. "Even if potions is more of an art of the hands, the wand is still used sometimes."
"I know," Harry muttered, reaching into the drawer next to their bed. He grabbed the wand, and with a radiant smile still on his face leaned over to kiss Voldemort on the cheek. "Will I see you for lunch?"
"You will," Voldemort confirmed, his hand moving to cup Harry's chin and tilt it upward so that he might possess those innocent lips in a kiss meant to dominate his bond-mate. Desire flared up in his groin as Harry melted into his kiss. There was nothing that Voldemort liked better than knowing that he had someone completely at his mercy. "Now, go," he commanded, breaking the kiss. "Severus does not appreciate tardiness."
It took Harry a moment to get his bearings again, another thing that was immensely pleasing to Voldemort. That only gave him adamant proof of how he affected his bond-mate, and he did want to affect him. When Harry was once again aware of his surroundings, he blushed a most charming pink before scurrying off toward the potions laboratory that Voldemort had set up specifically for Harry's tutorials.
When Harry had disappeared out of the room, Voldemort swept out of his private rooms to his studio at the opposite side of the mansion. He had things to do, especially since the magical boost that Harry had given him the other day was still there. There were several other spells he wanted to try out, and they were not the type that Harry would appreciate witnessing.
Taking in account of his bond-mate's gentleness, he was being considerate enough not to force Harry to watch him try out new torture curses. There was one especially that he like since when cast on a wand mimicked the pain of a knife when the wand touched any part of the wizard's body. To test this new curse out, he called for Lucius to bring him one of the wizards that had been captured during the latest Death Eater raid.
~
Did he knock on the door? Harry's hand hovered over the large wooden door, still undecided about whether to knock on it or not when it flew open. His body stiffened instantly when he heard a commanding voice address him, "Mr. Potter, your tardiness leaves much to be desired. Now, will you please come into the room and shut the door behind you?"
Before Harry could do what Severus told him to do, he was stopped by a cold hand grabbing onto his shoulder. "He will do nothing you say unless he wishes it," Bellatrix declared in a chilling manner. "You understand, Harry, that you are the Master here and not him."
Harry nodded slowly, anything to get her hand off of his person. There was something about Bellatrix that was intensely unnerving. Even now, when she seemed almost sane. The keyword was almost. While her voice was amazingly in control, her eyes were wild and hinted at the madness that was barely leashed. And despite this all, she still had presence. He could only imagine what she was like before her unfortunate stay at Azkaban.
"Don't try anything out of hand, Snape," Bellatrix warned harshly as she swept into the room like she owned the place. "Don't think I won't report the most minute detail to my Lord. You know that I hate to trouble him, but you know of how important young Harry is to him."
"I am well aware," Severus responded brusquely, his dark eyes unyielding to her attempt to dominate him. He wasn't scared of Bellatrix; he never had been. That must have infuriated her, even when she was at the height of her mental capacity. And it didn't make matters easier, that he'd always favored Lucius' argument over hers either in the past. What could he do? Lucius was the one that had been fucking him so pleasurably, even if he sometimes agreed with her more.
"Good," she replied. "That's very good." Bellatrix turned her head toward where Harry was still standing outside of the laboratory. "Are you going to come in and start your lessons with Snape, or not?"
Harry quickly scurried into the room. Making a wide arc around where Bellatrix stood, he approached Severus without the wariness that he showed her. Instead, he went straight up to Severus and held out his hand. "I'm Harry Potter. It's nice to meet you," he greeted amicably. "I've heard much about you, and I hope that I learn a lot from you."
He hoped that was a suitable way to greet a person that had such a severe expression on his face. Unlike Lucius, who almost always had a congenial expression on his face except when he was dealing with Bellatrix, Severus looked almost angry. Harry hoped it wasn't because of him. Then again, he had been late and it might agitate Severus more than it did Lucius.
He really must remember to get here on time next time, if not earlier. Lucius had patiently explained to him that there were certain people that minded tardiness, and that Voldemort was one of them. Harry's lips curved up in amusement. He could have told Lucius that. He knew everything about his bond-mate. He wasn't sure if it was because of their bond, or that this was the reason that they were bonded.
He just knew Voldemort as instinctively as he couldn't remember his past.
"I hope that you learn as well," Severus replied frankly, "but potion making is an art that few are talented at. It takes a steady hand, a quick mind, and a gut feeling that most wizards lack. I wouldn't be surprise if you lack it as well." Especially since, he thought, Harry had never performed well under his instruction before. "But nevertheless, I am here to teach you."
"I am here to learn," Harry stated with soft intensity. "What you are willing to teach me, Professor."
There was something different about this Harry that hadn't been in his Harry, Severus reflected as his dark eye studied the green eyed young man critically. A solemnity that the Harry he'd known had never had, and he didn't quite know if he liked it. The Harry that he was used to had been fiery and passionate, full of life, and this Harry was muted and subdued.
"First," Severus began, grabbing two sharp cutting knives, "we must teach you the proper way in which to slice, chop, and dice your ingredients. Everything must be done in an exact and precise manner. There is no almost in potion making. What is said must be done." He handed the knife to Harry. "I want you to slice the bitterroot carefully. The slices must be thin but substantial."
"Thin but substantial?" Harry queried.
Severus nodded. "Watch me," he directed. He took a large bitterroot and started slowly slicing it, taking his time so that Harry might actually take in what he was trying to teach. "You want it thin enough to have maximum surface area to react with the other ingredients, but you don't want it flimsy enough to break when you mix it. It's a careful balance between width and size."
"I understand," Harry responded, taking a piece of bitterroot and starting to slice it carefully.
When he was finished slicing his bitterroot, it gave Severus the perfect opportunity to watch Harry without seeming like he was studying him for no reason. "That's good, but you don't have to be that careful," he commented, mentally complimenting Harry for actually taking the time to properly prepare the ingredients. Maybe the boy wouldn't be so bad at potions if he wasn't always hurrying to finish up his potions.
"I'm done," Harry declared, smiling. "What's next?"
"We need to dice a cow's tongue," Severus answered, taking two tongues out. "Then we'll need to chop some serpent's tail. Not all these ingredients are necessary for the potion we will be creating, but it is imperative that you know all the methods in which to cut ingredients up."
Harry nodded. That made perfect sense.
"I'm sure," Severus continued onward, "that you're curious about what potion we'll be making?" Harry nodded. He was quite curious. "We will be making a numbing potion. It's the easiest pain relieving potion to be made and with your past history of accidents, I think it a boon if you knew how to make it."
So Severus knew about his past? Harry's eyes widened with interest at the dominating Potions Master. One day, he started plotting, he needed to get Bellatrix out of the room so that he might question Severus about his past. If there was anyone that'd be willing to tell him--- it would be Severus.
~
"So how did the session with Severus go?" Lucius asked politely as he closed the door after Harry. "And how was your lunch with the Dark Lord?"
"It went very well, both of them," Harry responded easily, sitting down with a relaxed expression on his face. For some reason, Lucius made him feel at ease that he didn't feel around anyone else. He didn't feel the contempt and aggression that was behind Bellatrix's looks, and Severus' studious and contemplative stares unnerved him a bit. "So what are you going to teach me today, Lucius?"
"What would you like to learn?" Lucius countered.
Harry shrugged. "Anything you teach is bound to be interesting."
Lucius chuckled. "I suspect," he responded wryly, "that anything is interesting after being stuck doing nothing all day long. But it was necessary for your recovery to be coddled. You nearly died, Harry."
"I didn't nearly die," Harry replied with a tinge of bitterness. "I died. I have no idea who I am anymore. The only thing I know is Voldemort. I know him as well as I don't know myself."
Good, things were playing into his plans perfectly. He did like how easily it had been to worm his way into Harry's trust. Not that Harry had many choices, Lucius thought with an inner smirk, he only had gotten to acquaint himself with Bellatrix and himself. And that really wasn't much of a choice. It figures that Harry would start to rely on him, and he couldn't very well complain about his bond-mate to him, could he?
Especially if Harry as he'd just confessed, knew the Dark Lord that well. He would know Voldemort didn't take too well to criticism. "That may be true," Lucius responded sympathetically, "but you are still alive, and you may still be able to regain your memories." He personally thought it was a hopeless case. There was no possible way to reverse a curse of that magnitude. But it didn't hurt to appear supportive in Harry's crisis.
"Do you really think so?" Harry asked with hopefulness. "I really would like to be able to remember who I really am."
"You may," Lucius answered. "But I don't really think that who you are now is much different than who you use to be. I think this might really be the real you instead of the you who you were before."
"Why do you say that?" Harry questioned. "Did you know me before?"
"I didn't know you, but I did observe you on occasion. You were a boy that had to live in a man's role. You weren't ready, but you were thrust into the position whether you liked it or not." Lucius smiled sadly and reached over to caress Harry's cheek. "I think you were living under a façade, and you had to because of the burden of responsibility that everyone placed on your shoulders.
"But here, you are free from all that. You may act a bit childish," he freely admitted, "but it is not unexpected when you've been acting mature beyond your years before. And is it so bad to be an innocent? Living in ignorance often is a more pleasurable existence than to be wise of all things."
"How would I know if I don't know who I was?" Harry queried softly, not knowing whether to really believe Lucius' words or not.
"Do you trust me, Harry?" Lucius asked, his fingers stroking the underside of Harry's chin.
Harry paused. He knew he trusted Voldemort, only because he knew his bond-mate so well that it'd be impossible for Voldemort to lie to him, not that he told him the full truth. He knew that Voldemort didn't tell him everything, and it was probably best that he didn't. He didn't want to know everything that his bond-mate did because he knew what Voldemort was like.
The question was: did he trust Lucius?
It was a hard question to answer. It wasn't easy. Nothing ever was, the pessimistic part of his mind taunted, not when he didn't know anything about anything. Yet, if there was one person to show him kindness and understanding, it was Lucius. He couldn't help but rely on the older wizard. He was teacher, mentor, and guide. "Yes," he answered throatily. "I trust you."
"That's good," Lucius remarked. "That's very good." He removed his hand from where it was caressing Harry's neck and reached over to grab a book on a nearby shelf. "You do realize that trust between teacher and student is most important, and I'm glad that you've placed your trust in me, Harry. There is much I have to teach you, and it would be easier if you did trust me."
Harry nodded. That made sense.
Lucius grinned. "I've opened the book to a spell that I wish you to read the background theory on. I'm sure you're vaguely familiar with it, but the books you have been reading probably didn't go very much in depth. It's not every wizard that learns this, and it's not considered imperative. But I consider it quite important."
He passed the book to Harry, and Harry lowered his eyes and read the title with interest: How to cast an Unforgivable, Theories and Revelations and Strategies.
~
Author's Note: My muse will probably be on vacation for a while. I thought I'd be able to write another chapter, but right now I think I might be taking a break for all fanfics except MOP. MOP may go absent for a bit too as I try to recover from this writing downtime. Hopefully, I'll be back and better than ever. It's not that I've stopped writing, I just can't write for HP right now. As always, reviews feed my muse. Thanks!
Thanks to: none, Nicole, chriswiz (about Lucius, nice idea, I haven't been thinking ahead for this fanfic), HPFAN4LIFE, Yxonomei, Savage Damsel (sorry, muse went bye bye), Tempest8, abraxis, Carolla (sorry about the lack of visuals), Karaberos, KATHY STGQVK, Snape-Slytherinking, Artemisu (the scenario could happen, imagine V's wrath, scary!), ntamara (your fanfic's very good –cheers- right more), VirginSuicide, Dracolover411, Eaiva le Fay (dangerous indeed), Dir en Grey, The Shadow Bandit (dunno how I do it, but I'm dead tired now).