Author's Notes – Like the titles? I'm having fun with exclamations, as you can plainly see. Anyways, I hadn't planned on doing a second chapter to this fic (it was originally a one-shot) but I got so many reviews that I decided to make a second chapter. I hope you guys like this one, I'm currently running a bit dry in the ol' idea well for quirky happenings, so if you have any ideas, please share them with me. I always, always, ALWAYS take suggestions. It's one of my fanfic policies for when I write.
Rated – PG-13
Reference:
Kagome is in InuYasha's body
InuYasha is in Sango's body
Sango is in Miroku's body
Miroku is in Shippou's body
Shippou is in Kagome's body
Naraku is in Kaede's body
Kirara is in Naraku's body
Sesshomaru is in Rin's body
Rin is in Sesshomaru's body
Jaken is in Kouga's body
Special Author's Note – I will not be using Kikyo in this fic. I know a lot of you want to see her, but I go by the manga's timetable, and in the manga (*SPOILER WARNING*) Kikyo died. That's why she won't be appearing in this fic. If she comes back in the manga and I do a third chapter, then I'll include her, but from the way Takahashi set it up, I'm pretty sure that Kikyo's dead for good this time.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Sesshomaru stared down at his small kimono with a mix of horror and disgust. Not believing his very eyes, the youkai pinched himself, figuring that he was dreaming. He was sorely mistaken.
"Sesshomaru-samaaaaaaa!" He heard is his name cried out in his body's deep masculine voice as his body skipped over to him, a happy childish smile played in its face. Trying to keep a calm demeanor, Sesshomaru patiently looked up at himself.
"Lookie Sesshomaru-sama, we've switched bodies. Isn't that cool?!" Rin squealed excitedly as she threw a flower bouquet around Sesshomaru's neck. The youkai dind't let his emotions show, though his insides crying at the travesty of the situation.
"What's happened?" Sesshomaru asked in his now tiny girlish voice. He pulled the ring of flowers off of his torso and threw it angrily against a nearby tree. Rin, not seeming to notice, ran back to the flower field from which she'd came and began to frolic some more, stopping every once and awhile to smell a flower or chase a butterfly. Sesshomaru prayed to the gods that no respectable demon should see his body in such a state, lest they wish to die a most painful death. Then there was the problem of his own body. It was…human. The very notion that his form took that of such a lowly and honorless creature disgusted him to no end. And to make matters worse, he was a-a-a, a girl. The youkai-turned-cutie-pie let out the loudest thunderous roar of frustration, hoping that it would scare off any youkai that dared to defy him. Too bad his loud thunderous roar of frustration came out as more or less the sound of a small angry kitty reacting to its tail getting stepped on.
"Oh wow, coooooooool!" Rin exclaimed as she pulled out Sesshomaru's whip and began to whip it around playfully. "It's so glowey," Rin said in awe as she watched the whip glow with every passing sweep. Copying an earlier move that she had seen her older guardian pull off, Rin began to spin around in swift circles with the whip flying above her head.
"Hey!" Sesshomaru protested as he watched Rin spin around and around, her now-masculine voice eliciting happy schoolgirl-ish giggles. "That's not a toy," Sesshomaru warned as he walked, or hobbled more like over to the vicinity of Rin.
"Damn this slow human body," he cursed as he slowly made his way over to Rin.
"Tee hee!" Rin squealed in delight as she stopped spinning, and dropping the whip, pulled out the Tenseiga.
"Put that down!" Sesshomaru warned in his high-pitched voice as he jumped up and down vigorously, trying to get Rin's attention.
"Aw, Sesshomaru-sama, you're so cute as me," Rin cooed happily, pointing out the obvious.
"Grrrrrrrrrrrr…" Sesshomaru growled as Rin cooed at him. Sheathing the Tenseiga, Rin walked over to what used to be her body, and picked it up, much to the protest of Sesshomaru.
"Put me down!" Sesshomaru whined as he tried to wiggle free. Rin let out a small laugh and hugged Sesshomaru as tightly as possible.
"Gak!" Sesshomaru gasped as Rin cuddled him. Rin sat down and began to rock back and fourth, humming soothingly.
"Time to sleep Sesshomaru-sama," Rin said softly as Sesshomaru let out a yelp of protest and began to wiggle more.
"Lemme go." Sesshomaru protested in a calm demeanor, trying desperately not to lose his cool as he continued to wiggle.
"You're cranky Sesshomaru-sama, you need sleep," Rin said authoritatively, loving the newfound authority and strength that she now had over her guardian.
"But I don't wanna!" Sesshomaru screamed before slammed his hand over his mouth. It was probably the most uncharacteristic thing he had ever said. "Oh gods, I sound just like a human child," he thought to himself in horror, the impossibility of himself sound so, so, juvenile coming to reality. Not to mention he sounded human. Oh gods, if he had the opportunity, he would kill himself for that last comment. He shook his head, trying to make himself come to his senses. Rin, taking advantage of situation, gave Sesshomaru a kiss on the forehead and hugged him closer, hoping that he would calm down and go to sleep. Sesshomaru, against his will, began to feel his new tiny body become heavy with sleep. Just as his eyes began to close, they suddenly snapped open again.
"Where's Jaken?" Shesshomaru yelped uncharacteristically,
"Jaken-sama woke up, screamed, and ran away," Rin explained.
"He did?" Sesshomaru asked, fully awake. Rin, giving up on being able to put Sesshomaru to sleep, enveloped Sesshomaru in a HUGE bear-hug.
"Can't…breathe…" Shesshomaru gasped, at least pleased with the fact that he knew that he was as strong as he had thought he was.
Jaken woke up with a start, his breathing labored. Sitting up, he took a look at his surroundings, noting that they were different from when he had gone to sleep. This didn't bode well with him.
"What in the world?" Jaken asked before he grasped his throat. "My voice," he said as he felt his throat, noting that it was strangely smooth. Looking down, he also noticed that his body was not only smooth, but more, er, peach than usual. Scrambling up, Jaken searched for a mirror, and without any success, ran outside of the small cave that he appeared to have been sleeping in and scouted for water. Finding a small pool, he looked down, and screamed.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Jaken screamed in horror, disgust, and agony as he stared down as his reflection, being that of Kouga.
"HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!" Jaken screamed into the air as he looked around, his senses alert. He was greatly unnerved by the sound of angry wolves growling, having been woken up so early in the morning by their leader.
"Lord Sesshomaru? Rin? Anyone?" Jaken whispered as he slowly backed away from the angry pack of animals. With a tremendous growl, the wolves pounced on Jaken. Closing his eyes and fearing the worst, he was greatly shocked when he felt…slobbering.
"Ick!" Jaken yelled out as he opened his eyes to discover the wolves licking his face, all of them happy to see their master awake and well. "Get away from me you stupid ugly wolves!" Jaken shouted, immediately regretting the words as they left his mouth. The wolves looked at him with anger and disappointment, and with a yelp Jaken stood up and ran for dear life.
"Wow, I can run faster than I ever could before," Jaken said to himself breathlessly as he ran through the forest. Behind him he heard howls, and soon he heard the pitter patter of a bunch of little feet all chasing after him. Jaken screamed like a little girl and continued to run until he came upon a clearing, where to his delight he found his master.
"SESSHOMARU-SAMA, HEEEEEEEEEELP!!!" Jaken screamed as he ran over to Sesshomaru and a pissed-off-looking Rin.
"Who are you?" Sesshomaru asked in an uncharacteristically high voice.
"It's me, Jaken! Help me, those wolves are out to kill me!" Jaken said as he bowed down to Sesshomaru's form. Rin gave a hmph of displeasure.
"Aw, Jaken-sama! You mean you switched bodies too?" Sesshomaru's voice squealed as he enveloped Jaken in a big hug. Jaken nearly passed out from both the force of the hug and the shock that these actions just came from his ever-silent and black-hearted evil master.
"What…?" Jaken managed to squeak out.
"We switched bodies too! See!" Sesshomaru squealed as he picked up a now extremely pissed-off and until that moment, silent Rin and held her up. "Sesshomaru-sama is me now, and I'm Sesshomaru-sama. Tee hee, I'm tall!" Rin added with great pleasure. Sesshomaru gave a look that figuratively launched a thousand iced-over daggers at Jaken. Jaken fainted at the revelation.
"Jaken-sama?" Rin asked as she forgot about Sesshomaru and dropped him on his butt. Rin tried to wake up Jaken by poking him with the Tenseiga, something which didn't seem to have any affect. Sesshomaru meanwhile growled, but didn't move from the spot where he fell. Instead he sat there, wishing to the heavens that the gods would strike him dead where he sat. Suddenly, Rin and his ears perked up at the sound of growling, and before they realized it, they were surrounded by the Wolf Tribe.
"Looks like the gods answered my prayer," Sesshomaru said to himself. Then again, if he died, who would kill InuYasha? Deciding that anyone else besides him killing his brother was an unallowable event, Sesshomaru walked over to his body and took out his whip. Sesshomaru then turned around to face what he figured was the alpha male (lead wolf) of the pack. Opening his mouth, Sesshomaru let out the scariest, angriest, evilest damn war cry he could think of. The crowd of enemies looked at him with a look of shock and amusement.
His bad his scary, angry, evil war cry sounded more like a baby seal calling for its mother than an actual attempt to psych out his enemy. The wolves howled with laughter. Rin, who had done nothing but watch, couldn't help but laugh as well. Sesshomaru, not one to take any kind of ridicule, raised his whip above his head, and with another thunderous girly squeak he lunged at the alpha male, jumping up to smite him with his mighty whip...
Only to fall down on his belly with a loud *thud*. The alpha male looked at Sesshomaru curiously as Sesshomaru got up and tried to do the exact same movement again, only to again fall on his stomach. Standing back up, Sesshomaru began trying to raise the whip up. It was then that he realized that his body was strong enough to hold the actual whip, but not strong enough to lift it above the ground. Not one to give up so easily, Sesshomaru continued to struggle with the whip; tugging and pulling and pushing, trying to at least get half of it off of the ground. The alpha male, forgetting why it had led the group out after these creatures, gave Sesshomaru a small lick on the forehead and motioned for the others to retreat.
Sesshomaru was perturbed. Rin, having had her fun with watching her guardian struggle with his newfound physical shortcomings, went back to poking the still-unconscious Jaken with the Tenseiga.
Meanwhile, back at the villiage, Sango paced anxiously around a cage that contained Naraku. Or rather, Naraku in Kaede's body. Naraku had put up a fuss at first when the group had trapped him, but the fact that he had switched bodies with an old woman kept him from doing any damage, and he was easily controlled. Sitting by the cage, Sango petted the top of Naraku's head, as Naraku was currently embodied by Kirara. Kirara had tried to snuggle up on Sango's lap, but when it realized that it was a tad too large, it settled for cuddling next to it's master and putting its head in her lap. Kirara let out a small purr of happiness when Sango stroked its hair, which caused her to stop. As Kirara soon learned; in Naraku's body, a small purr of happiness sounded like a lion growling.
Sango guarded the cage in one corner of Kaede's hut while the rest of the group drank tea or stared into nowhere. Although in InuYasha's case, he was staring at Sango intently.
"What?" Sango asked,
"You are so cute," InuYasha said as he stared longingly at Sango, who was presently in Miroku's body. Sango blushed crimson and threw her Hiraikotsu at him.
"OW!!!" InuYasha whined as he rubbed his now-sore forehead. Miroku, who was currently inhabiting Shippou's body, sweatdropped.
"I don't understand it. Why is InuYasha attracted to my body?" Miroku asked,
"I have no idea," Kagome said from another area of the room.
"It's these damn female hormones, they're making me all weird," InuYasha complained.
"How are you feeling by the way?" Kagome asked,
"My stomach hurts, my lower back hurts, my legs hurt, and I feel like my emotions are at war," InuYasha said, tears forming in his eyes. "Sango, make it stop!" InuYasha cried out,
"I'm sorry InuYasha, you're just going to have to deal with it," Sango said with a sigh. InuYasha let out a loud howl of sadness and curled up into a little ball.
Kagome meanwhile, blushed red and wiggled. At first no one seemed to notice, but the constantly wiggling finally got on Miroku's nerves.
"Kagome you're wiggling worse than a jitter-bug," Miroku commented.
"I know but…" Kagome trailed off.
"But what?" Shippou, who had been silent so far, asked.
"Uh, I, er, um, eh-heh…" Kagome stammered as she blushed so red that her face began to turn purple.
"What, do you have an itch that you can't scratch?" Shippou asked,
"No…"
"Ants in your pants?"
"No…"
"Bed bugs?"
"No…"
"Staff infection?" Miroku asked, eliciting a few glances of utter bewilderment and disgust.
"I gotta, I gotta…"
"Yes?" Sango, Miroku, and Shippou asked.
"Well, uh, we've all been drinking tea, and uh…" Kagome stammered, unsure of how to phrase her reason for discomfort. The rest of the group looked at her with curiosity. "I have to go to the bathroom," Kagome confessed in a small voice.
"So?" Miroku asked, crestfallen that it wasn't something else that would make Kagome squirm.
"I'm in InuYasha's body, that's the problem!" Kagome vented.
"So?" Shippou asked,
"So, I used to be a girl…" Kagome said, strongly hinting at the problem. Sango blushed while Shippou looked on with a look of confusion. Miroku let out a slight chuckle.
"So what? You don't know how to go as a boy?" Miroku inquired, something which made Kagome blush and nod.
"Aw, that's not hard at all," Shippou said,
"Yeah," Miroku added.
"But I don't wanna touch anything and I don't even know how to, er, go!" Kagome whined.
"It's easy," Shippou started,
"Yeah, you just whip it out, aim, and fire," Miroku finished bluntly. Sango screamed and hurled her staff at Miroku's head. Naraku, who had been completely silent up until that point, laughed menacingly.
"Kukukukuku…"
"SHUT UP!!!" Kagome yelled as she took out the Tetsusaiga and aimed it at Naraku's head.
"Calm down Kagome, look, let me give you a few pointers. First of all, find something to aim at that's not above your waist, and once you're done, if you shake it more than twice then you're playing with it." Miroku said knowledgably. The entire group, including InuYasha and Naraku, blanched and paled. Speechless, Kagome left the hut and the situation.
After a few minutes, the group wiped their memories clean of the conversation that had previously ensued and went back to sitting around.
"So what do we do about Naraku?" Shippou asked, breaking the silence.
"At this point I don't know. His consciousness is in Kaede's body, and Kirara's consciousness is in his body. I don't know whether we have to kill his consciousness or his body or both.
"Kukukuku, you cannot kill me, it took countless demons to form me," Naraku said crookedly from behind the cage. Sango asked for Miroku to pass her the staff that she had thrown at him earlier, and complying with her request, Sango proceeded to smack Naraku on the head.
"Kukukukukuku- ow!"
"Shut up," Sango said blatantly.
"Do not disrespect the king of all youkai!" Naraku thundered with his old-lady voice. Sango, bored, whacked him over the head with her staff again.
"Nobody cares," she said.
"I am indestructible, invincible, and I shall make you all suffer horrible fates," Naraku hissed. Sango bashed him over the head for the third time.
"You can't even get out of a cage made of wood and ofundas (charms that Miroku uses)." Sango challenged, her face showing that she was still bored with his rants.
"Kukukukuku, try as you might, you will never be able to hold me or hurt me," Naraku challenged as he ran up to attack Sango, forgetting that he was in a cage. Slamming into the bars, Naraku stumbled backwards and fell over, dazed. InuYasha began to simultaneously laugh and cry hysterically. Miroku tried desperately in his mind to figure out how a person could both laugh in extreme happiness and cry in extreme sadness at the same time. Shippou pointed and laughed along with Sango.
"Not so tough now, are you?" Shippou teased, Naraku glared at the kitsune-turned-human girl. He stood up, only to stumble back down again.
"Oh no, I have been smitten!" Naraku exclaimed. Everyone looked on with interest,
"What, did you stab yourself in the bars or something?" Shippou asked,
"No, but oh the pain!" Naraku howled.
"Did you stub your toe?" InuYasha asked,
"The agony!"
"Sprain your ankle?"
"Ouch, no!"
"Splinter?"
"No."
"Broken bone?"
"No."
"Osteoporosis?" Kagome asked as she entered the hut, her face covered with a blush.
"Have fun?" Miroku teased. Kagome hit him over the head with the blunt end of the Tetsusaiga in response.
"Er, no," Naraku said in an anguished response.
"Bend a joint the wrong way?" Sango guessed,
"No."
"Menopause?" Miroku asked. If looks could kill, the looks that Kagome and Sango gave him would've struck him dead in a split-second.
"NO!!!" Naraku shouted as he nursed his finger.
"Something wrong with your finger?" Shippou guessed,
"Yes," Naraku whimpered,
"What then?"
"I broke a nail!" Naraku confessed in anguish as he began to cry. Everyone facefaulted. Yup, the world was definitely taking a turn for the strange.
The End?
I'm sorry about the delay in the story you guys. I got so many reviews that I decided to go ahead and do a second part to my one shot, so I hope you all enjoyed it. It's kind of hard because I used a lot of my ideas in the first two chapters, so if anyone wants to see a third chapter to this small story, by all means, share your ideas. I use most of them (read my other fics if you don't believe me, I almost always use suggestions), and I'd love to hear your feedback. Also, don't give me any ideas for Kikyo. If you're wondering why, just read the Special Author's Note above the title. Please review and tell me your thoughts and ideas!