Windows
Author: GalesMystique
Disclaimers: I don't own anything. Read, don't sue.
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: Overall it is R/NC-17. The first few chapters however, are rated PG-13.
Warnings: Slash. Don't like, don't read.
Summary: One of the two boys' thoughts on the other and the prospect of their relationship…or lack of.
Author's Notes: First part in many. I had this written a long time ago, never posted it, college, work, and losing my floppy disk with all my fics on it…so, let me know if you like it or not, I love reviews.
Part 1
[-Questions-]
Everywhere I turn, everywhere I go, everywhere I look, there you are. Always watching, always staring, always plotting.
Are you waiting for me to fall into your trap?
I never understood why you did all those things. Did you hate me that much? Was your hate for me truly that deep?
But you know what?
I never hated you for all those things. I never hated you.
Surprised to say…I loved you. Wait. That's not true. I love you.
Yes, after all the things that you do to make me suffer, I still love you.
Why? Well you know what they say…there's a thin line between love and hate. Other people also say that 'opposites attract'. I never believed the old clichés until I met you.
You might think love is silly, that a person like you deserve love, least of all from me. But it's alright. All that matters is that I love you. Maybe you'll change your mind one day. I hope I could be there when you do, because maybe then, you'd accept my love.
Even now as these thoughts run through my head, you're there. You're watching me. You stare at me with your intense eyes, almost as if you could read what's inside my head. Can you read my mind? Do you know what I'm thinking?
I stare back at you, and for a brief moment our eyes bear into one another. I see in your eyes for a moment, I see hurt. Are you in pain?
You realize that I'm staring back at you and you turn away. You walk away with your two friends besides you, and you don't even look back to look at me once more.
While you walk away, I ponder on what I saw in your eyes. I don't understand the look of hurt in your eyes. You're always happy, or at least it seems that way. Why would that be there? Why would it haunt you?
My gaze is on you walking away. I know you can feel it, I see it. Your back tenses as you walk away. You pause for a second. You turn your head to look in my direction. We make eye contact again, and my heart leaps.
You turn back when your friends ask you what's wrong and you say it's nothing. You walk away once again, leaving me to stare at your back. As I watch your retreating back, my mind screams 'don't go away, please don't go away'. Do you hear me?
I let out a sigh and I turn around, heading back to my dormitories. I meet my friends on the way, who were just coming back from the Great Hall, on their way to the Common Room. We walk back together, the two of them talking while I stay quiet.
My silence doesn't go by unnoticed; they see my sullen face as well. They ask me what's bothering me and I just shrug them off, telling them it's nothing. They know better than to pry and leave the matter alone. The two resume their conversations again while I stay silent.
Once we get to our Common Room and say the password, the other two go in ahead while I linger a bit, lagging behind. I can feel eyes on me and I know it's you. My face feels like it's about to burst into a smile, if it weren't for my composure. I ignore you and I make my way to enter my Common Room.
Your hand grabs my arm as soon as I take a step into the Common Room, pulling me back out. I'm startled at your actions, for you've never done anything like this. I'm afraid, yet I still love you.
My friends notice that I'm not behind them and they come back out. Seeing us together, they're suddenly defensive. You let go of my arm, telling me three simple things.
"11 o'clock. Trophy Room. Duel, no seconds."
Then you turn around and leave; your robes swishing behind you as you walk so elegantly. What you said to me still rings in my head, "11 o'clock. Trophy Room. Duel, no seconds."
I try my best to pass the time, doing my studies, reading a book, going out to fly, but nothing can get my mind off of what would happen tonight. What will happen tonight?
Will it be like any other duel that we've had, cursing each other with whatever spells that comes into our head at the last minute? Making ourselves suffer with the injuries we sustain from it? Humiliating each other for the sake of rivalry? All of these seem pointless to me. So why do we do it?
Maybe I'll ask you that question tonight. Will you answer me?
I pace around the common room absentmindedly. Everything's a blur; I don't notice the looks that my fellow housemates are giving me. I don't care about them; all I care about this very moment is waiting for the time to come so that I can meet you. Just one more hour to go.