In some ironic twist of fate, my first reviewer was from 'legolashater,' who said Legolas is butt ugly…Now this is ironic because I happen to think he is a god…I'm just going to assume that this 'legolashater' agrees with Shawn. Whatever…You're my first reviewer for the rewritten fanfic!

Welcome to My World

Kayo

Chapter II: Umm…Glorious Hotness?

Across the massive expanse of grass, Shawn saw something he thought he would never see; orcs. Literally hundreds of them. Well, that might be over exaggerating, but there were about a twenty or so littering the football field. Shawn had seen the movies; of course, Nina dragged him along for the ride. That way Shawn would have to pay for the movie and Nina would be able to gaze upon her other love obsession. Nina would look at the screen and see her hot elf, and then look to her right and hold Shawn's hand. He swore that she daydreamed of him being an elf. Too bad an elf wouldn't be from the Philippines.

The orcs were worse than the ones in the movies. Shawn doubted if Tolkien even had the ability to describe what they were really like. Shawn could smell their stench from fifty yards away. They shouted their war cries and shook their swords high in the air. Most were very confused and were looking around like lost dogs. Shawn jumped behind an overly large trashcan and prayed that they didn't see him. That would be the last thing he needed, and army of orcs using him as a rag doll.

Suddenly he heard the awful screeches of the creatures. Peering over the edge very slowly, he scanned the area, wondering what was causing them to shriek. Several fell at one moment. A figure nimbly slashed through the orc bodies like a knife through a blade of grass. A few arrows flew, but they were countered with a swift movement from the knives. Nothing could stop it. Finally, the last two orcs fell to the ground, and Shawn caught sight of the figure's face.

"Orlando Bloom?!?" The figure spun around, looking in the direction of Shawn. He ducted as quickly as he could behind the trashcan. Well now, that was stupid. Now he's going to kill me! Orlando Bloom…More like Lord of the Rings fanatic that happens to be an assassin! Shawn felt his heart beating faster and faster, pulsating through his whole body. If anything, the assassin would hear his heart beat to figure out where he was if he didn't see him duck behind the trashcan!

Other than his own heart beat, he couldn't hear anything else. Maybe he went away! Very slowly, he came out of the fetal position (which he denies he ever was in) and peered over the top of the trash can. No one there. He left!

"Man toi nesse?" (Who are you?) Shawn turned around and saw the assassin pointing his knives straight at him. "Man toi nesse?" He repeated.

Shawn sat there, unable to come up with a response. Wow, this guy is really into it! Oh shit, I'm going to die! It was then he noticed his ears. They were pointed, like an elf's. And the long blond hair, and green tunic, and knives and arrows…was it really Orlando Bloom in full costume? It couldn't be what Shawn was thinking. There was no possible way. But he had to know. "Legolas?"

He flinched at the sound of his name. "Lda nole nin esta?" (You know my name?) He paused and stared at Shawn. "Man toi nesse?" he said sullenly.

Shawn didn't know what to do! He was so confused, but he thought that he had one thing figured out. This crazy lunatic was Legolas, which in itself was a feat. He didn't want to be killed, so he raised his hands up in defense. He tried to show him that he didn't have any weapons as he stood up. Legolas eyed him as he put them back down to his side and looked around.

The orc bodies littered the middle of the football field. That would be easy to explain. "So Shawn, how did these orc bodies get here?" They fell from the sky, I swear! That was when Shawn realized something. They were being taped. There was a video camera on the field. There was a video camera everywhere in the school. Shawn started to panic. Had someone seen everything that had just happened? What would that mean? Would they call the police and have Legolas arrested? Of course they didn't know that this was the real Legolas. When they figured that out, they would probably want to dissect him or something. Then they would come after Shawn because he had encountered him, and…Oh shit!

"Look, I don't know if you understand me or not, and quite frankly, I don't care! But if anyone sees you, we're dead!!" Shawn looked desperately at Legolas. He hadn't understood a word. He was still pointing both knives straight at him. Shawn let out a sigh and tried to think of a way to make the elf trust him. He tried to think what one of the characters in the movie would do. Pointing to himself and saying "Shawn" wouldn't help. He didn't exactly know any Elvish.

Legolas continued to stare at him. The glare intensified as Shawn stared back. He rummaged through his mind to try to remember anything from the movie that could help. He remembered the part where Gandalf had to say some password to make the door open. And it was Elvish, and Frodo asked what the word for friend was…Ahh! What the hell was it?!? Finally, he blurted out, "MELLON!"

Legolas was surprised that the human knew some form of Elvish, and seemed to consider whether Shawn was a so called friend or not. Judging by the way he stopped pointing his knives at him, Shawn figured he had gained some sort of trust. He sighed in relief and extended his hand. "I'm Shawn. SHAWN." Wow, he felt stupid. Then again, he didn't want to be called, Imshawn. Legolas was familiar with the gesture and they shook hands. "Nin esta Legolas." (My name is Legolas.)

Shawn shook his head, "Ya, I know that." Legolas gave him a puzzled look. He waved his hand as if to brush it off. "Never mind. We need to get you out of here. Who knows if someone saw you killing those orcs." He motioned for Legolas to follow him. Legolas was cautious at first, but where else was he going to go? He followed a few steps behind.

Shawn occasionally looked over his shoulder to see if the blond elf was still following him. He had put his knives back and was looking at the landscape. They were headed for Shawn's house. Maybe he could hide Legolas in his closet…wait, then his parents would think he was gay. Not that there was anything wrong with that! He just wasn't. They walked down the narrow path that was paved to connect the high school with the primary school. Shawn still had to get his little sister. A thought popped into his mind.

What if someone sees him?!? Shawn started to panic again. Not only did he have the school's security system to worry about, but now he had to take into consideration if anyone saw him. That would be just great. Another thing to explain to the elf, why people knew his name. How was he even going to explain it himself?!

He glanced back behind him and saw someone walking down the path…towards the football field! Shit! It's probably someone from the football team! A group of cheerleaders (easy to spot from their brightly colored uniforms) followed the tall boy. They would see the dead orc bodies, call the police, and major conflicts would ensue. The best thing to do would be to bring the Elf to his house. When he heard someone scream from the football field, he urged Legolas into a run down the hill towards the primary school.

They walked down the path as the old brick building came into view. A few trees swayed in the breeze as leaves fell off the branches and danced in the sky as they descended to the ground. The playground outside the school was empty, to Shawn's luck. Maybe he could have Legolas sit on one of the swings and wait for him to get Megan. That could work.

The path started to turn to dirt as Shawn and Legolas passed by the first of many picnic tables. They were on the other side of the chain link fence. Legolas appeared like he was interested in the thin twisted metal, but refrained from examining it. They approached the gate that let people into the playground. Shawn opened the swinging gate and motioned for Legolas to follow him.

"Look. I have to get my sister, Megan, before we head to my house." He put his hands up, trying to make Legolas understand that he wanted him to stay there. As he started walking towards the front of the school, he heard someone coming around the corner of the building. He stopped dead in his tracks.

An hourglass figure bended around the corner. "Chloe?" Shawn choked out. "What are you doing here?!?" The girl glared at him as she walked towards him. Her purse banged against her hip in a rhythmic pattern. Chloe was Nina's best friend, and also Nina's complete twin. Other than the fact Chloe wanted Haldir, for some odd reason Nina couldn't understand, they both loved elves, they both wrote fanfiction, and they both wrote lists of what they would do if their elf was chained up naked in their basements…Shawn had found the list in Nina's bedroom. Chloe stopped in front of him and put her hands on her hips.

"Oh, so Nina has to be around for me to be near you? I see how it is!" She folded her arms. "And for your information, I'm down here for school. I'm volunteering here and learning how to be a teacher," she said matter-of-factly. She saw someone sitting on a picnic table a little ways back. "Who's you're friend?"

Shawn jumped in her line of vision. "No one! I think he's a rapist actually! You better run, Chloe! He likes women!" Scare her, scare her! Use fear of possible sexual abuse! Chloe only tried to push him away to get a better look. Not working! Shawn tried to block her from seeing who was sitting at the table.

"Obviously it's not a rapist, you dork!" She elbowed him in the stomach. "Now let me see!" She ducked under his arm and gained access to the mysterious one sitting on the picnic bench. She gasped in surprise.

"Glorious hotness!"

tbc…

I only added in one measly paragraph to this chapter from the original, while correcting "Phillipines." I swear I'll never be able to spell it right or get the right place down! Uhh! Just a warning, I don't think I'll need to change the next chapter, so for all those who have read it before, nothing new there….but you could still review, lol.

Responses to Reviews:

Dreamstrifer: Yes, I can't wait for more cute Megan! Maybe I'll add in something next chapter. ^_^ I love her so much! Ahh, so you don't like Jared…owell. He's modeled after a guy I like's body and the personality of another guy! ^_^ ::hugs Jamin:: "Will you please hack into you-know-what and do some major damage???"

Supergurl15: Ya, it was deleted. You'll have to wait a while for the new chapters. I was thinking about revising the chapters with anything to do with Peter Jackson, but from one point on, what I was planning would've been the same thing. So don't worry, the ending will be nearly the same as I planned it to be!

Josh: lol, you like Jared. Do you like yourself? Again? You've always been hooked on this! "So how's it comin?" My god, don't you know how lazy I am?!? ^_^ ttyl

Witch of Darkness: Yes, there should be more fanfics with main characters as guys. It's more entertaining. Thanks for the review! Glad to know that some people are reading this for the first time! ^_^

Smushed Pea: It actually exists! I printed it out too! (For no real reason at all) It's called 'A Little Nudge Out of the Door' I think you should all read it if you haven't already! You will read more! Lol, thanks for the review!

Katronette: The world needs a lot of things…fanfics is just one of them! ^_^

legolashater: NO! LEGOLAS IS HOT!

See ya later!