Author's notes – Hey everyone! I'm so sorry that it's taken so long to get this next chapter out. Ths fic ended up being a lot bigger and more intricate than I ever thought it would be, not to mention the fact that body-switching fics are one of the hardest genres that you can write. I've also been incredibly busy with school and friends, not to mention I've been watching a lot of the news lately due to certain world events that we all know about. Anyways, here's the next installment of the fic! I plan to be a bit better with the next installment, should there be a next one.
Rated – PG – 13 for language
By - Merc
Reference:
Kagome is in InuYasha's body
InuYasha is in Sango's body
Sango is in Miroku's body
Miroku is in Shippou's body
Shippou is in Kagome's body
Naraku is in Kaede's body
Kirara is in Naraku's body
Kouga is in Myouga's body
Special author's note – In the Japanese version, Kouga calls InuYasha, Inu-koro. That's Japanese for "dog-crap." Kouga-kun's so nice, eh? LOL
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!
Kouga jolted awake, his body dripping with cold sweat. Panting, he sat up, and looked at his surroundings.
"What a dream…" Kouga mumbled to himself as he went to stand up. Suddenly, he froze. His voice didn't sound like the tenor masculinity that it usually had. It sounded tinier, and much…older. Figuring that it was just his imagination running wild with him, Kouga stood up and looked around the room that he woken up in. "That's odd, everything is so big," Kouga thought to himself as he wandered throughout the room. He jumped over the large cracks in the wooden floor and looked up at the giant table in front of him. Growing impatient with his inability to get anywhere, Kouga turned to run…and promptly fell over. "Has someone stolen the Shikon shards in my legs?" Kouga wondered as he looked down…and nearly wet his pants. In fact, due to the lack of bladder control at his body's age, he did wet his pants.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK!!!" Kouga screamed as he stared in horror at his now-stubbly legs and aged kimono. "What the-, what? Wha? Huh? What…?" Kouga stammered as he checked himself over.
"I'M A FLEA?!" Kouga screamed in his tiny elderly voice as he looked up and down the room. Suddenly, a horrible realization hit him, one which nearly caused him to cry.
"I'm that horrible flea that's always with that Inu-koro. Wait, I'm InuYasha's FLEA?! The only thing worse than being that Inu-koro's parasite is to be his toe jam!" Kouga whined as he thought about the horrible irony of everything. "So it wasn't a dream," Kouga thought to himself, recalling his nightmare from earlier that night, where he had dreamt that he had switched bodies with the flea that rode on InuYasha. The one that called itself Myouga. Suddenly, Kouga slapped his fist into his hand and exclaimed,
"I know what this is! This is one of those dream in a dream things! Yup, all I have to do is pinch myself and I'll wake up back with my tribe, and not as my worst-enemy's tapeworm or whatever the hell that Myouga is." And with that declaration, Kouga pinched his cheek as hard as he could. Noticing that he wasn't waking up, Kouga gave a sigh of defeat and with a whimper, slumped to the ground. As he sulked, his ears picked up a conversation. The voices sounded familiar, two females, two males, a small child, and what sounded like a very evil old woman. Suddenly, Kouga's ears perked up. One of those females was Kagome! He was next to the room where InuYasha's group was staying! Kouga, unable to contain his excitement, bounced into the next room, where he took in a sight like no other.
Through Kouga's viewpoint, he saw what looked like Kagome sitting in a very, er, male fashion, her legs spread as wide as possible, and she was scratching her butt. The monk called Miroku, meanwhile, was cradling Naraku's head and petting his hair, every once and awhile singing a small lullaby to it. The small kitsune of the group got up and wandered over to Miroku, asking him if he would be willing to let him sit in his lap and be petted like Naraku. Miroku, seemingly annoyed, agreed, and Shippou crawled onto his lap and let Miroku give him the same treatment as Naraku. The taijiya meanwhile was huddled in a corner, crying her eyes out and was what appeared to Kouga to be praying for the gods to strike her dead from some phantom pain. InuYasha, meanwhile, stood in a corner, glaring at the old ugly miko woman in a cage that Kouga had be introduced to as Kaede.
Kouga took in the sight, and promptly facefaulted like he had never facefaulted before. Figuring that he would go by the "don't-ask-don't-tell" principal, he gazed longingly over at Kagome. Hopping happily over to her, Kouga scrambled next to her hear and latched on.
"Kagome my love!" Kouga exclaimed into her ear, causing her to scream. Everyone in the room looked at Shippou, who was in Kagome's body.
"What's wrong?" Sango asked as she continued to pet Miroku and Kirara. Shippou began to scratch his ear vigorously,
"Ack! There's something stuck on my ear, and it itches!" Shippou complained as he continued to scratch. Kouga, figuring his self-proclaimed fiancé hadn't heard him, announced a second time,
"Kagome my love! It's me, Kouga, I'm here for you my love!" Shippou, relatively freaked out by that point, smacked the side of his face. A now-flat Kouga floated to the ground.
"I'm Shippou," Shippou responded, not knowing that Kouga didn't know that everyone in the group had switched bodies as well.
"I'm Kagome," Kagome said as she pointed to herself. She too had forgotten that Kouga wouldn't know that she was now in InuYasha's body.
"Myouga?" InuYasha whimpered from the corner as he picked himself up and cautiously dragged himself over to where Kouga had fallen. Shippou poked Kouga awake.
"Where have you been Myouga?" InuYasha questioned painfully, "We really need your help. Everybody's been switchin' bodies."
"I'm not Myouga, taijiya, I'm Kouga!" Kouga said as he jumped to his feet and bounced up onto Shippou's lips, giving them a small kiss. Shippou blanched and smacked Kouga into pancake for the second time.
"EH?!" Shippou, InuYasha, Sango, Miroku, and Kagome exclaimed at the same time.
"You mean that you switched bodies with Myouga?" Kagome questioned, to which Kouga nodded in response. InuYasha suddenly got a very evil look in his eye.
"I may be gassy, weak, half-dead from stomach cramps, and emotionally disturbed, but I can still beat the living crap outta ya!" InuYasha said as he began to smack his palm down on Kouga's head repeatedly. *Wham!* *Wham!* *Wham!* *Wham!* *Wham!* *Wham!* *Wham!* *Wham!* *Wham!* *Wham!* InuYasha's hand sounded as it smacked forcefully into the floor.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow…" Kouga cried from underneath the barrage, too weak and too small to be able to counterattack.
"InuYasha, osuwari!" Shippou yelled out in an attempt to get him to stop. However, the kitsune soon remembered to his horror that InuYasha was in Sango's body, and not in his own.
BAM!!! Kagome sounded as her face crashed forcefully into the floor. The real InuYasha, in the meantime, became distracted by Kagome's cries of pain, and a relatively flat Kouga slinked out from InuYasha's reach.
"Owie…" Kagome whined as she rubbed her nose.
"I'm so sorry Kagome!" Shippou said as he raced over and gave Kagome a hug. Kouga, who had been recovering, suddenly jumped at this action and with an enraged tiny growl went to launch at the two. Suddenly, another giant hand smacked down on him.
"My…love…" Kouga said weakly from beneath the hand of the very evil and now very feminine Naraku.
"Kukukukuku," Naraku chuckled evilly in his old-woman voice. Miroku, Sango, and Kirara, who had been sitting idly by, shook their heads. Miroku, who was in Shippou's body, didn't want to move because he knew that he wouldn't be getting this kind of treatment from Sango again anytime soon. After all, it wasn't every day when the taijiya was stroking his head rather than bashing it in with a certain giant youkai-boned boomerang. Sango, on the other hand, being that she was in Miroku's body, picked up his Buddhist staff and smacked Naraku's hand.
"Kukukuku…ow!" Naraku yelped as he yanked his hand back into his cage and began to cry pitifully.
"Sango, you are cruel!" Naraku exclaimed wearily. Sango gave a small hmph of displeasure, wishing with all of her might that she could just kill Naraku on the spot, rather than wondering if she was supposed to kill the mind that was in Kaede's body or the body that was now inhabited by Kirara. Either way she figured he would get his in the end, and she would get her darling brother back. Shaking her thoughts away from the evil being of doom, Sango focused on the very confused and very flat Kouga. Poking him with her staff, she woke him from his squished slumber.
"Wha-?" Kouga asked as he came to. Who'd have thought than an old woman could squash something with that much force? Sango sighed as she continued to absent-mindedly pet Miroku's head.
"Look Kouga, you're not the only one to switch bodies with someone. We all did," Sango began as she picked up the flea with her two fingers and set him on her knee. Ten minutes and two instances of Kouga fainting later, the whole story of body-switching and who was in who had been explained.
"YOU MEAN THAT MY BELOVED FIANCE IS IN THAT INU-KORO'S BODY?!" Kouga exclaimed at the top of his lungs, the horrible thought of his one and only true love being trapped inside his arch rival's body making its way into his mind. Sango nodded solemnly. Kouga then turned his attention to Naraku, who had stopped crying by this point in time.
"Keh, you're not so tough now, are ya you bastard?" Kouga taunted, Naraku acknowledged him with a sideways glance.
"Kukukuku, I don't see you being any stronger ," Naraku replied as he leaned over to smack the demon-turned-parasite Kouga again. Sango waved her staff threateningly at him in response, and Naraku slinked back into the edge of the cage.
"Kukuku, just you wait, I will get my old body back, and then all will be mine!" Naraku exclaimed as he tried to save his dignity. Kouga, figuring that Naraku was a lost cause for now, turned his attention back over to Kagome. No matter what body she was in, she would be beautiful. But still, to have him in his arch rival's body was something that he could not live with. Kouga bounced off of Sango's knee and onto Kagome's nose, where he proceeded to kiss it and its surrounding features.
"GET OFF OF HER YOU BASTARD!!!" InuYasha screamed at the top of his girly lungs while Kagome tried unsuccessfully to politely remove Kouga from her face. While at this point in time the sight of something like an old flea kissing InuYasha's body might seem somewhat tame to some of the other incidents that had happened that day, it was still enough to cause Shippou to stare as though he was witnessing pigs flying. Kagome cried out as she tried to remove the smooching parasite, but to no avail. Shippou, feeling sorry for her, did the only thing he could think of to get Kouga off of her.
"Osuwari, osuwari, osuwari, osuwari, osuwari, osuwari, osuwari, osuwari, osuwari!" Shippou chanted, forgetting that once was enough. Kagome slammed face-first into the ground repeatedly, each whap into the ground sounding harsher than the last. InuYasha flinched, and Sango grabbed the first aid kit knowing that poor Kagome was going to need it very bady.
Kagome moaned on the ground as she lay virtually unmoving on her stomach. An equally painful groaning could be heard from underneath her as Kouga's tiny voice let out a type of sound that suggested that his body had taken all of the squishing it could for one day.
Sango looked down to ask Miroku if he could move so that she could help Kagome, but to her surprise, he was asleep in her lap. Not wanting to wake him up, she slid the first aid kit over to InuYasha and asked him to help her out. InuYasha suddenly teared up, pounded the ground with her fist, and grunted very loudly.
"What's wrong?" Sango questioned,
"Oooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww…" InuYasha moaned as he began to cry like a baby.
"What now?" Shippou asked with an exasperated sigh. Suddenly, InuYasha let out a really loud, wet-sounding fart.
"Oh God!" Shippou yelled as he stood up and ran out of the room, fanning his nose as he went. He was soon followed by Kagome, who suddenly regained her strength and, turning green, ran out of room after him. Kouga, who was too flat to move, simply coughed and hacked and wheezed and tried to cover his nose so as not to die from the noxious fumes.
"Sorry…" InuYasha mumbled as Sango grabbed Miroku and ran out of the room as well, followed closely by a very overcome and dangerous-looking Kirara. Naraku, who was still trapped in his cage, scratched at the bars.
"Don't leave me here! No! DON'T LEAVE ME!!!" He cried desperately as he tried to no avail to get away from the overpowering stench. Having never smelling something so horrible in his life, he promptly passed out.
"Well at least this body is good for something," InuYasha mumbled to himself as he fell asleep where he lay.
A half an hour later, the rest of the group returned to the now-aired out room and looked for survivors. Kouga coughed and gagged, but was eventually able to move again. Naraku, on the other hand, was still out cold, though this didn't seem to phase anyone.
"That would be a very painful way to die," Shippou commented as he looked at a seemingly-lifeless Naraku in his cage.
"Then let's hope he's dead," Sango responded as she held a sleeping Miroku in her arms. Kirara followed close behind her as she went and sat in left corner of the room. As the group settled down, the door to the hut swung open. Everyone jumped, startled at the sudden movement. Sango's eyes nearly popped out of her skull at who walked in.
"Kirara?!" She cried in surprise as she saw the body of her cat walk over to Kagome and sniff her. Giving a knowledgeable sigh, Kirara's body turned its head and sat down. Everyone looked at the little youkai with a mix of shock and confusion.
"Er, Kirara? Is that you?" Shippou asked as he bent down and picked up the little youkai. Suddenly, Kirara launched at Shippou's shoulder and bit in.
"OW!!!" Shippou cried at as he tried to get Kirara off, to no avail. Kirara held fast onto his shoulder, having latched on for dear life as Shippou ran around the room trying to fling the little youkai off. Sango sighed and placed Miroku down, walking over to help, noting that Shippou's decision to ram repeatedly into the wall to hopefully squash the little youkai wasn't helping. Pinching Kirara in a certain spot on its neck, it let go and plopped onto the floor. InuYasha, who had woken up to all of the ruckus, began to poke Kirara with the Hiraikotsu, which just happened to be nearby.
"Uh…" InuYasha started as Kirara slowly woke up and looked around dazed.
"My shoulder," Shippou whimpered sadly as he tried to find something to bandage it up. Noting that there was nothing nearby, he ripped a part of his skirt off and used it to bandage the wound. Kagome meanwhile blushed, screamed, and nearly knocked Shippou out with the blunt end of the Tetsusaiga, seeing as how Shippou had managed to rip up the entire side of the skirt, and his Little Mermaid underwear was now in plain view of everyone.
Kirara, meanwhile, jumped over to Kouga and nudged him with his foot.
"Hey, quit it!" Kouga protested as Kirara picked him up by his teeth and, wandering over to Sango, placed him down. Kirara then pointed to Kouga, and then back at itself with its paw.
"You wanna eat Kouga?" InuYasha guessed, Kirara shook its head.
"I am not going to be your goddamn flea!" Kouga protested, thinking that was what Kirara meant. The little youkai shook its head again. Suddenly, Kagome's index finger shot up.
"Myouga, you're in Kirara's body, aren't you?" She said to which it nodded before running over to Kagome and chomping down on her neck, trying to suck her blood like her normally did. Kagome screamed and flung him across the room. The real Kirara, who was in Naraku's body, ran over to her body and gave it a few licks. Myouga let out a very loud squeak and scurried over to Sango, hiding behind her.
"Well thank God you're here anyways, maybe you can tell us why we switched bodies," InuYasha said as he propped himself up against the wall. Myouga looked at the group, all of whom gazed at him with pleading faces. "It's a good thing that I do know what's going on. That horrible Kouga doesn't know the art to being a flea at all," Myouga thought to himself as he held up one of his paws knowledgably and nodded.
Myouga then began to speak, his head forming the most rational way to explain the strange goings-ons that had been going on lately. He kept one of his paws held up while he used the other one to scratch his chin as he spent the next five minutes explaining to everyone why they had switched bodies, and how to return back to normal. Looking up to see if everyone understood, Myouga was met with a bunch of confused gazes.
"What?" Myouga asked in his mind. He then clasped his paw over his mouth. The word "what" which had formed in his mind, came out of his mouth as "meow." Apparently Kirara's body could only form the various sounds of a cat!
"I like Myouga better this way," Shippou commented, liking the fact that nobody could understand him for once.
"Why's that?" Kagome asked,
"Because then he'll quit talking all the time," InuYasha finished for Shippou.
"He is quite cute like that," Sango added as she picked Myouga up and began to pet him. Myouga struggled and tried to get loose. Sango pinched the same small area of his neck that she had before, and he promptly fell asleep.
"What'll we do? While I like the fact that Myouga will shut up for once, we do need to know how to change back," Kagome said with a sigh.
"HE KNOWS HOW TO CHANGE US BACK?!" InuYasha suddenly yelled, causing everyone to stare at him strangely.
"I think so," Kagome responded, he sounded like he did.
"SOMEBODY FIND A TRANSLATOR!!!" InuYasha screamed at the top of his lungs. Kouga clasped his hands over his ears to drown out the annoying sounds of his arch rival. Hopping back over to Kagome, he latched onto her nose (once again) and began to place little flea kisses all over her face. InuYasha screamed at this and threw the Hiraikotsu at Kagome's face in an effort to get him off.
"OW!!!!" Kagome yelled as the boomerang smashed straight into her face. Kouga let out a similar yell before fluttering to the floor. Kagome rubbed her aching nose, and angrily got up. She began to yell at InuYasha, gesturing wildly at him. When Kagome finished, she emphasized her point by stomping her foot on the ground, forgetting that Kouga was directly beneath her.
"Love…hurts…" Kouga said weakly from underneath Kagome's foot. Suddenly, Sango spoke up.
"You know, Kirara's mind is in Naraku's body, and Naraku can talk, so maybe there's a way that we could get Kirara to translate for Myouga."
"Eh?" InuYasha said, forgetting that their earlier conversation had been about how to understand the annoying flea-turned-cat youkai.
"Kukukukuku, you will never know the true secret," Naraku cackled from his cage, to which Kagome glared evilly at him.
"That bastard does have a point though. Kirara can't seem to talk, even though she's in a body that has the ability to speak," InuYasha said, hating to agree with such a low-life as Naraku.
"Well then, we'll just have to teach her then," Sango said matter-of-factly as she turned around to look at Kirara, who was snuggled up asleep next to Miroku. The sight of Naraku and Shippou's bodies snuggled up together in the corner was enough to make Kagome shake her head.
"Oy…this whole day is definitely strange," she said as she, Sango, Shippou, a half-dead Kouga, and InuYasha planned out how to train Kirara to talk.
The End?
Well everyone, I took your advice, and it turned out great. Like I said, I use every suggestion that I get in some form or fashion, so if you have an idea, do send it to me. So PLEASE REVIEW!!! I love feedback, I love suggestions, and I love encouragement. I'm sorry that it took so long to get this latest installment up, but I do hope that you enjoyed it. Oh, and feel free to visit my web site at www.geocities.com/ahem1650. It's not InuYasha, but there are three others that you might enjoy. ^_^;