Author's Notes: Hi everyone! I know you all wanted the next chapter out ASAP, and I'm sorry for the wait. I was on Spring Break last week at the Virgin Islands, where there were no computers in sight. Another thing is that I go to high school and college at the same time through a program called Post Secondary Education Options, so I have two Spring Breaks. This basically means that when I got back from the Virgin Islands, I some class work to make up at the college. Phew! So that's the reason why it's taken me so long to get this next part out. Thanks to everyone for their suggestions, I pretty much used them all in this chapter. Keep them coming, don't feel shy!
Rated – PG-13 for language
By – Merc
Reference:
Kagome is in InuYasha's body
InuYasha is in Sango's body
Sango is in Miroku's body
Miroku is in Shippou's body
Shippou is in Kagome's body
Naraku is in Kaede's body
Kirara is in Naraku's body
Myouga is in Kirara's body
Kouga is in Myouga's body
Jaken is in Kouga's body
Kaede is in Jaken's body
Sesshomaru is in Rin's body
Rin is in Sesshomaru's body
**Author's note –For those confused, read Volume 30, Chapter 292 of the manga. You can view the translation here at www.wot-club.org.uk/trans/iv30/v30p04.html. Translation courtesy of the Sengoku o-Togi Zoushi website.
SNOOOOOOOOOORRRRE!!!
Bright sunlight spilled into the small hut where the group lay asleep. After trying for a few hours to teach Kirara how to speak in their native tongue, she showed no signs of improvement, and the group decided to call it a night. Shippo lay sprawled next to Kagome, while InuYasha laid in the fetal position by the doorway. Miroku was curled up next to Kirara, both of whom were snoozing very soundly. Sango slept perched up against the wall next to Naraku's cage, which encased a very still but loudly-snoring Naraku. Kouga laid next to Kagome, a muffled snore coming from inside the little bandages covering his entire body, a reminder of the events from the night before. Myouga slept on his back next to Sango, making various purring noises and kicking his little kitty feet in the air every once in awhile.
Everyone had been very tired, but as they began to doze, they were awakened by the demonic noises of Kirara, who was fast away in slumber land. For Kirara, who was in Naraku's body, when she snored, the sound emitted from her wasn't that of air loudly passing through. It was the sound of the many demons that made up Naraku all talking at once. And the voices weren't happy. With every breath, the demonic melody of over a hundred voices floated outwards, each one with a different phrase. The phrases generally ranged from the different ways to kill a human to the various ways in which they would rape/murder/torture/eat/whatever to women and children. Needless to say, the entire group became extremely unnerved by this, and in the end they left it up to Sango to kick Kirara anytime she began to snore. Consequently, Sango had stayed up the majority of the night kicking Kirara. However, she wasn't really that angry about the assignment; for while she loved Kirara, she hated Naraku, and every time she kicked his body, she made sure to aim for his…er…*ahem* joystick so to speak. Sango had chuckled about this, figuring when Naraku returned to his body, he was going to not only be in a world of hurt, but also find that he wouldn't be able to make little Naraku's (if he tried).
"Mmmmmm…" Kagome sighed in her sleep as she shifted, rolling over onto Kouga. Squish.
"Hey!" Kouga cried out from underneath Kagome, briefly forgetting that she was in InuYasha's body.
"Get off of me you stupid Inu-koro!" He protested in his tiny, bandage-muffled voice as he tried to wiggle free from underneath her. Kagome, however, was sleeping soundly, and Kouga's tiny voice hadn't managed to penetrate the silence (or the snoring lack thereof ) of the room. Naraku rolled over in his cage, and began to snore very loudly.
"SNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRREEEEEE…" Naraku slept, his mouth laying open to the world. With all things considered, one had to agree: even when possessed, Kaede (or at least her body) could snore with the best of them. The loud snoring caused Shippou to wake up, and become annoyed.
"Stop it," Shippou whined tiredly as he rolled over and covered his ears, to no avail. "Stop it," Shippou said again in his feminine voice. When the snoring didn't stop, Shippou in his groggy state of mind figured it was InuYasha who was snoring. Remembering that he was in Kagome's body, he attempted to get InuYasha to stop.
"Osuwari," Shippou mumbled, and down went Kagome. Splat.
"What'd you do that for?" Kagome yelled, now fully awake after having her head smashed through the floor. Kouga, who had been underneath Kagome's body at the time, was unconscious.
"Wha-?" Shippou asked as he rolled over to meet the angry face of Kagome.
"Why'd you do that Shippou?" Kagome asked, her eyebrow twinging in anger after having been rudely awoken from a very strange yet romantic dream involving her, InuYasha, and a geometry book.
"You were snoring," Shippou explained, his voice heavy with sleep.
"No I wasn't," Kagome retorted,
"Were too InuYasha," Shippou said as he rubbed his eyes groggily.
"I'm Kagome!" Kagome yelled, waking everyone up. Shippou's eyes suddenly snapped open.
"Oh, I'm so sorry Kagome, I forgot that you had switched bodies with InuYasha!" Shippou said as the realization hit him. He got on his knees and began to repeatedly bow, begging for Kagome's forgiveness. Being the nice person that she was, she forgave him.
"What's going on?" Miroku said sleepily as he rubbed his eyes and looked around the room. When his eyes landed on Kirara's body, he stared.
"When did Kirara get here?" Miroku asked as he stood up and stretched.
"While you were asleep," Sango answered as she let out a loud yawn.
"So who's in her body?" Miroku asked,
"Myouga," Kagome answered, eliciting an odd stare from Miroku.
"Well I'll be," He stated as he continued to pan around the room. His eyes rested on Kagome, and what looked like a half-dead Kouga in front of her.
"What about him?" Miroku asked as he pointed to Kouga. Kagome, Shippou, and Sango looked down.
"Oh my God Kouga-kun, I'm so sorry!" Kagome yelped as she peeled the pancaked flea off the group. Kouga let out a brain-dead gurgle, signaling that he was alive but not by much.
"You rolled over Kouga?" Shippou asked, remembering that Kouga had settled down next to Kagome the night before.
"So let me get this straight then: Kouga is in Myouga's body and Myouga is in Kirara's body?" Miroku chanced,
"Yup," Sango answered. Miroku, feeling somewhat satisfied in getting caught up, rested his eyes upon Naraku, who was just waking up.
"I wonder whatever happened to Kaede-sama," Miroku wondered aloud.
"I have no idea," Sango replied as she kicked the still-asleep Kirara right where it hurt when she began to snore again, causing both Shippou and Miroku to flinch.
Kaede had woken up the day before and not recognized her surroundings. Figuring she had been kidnapped by an evil youkai of some sort, she began to sneak into the forest in an attempt to escape. While looking behind her back to check if anyone was following, she accidentally slammed into something. Slowly turning her head around, she met with white pants and a diligently decorated kimono-tunic combination. Slowly looking up, she had met with eyes of none other than Sesshomaru.
"Jaken-sama!" Sesshomaru had squealed happily as he bent down to give her a hug. Kaede screamed and ran away, leaving a bewildered and florally-decorated Sesshomaru in her dust.
Now a day later, Kaede began to slash her toad-like face with cold water in an attempt to make herself alert. She looked down at herself for what she figured was the thousandth time since she had first discovered herself in Sesshomaru's servant's body.
This was all very strange. She woke up in another body, InuYasha's brother was skipping and decorated many times over with various local foliage. Tied in with the fact that he was not only smiling, but gleefully singing children's tunes, it made for much suspicion. Suddenly, it dawned upon her what had happened. Everyone had swapped bodies!
Kaede figured she needed to get back to her hut in order to reverse the process not just on herself, but the rest of the country as well. However, one problem lay in her way…she had no idea where she was. When she had run away the day before, she hadn't gone very far, mostly due to her stubby frog-legs which carried her in a very slow pace. Before she had come down to the stream to wash her face, she had observed Sesshomaru skipping merrily about, hugging what appeared to be Kouga and carrying what appeared to be a very small and angry little human girl in his right arm. Thinking back on it now, it was most likely that Sesshomaru and the little girl had switched bodies. This would be good, for Kaede knew that under any other circumstances, Sesshomaru wouldn't hesitate to kill her. But what's the worst he could do in a small child's body? Figuring that the group was her best chance of making it back to her hut, Kaede trotted away from the stream and down hill as fast as her little froggy-youkai legs could carry her. This would prove to be a most interesting experience.
Back at Kaede's hut, the rest of the occupants had woke up, and were shuffling about. Everyone, that is, except for InuYasha.
"Ow…" InuYasha moaned painfully, "Sango, how come I still hurt all over?" Sango blushed a deep crimson as the eyes of the entire hut fell upon her for a response. Coughing lightly, she walked over and helped up InuYasha, walking him outside of the hut.
"I thought you said that this is just like when I turn human or full youkai!" InuYasha complained once they were out of earshot from the hut.
"What do you mean by that?" Sango asked quizzically,
"You know, that it only lasts for one day," InuYasha replied. Sango coughed again and wished that she could fall into a hole in the ground.
"Well, er, you see, it's a bit different than that," Sango began.
"How so?" InuYasha asked,
"Well, you see…" Sango began, her blush spreading throughout her entire body.
Back at the hut meanwhile, Kouga was eyeing Shippou adoringly. Even though Kagome's body was currently inhabited by a small kitsune, Kouga didn't mind ogling. Especially now since the lower end of her short-kimono had ripped, and the entire length of her legs, not to mention the luscious curves on her strong behind now showed. Kagome, glanced over at Kouga, and then followed his line of sight to where his thoughts lay. Blushing a deep crimson, Kagome let out a war growl and smashed the blunt end of the Tetsusaiga right down on Kouga's head.
"HENTAI!!!" Kagome screamed, knowing full well that Kouga was thinking perverted thoughts about her. Everyone in the hut turned their gazes towards her as she angrily stared at the area of the floor where she pushed the Tetsusaiga down.
"What's wrong Kagome?" Shippou asked as Kagome shot him and everyone else in the room a death-glare.
"Stupid hentai!" Kagome harrumphed as she removed the Tetsusaiga from on top of Kouga.
"Kukukukukuku…" Naraku began to laugh before he was cut off by an incredibly loud, shrill voice.
"FIVE DAYS?!?!?!?!?!"
Sango tried to calm down InuYasha after his loud and painful outburst. InuYasha looked as though he had been informed that the sky was falling.
"Calm down InuYasha,"
"F-f-f-f-f-five days?!" InuYasha repeated,
"It's different for every girl InuYasha, and it just so happens that for me it's five days long," Sango explained.
"You mean I have five more days of this shit?" InuYasha said unbelievingly.
"Well, since yesterday was the first day, technically you have four days left," Sango calculated. InuYasha began to bawl like a baby.
"I HAVE TO ENDURE FOUR MORE DAYS OF THIS?! OH GOD, HOW DO YOU LIVE?!" InuYasha cried towards the sky.
"It gets better InuYasha, really, after today the symptoms should all be gone," Sango said as she put a comforting arm around InuYasha's shoulder and led him back to the hut. InuYasha cried inconsolably.
"Is everything alright?" Shippou asked as Sango helped InuYasha back towards the area of the wall where he had been sleeping earlier.
"Yeah, just fine," Sango said with a slight blush in her cheeks.
"Kukukukuku," Naraku laughed evilly, his gravelly old-lady voice sending shivers down everyone's spines.
"Shut the hell up!" InuYasha retorted as he threw his sandal at the cage. "I hate you! I hate the world! But most of all, I HATE BEING A GIRL!!!"
"Welcome to our world," Kagome stated matter-of-factly.
"How do you females live?" InuYasha wondered aloud,
"And they say women are weaker than men. What a laugh," Sango added as she walked over to Naraku's cage and bashed him over the head with her staff.
"Kukukukuku-ow!" Naraku yelped.
"Shut up," Sango said, to which Naraku grabbed her robes pulled as hard as he could, smashing her into the bars of the cage. Suddenly, Miroku sprung into action, hurling fox fire after fox fire at Naraku.
"Stupid wench! Stupid fox-crap!" Naraku cursed as he backed off from the injured Sango.
"You stay the hell away from my fiancée to piece of amoeba crap!" Miroku said as threateningly as he could, compensating for his size.
"Fiancée?" Naraku inquired,
"Kawaii!" Kagome suddenly yelled from the corner.
"Eh?" InuYasha asked,
"You said that you were just companions in battle until after you defeat Naraku, but now you're acknowledging your love.**(A/N: for those confused, read the author's note at the top of this fic) Kawaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!" Kagome gushed, unable to hold in her excitement. Miroku and Sango both looked Kagome with a mix of shock and confusion on their faces.
"EH?!" Sango asked,
"Y-y-you were spying on us?" Miroku asked, to which Kagome in her own little air-headed way nodded eagerly.
"InuYasha thought you were hypocritical, but I knew otherwise!" Kagome stated proudly as she pointed her finger upwards towards the sky.
"You were all spying on us?" Sango asked, feeling even more embarrassed than ever before. Kagome began to answer excitedly before both InuYasha and Shippou pounced on her, clamping their hands over her mouth. Miroku glared at the three people, while Sango feigned a worse injury and rolled over in an attempt to hide herself from the world.
"I'm lost," Kouga, who had been silent from quite some time, confessed. Myouga, who was in Kirara's body, nodded in agreement. Naraku tried to figure out what had just taken place, but thinking in the body that he was in made his head hurt, and he instead sat back and watched as InuYasha and Shippou tried to dig themselves out of a hole that Kagome had conveniently dug for them.
Kaede meanwhile had caught up with Rin, Sesshomaru, and Jaken and had explained the entire fiasco to them. Jaken had been glad to see that his body was in one piece, although he wasn't too thrilled with the mind of an old woman inhabiting it. Sesshomaru, who as Kaede had predicted was in the younger girl's body, sat with his arms crossed, a stern look played upon his face. Earlier Rin had tried to put a bunch of flowers in his hair and fluff up his kimono, both things which he repeatedly avoided with a lot of scratching and threatening. In the end however, Rin had held up the Tenseiga to his throat and in her attempt at a silly-serious voice, told him that she would smack him over the head with it if he didn't comply. Having failed to see the point in continued resisting after his human child had threatened to heal him more or less, he gave in and let Rin play with his hair. Why did God hate him so? He had wondered to himself over and over again. After Kaede had come though, with the prospect of a cure, Sesshomaru was more than eager to oblige her every request. Calling over Aun Un, Sesshomaru, Rin, and Kaede climbed on and took off.
"Wait for me!" Jaken cried as he took off running, forgetting that he was now in Kouga's body. The speed took him by surprise and he lost his concentration for a minute, which was apparently enough time for him to dash right off the edge of a cliff.
The End?
Hey everyone! I hope you liked the latest installment. I tried to make this one a tad more serious than the others, mainly so that the series wouldn't get so crazy that it would lose its humor. That's not to say that this chapter wasn't crazy though. Hehe! I love reviews, they keep my going. SO PLEASE REVIEW!!! I'm not gonna be one of those authors who says that they need x amount of reviews before they write the next chapter or anything, but reviews are what keep me motivated. I use nearly all of the suggestions that I receive too, so by all means, give me ideas. The insanity well is always in need of replenishing, and lord knows I wouldn't have been able to make the last two chapters without the input of the readers. So please review, or at least submit an idea. Feel free to e-mail me or visit my web site at www.geocities.com/ahem1650.