*hugs and kisses her muse* You're back! I've missed you so much…*turns to face reviewers with flushed face* Well, what do you know, it's an update… I haven't updated that story since… *looks at the date and gasps* Oh my God, October 19? Darn. Almost a month… *pouts* I'm sooo sorry, no excuses; I'm just having way too much fun working on a nice crossover with author foofighta. Anyhow, my updates are slower, and the situation probably won't change in the following weeks… I'm finishing school at Christmas, though, and then I don't start my training course (which will probably keep me away from my computer from February to April included) until February 2d, and that leaves me a month to write… *touches wood* I hope. You can blame me for taking a lot of time to update, but don't blame me for lying!

Pay attention to the dates from this chapter forward… I can already tell you this story ends in 1768, so you can guess I'll skip a few months once and awhile, or this story will take forever…

Enjoy!

Confusion

August 1756

"Whoooa! Attention!" I let go of the bridle and Ibbo took many steps back as the stallion kicked out in a last attempt to bring us down, its hooves barely missing my head. I quickly backed up from it and the horse trotted along in circles in the fold, shaking its red head furiously to get rid of the bit and bridle. I wept my forehead with my shirt sleeve and looked at my bloody palms, the skin of it ripped raw with holding the leather bridle. That damn horse was crazy.

"We never make it, Remy." I turned to smile up at Ibbo. He was perched on the fence, his elbows resting on his knees. A gleam of sweat shone under the sun on his nearly black skin, and he smiled down in return, dashing white teeth shinning in contrast with his dark face. "Or we die in the process" he said in French.

"We'll die in the process, then." I was about to say more when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around, meeting hazel eyes. "Monsieur Sherston, bonjour." William nodded in return and leaned on the fence.

"Any luck, Remy?"

"M'fraid non, monsieur Sherston. Dat beast's evil incarnated." I flinched, like I always did when I talked English. I had learned it fast, thanks to William and Mary, but it still sounded horrible to my ears.

"Took on' hour, Sir, just put de bridle on" Ibbo continued, and William chuckled.

Lord Sherston had made the acquisition of a new horse. A huge two-year-old Arabic stallion the color of burning fire, Diavolo* bore its name with pride, and watched us with black eyes full of hatred. I had to admit it was beautiful. Its hard muscles rolled under the sweat covered ruddy fur and it shook its head in an angry movement, its black mane falling over its long, well shaped head. I fell in love with that beast the moment it was brought at the plantation, but that feeling had quickly faded into reciprocal hate during the hour it had taken me, Ibbo and three other men to put the damned thing in its loose box, one of the men ending on his butt with a broken arm in the process. Three weeks had passed since its arrival at Silver Lake plantation, and today was the first time we had managed putting something around Diavolo's head without it being a lasso thrown from fifteen feet away. The horse had a bridle on. Great. I already shivered at the idea of taking it off.

"Who you intendin' on killin' with de horse?" William snorted.

"Mary chose the horse. We tried telling her she could never ride it, but she insisted, saying yah could tame it anytime." I snorted and shook my head.

"De way I see it, Monsieur William, it be me who's bein' tamed." He only laughed.

"Ah well, Remy, yah'll find a way. Yah always do."

~~

The horse kept walking in circles in the fold, snorting and shaking its head in the moonlight. I chuckled, impressed with the animal's pride and persistence in looking stupid, and walked away from the window to lie on my small bed. My mind was already slowly drifting to sleep when I heard someone climbing the ladder to the second story of the stable. I sat up and narrowed my eyes, trying to see who was there. "Remy? Are yah asleep?"

"Non. Mary, what are'y doin' here?" She walked to the window where I had been standing before, and I frowned at what she was wearing. She had some pants on instead of her usually skirt, but wore a simple white shirt. A woollen coat was thrown on her shoulders, and she hugged over her chest, sighing deeply.

"Ah can't sleep." She turned to look at me, and tilted her head to the side. "How?" I smiled.

Since the episode in the stables, we had become good friends. In secret, that is, since Lord Sherston probably wouldn't approve her daughter having civilized conversations with a slave. She often came to the stables to talk about the horses, about her life here in the colonies. My life in Acadia was delicately left out of the strange frenglish conversations we had. She knew why I was here, but I knew she was curious about my former life. Instead, we had a little game we liked to play. She was more than interested in learning some French, and I had to learn English. It was a fair exchange, and we were enjoying each other's teaching. We only had one word to say. "Quoi?"

"Ah'm leaving tomorrow."

I frowned. "Why?"

"How, Remy?" she insisted. I sighed.

"Je pars demain."

"Je pars demain" she repeated under her breath, memorizing the words. I got up and walked to her.

"Mary… is dat true?" She nodded, keeping her eyes down.

"Ah can't stay here, Remy, it'll destroy me."

"S'not de first time y'say dat, chère… But y'never tell me pourquoi." She walked to the bed and sat down on it.

"Ah guess Ah could. It won' change anything anyways." I joined her on the bed, leaning on the wall, and waited. "Ah don' wanna get married, Remy." I opened my mouth in surprise.

"Married? Dat's not a bad t'ing, Mary."

"Of course it is, Remy." She looked straight at me. "Ah never asked yah… never asked if yah were married before they took yah here. But if yah were, yah were by choice." Her eyes were full of tears. "Ah… Ah'm turnin' 18 in a month, Remy, and Ah already know who Ah'm getting married to the day of my 21st birthday. I've known it fo'two years." I didn't say a word, frozen, and waited for her to continue. "His name's… Campbell. Something Campbell. He's something like 60 years old, and he's a planter somewhere in Virginia." Her voice got bitterer as she twisted her hands in her lap. "Ah don't want that, Remy. If Ah get married, Ah want it to be out of love."

"M'sorry t'hear dat, Mary…"

"Were yah married, Remy?" I stared at her for a few seconds before looking down. I haven't talked about Belle and the kids in almost a year.

"Oui. But I doubt I'll ever see dem again."

"Them?" I smiled sadly and nodded.

"Quatre of dem… Dere's Alexandre, who's… he should be 7 now, and dere's Éloïse, who's 5."

"That's a beautiful name, Remy." I nodded, eyes closed. I felt like something was stuck in my throat.

"Dere's also Sylvain, who'll be turnin' 4 soon, and young Julien, mon bébé. He's 2 now." I sighed. "I don' even know where dey could be. I heard some ships went to les Antilles**, en Angleterre, en France…" She stared at me, her eyes wet.

"Ah'm so sorry, Remy, Ah didn't know yah had a whole family." I closed my eyes and laid back in the bed. "Ah'm here, wishin' I had it, and yah lost yours."

"We're two lon'ly hearts, Mary. But dat's not de end'o de world." She was silent for a long moment, and it took me a minute to realize she was silently crying, tears running down her cheeks. She smiled through her tears.

"It's such a shame yah're a slave, Remy." I sat up and smiled at her.

"What if I wasn'?" She stared at me for a few moments before looking away. She kept her face hidden behind her wild locks, but I had noticed the blush. I smiled. "What if I wasn', Mary?" I said in a much softer tone. She chuckled, turning her face a little more from me.

"Then maybe…" She sighed deeply, took a deep breath and turned to face me. Her face was entirely flushed and her eyes were shinning, with tears, with joy or with anger, that I couldn't tell. I drew back in reflex, though, in case it was with fury. "Then maybe things would be different, Remy. Different for me."

"What d'ye want t'change 'bout me, chère?"

The room was dark and clouds hid the moon, plunging us in almost complete darkness. My eyes were used to it, though, and I could see her profile, the pale light coming from the window behind her lighting her cream colored skin. She turned to look at me and her face disappeared, her curly dark hair lighten from behind, and her eyes twinkling in the dark. It unnerved me, in more than one way, and it unnerved me even more to think that I was facing the light from the window, and that she could see me very well while I couldn't read her face. She leaned forward, her face coming closer to mine, and I froze.

"Yah have beautiful eyes, Remy. Nobody here has dark eyes, like yours. Mah father's are brown, almost black, but yours… It's softer, the same color than the dead leaves we find all around the house in autumn." I swallowed. Hard.

"Mary…" She reached up and gently let the tip of her fingers brush my lips, shushing me, and I breathed in deeply, my heart beating wildly in my chest. "Mary, stop. Dis's dangerous" I said, my lips moving against her fingers. I saw her eyes shinning in the dark, and she leaned even closer to me.

"Shh… Yah have no idea what it means tah me… How things could be, Remy, if yah weren't what yah are." She moved even closer and her fingers left my lips only to be replaced by her mouth, softly brushing mine. Her breath tickled my cheeks and I closed my eyes, my hands aching to move. Whether to push her away or pull her near, I couldn't say. She pulled back after a short moment, blinking hard. "How things would be, if what Ah just did was allowed tah me."

I narrowed my eyes, trying to read her face in the darkness, but she gently shook her head, her hair falling in her face. I finally managed to move and reach up to push her hair away, only to find her cheeks were wet with tears. I softly brushed them dry with my thumbs, cupping her face, and she closed her eyes, turning so that her lips touched the base of my thumb. We stayed in that position a few seconds, not speaking a word, but I knew her mind was racing as fast as mine.

Slowly, she turned back her face and tilted her head up, eyes still closed. I took a deep breath, my blood racing in my veins, and leaned down, the tip of my nose brushing hers. I hesitated a split second, but she didn't, leaning up so that her mouth met mine. Her lips were pleading, soft and warm against my hesitating mouth. It was nice. It was exciting.

It was dangerous. Very dangerous.

And yet I surrendered, deepening the kiss as my hand cupped the back of her head and pulled her closer. She moved closer to me with a moan, her mouth opening, demanding more. Her hands ran through my hair, her fingers tangling in it, and she leaned on me, pushing me back so that I laid on the mattress with her over me.

My heart was beating loudly in my rib cage, threatening to come out, and my blood ran fast in my veins, blinding me with flashes of red as her tongue danced with mine. My breath was coming short and my hands were itching to move along her body. A part of my mind stayed clear, though, stubbornly staying in her hair though she clearly wanted more than that.

I broke the kiss, pulling her away, and she opened surprised eyes to look at me. "Mary… stop. We can' do dis. Y'know it." Her lips, flushed with our kiss, trembled, but she slowly nodded and leaned her forehead against my lips. I kissed it and she pulled away, sliding from the bed and standing beside it, her eyes avoiding mine.

"Good night, Remy." With that she left and I sat still in my bed, listening to her footsteps as she ran out of the stables and back to the house.

I never went back to sleep, my eyes always drifting to the window.

And all night, I stared at the auburn haired horse running around in circles in the fold, shaking angrily its head. Refusing domestication and, now more than ever, eager to be free.

To be continued…

* Italian for Devil (I hope… that's what the web translator said… If I'm wrong, please tell me!)

** the West Indies

*deep breath* Well. I hope you enjoyed that. I'll try to update faster next time, promise.

foofighta, mah girl! See? SEE? I DID IT! I UPDATED! And it's certainly not thanks to you, with you putting all those crossover ideas in my head! But… ! Now that I've UPDATED, I can go and write some scenes! Yay! But I really have to work And now, it's YOUR turn! I've been waiting for a Torn update for a while now!

WarmerThanFire : Well, sorry this chapter took so long to come… Blame it on my muse, she's busy elsewhere and doesn't want to help me with this story! Talk to her! Maybe she'll listen to YOU *sticks out her tongue at her muse sulking in the corner*

Yumiko : *blushes* Well, that's a late 'now', but it's a now nevertheless… sorry about the wait.

ishandahalf : Well, I hope you feel REALLY guilty about Belle now, don't you? *evil laugh* And I don't want ANYONE coming and blaming me for making Remy forget about Belle. Face the facts… she's an ocean away, he hasn't seen her in almost a year and probably thinks he'll never see her again, as sad as that may sound. Haha. Well, now, I hope you liked this chapter, even if it ended on a strange note. Okay, they kissed. But keep in mind, Romy-lover, that this is a 'relationship' between a slave and a young planter's daughter. Does this sound all good and easy to your ears?

Igamblelife : Well, I hope you saw some nice amelioration in Mary's attitude. It may look like I skipped a part, but I think I made it clear that they are friends now, after almost 8 months of meeting and talking, and learning each other's language. From now on, the way they'll act in the other's presence is still undetermined, and I have to find a way for things to be bearable for both of them… Because I seriously doubt Charles Sherston would appreciate her daughter kissing a slave in the stables, in the middle of the night.